Download or read book Summary of Adam Carolla s Everything Reminds Me of Something written by Everest Media, and published by Everest Media LLC. This book was released on 2022-08-29T22:59:00Z with total page 40 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Please note: This is a companion version & not the original book. Sample Book Insights: #1 Americans used to be a gritty people who made their own stuff. But now, we are losing our individuality. We are becoming too safety conscious to do things like roll around in the back of a station wagon if the old man takes a turn too fast in the family truckster. #2 The things I hauled the most in my piece-of-shit pickup were ass and grass. No one rode for free. #3 The landau top is a car concept that was popular in the 1970s. It was exclusively on American cars, and it shouted, Don’t pop the hood; look at the love seat we’ve grafted onto the roof. #4 The Japanese were good for only 8 percent of the market share for cars in 1976. By 1986, they had over 20 percent. We were asking for it, like when a woman is raped and the defense is Did you see what she was wearing.

Download or read book In Fifty Years We ll All Be Chicks written by Adam Carolla and published by Crown. This book was released on 2011-05-17 with total page 274 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar. It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At first the old sea captain just laughed. But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again. At this point it became apparent that he was serious. Dan Haggerty's dad fired back, "You've got to be kidding me, son." The bartender replied, "New policy. Everyone has to show their ID." Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II. It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back. In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks is Adam's comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to day life as well as his past—Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire.

Download or read book Everything Reminds Me of Something written by Adam Carolla and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2022-07-19 with total page 222 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: As seen on Hannity! The bestselling comedian returns to respond and rant on real questions about life and love, careers and cars, and everything else from fans and famous friends. Ever wonder what you would say or do if you didn’t give a f**k? Adam Carolla can tell you. In his sixth book, the comedian, podcaster, and provocateur does what he does best—doles out advice and opinions with utter disregard for our politically correct, self-righteous, virtue signaling, woke times. Thanks to decades of hosting MTV and radio’s Loveline, his Guinness World Record–breaking podcast and touring the stand-up circuit, no one in comedy is as gifted at thinking on their feet. Taking actual questions from his fans—and even some celebrity friends, including Ray Romano, Maria Menounos, and Judd Apatow—Adam dishes out hilarious rants, unpredictable tangents, brilliant inventions, sage advice, and controversial opinions in a way only a self-proclaimed asshole can.

Download or read book President Me written by Adam Carolla and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2014-05-13 with total page 288 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: My fellow Americans, President John F. Kennedy once famously said, "Hey, is that blond intern eighteen yet?" He also said, "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country." We've changed a lot since JFK asked us all to pitch in. We've become a nation of narcissistic, yoga-mat-toting, service-dog-having, absentee dads and gluten-free, hand-wringing, hypochondriac moms of overcaffeinated (yet somehow still lazy) twerking tweens. And our government is an inept bureaucracy incapable of doing anything except getting in our wallets and in our way. We've got to get it together, America. That is why I, Adam Carolla, hereby declare myself Candidate Carolla. The tome you hold in your hands is a statement of my intent to whip our country back into fighting shape, to eliminate the "what are you going to do for me?" mentality that has invaded our country. President Me is my manifesto, my vision for a better place . . . free of Big Government, barefoot fliers, lazy hipsters who'd rather "Occupy" than work, and the other things that are bringing our country down. With my cabinet appointees, my list of worthy and necessary presidential ManDates, and tons of great ideas for fixing our health care, education, energy, and even national parks systems . . . behold an America we can be proud of. The America I see in my head. You're welcome in advance. Your future leader, Adam

Download or read book Daddy Stop Talking written by Adam Carolla and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2015-05-26 with total page 229 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Last Will & Testament of Adam Carolla I, Adam Carolla, being of beaten-down mind, declare this to be my Last Will and Testament. I revoke all wills and addendums previously made by me. (You guys never did listen, anyway.) Article I I appoint the rest of the world's unappreciated dads as Personal Representatives to administer this Will. I bequeath to them the right to crack a couple cold ones in the garage after working their asses off all week and ask that they be permitted to watch all the porn they like and not have to change diapers and get dragged to every preschool "graduation" and PTA meeting. Article II To my wife, I leave a safe-deposit box, the sole content of which is a note reading "Get a job. I'm dead," and my best wishes on trying to keep up with the unending demands of our houses, cars, dog, and kids. Article III I devise, bequeath, and give my kids this book, Daddy, Stop Talking. Since you guys were the death of me, I leave you these pages of wisdom. But no cash, cars, or property. You've got to earn those. On that note, I further demand that the following message be placed on the marker of my grave: "You're All on Your Own Now. Enjoy."

Download or read book Shrinkage Manhood Marriage and the Tumor That Tried to Kill Me written by Bryan Bishop and published by St. Martin's Griffin. This book was released on 2015-06-02 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A New York Times bestseller! An Amazon Best Books of 2014 selection "If you're reading this, it means I'm already dead. Just kidding." In 2009, at thirty years old, Bryan Bishop's life was right on track. Known to millions as "Bald Bryan," the sidekick and soundman on the record-setting podcast, The Adam Carolla Show, his radio career was taking off. He was newly engaged. Then, he and his fiancée Christie were delivered a crushing blow when he was diagnosed with a brain stem glioma—an inoperable brain tumor. Suddenly Bryan's promising future was transformed into a grueling schedule of radiation and chemotherapy while facing his mortality. In this poignant narrative that is alternately heartbreaking and hysterical, Bishop shares the surreal experiences of writing his will with the bravado of a pulp novelist, taking chemo in a strip club, and (technically) the closest he ever got to achieving his lifelong dream of a threesome—when a physical therapist had to show his wife how to bathe him in the shower during his weakened state. Whether recounting his search for the most aggressive form of treatment, how radiation treatment jeopardized his ability to (literally) walk down the aisle or even smile for his wedding photos, or recalling the time his wife inadvertently drugged him in a pool in Maui, Bishop's inimitable voice radiates through his story. As the author celebrates how treatment shrunk his tumor and gave him a new lease on life, Shrinkage reveals the resilience of the human spirit—and the power of laughter—during even the darkest times.

Download or read book There s No I in Office written by Jacob Lentz and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2009-04-01 with total page 444 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A Simon & Schuster eBook. Simon & Schuster has a great book for every reader.

Download or read book Digging the Vein written by Tony O'Neill and published by Contemporary Press. This book was released on 2006 with total page 116 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Digging the Vein's unnamed narrator has a problem: He has a burgeoning drug habit and a wife he's only known for two days, but no job, no money, and no way out. As the narrator's life crumbles, the pills, booze, and problems multiply until he hits on a brilliant solution: heroin. Soon the narrator is associating with a cabal of street freaks. Just as the comedy is piling up, things go sour, making Digging the Vein a brutal look at a self-destructed, marginal life.

Download or read book Dear Mrs Fitzsimmons Enhanced E Book written by Greg Fitzsimmons and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2010-11-09 with total page 294 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: With a foreword from Howard Stern, the enhanced e-book features a total of nineteen videos lasting approximately 30 seconds each, with Bob Saget, Adam Corolla, Kyle Gass, Pete Yorn, Zach Galifianakis, and many more as they bring the letters from the book to life.

Download or read book Stop written by Leonora Rustamova and published by Bluemoose Books Limited. This book was released on 2011 with total page 240 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Leonora Rustamova was sacked for writing a story for five disaffected teenagers. Read her own telling of what happened, her thoughts and insights into teaching, teenagers and, of course you can make up your own mind about that story.

Download or read book Self Inflicted Wounds written by Aisha Tyler and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2013-07-09 with total page 468 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In her book Self-Inflicted Wounds, comedian, actress, and cohost of CBS’s daytime hit show The Talk, Aisha Tyler recounts a series of epic mistakes and hilarious stories of crushing personal humiliation, and the personal insights and authentic wisdom she gathered along the way. The essays in Self-Inflicted Wounds are refreshingly and sometimes brutally honest, surprising, and laugh-out-loud funny, vividly translating the brand of humor Tyler has cultivated through her successful standup career, as well as the strong voice and unique point of view she expresses on her taste-making comedy podcast Girl on Guy. Riotous, revealing, and wonderfully relatable, Aisha Tyler’s Self-Inflicted Wounds: Heartwarming Tales of Epic Humiliation is about the power of calamity to shape life, learning, and success.

Download or read book Idiots written by Laura Clery and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2022-04-05 with total page 256 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A fresh, hilarious, and relatable collection of essays about everything from motherhood and marriage to sobriety and work-life balance (or imbalance) from the nationally bestselling author of the “honest, complicated” (SheKnows) Idiot. TRIGGER WARNING: TORN EVERYTHING! In her first book, Idiot, bestselling author Laura Clery gave us mind-blowingly personal life stories about addiction, toxic relationships, and recovery—establishing herself as the preeminent voice of infinite conviction meets zero impulse control. Here she is two kids later asking, “How did we get here?” Sex. Sex is how we got here. Laura’s life has changed a great deal since she wrote Idiot, but her hilarious candor has only increased with motherhood—plus she tells some of the stories she was too scared to tell in her first book (which is really saying something). “Full of wit” (Publishers Weekly) and charm, Laura shares more than anyone wanted about: -Placenta pills, mom brain, and vibrator manifestation -Nipple-twisting orgies and flinging a butt burrito in your doctor’s face -ADHD, autism, postpartum depression, and the wisdom of a ninety-eight-year-old sage named Anne -Unsolicited dick, sexual assault, and sister-drugging -Cheating, fights, and forgiveness -Choosing love over fear and healing the world Laura does not hold back when it comes to sharing stories of screw-ups, triumphs, and learning from her mistakes. Whether she’s crying into a diaper in a Whole Foods parking lot or desperately soliciting advice from a random elderly stranger (who has most certainly considered a restraining order), Laura is able to laugh at herself even during her worst moments—more importantly, she makes us laugh, cry, and feel less alone in the world.

Download or read book Living Loaded written by Dan Dunn and published by Crown. This book was released on 2011-02-08 with total page 290 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Read the book Sammy Hagar calls "kick-ass, balls to the wall rock n roll cranked to ear-bleed levels." Many people drink, few do it professionally. My name is Dan Dunn and I consume alcohol for a living. That’s right. I get paid to run around boozing, carousing, and getting into all manner of trouble, all in the name of covering the “adult beverage beat” for one of the most iconic brands on the planet, Playboy. I hereby invite you to join me, as I conduct “revealing” hotel room interviews with porn stars in LA; go Zip Cat racing in Scotland with Stifler from American Pie; turn the notoriously posh Pebble Peach Wine Tournament into the opportunity for a 3-day bender (thank God for my trusty voice recorder); enjoy whiskey-fueled romantic encounters in alleyways behind East Village watering holes; get forcibly removed from a boxing match at a Vegas casino (thanks to an unfortunate misunderstanding involving lots of liquor, and the flag of Cuba); get dumped by my stripper/med student girlfriend (mid-lap dance, no less) simply for not being "husband material;” wake up naked on a big-shot Hollywood producer’s living room floor; and learn, the hard way, why NEVER to order an Irish car bomb in a Dublin pub. Along the way, I’ll share with you the hard-won wisdom from a life lived loaded, including how to amass a kick-ass collection of bar memorabilia, to how to be Yankee and survive bars in the sticks, to how to maintain the perfect buzz during air travel. And for those of you really serious about cocktails, I’ve even included 16 original recipes created just for this book by the world's best-known practitioners of the mixocological arts. You can thank me later. A bawdy barroom confessional that leaves no shot glass un-shot, no beer un-chugged, no potential paramour un-hit-upon, this is the most entertaining and honest book about the Drinking Life ever written. At least, ever written by me.

Download or read book The Mirror Effect written by Drew Pinsky and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2009-03-17 with total page 294 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Reality TV. Celebutantes. YouTube. Sex Tapes. Gossip Blogs. Drunk Driving. Tabloids. Drug Overdoses. Is this entertainment? Why do we keep watching? What does it mean for our kids? In the last decade, the face of entertainment has changed radically—and dangerously, as addiction specialist Dr. Drew Pinsky and business and entertainment expert Dr. S. Mark Young argue in this eye-opening new book. The soap opera of celebrity behavior we all consume on a daily basis—stories of stars treating rehab like vacation, brazen displays of abusive and self-destructive "diva" antics on TV, shocking sexual imagery in prime time and online, and a constant parade of stars crashing and burning—attracts a huge and hungry audience. As Pinsky and Young show in The Mirror Effect, however, such behavior actually points to a wide-ranging psychological dysfunction among celebrities that may be spreading to the culture at large: the condition known as narcissism. The host of VH1's Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew and of the long-running radio show Loveline, Pinsky recently teamed with Young to conduct the first-ever study of narcissism among celebrities. In the process, they discovered that a high proportion of stars suffer from traits associated with clinical narcissism—including vanity, exhibitionism, entitlement, exploitativeness, self-sufficiency, authority, and superiority. Now, in The Mirror Effect, they explore how these stars, and the media, are modeling such behavior for public consumption—and how the rest of us, especially young people, are mirroring these dangerous traits in our own behavior. Looking at phenomena as diverse as tabloid exploitation ("Stars . . . they're just like us!"), reality-TV train wrecks (from The Anna Nicole Show to My Super Sweet 16 to Bad Girls Club), gossip websites (TMZ, PerezHilton, Gawker), and the ever-evolving circle of pop divas known as celebutantes (or, more cruelly, celebutards), The Mirror Effect reveals how figures like Britney and Paris and Lindsay and Amy Winehouse—and their media enablers—have changed what we consider "normal" behavior. It traces the causes of disturbing celebrity antics to their roots in self-hatred and ultimately in childhood disconnection or trauma. And it explores how YouTube, online social networks, and personal blogs offer the temptations and dangers of instant celebrity to the most vulnerable among us. Informed and provocative, with the warm and empathetic perspective that has won Dr. Drew Pinsky legions of fans, The Mirror Effect raises important questions about our changing culture—and provides insights for parents, young people, and anyone who wonders what celebrity culture is doing to America.

Download or read book Exploiting My Baby written by Teresa Strasser and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2011-01-04 with total page 195 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Teresa Strasser made her baby a spleen and some eyebrows. He got her a book deal. Everyone loves babies-and pregnant women-so TV and radio personality Teresa Strasser decided to use this obsession to her advantage. She came up with a way to provide for her newfound family and help other mommies-to-be with this down- and-dirty memoir about first-time pregnancy. An award-winning writer, Teresa is achingly honest about the motherhood she begins experiencing at age thirty-eight. With a biting sense of humor and heart, she portrays the tribulations that come with each trimester, from nausea, weight gain, and bladder infections to dealing with those other kinds of pregnant women. (You know the ones. The ones who glow-and gloat about it.) Exploiting My Baby is a must-read for anyone pregnant, trying to get pregnant, or who is just more crazy than baby-crazy. Hopping on a trail pioneered by such lions as Laura Ingalls Wilder, Erma Bombeck, and Tori Spelling, Teresa has no problem using her pregnancy, childbirth and difficult relationship with her own mother for material. It's her blunt and plain-spoken approach to exploiting her family for literary success that sets her apart. Watch a Video

Download or read book Dump Em written by Jodyne L. Speyer and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2009-10-06 with total page 303 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Everybody has that special someone in their life that they can't wait to get rid of. Whether it's a housekeeper, a therapist, or a personal trainer, the time comes when you have to pull the plug on the relationship. Featuring personal stories, useful scripts, and interviews with experts such as Bob Harper from The Biggest Loser, funnyman Adam Carolla, and Michael Jackson's attorney, Thomas Mesereau, Dump 'Em is a practical guide for giving any bad relationship the boot. Jodyne L. Speyer provides a roadmap to finding your own way of saying "thanks, but no thanks." Written with honesty, empathy, and ruthless wit, Dump 'Em will teach you to conquer your fear of confrontation and master the art of the peaceful and permanent breakup. So what are you waiting for? Dump 'em!

Download or read book Pleased to Meet Me written by Bill Sullivan and published by National Geographic Books. This book was released on 2019-08-06 with total page 340 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Why are you attracted to a certain "type?" Why are you a morning person? Why do you vote the way you do? From a witty new voice in popular science comes a clever, life-changing look at what makes you you. "I can't believe I just said that." "What possessed me to do that?" "What's wrong with me?" We're constantly seeking answers to these fundamental human questions, and now, science has the answers. The foods we enjoy, the people we love, the emotions we feel, and the beliefs we hold can all be traced back to our DNA, germs, and environment. This witty, colloquial book is popular science at its best, describing in everyday language how genetics, epigenetics, microbiology, and psychology work together to influence our personality and actions. Mixing cutting-edge research and relatable humor, Pleased to Meet Me is filled with fascinating insights that shine a light on who we really are--and how we might become our best selves.