Download or read book Teacherlaughs written by and published by Gramercy. This book was released on 2006 with total page 136 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: TeacherLaughsis filled with hilarious and witty anecdotes about teaching and learning from the preschool classroom to the college lecture hall. These selections from comedians and notable personalities including Milton Berle, Ellen Degeneres, and Robin Williams, as well as less well-known teachers and students, tackle subjects like forgotten homework, students who misbehave, and the dreaded parent-teacher conference. Award-winning professional speaker and therapeutic humor expert “Mr. Jollytologist” Allen Klein has carefully selected these lighthearted quips, quotes, and anecdotes to keep teachers, parents, and students laughing through it all. This wonderful volume will help teachers maintain patience, compassion, and, most important, a sense of humor, day in and day out, through rewarding moments and less rewarding ones, from homeroom until the dismissal bell. College professor–someone who talks in other people’s sleep. Bergen Evans Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra. Fran Lebowitz When a teacher calls a boy by his entire name, it means trouble. Mark Twain

Download or read book Worklaughs written by Allen Klein and published by Gramercy. This book was released on 2006 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: WorkLaughsis full of hilarious and witty anecdotes about making a living. These selections from comedians and notable personalities including Milton Berle, Paula Poundstone, and Jerry Seinfeld as well as lesser-known colleagues of the daily grind explore the funny side of many aspects of the workplace– including going on a job interview, sitting through meetings, calling in sick, dealing with the boss, retiring, and much more. Award-winning professional speaker and therapeutic humor expert “Mr. Jollytologist” Allen Klein has carefully selected these lighthearted quips, quotes, and anecdotes to keep workers laughing even on the hardest days. From salespeople to construction workers to doctors to those climbing the corporate ladder, this hilarious volume is perfect for everyone who’s trying to make a buck. Donuts: the only non-negotiable element to a successful meeting. Joe Heuer After the ship has sunk, a consultant knows how it might have been saved. Newt Hielscher I love working for myself; it's so empowering. Except when I call in sick. I always know when I'm lying. Rita Rudner The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you’re on the job. Slappy White

Download or read book I Shouldn t Even Be Doing This written by Bob Newhart and published by Hachette Books. This book was released on 2006-09-19 with total page 216 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The first book ever from an icon of American comedy -- a hilarious combination of stories from his career and observations about life That stammer. Those basset-hound eyes. That bone-dry wit. There has never been another comedian like Bob Newhart. His comedy albums, movies, and two hit television series have made him a national treasure and placed him firmly in the pantheon of comedy legends. Who else has a drinking game named after him And now, at last, Newhart puts his brilliant and hysterical world view on paper. Never a punch-line comic, always more of a storyteller, he tells anecdotes from throughout his life and career, including his beginnings as an accountant and the groundbreaking success of his comedy albums and The Bob Newhart Show and Newhart, which gave him fifteen years on primetime television. And he also gives his wry, comedic twist to a multitude of topics, including golf, drinking, and family holidays. Today, Newhart appears on Desperate Housewives, in hit movies such as Elf, and in theaters around the country. Reruns of his shows air constantly on Nick at Nite -- have recently been released with great success for the first time ever on DVD. With this book, Bob Newhart gives his millions of fans a first ever opportunity to sample his unique brand of humor -- including excerpts from some of his classic routines -- on the printed page.

Download or read book Quips Quotes and Quanta written by Anton Z. Capri and published by World Scientific. This book was released on 2011 with total page 252 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When a ship's surgeon during a routine episode of bloodletting noticed that the sailors' blood was brighter in the tropics than in the north, he hypothesized that heat was a form of energy. When a young boy tried to visualize how a beam of light would look like by riding alongside it at the same speed, he began thinking along lines that eventually changed our views of space and time. When a student caught hay fever and went to recover on Heligoland, he started a major revolution in physics. These are but just some of the stories covered in this entertaining book that deals with the history of physics from the end of the 19th-century to about 1930. Quips, Quotes and Quanta (2nd Edition) is unique in that it contains anecdotes on physicists creating new ideas. Often the thinking of the creators of what is now called "modern physics" is revealed through quotes. Thematic and biographical in nature, this book also includes many personal incidents. This second edition has been revised to include new material: a prologue, epilogue, glossary and chronology, and photograph's as well as additional quotes and anecdotes.

Download or read book Quips Quotes And Quanta An Anecdotal History Of Physics 2nd Edition written by Anton Z Capri and published by World Scientific Publishing Company. This book was released on 2011-05-31 with total page 252 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When a ship's surgeon during a routine episode of bloodletting noticed that the sailors' blood was brighter in the tropics than in the north, he hypothesized that heat was a form of energy.When a young boy tried to visualize what a beam of light would look like by riding alongside it at the same speed, he began thinking along lines that eventually changed our views of space and time.When a student caught hay fever and went to recover on Heligoland, he started a major revolution in physics. These are but just some of the stories covered in this entertaining book that deals with the history of physics from the end of the 19th-century to about 1930.Quips, Quotes and Quanta (2nd Edition) is unique in that it contains anecdotes on physicists creating new ideas. Often the thinking of the creators of what is now called “modern physics” is revealed through quotes. Thematic and biographical in nature, this book also includes many personal incidents.This second edition has been revised to include new material: a prologue, epilogue, glossary and chronology, and photographs as well as additional quotes and anecdotes.

Download or read book Lead from the Front written by Jim Lipuma and published by CreateSpace. This book was released on 2014-04-02 with total page 224 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: What does it take to rise above in today's highly competitive workplace? What will bring you more satisfaction in the hours spent outside of the office? Thirty-year corporate leader Jim Lipuma has learned that many of the measures he implemented in order to build a strong team at work proved equally beneficial in his personal life. Lipuma shares a wealth of his most effective strategies for success in an easy-to-read resource that can change the way you lead your team—and your life. Lead From The Front: 101 Leadership Quips, Quotes And Anecdotes That Will Impact Your Career And Your Life will help you steer clear of the pitfalls, and seize the opportunities that abound in any leadership position. Its real-world approach to management gives you the tools you need to gain allegiance, build trust and confidence, and achieve breakthrough results for a crucial professional edge. From the power of “we” to a firm “no jerks” policy, Lipuma's arsenal of hard-won tactics will ensure that your workplace is rewarding, exhilarating, and fulfilling. Take a page from this invaluable book, and you will watch your world transform from on the clock to off the charts.

Download or read book Oxford Dictionary of Humorous Quotations written by Ned Sherrin and published by Oxford University Press, USA. This book was released on 2008-09-25 with total page 574 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This hilarious collection of humorous quotations, full of wisecracks and wit, snappy comments and inspired fantasy, has been specially compiled by the late broadcaster and raconteur Ned Sherrin, with a foreword by leading British satirist, Alistair Beaton. Now packed with even more quotes and covering more subjects than before, from Weddings to the Supernatural, Australia to Headlines. Find the best lines from your favourite jokesters and wordsmiths, add that extra something to a speech or presentation, or just enjoy a good laugh. 'A chair is a piece of furniture. I am not a chair because no one has ever sat on me.' Ann Widdecombe on the announcement that Parliamentary language will now be gender-neutral. 'No wonder Bob Geldof is such an expert on famine. He's been feeding off 'I don't like Mondays' for 30 years.' Russell Brand On deciding to run for governor of California: 'The most difficult decision I've ever made in my entire life, except for the one in 1978 when I decided to get a bikini wax.' Arnold Schwarzenegger 'Wanting to know an author because you like his work is like wanting to know a duck because you like p--acirc--;t--eacute--;.' Margaret Atwood 'I am so sorry. We have to stop there. I have just come to the end of my personality.' Quentin Crisp, closing down an interview

Download or read book The Book of Poisonous Quotes written by and published by McGraw Hill Professional. This book was released on 1993-09 with total page 368 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The creative arts. Literature. Drama film. Music. The media. Education.

Download or read book Dick Enberg s Humorous Quotes for All Occasions written by Dick Enberg and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2000-10 with total page 260 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Pearls of wisdom and downright funny lines are bountiful in Dick Enberg's Humorous Quotes for All Occasions. Public speaking tops the list of things people fear most--above fear of snakes, falling, or even death. But Dick Enberg has the antidote. With 28 general subjects to choose from, you're bound to find just the right line to loosen your tongue and break the ice on any occasion. As baby boomers increasingly are faced with occasion for public speaking--graduations, weddings, retirement parties, anniversaries of all sorts--Dick Enberg's book will no doubt become the book of choice. Laced with humorous personal anecdotes about Enberg's own public speaking experiences throughout the years, the book is both an entertaining read and a resource of humorous material for specific occasions. It also includes technical tips on how to quickly and efficiently put together a successful humorous talk. Dick Enberg's Humorous Quotes for All Occasions will pave the way toward making the speaker and his or her audience perfectly at ease and ready for a good time.

Download or read book Dad s Wit written by Richard Benson and published by Hachette UK. This book was released on 2010-09-06 with total page 207 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 'Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope' - Bill Cosby When your precious offspring have hijacked the car and there's a hole in your wallet the size of the Grand Canyon, kick back and relax with this hilarious book, crammed full of quips and quotes to remind you of why being a dad is the best job in the world.

Download or read book Absolute Zero Gravity written by Betsy Devine and published by Touchstone. This book was released on 1992 with total page 168 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book Witty Words from Wise Women written by Barbara J. Gallagher Hateley and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2001 with total page 150 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Where do women find inspiration' Often in the words of those who've been there. From creativity to careers, relationships to success, Sassy Wit from Savvy Women provides a collection of quotes, one-liners, and colorful anecdotes that showcase the best and brightest female minds. Sassy Wit isn't just about inspiration, however. This book has attitude with a capital A. I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch. -Gilda RadnerI love the male body, it's better designed than the male mind. -Andrea NewmanIf you do things well, do them better. Be daring, be first, be different, be just. -Anita Roddick The gutsy, no-holds-barred tone creates a keepsake that's certain to make readers laugh, cry, and identify.

Download or read book Ronald Reagan Quotes and Quips written by David Stanford Burr and published by Wellfleet Press. This book was released on 2015-10-09 with total page 180 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Enjoy this collection of Reagan's greatest stories, quotes, and jokes from his presidency. Perfect for any fan of politics or great presidents.

Download or read book The Comedy Thesaurus written by Judy Brown and published by . This book was released on 2005 with total page 480 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Every book of "humorous quotations" features the same tired one-liners from dead white males like Oscar Wilde and Mark Twain until now. "The Comedy Thesaurus" features more than three thousand quips from the funniest people on the planet everyone from Margaret Cho and Conan O'Brien to Eddie Murphy and Lewis Black. Arranged A to Z by subject (accidents, aging, alcohol, etc.) and thoroughly cross-referenced, it's chock-full of hilarious observations. On politics: "You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: It wasn't that long ago that we were swept away by the Macarena." Jon Stewart On shopping: "Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to, and the one white people used to go to." Chris Rock On sex: "Engaged women have sex 2.9 times a week. And the .9 is really frustrating." Jay Leno And that's just the beginning. Full of laugh-out-loud remarks from the most popular comedians on the planet, "The Comedy Thesaurus" is a terrific resource for writers, speakers, fans of stand-up comedy, and anyone who appreciates a good joke.

Download or read book Great Presidential Wit written by Robert J. Dole and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2001 with total page 250 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The former senator and presidential candidate collects bipartisan presidential humor from famous, and not-so-famous, chief executives, from Washington to Clinton.

Download or read book Too Funny to be President written by Morris K. Udall and published by . This book was released on 2001 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "With a bumper crop of presidential candidates surfacing, I have concluded that a plague of presidentialitis has swept the nation. Speaking from experience, I must remind all these worthy contenders that once this dreaded disease-- whose symptoms include delusions of grandeur and an urge to make repeated visits to Iowa-- gets into a man's bloodstream, it can only be cured by embalming fluid." --Mo UdallMorris "Mo" Udall, Arizona's Democratic congressman for thirty years, was as well known for his sense of humor as for his dedication to environmental causes. And it was during his 1976 campaign for the Democratic presidential nomination, when he claims he drew more laughter than votes, that James K. Kilpatrick pronounced him "too funny to be president."Udall kept four black notebooks of jokes that he had collected throughout his public life. Some he heard in the courtroom or on the floor of the House; others he found in old speeches and newspaper articles; still others he swiped on the rubber-chicken circuit. This book, a memoir of Udall's career, collects many of those jokes to create a citizen's guide to the lighter side of politics."After due deliberation and two stiff drinks," Udall writes, "I decided to go ahead and write this book because I'm convinced that humor is as necessary to the health of our political discourse as it is in our private lives." Too Funny To Be President is a testament to the Udall spirit--and an example to all who would win the public's heart.

Download or read book Jokes Quotes Anecdotes written by and published by Xulon Press. This book was released on with total page 226 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: