Download or read book Sorry We Can t Use Funny written by Barry Parham and published by PM Productions. This book was released on 2011-10-11 with total page 198 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Following the success of his first book, the 2009 sleeper, "Why I Hate Straws," online humor columnist Barry Parham delivers again. Satire at its best! Includes the award-winning stories "Actuarial Family Theater" and "Perfect!" on Fads & Fashion... In the interest of full disclosure, I admit there's an extant 1970's photo of me and a date, posing for the obligatory parental pre-prom photo. My date was gorgeous, and sane. I, on the other hand, showed up with the hair of a medieval barber. I looked like an electrocuted yak. on St. Valentine's Day... Somehow, February got this reputation as a month of romance, maybe because it's cold. Plus, football's gone and we're stuck with the wildly popular sport of bowling, where you almost never get to see any serious violence. St. Valentine's Day contains vestiges of both early Christian and ancient Roman traditions, alongside other time-honored traditions, like hot-dish picnics and mass public executions. Holiday Factoid: "vestiges" is the classical Greek plural of "vest." on Typos... A local TV station was updating the community on snowstorm-based church closings. According to the typists at the station, there was a church somewhere called St. Martyer. Imagine - an entire religious sect dedicated to turning people into Ernest Borgnine.
Download or read book How to Apologize written by David LaRochelle and published by Candlewick Press. This book was released on 2024-05-07 with total page 35 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the Theodor Seuss Geisel Award–winning creators of See the Cat: Three Stories About a Dog comes a funny and handy guide that explains just how (and how not!) to say “I’m sorry.” Wouldn’t the world be a better place if everyone knew how to apologize? Luckily, this humorous guidebook is full of practical tips about when, why, and how to say you’re sorry. From a porcupine who accidentally popped his friend’s balloon to a snail who was running so fast he stepped on a sloth’s toes, hilarious examples and sweet illustrations abound. For both listeners who are just learning and older readers who need a refresher, this book will come as a welcome reminder that even though apologizing can be hard, it doesn’t have to be complicated.
Download or read book Sorry I m Late I Didn t Want to Come written by Jessica Pan and published by Black Swan Books, Limited. This book was released on 2020-02-20 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Extroverts have all the fun. Or so Jessica Pan thought. When she found herself jobless and friendless, sitting in the familiar Jess-shaped crease on her sofa, she couldn't help but wonder what life might have looked like if she had been a little more open to new experiences and new people, a little less attached to going home instead of going to the pub. So, she made a vow - to push herself to live the life of an extrovert for a year. She wrote a list - improv, a solo holiday and... talking to strangers on the tube. She regretted it instantly. Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come follows Jess's hilarious and painful year of misadventures in extroverting, reporting back from the frontlines for all the introverts out there. But is life actually better or easier for the extroverts? Do they really have all the fun?
Download or read book Everything Is Wrong With You written by Wendy Molyneux and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2008-01-02 with total page 170 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Pretend advice about beauty, fashion and relationships for women who are pretending to care about that stuff. While other self-help books might tell you that something is wrong with you, this book is here to tell you that everything is wrong with you. In your quest for perfection, are there things you've forgotten to worry about? Like: • Are your toes weird? I'm not saying they are, but are they? • What if you think you are thin, but you actually have a vision disorder that just makes you see yourself as thin when, in fact, you are totally not thin? Think about it! • What if whenever you go out of town your boyfriend has crazy orgies at your house? And what if all your best friends come to those orgies? Of course I can't prove it, but can you disprove it? Remember, if you were OK, there wouldn't be so many books and magazines out there devoted to helping you get prettier and be more stylish. I mean, if you think that publishers are just in it for the money, then you definitely have trust issues! How can you solve them? Please purchase this book to find out. On the other hand, you could just walk out of here without this book, thinking that you are great just the way you are... and arrive home to find that your husband has left you because of your weird toes. Good luck.
Download or read book Blundering Blokes Looking for Sarah Jane Smith Girls Like Funny Boys To Dare A Future written by Dave Franklin and published by Baby Ice Dog Press. This book was released on 2011-06-03 with total page 549 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A three-novel anthology that wallows in dark, twisted humour, sexual obsession and the latent violence of the male animal. Book 1: Looking For Sarah Jane Smith Marty's living in a Welsh town he hates, doing a job he's lost interest in and so bored he can't even be bothered with sex. But a new life beckons in Australia. It's also a chance to get away from his stupid mates, the loveable loser John and the ultra-macho Wasp Boy. Maybe he'll even meet an exquisite girl like his Doctor Who heroine, Sarah Jane Smith, and live happily ever after… Looking for Sarah Jane Smith – For anyone who suspects life's a bit rubbish. Part road trip and part celebration of idiotic male friendship, Looking for Sarah Jane Smith is sure to strike a chord with those who appreciate Withnail & I, Peep Show and Bill Hicks. '...if there's one thing that stands out about this, it's how bloody funny it is. I actually packed Looking for Sarah Jane Smith for a long-haul flight and such a page-turner did it prove to be that I finished it within a couple of hours.' - Living Abroad Magazine '...A bitter, crude, but funny book... These boys are not particularly likeable, but their story is raw, honest, unsophisticated and rooted in bittersweet reality.' - Post Newspapers 'An agreeably raucous novel that touches on Dr Who and men behaving badly. Its strong language and adult scenes make it the perfect Christmas gift for that impressionable nephew.' - The West Australian Book 2: Girls Like Funny Boys Part coming of age story, part exploration of the maddening nature of dreams, Girls Like Funny Boys is a potent mix of sexual obsession, guilt and fame. "Gina crouched, resting on her haunches to continue the conversation. Her legs were too far apart. There was a hole in her black tights just above the left knee. Johnny felt a hot urge to poke a finger in it. He wished she'd leave him alone. He wished she wasn't wearing tights. He stared at her lopsided mouth and the way her fat lower lip jutted out. It was so red it bordered on purple, the colour of strawberries on the turn." Meet Johnny Goodwin. He's grown up in a quiet Brisbane suburb with loving parents, a faithful dog and an unrequited yearning for his teenage sweetheart, Angie Everson. Now in his last year at school, he's finally caught her eye by starring in a teacher-baiting pantomime. Dreams are already taking shape of a career in entertainment, perhaps with Angie by his side. All he's got to do is pass his exams, get to uni and keep away from Gina Wood, that weird girl who once let him touch her… 'Girls Like Funny Boys wasn't what I expected - and that's simply not fair as Dave Franklin's not meant to be writing to a formula. But I really didn't expect to find this as engaging, involving and quite as emotional as I did. I loved Johnny, rode the waves of his life every step of the way. Most of all I just loved this book.' - Australian Crime Fiction Book 3: To Dare A Future A van driver with abduction and murder on his mind. An eleven-year-old girl snatched on her way home from ballet. A tortured reporter, happy to use her death and the terrifying reign of a child killer to help make his name… To Dare A Future – We all have black thoughts. It's just some of us act on them. 'Don't let the rather bland title put you off – this is an impressive read, spiced with ethical dilemmas as well as earthy dialogue and humour.' – Sunday Times
Download or read book The Journal of Electrical Workers and Operators written by and published by . This book was released on 1927 with total page 698 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book Imagine Living Life Well with Perspective Perseverance written by Maureen Whitaker and published by Fulton Books, Inc.. This book was released on 2021-06-03 with total page 1201 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Book One: Imagine Living Life Well with Perspective & Perseverance Volume I: Opening & Dastardly Deeds Evil Ones Do to Create Chaos Volume II: Twisty Turns: Finding What Does & Does Not Assist Book One includes Volume I and II. It opens with a crime at a Medieval Society event with the two main characters. Anna and Liam are dealing with injuries and an attempt on Liam's life. The fighters of said event do not use ‘live steel.' Anna finds her husband and discovers he is injured. He is taken to a hospital emergency room for treatment. They talk with the Police. Many events come up once they return home and have to deal with different aspects of Law Enforcement. While in the hospital, Anna and Liam's friends create a special path in their backyard. They are able to use it to regain wellness. They find what works and follow many intuitive trails to become well again. They persevere with their situation having many discussions. The emergency room doctor is curious about their spiritual advents and an unusual injury to Anna. The doctor invites them to visit. They ask many questions, including a design of bracelets they are wearing which is a huge mystery and eventually more is known on it. Liam sets goals and begins to do much better. Not knowing if they will have to change their identity, they work on designs which may work for their Medieval Society. They work with a number of Law Enforcement agents. The have a potluck with their Medieval Society household and the reality of Liam's condition is seen. Anna and Liam's love for each other sustains them. This book leads the way to Book Two: Volumes III and IV and to Book Three: Volumes V and VI.
Download or read book Reckless and Other Plays written by Craig Lucas and published by Theatre Communications Group. This book was released on 2014-10-01 with total page 181 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This volume combines some of Craig Lucas’ best known work, including Reckless ("a bittersweet fable for our time"—Frank Rich, The New York Times) and Blue Window ("…the clarity of a Mozart quintet. And it is faultlessly spun."—Dan Sullivan, The Los Angeles Times) with his newest play, Stranger. The three plays continue the author’s exploration of the nature of relationships in an ever increasingly distant society. Craig Lucas is the author of Prelude to a Kiss, both a success on Broadway and as a motion picture, The Dying Gaul, God’s Heart, Missing Persons and Longtime Companion. He is currently at work on numerous projects for theatre and film. Also available by Craig Lucas What I Meant Was: New Plays and Selected One Acts PB $17.95 1-55936-159-X • USA Prelude to a Kiss and Other Plays PB $16.95 1-55936-193-X • USA
Download or read book English the American Way A Fun ESL Guide to Language and Culture in the U S with Embedded Audio MP3 written by Sheila MacKechnie Murtha and published by Research & Education Assoc.. This book was released on 2015-01-04 with total page 324 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: REA’s English the American Way: A Fun ESL Guide to Language and Culture in the U.S. with Embedded Audio & Mp3 Download Helps English Language Learners Improve Their Skills A fun guide to everything American for the English language learner! Authored by seasoned ESL instructors, this handy guidebook is perfect for people who already have a good grasp of English, but want to improve how they speak the language as it is spoken in the United States. Written in a lighthearted and easy-to-follow style, this book is a great resource for people of all ages and all nationalities. Each unit introduces commonly used phrases, vocabulary, and verbs, and offers sample dialogs to illustrate everyday American life. Sentence completions, quizzes, tips, and illustrations make learning fun. Individual units cover topics essential to the mosaic of American life: making friends, basic skills, driving, dining out, dealing with money, home life, emergency situations, doctor visits, handling a job interview, and more. To improve your pronunciation, listen to the embedded audio that accompanies this e-book or download the Mp3. The audio contains all the dialogues and pronunciation pointers found in the book so you can listen along and practice your speaking skills as you read. The dialogues are read by native speakers and are a great way to work on accent reduction. If you’re looking for a fun and easy way to improve your English language skills, this is the book for you!
Download or read book Dex Abby written by Allan Baker and published by Original Works Publishing. This book was released on 2023-02-28 with total page 101 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Synopsis: Sean and Corey are a young couple in a new home, navigating their relationship and an uncertain future. Their dogs, Dex and Abby, are now adjusting to the new arrangement and their own relationship dynamics. As they play with treasured toys, bicker like dogs will, and navigate new sleeping arrangements, the truths of love and loss are explored from human and canine perspectives in this heart-warming comedy. Cast Size: 3 Males, 2 Females “...For anyone who has ever been loved or owned by a dog, this new play is a must-see.” —Chicago Theatre Review
Download or read book HR Funny Side Up written by Elliott Witkin and published by Rector-Duncan. This book was released on 2005 with total page 211 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book The Girls Guide to Growing Up Great written by Sophie Elkan and published by Bloomsbury Publishing. This book was released on 2018-04-19 with total page 210 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 'Wise and kind' - Sali Hughes 'Every young teen needs this book' - Nadia Sawalha 'Brilliant, accessible, sensitive and funny' - Emily Maitlis 'Funny, kind and wise' - Daisy Buchanan ---- Going through puberty? Thinking about puberty? Worried about growing up? This book is for you! Knowledge is power! All the information you need is here, plus advice, wisdom and lots of questions from girls like you: - Body-basics (like breasts, spots and periods) - Life's big mysteries. Is how you look important? Is a crush ever wrong? Is it bad to be jealous of your friends? - Clear, empowering info on emotions, sex, sexuality and gender - Staying safe and having fun online - Plenty of space for your own notes and doodles Puberty isn't just about what's going on in your body, but also your brain, your emotions and the world around you.
Download or read book Los Morenos written by Shelley Halima and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2012-12-11 with total page 260 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: After the success of Azucar Moreno, author Shelley Halima follows up with Los Morenos, a joy-filled ride full of drama and ups and downs about cousins Nikki and Rosie Moreno. Raised together like sisters, cousins Nikki and Rosie Moreno have remained steadfastly loyal to one another through much tragedy and heartache. However, Nikki leaves Rosie in their hometown of Detroit to pursue an acting career in Los Angeles. With success and the comfort of her soul mate Mario, Nikki has it all—except for Rosie. When Rosie calls with the news that she's been selected for modeling spread, Nikki is thrilled that her cousin, and best friend, is coming to Los Angeles as well. The only question is, with newfound media attention and a fast-paced Hollywood lifestyle, will Los Angeles be big enough for the both of them? Before it is all over, one cousin will find herself hurtling toward an addiction, while the other comes face to face with her own mortality. With the tumultuous ups and downs that come when chasing a dream, Los Morenos is about the unbreakable bonds of true friendship. Featuring endearing characters and a glamorous, exciting setting, Shelly Halima delivers another fresh, heartwarming, and funny tale of two animated cousins and their intertwined lives.
Download or read book The Port of Missing Men written by Meredith Nicholson and published by Prabhat Prakashan. This book was released on 2024-09-21 with total page 242 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Discover the intrigue and mystery of Meredith Nicholson’s The Port of Missing Men, a thrilling novel set in a world of deception and hidden agendas. This suspenseful story unravels the secrets surrounding a notorious port and the enigmatic characters involved. As Nicholson weaves his tale, readers are drawn into a web of mystery where nothing is as it seems. The story centers on a series of disappearances linked to the port, with a plot that keeps readers guessing until the very end. But what dark secrets lie behind the port’s facade? Can the truth be uncovered amidst the shadows of intrigue and danger? The Port of Missing Men combines elements of suspense and adventure in a gripping narrative. Nicholson’s storytelling prowess ensures a captivating read that will keep you on the edge of your seat. Are you ready to delve into the mysteries of The Port of Missing Men?Embark on a journey filled with suspense and unexpected twists, where every revelation leads to more questions. Don’t miss the opportunity to unravel the secrets of this thrilling novel. Purchase The Port of Missing Men today and uncover the truth behind the mysterious disappearances.Get your copy of The Port of Missing Men now and immerse yourself in a tale of suspense and intrigue.
Download or read book Coast to Coast 2 Private Eyes from Sea to Shining Sea written by Paul D. Marks and published by Down & Out Books. This book was released on 2017-01-30 with total page 233 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Hardboiled. Softboiled. Noir. East Coast. West Coast. And all points in between. Whatever you call them, gumshoe, shamus, Pinkerton, detective, private eye, P.I., shadow, tail, investigator, and wherever you need them, from East to West, North to South. They’re all here. From the hard pavement of Brooklyn, New York, to the mean dusty streets of Carson City. Down to sultry New Orleans and the freak show that’s Venice, CA. From the flim-flammers of Waco, Texas to DC, Las Vegas to San Berdoo and LA. And from Iowa City to San Diego and small town North Carolina—not to mention the low-life drug dealers in a little place called King’s Quarter, Maine. No one is safe in this impressive collection featuring fourteen original private eye stories plus one previously published bonus story. Crime fiction connoisseurs will visit one major crime scene after another with some of today’s best-of-the-best crime writers serving as tour guides. Poisoned-pen masters like: J.L. Abramo, Eric Beetner, Michael Bracken, Meredith Cole, Matt Coyle, Thomas Donahue, John Floyd, Gay Toltl Kinman, Terrill Lee Lankford, Janice Law, Paul D. Marks, Andrew McAleer, O’Neil De Noux, Robert J. Randisi, Art Taylor. COAST TO COAST: PRIVATE EYES FROM SEA TO SHINING SEA features suspense stories ranging from hardboiled to psychological to thrillers. And while these stories differ in locale, climate, mood and tone, they all resonate with the dark underbelly of crime. Praise for COAST TO COAST 2 … “Tough, taut and terrific. This cross-country collection of sleuthing stories —from the best writers in the private eye biz —is wonderfully written, always surprising, and completely entertaining.” —Hank Phillippi Ryan, Anthony, Agatha and Mary Higgins Clark award-winning author of Say No More “A tantalizing array of stories guaranteed to please fans of PI fiction. High fives all around!” —MWA Grand Master Bill Pronzini on Coast to Coast: Private Eyes from Sea to Shining Sea “A bang-up read of PI fiction from a gallery of impressive authors. Coast to Coast: Private Eyes from Sea to Shining Sea is compelling, fun, and full of surprises. A treat.” —Shamus Award-winning author John Shepphird
Download or read book The Saturday Evening Post written by and published by . This book was released on 1928 with total page 830 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book Miss Blaine s Prefect and the Weird Sisters written by Olga Wojtas and published by Saraband. This book was released on 2022-03-17 with total page 258 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Never underestimate a librarian. Intelligent cosy crime with razor-sharp wit and an unlikely hero, for fans of P.G. Wodehouse and Muriel Spark "So funny." Lynne Truss Shona McMonagle is back, once again personally selected by Marcia Blaine, founder of her alma mater, the Marcia Blaine School for Girls – this time for a crucial mission involving time travel, Macbeth, the Weird Sisters and a black cat. Unsure which version of history she’s in – and fully aware of Shakespeare’s egregious inaccuracies - Shona tries to figure out who she’s here to save. But between playing the Fool and being turned into a mouse, things don’t always go her way. Shona’s expertise in martial arts is put to the test as family tensions rise and fingers are pointed for murder. Can Shona unravel the mystery in time to complete her mission? Never underestimate a librarian!
