Download or read book Would Everybody Please Stop written by Jenny Allen and published by Macmillan + ORM. This book was released on 2017-06-06 with total page 201 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Finalist for the Thurber Prize for American Humor "One of the funniest writers in America." That’s what The New Yorker’s Andy Borowitz calls Jenny Allen—and with good reason. In her debut essay collection, the longtime humorist and performer declares no subject too sacred, no boundary impassable. With her eagle eye for the absurd and hilarious, Allen reports from the potholes midway through life’s journey. One moment she’s flirting shamelessly—and unsuccessfully—with a younger man at a wedding; the next she’s stumbling upon X-rated images on her daughter’s computer. She ponders the connection between her ex-husband’s questions about the location of their silverware, and the divorce that came a year later. While undergoing chemotherapy, she experiments with being a “wig person.” And she considers those perplexing questions that we never pause to ask: Why do people say “It is what it is”? What’s the point of fat-free half-and-half ? And haven’t we heard enough about memes? Jenny Allen’s musings range fluidly from the personal to the philosophical. She writes with the familiarity of someone telling a dinner party anecdote, forgoing decorum for candor and comedy. To read Would Everybody Please Stop? is to experience life with imaginative and incisive humor.

Download or read book Hyperbole and a Half written by Allie Brosh and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2013-10-29 with total page 288 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: #1 New York Times Bestseller “Funny and smart as hell” (Bill Gates), Allie Brosh’s Hyperbole and a Half showcases her unique voice, leaping wit, and her ability to capture complex emotions with deceptively simple illustrations. FROM THE PUBLISHER: Every time Allie Brosh posts something new on her hugely popular blog Hyperbole and a Half the internet rejoices. This full-color, beautifully illustrated edition features more than fifty percent new content, with ten never-before-seen essays and one wholly revised and expanded piece as well as classics from the website like, “The God of Cake,” “Dogs Don’t Understand Basic Concepts Like Moving,” and her astonishing, “Adventures in Depression,” and “Depression Part Two,” which have been hailed as some of the most insightful meditations on the disease ever written. Brosh’s debut marks the launch of a major new American humorist who will surely make even the biggest scrooge or snob laugh. We dare you not to. FROM THE AUTHOR: This is a book I wrote. Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative—like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it—but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book: Pictures Words Stories about things that happened to me Stories about things that happened to other people because of me Eight billion dollars* Stories about dogs The secret to eternal happiness* *These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness!

Download or read book Time Management Ninja written by Craig Jarrow and published by Mango Media Inc.. This book was released on 2019-09-15 with total page 150 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “This book will help you own your calendar, block time for what matters most and reclaim your life.” —Paula Rizzo, author of Listful Living: A List-Making Journey to a Less Stressed You You want more time to spend with family, to achieve big goals, and to simply enjoy life. Yet, there seem to be more and more things competing for your time, and more distractions interrupting your day. Craig Jarrow has spent many years testing time management tactics, tools, and systems and written hundreds of articles on productivity, goals, and organization, Through it all he’s learned a simple truth: Time management should be easy, not complicated and unwieldy. And it shouldn’t take up more of your precious time than it gives back! Time Management Ninja offers 21 rules that will show you an easier and more effective way to take control of your time and manage your busy life. Follow these simple principles and get more done with less effort. It’s no-stress, uncomplicated time management that works. “Read this book, apply its rules, and you’ll find freedom.” —Hyrum Smith, bestselling author of Purposeful Retirement

Download or read book Please Stop Helping Us written by Jason L. Riley and published by Encounter Books. This book was released on 2016-01-05 with total page 215 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Why is it that so many efforts by liberals to lift the black underclass not only fail, but often harm the intended beneficiaries? In Please Stop Helping Us, Jason L. Riley examines how well-intentioned welfare programs are in fact holding black Americans back. Minimum-wage laws may lift earnings for people who are already employed, but they price a disproportionate number of blacks out of the labor force. Affirmative action in higher education is intended to address past discrimination, but the result is fewer black college graduates than would otherwise exist. And so it goes with everything from soft-on-crime laws, which make black neighborhoods more dangerous, to policies that limit school choice out of a mistaken belief that charter schools and voucher programs harm the traditional public schools that most low-income students attend. In theory these efforts are intended to help the poor—and poor minorities in particular. In practice they become massive barriers to moving forward. Please Stop Helping Us lays bare these counterproductive results. People of goodwill want to see more black socioeconomic advancement, but in too many instances the current methods and approaches aren’t working. Acknowledging this is an important first step.

Download or read book Please Stop Laughing at Us Revised Edition written by Jodee Blanco and published by BenBella Books. This book was released on 2011-09-06 with total page 506 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: As a sequel to the New York Times bestseller Please Stop Laughing at Me..., the 2007 release of Jodee Blanco's Please Stop Laughing at Us... received deserved attention for demanding an end to school bullying once and for all, and for supplying parents, educators, and targeted students with the tools and skills needed to do so. In this 2011 revised edition, Please Stop Laughing at Us...One Woman's Inspirational Story Continues includes the same powerful message that Blanco is respected and known for, with new material, including strategy guides for parents and educators, new material, including a Q&A for parents and educators, updated information on university bullying in light of recent news events, and a touching epilogue. Please Stop Laughing at Us...is the story of America's rejected and bullied students from the perspective of the one person with unprecedented access to the truth about what's going on in our schools. Blanco exposes both the strengths and vulnerabilities of a nation too clouded by rhetoric and self-defense to understand what really needs to be done.

Download or read book Please Stop Saying That written by Stephen H. Provost and published by Dragon Crown Books. This book was released on 2018-10-15 with total page 204 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Have you ever wanted to plug your ears and scream after hearing a newscaster, politician, sports announcer or your boss use THAT word again? You know the one: that buzzword or cliche that sets your teeth on edge because you've heard it so often? It doesn't really mean anything. It's just there. On people's lips. In the newspaper. On television. Everywhere, all the time. Well, chances are, it's here, too, in this irreverent look at some of the things people say far too often while giving them far too little thought. Consider this book your last line of defense against the banal inanities that assault your ears on a daily basis. Its purpose is to poke fun at them, which is really all most of them are good for: poking fun at. "Please Stop Saying That!" is a no-holds-barred, sarcastic look at the catch phrases used in politics, religion, sports, business, pop culture and elsewhere. You'll never look at (or listen to) jargon quite the same way again.

Download or read book Wuthering Heights written by Emily Bronte and published by Library of Alexandria. This book was released on 2020-09-28 with total page 469 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Wuthering Heights is the name of Mr. HeathcliffÕs dwelling. ÔWutheringÕ being a significant provincial adjective, descriptive of the atmospheric tumult to which its station is exposed in stormy weather. Pure, bracing ventilation they must have up there at all times, indeed: one may guess the power of the north wind blowing over the edge, by the excessive slant of a few stunted firs at the end of the house; and by a range of gaunt thorns all stretching their limbs one way, as if craving alms of the sun. Happily, the architect had foresight to build it strong: the narrow windows are deeply set in the wall, and the corners defended with large jutting stones. Before passing the threshold, I paused to admire a quantity of grotesque carving lavished over the front, and especially about the principal door; above which, among a wilderness of crumbling griffins and shameless little boys, I detected the date Ô1500,Õ and the name ÔHareton Earnshaw.Õ I would have made a few comments, and requested a short history of the place from the surly owner; but his attitude at the door appeared to demand my speedy entrance, or complete departure, and I had no desire to aggravate his impatience previous to inspecting the penetralium. One stop brought us into the family sitting-room, without any introductory lobby or passage: they call it here Ôthe houseÕ pre-eminently. It includes kitchen and parlour, generally; but I believe at Wuthering Heights the kitchen is forced to retreat altogether into another quarter: at least I distinguished a chatter of tongues, and a clatter of culinary utensils, deep within; and I observed no signs of roasting, boiling, or baking, about the huge fireplace; nor any glitter of copper saucepans and tin cullenders on the walls. One end, indeed, reflected splendidly both light and heat from ranks of immense pewter dishes, interspersed with silver jugs and tankards, towering row after row, on a vast oak dresser, to the very roof. The latter had never been under-drawn: its entire anatomy lay bare to an inquiring eye, except where a frame of wood laden with oatcakes and clusters of legs of beef, mutton, and ham, concealed it. Above the chimney were sundry villainous old guns, and a couple of horse-pistols: and, by way of ornament, three gaudily-painted canisters disposed along its ledge. The floor was of smooth, white stone; the chairs, high-backed, primitive structures, painted green: one or two heavy black ones lurking in the shade. In an arch under the dresser reposed a huge, liver-coloured bitch pointer, surrounded by a swarm of squealing puppies; and other dogs haunted other recesses.

Download or read book Please Stop Trying to Leave Me written by Alana Saab and published by Vintage. This book was released on 2024-06-25 with total page 417 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An "engrossing, affecting, and singular" (Publishers Weekly) debut novel about love, family, queerness, and losing your mind in the modern world. While god is sending her signs through Instagram and Spotify demanding she break up with her girlfriend, Norma meets with a new therapist for one reason: she really needs to write again. With only one chapter missing in her manuscript, Norma is desperate to know if she needs to leave her girlfriend in order to write The Last Story. The new therapist diagnoses Norma with Depersonalization/Derealization Disorder, but Norma isn’t having it. It’s just Oblivion. Haunted by SSRI side effects and life becoming less hazily fictional by the day, Norma has never felt crazier. Does anyone else see the world’s poorly crafted plotline? Like, who even wrote this story? Norma begins sharing her manuscript with her therapist, hoping to connect the dissociative dots once and for all—or at least enough so that Google ads stop giving her panic attacks. But soon Norma is questioning everything she’s ever believed about life, writing, and love. And then there’s Norma’s girlfriend, the one with a crack of light in her eyes. Could she be Oblivion’s antagonist, the manuscript’s savior? Or is she just a human? Told alternately through Norma's barely fictional fiction and her crackling stream of consciousness, Please Stop Trying To Leave Me is an honest, comedic, horrifying, and heart-wrenching story about existing in today’s world, challenging all we’ve been taught about the distance between fiction and reality, sanity and insanity, mental illness and healing.

Download or read book Messenger written by Lillian Duncan and published by Pelican Ventures Book Group. This book was released on 2024-07-05 with total page 148 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Life is perfect in NewAmerica: No crime; No poverty; No war; No discrimination; Everyone is equal. Life is perfect until the moment you wonder... is there a God? Magdalena Denton is an unlikely messenger. She' s grown up in the godless world of NewAm where even saying the name of Jesus is a crime. But Magdalena feels honor-bound to fulfill a dying woman's wish. And when she does, she finds that when God has a message, He always finds a messenger.

Download or read book Please Stop Laughing at Me written by Jodee Blanco and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2022-04-19 with total page 320 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "In this timely update of the seminal classic, author and activist Jodee Blanco reveals how she simply set out to share her story-and ended up igniting a grassroots movement in the nation's schools. The first survivor of school bullying to look back on those experiences as an adult, Jodee brings you up to speed on her life and work since the book's initial release with a new chapter, all-new Letter to My Readers, and Reader's Guide. She also offers the latest information on digital and cyberbullying, the Adult Survivor of Peer Abuse, her in-school antibullying program, INJJA (It's NOT Just Joking Around!), and provides discussion questions for schools. While other children were daydreaming about dances, first kisses, and college, Jodee Blanco was trying to figure out how to go from homeroom to study hall without being taunted or spit upon as she walked through the halls. This powerful, unforgettable memoir chronicles how one child was shunned-and even physically abused-by her classmates from elementary school through high school. It is an unflinching look at what it means to be the outcast, how even the most loving parents can get it all wrong, why schools are often unable to prevent disaster, and how bullying has been misunderstood and mishandled by the mental health community"--

Download or read book Life s Songs of a Born Superstar written by Wylanda (Indika) Blanding and published by iUniverse. This book was released on 2012-03-09 with total page 77 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The life of aspiring entertainer growing up in South Carolina. Struggles and trials do not have to define us, but it can make us stronger. It doesn't matter how many times we fall, but how many times we get up and keep on trying. This book allows you to take a walk in my shoes and see how I over come some of my obstacles. My love for music and dance and how it saved me when I had nothing else to turn to. The love of a strong minded mother, to broken hearts, empty promises, and loneliness. From romance, true friends, the wrong friends, roads of distruction, to roads of success. Also, my personal thoughts on real men and learning from the past so you can have a brighter future.

Download or read book The Woman who Destroyed Christmas written by M J Hardy and published by S J Crabb. This book was released on 2023-11-01 with total page 202 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A perfect pre-Christmas read. Dark and twisted, a must for fans of psychological thrillers. Behind the beautifully decorated doors, not every Christmas is destined to be merry and bright. How far would you go to protect your daughter? When Alice Adams met her daughter’s boyfriend, she was far from impressed. He was everything she didn’t want for her little girl and so decided to give fate a helping hand. Luckily, they were invited to spend Christmas with his family which was just the opportunity she needed. Three days to ruin their relationship and save her daughter from a lifetime of regrets. However, Alice has secrets she hopes her daughter will never discover. In interfering with fate, she unlocks the past with devastating consequences. There are more than presents under this Christmas tree and as they unwrap the past, the future will never be the same again. As the snow falls and the sleigh bells ring, this will be one Christmas they will all want to forget. Alice Adams thought she was prepared this Christmas – she was wrong.

Download or read book Forever in These Pages written by Meghna, and published by Sristhi Publishers & Distributors. This book was released on 2013-02 with total page 192 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Do you believe some things are meant to happen? Meet Aleah, a romantic at heart who lives in a world of practicality. she is happy in her current relationship with Jeremy and excited to take it to the next level, only to find he rself at a crossroad when she meets Rohan. Why does this growing friendship with Rohan make Aleah question her feelings and beliefs about Jeremy? Will Aleah find the answer she is looking for or will she lose herself in the tussle? Pulled between the order in her head and chaos in her heart, Aleah learns that it’s the small things that really matter.Even though relationships get complicated, love is always simple.

Download or read book The Gifted Kids Survival Guide EasyRead Large Bold Edition written by and published by ReadHowYouWant.com. This book was released on with total page 210 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book Pastor June written by Rev. Lee M. Sapp and published by Nivrah Books. This book was released on 2012-12-28 with total page 309 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When Cecily Reardon is found murdered with unusual circumstances the evidence leads Veteran Detective Mario Grimes to St. Mark Church and his one true love. Pastor June Harris, formerly a very talented police detective who left the police force to pursue her call in the ministry. The first female and youngest pastor ever appointed to St. Mark Church, her arrival was met with much opposition from the congregation but now six years later these same people are her main supporters. They became her only family and she was happier than she had been in a long time. Then when Detective Grimes, her old police partner and the only man she ever allowed herself to love, appeared at St. Mark seeking her help to solve the murder of one of her former church members, it forced her to reflect on the darkest time of her life. She last saw him years earlier on the night before they were to be married but he left her at the altar and married someone else without so much as a phone call. After years of resentment, and hurt is she able to help solve Cecily's murder with the one man who hurt her the most? Will she ever allow her heart to love again or will she stay solely devoted to the church family she's grown to love?

Download or read book Please Stop I Don t Like That written by Sandy Ragona and published by . This book was released on 2006 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book Cursed Blood written by Amber Rigby Grosjean and published by Amber Rigby Grosjean. This book was released on 2007-02 with total page 103 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Cursed Blood is based on the experiences of a woman who must deal with a demonic curse. Born with the curse, she has learned that running away from everyone, including herself, is the only way people can survive on her birthday. This was until the day Donna met Jack Green, F.B.I. He claims there is a cure and the bureau has it. Will the cure be what Donna is looking for to end her misery? Will the cure work? And how will her new relationship with Jack be affected if it doesnt work?