Download or read book Oh Crap I Think I Shat Myself written by True Stories Told by Jay Bouchard and published by . This book was released on 2007-05-01 with total page 56 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Years of the frustrating inability to control intestinal urges because of a recently discovered food allergy have put me in some embarrassing and unusual predicaments. There have been times when I have or nearly have had accidents in my pants. I have been forced to use nature and any form of a working plumbing system, regardless of condition, location or cleanliness. After many years of sharing these stories, a friend of mine inspired me to write and publish them as he thought others would enjoy them as much as he did. These are true stories and they have not been embellished. Some people, although their names are not mentioned in this book, were not aware of the circumstances that had transpired. I have compiled the best stories, from grade school to adulthood, that have been told over the years. Many of you like me may have been in these types of situations before, but have never told...until now. In one of the stories, an incident occurred while traveling to an exposition in Massachusetts that my wife and I frequent every year. The year after the incident, we saw the t-shirt, the one I am wearing on the cover of this book, at the Vermont Flannel store and I had to have it. It stands for Protest Outrageous Oil Profits. If you are interested in ordering the t-shirt, please visit www.poopdood.com.
Download or read book Oh Crap Potty Training written by Jamie Glowacki and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2015-06-16 with total page 167 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From potty-training expert and social worker Jamie Glowacki, who’s already helped over half a million families successfully toilet train their preschoolers, comes a newly revised and updated guide that’s “straight-up, parent-tested, and funny to boot” (Amber Dusick, author of Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures). Worried about potty training? Let Jamie Glowacki, potty-training expert, show you how it’s done. Her six-step, proven process to get your toddler out of diapers and onto the toilet has already worked for tens of thousands of kids and their parents. Here’s the good news: your child is probably ready to be potty trained EARLIER than you think (ideally, between 20–30 months), and it can be done FASTER than you expect (most kids get the basics in a few days—but Jamie’s got you covered even if it takes a little longer). If you’ve ever said to yourself: -How do I know if my kid is ready? -Why won’t my child poop in the potty? -How do I avoid “potty power struggles”? -How can I get their daycare provider on board? -My kid was doing so well—why is he regressing? -And what about nighttime?! Oh Crap! Potty Training can solve all of these (and other) common issues. This isn’t theory, you’re not bribing with candy, and there are no gimmicks. This is real-world, from-the-trenches potty training information—all the questions and all the answers you need to do it once and be done with diapers for good.
Download or read book Oh Crap I Have a Toddler written by Jamie Glowacki and published by Gallery Books. This book was released on 2019-06-04 with total page 304 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Real-world, from-the-trenches toddler parenting advice from the author of the bestselling Oh Crap! Potty Training. Toddlers—commonly defined as children aged between two and five years old—can be a horribly misunderstood bunch. What most parents view as bad behavior is in fact just curious behavior. Toddlerdom is the age of individuation, seeking control, and above all, learning how the world works. But this misunderstanding between parents and child can lead to power struggles, tantrums, and even diminished growth and creativity. The recent push of early intellectualism coupled with a desire to “make childhood magical” has created a strange paradox—we have three-year-olds with math and Mandarin tutors who don’t know how to dress themselves and are sitting in their own poop. We are pushing the toddler mind beyond its limit but simultaneously keeping them far below their own natural capabilities. In the frank, funny, and totally authentic Oh Crap! I Have a Toddler, social worker Jamie Glowacki helps parents work through what she considers the five essential components of raising toddlers: —Engaging the toddler mind —Working with the toddler body —Understanding and dealing with the toddler behavior —Creating a good toddler environment —You, the parent Oh Crap! I Have a Toddler is about doing more with less—and bringing real childhood back from the brink of over-scheduled, over-stimulated, helicopter parenting. With her signature down-and-dirty, friend-to-friend advice, Jamie is here to help you experience the joy of parenting again and giving your child—and yourself—the freedom to let them grow at their own pace and become who they are.
Download or read book Figuring Shit Out written by Amy Biancolli and published by Behler Publications, LLC. This book was released on 2014-09-29 with total page 210 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Your life isn't over." My dad says this. "I mean, YOUR life isn't over. Beyond the kids. You'll go on living, doing things. This isn't it." I know, I assure him. I have the kids. They need me. They're my life now. "OK," he replies, then grunts—more of a brief hum. He only hums when he thinks I'm full of shit. Shockingly single. Amy Biancolli's life went off script more dramatically than most after her husband of twenty years jumped off the roof of a parking garage. Left with three children, a three-story house, and a pile of knotty psychological complications, Amy realizes the flooding dishwasher, dead car battery, rapidly growing lawn, basement sump pump, and broken doorknob aren't going to fix themselves. She also realizes that "figuring shit out" means accepting the horrors that came her way, rolling with them, slogging through them, helping others through theirs, and working her way through life with love and laughter. Amy Biancolli is an author and journalist whose column appears in the Albany Times Union. Before that, Amy served as film critic for the Houston Chronicle where her reviews, published around the country, won her the 2007 Comment and Criticism Award from the Texas Associated Press Managing Editors Association. Biancolli is the author of House of Holy Fools: A Family Portrait in Six Cracked Parts, which earned her Albany Author of the Year. Amy lives in Albany, New York, with her three children.
Download or read book When Poop Gets Stuck written by Nathan Cameron and published by . This book was released on 2020-04-24 with total page 33 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Everybody poops, and every child has weird, wild, and hilarious adventures with poop. Join Timmy and his family in one of the funniest stories as they encounter ridiculous, disgusting, epic turds that just will not move! This is the perfect children's book to combat the crushing news we receive every day. We don't need a teaching book right now. What we need is the sound of laughter, and smiles all around. This is the bedtime story that will put a smile on your child's face every night!
Download or read book I Nearly Shit Myself Books 1 4 written by Joe KING and published by Andrew M Molloy. This book was released on with total page 188 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: I Nearly Shit Myself #1. Do you believe in ghosts? Bill End doesn't, but as his first night back as a Security Guard, he soon realises they are real, VERY real. Not only are they out to scare him, but they are also out to take his mind, body and soul. Will he make it through the night, with his sanity and soul intact? Or will he become something else! With randy ghost William Moorcock on his back, ANYTHING is possible! I Nearly Shit Myself #2. A chemical leak has led to a strange creature growing in the sewers and is now seeking human flesh to reproduce. When people start to go missing in very unusual circumstances, the case is given to detective Mack McKenzie & his new sidekick Steve. Something weird is happening to the people of the city, and they soon realise they will have to go down the sewers to find out what is killing all of them. Will they find out who, and what, is causing them to disappear? Or will it all just get flushed down the pan! I Nearly Shit Myself #3. When alcoholic scientist Joel discovers a new serum, he soon discovers it not only has the power to make him a monster in bed, but it also has a side effort so horrific, it makes his life a living nightmare! As his drinking gets out of control, so does his life and unknowing to him, he is killing people. With his time running out, will he live long enough to find a way out of this horror story he has created for himself? Or will he just have to accept, the serum he has taken was never going to have a happy ending! I Nearly Shit Myself #4. When Ben and his girlfriend decide to go for a naughty weekend away at a disused reservoir. They should have heeded the warning sign. KEEP OUT. NO SWIMMING. After their weekend is cut short, and they return home, the real horror begins! The, I Nearly Shit Myself, series are now being published under new titles with alternative endings.
Download or read book Poo Poo Bum Bum Wee Wee written by Steven Cowell and published by Penguin UK. This book was released on 2021-08-05 with total page 36 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Poo poo, bum bum, wee wee - I sing my toilet song. Poo poo, bum bum, wee wee - I sing it all day long! Encourage toddlers and young children to use the toilet confidently with this hilarious rhyming picture book! Featuring bright, friendly illustrations and a very catchy rhyme, this fun picture book has been written in consultation with parents to break down all the stages of using the toilet into easy steps, from how to wipe to handwashing. This book will help take the stress and worry out of toilet training, as children can sing the song and learn to use the toilet without fear or fuss!
Download or read book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F ck written by Mark Manson and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2016-09-13 with total page 197 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: #1 New York Times Bestseller Over 10 million copies sold In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people. For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up. Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek. There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.
Download or read book 50 Ways to Support Your Child s Special Education written by Terri Mauro and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2009-06-18 with total page 167 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: More than six million students in the U.S. receive special education services and that number is on the rise. Frequent changes in educational philosophy and special-education law have made it increasingly difficult for parents to establish an appropriate education plan for their children. This book looks at the many ways that parents can advocate for their children. including how to: Communicate with teachers Get homework done Become involved at school Ensure their children are well rested Start a school day on the right foot Advocacy comes in all forms, and sometimes itÆs as simple as helping people get to know their child and family in a positive way. This useful book will serve as an invaluable tool for parents looking to establish the best educational plan for their children.
Download or read book Man UNcivilized written by Traver Boehm and published by . This book was released on 2018-08-17 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This is the guidebook for the newly emerging paradigm of masculinity. One that includes and celebrates both the primal and divine aspects of men.
Download or read book Tenth of December written by George Saunders and published by A&C Black. This book was released on 2013-01-03 with total page 289 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The prize-winning, New York Times bestselling short story collection from the internationally bestselling author of Lincoln in the Bardo 'The best book you'll read this year' New York Times 'Dazzlingly surreal stories about a failing America' Sunday Times WINNER OF THE 2014 FOLIO PRIZE AND SHORTLISTED FOR THE NATIONAL BOOK AWARD 2013 George Saunders's most wryly hilarious and disturbing collection yet, Tenth of December illuminates human experience and explores figures lost in a labyrinth of troubling preoccupations. A family member recollects a backyard pole dressed for all occasions; Jeff faces horrifying ultimatums and the prospect of Darkenfloxx(TM) in some unusual drug trials; and Al Roosten hides his own internal monologue behind a winning smile that he hopes will make him popular. With dark visions of the future riffing against ghosts of the past and the ever-settling present, this collection sings with astonishing charm and intensity.
Download or read book It s Kind of a Funny Story written by Ned Vizzini and published by Disney Electronic Content. This book was released on 2010-09-25 with total page 452 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Like many ambitious New York City teenagers, Craig Gilner sees entry into Manhattan's Executive Pre-Professional High School as the ticket to his future. Determined to succeed at life—which means getting into the right high school to get into the right college to get the right job—Craig studies night and day to ace the entrance exam, and does. That's when things start to get crazy. At his new school, Craig realizes that he isn't brilliant compared to the other kids; he's just average, and maybe not even that. He soon sees his once-perfect future crumbling away.
Download or read book Hyperbole and a Half written by Allie Brosh and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2013-10-29 with total page 288 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: #1 New York Times Bestseller “Funny and smart as hell” (Bill Gates), Allie Brosh’s Hyperbole and a Half showcases her unique voice, leaping wit, and her ability to capture complex emotions with deceptively simple illustrations. FROM THE PUBLISHER: Every time Allie Brosh posts something new on her hugely popular blog Hyperbole and a Half the internet rejoices. This full-color, beautifully illustrated edition features more than fifty percent new content, with ten never-before-seen essays and one wholly revised and expanded piece as well as classics from the website like, “The God of Cake,” “Dogs Don’t Understand Basic Concepts Like Moving,” and her astonishing, “Adventures in Depression,” and “Depression Part Two,” which have been hailed as some of the most insightful meditations on the disease ever written. Brosh’s debut marks the launch of a major new American humorist who will surely make even the biggest scrooge or snob laugh. We dare you not to. FROM THE AUTHOR: This is a book I wrote. Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative—like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it—but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book: Pictures Words Stories about things that happened to me Stories about things that happened to other people because of me Eight billion dollars* Stories about dogs The secret to eternal happiness* *These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness!
Download or read book Potty Power written by and published by . This book was released on 2014-06-05 with total page 16 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Join big heroes, Batman, Superman and the rest of the DC Super Friends, as they take off on a new mission - teaching little heroes everywhere to use Potty Power! Each of the Super Friends will use their unique powers to teach young heroes how to master the potty. With the help of Superman's super-breath you'll say bye-bye to nappies, hatch a master plan with Batman and Robin and be on the way to becoming toilet trained. Aquaman will even harness the power of water to wash little hands afterwards! In a durable format designed to withstand the rough and tumble of little hands, plus special reward stickers help encourage young children to become big heroes when it comes to toilet training. Look out for the QR code inside the book, to download a bonus reward chart and super hero activity sheets!
Download or read book I Nearly Shit Myself 3 written by Joe KING and published by Andrew M Molloy. This book was released on with total page 78 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: I Nearly Shit Myself 3, is a dark tale from Joe KING that will show you how sometimes it is better to stick with what you have, rather than risk it all. With profanity from the beginning, your sense of humour/humor will be pushed to its limits! When alcoholic scientist Joel discovers a new serum, he soon discovers it not only has the power to make him a monster in bed, but it also has a side effort so horrific, it makes his life a living nightmare! As Joel’s drinking gets out of control, so does his life and unknowing to him, he is killing people. With his time running out, will he live long enough to find a way out of this horror story he has created for himself? Or will he just have to accept, the serum he has taken was never going to have a happy ending! I Nearly Shit Myself 3 is now being published as, The PLONKER with an alternative ending.
Download or read book I Know This Much Is True written by Wally Lamb and published by Cambridge University Press. This book was released on 1998-06-03 with total page 884 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: With his stunning debut novel, She's Come Undone, Wally Lamb won the adulation of critics and readers with his mesmerizing tale of one woman's painful yet triumphant journey of self-discovery. Now, this brilliantly talented writer returns with I Know This Much Is True, a heartbreaking and poignant multigenerational saga of the reproductive bonds of destruction and the powerful force of forgiveness. A masterpiece that breathtakingly tells a story of alienation and connection, power and abuse, devastation and renewal--this novel is a contemporary retelling of an ancient Hindu myth. A proud king must confront his demons to achieve salvation. Change yourself, the myth instructs, and you will inhabit a renovated world. When you're the same brother of a schizophrenic identical twin, the tricky thing about saving yourself is the blood it leaves on your bands--the little inconvenience of the look-alike corpse at your feet. And if you're into both survival of the fittest and being your brother's keeper--if you've promised your dying mother--then say so long to sleep and hello to the middle of the night. Grab a book or a beer. Get used to Letterman's gap-toothed smile of the absurd, or the view of the bedroom ceiling, or the influence of random selection. Take it from a godless insomniac. Take it from the uncrazy twin--the guy who beat the biochemical rap. Dominick Birdsey's entire life has been compromised and constricted by anger and fear, by the paranoid schizophrenic twin brother he both deeply loves and resents, and by the past they shared with their adoptive father, Ray, a spit-and-polish ex-Navy man (the five-foot-six-inch sleeping giant who snoozed upstairs weekdays in the spare room and built submarines at night), and their long-suffering mother, Concettina, a timid woman with a harelip that made her shy and self-conscious: She holds a loose fist to her face to cover her defective mouth--her perpetual apology to the world for a birth defect over which she'd had no control. Born in the waning moments of 1949 and the opening minutes of 1950, the twins are physical mirror images who grow into separate yet connected entities: the seemingly strong and protective yet fearful Dominick, his mother's watchful "monkey"; and the seemingly weak and sweet yet noble Thomas, his mother's gentle "bunny." From childhood, Dominick fights for both separation and wholeness--and ultimately self-protection--in a house of fear dominated by Ray, a bully who abuses his power over these stepsons whose biological father is a mystery. I was still afraid of his anger but saw how he punished weakness--pounced on it. Out of self-preservation I hid my fear, Dominick confesses. As for Thomas, he just never knew how to play defense. He just didn't get it. But Dominick's talent for survival comes at an enormous cost, including the breakup of his marriage to the warm, beautiful Dessa, whom he still loves. And it will be put to the ultimate test when Thomas, a Bible-spouting zealot, commits an unthinkable act that threatens the tenuous balance of both his and Dominick's lives. To save himself, Dominick must confront not only the pain of his past but the dark secrets he has locked deep within himself, and the sins of his ancestors--a quest that will lead him beyond the confines of his blue-collar New England town to the volcanic foothills of Sicily 's Mount Etna, where his ambitious and vengefully proud grandfather and a namesake Domenico Tempesta, the sostegno del famiglia, was born. Each of the stories Ma told us about Papa reinforced the message that he was the boss, that he ruled the roost, that what he said went. Searching for answers, Dominick turns to the whispers of the dead, to the pages of his grandfather's handwritten memoir, The History of Domenico Onofrio Tempesta, a Great Man from Humble Beginnings. Rendered with touches of magic realism, Domenico's fablelike tale--in which monkeys enchant and religious statues weep--becomes the old man's confession--an unwitting legacy of contrition that reveals the truth's of Domenico's life, Dominick learns that power, wrongly used, defeats the oppressor as well as the oppressed, and now, picking through the humble shards of his deconstructed life, he will search for the courage and love to forgive, to expiate his and his ancestors' transgressions, and finally to rebuild himself beyond the haunted shadow of his twin. Set against the vivid panoply of twentieth-century America and filled with richly drawn, memorable characters, this deeply moving and thoroughly satisfying novel brings to light humanity's deepest needs and fears, our aloneness, our desire for love and acceptance, our struggle to survive at all costs. Joyous, mystical, and exquisitely written, I Know This Much Is True is an extraordinary reading experience that will leave no reader untouched.
Download or read book Holy Shit written by Gene Logsdon and published by Chelsea Green Publishing. This book was released on 2010-08-30 with total page 272 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In his insightful new book, Holy Shit: Managing Manure to Save Mankind, contrary farmer Gene Logsdon provides the inside story of manure-our greatest, yet most misunderstood, natural resource. He begins by lamenting a modern society that not only throws away both animal and human manure-worth billions of dollars in fertilizer value-but that spends a staggering amount of money to do so. This wastefulness makes even less sense as the supply of mined or chemically synthesized fertilizers dwindles and their cost skyrockets. In fact, he argues, if we do not learn how to turn our manures into fertilizer to keep food production in line with increasing population, our civilization, like so many that went before it, will inevitably decline. With his trademark humor, his years of experience writing about both farming and waste management, and his uncanny eye for the small but important details, Logsdon artfully describes how to manage farm manure, pet manure and human manure to make fertilizer and humus. He covers the field, so to speak, discussing topics like: How to select the right pitchfork for the job and use it correctly How to operate a small manure spreader How to build a barn manure pack with farm animal manure How to compost cat and dog waste How to recycle toilet water for irrigation purposes, and How to get rid ourselves of our irrational paranoia about feces and urine. Gene Logsdon does not mince words. This fresh, fascinating and entertaining look at an earthy, but absolutely crucial subject, is a small gem and is destined to become a classic of our agricultural literature.
