Download or read book My Kid Is an Asshole and So Is My Dog written by Diana Stefano and published by . This book was released on 2018-09-27 with total page 150 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: My Kid Is an Asshole, and So Is My Dog-- a comedic look at the drama of raising a teenage girl I just returned from the mall after school shopping with my soon-to-be sophomore and her friend. I now understand why fathers opt to go camping, roll around in elk urine, and shit in a hole rather than go to the mall three days before school starts. As if the crowds weren't bad enough, my girl decided to wear a flannel that hung lower than her shorts, making it appear that she was walking around naked from the waist down. She was flocked by sales people, who, I am sure, were calculating their commissions in their heads. I mean, why not? Everybody wants to help the girl who arrives pant-less. Obviously, she needs clothes.We're not home half an hour and the vodka I poured for myself is only half gone when she yells down from her room, "Mom, have you seen my push up bra? Maybe we need to go back to the mall."It's the moments like these where I'm convinced raising a teen is bullshit, and I wonder if we'll ever come out on the other side even speaking to one another. Pass the vodka.There aren't enough warnings in the world for raising teenage girls. Although my mom swears my daughter takes after me, so it's karma.Is it karma that I've got two barking dogs? It must be. Have you ever heard a shiu-tzu bark? I have. Over and over. They think they're coyotes. I swear. And right now, they're wrestling over some stuffed animal, which is surely about to fling open, so I can pick up little beads all over the carpet while drinking my vodka. No wait. They stopped. One of them had to drag its ass across the floor. Epic.It's in the little moments where I earn my parenting badges-the faded stretch marks.Ruff, ruff!If this is my karma for being such an asshole to my mom, maybe we can get through this too. And if she pays attention in English, instead of scouting for a prom date, she can learn to write her own book-the sequel to this: My Mom Is an Asshole, but Not My Dog.

Download or read book The Other End of the Leash written by Patricia McConnell, Ph.D. and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 2009-02-19 with total page 289 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Learn to communicate with your dog—using their language “Good reading for dog lovers and an immensely useful manual for dog owners.”—The Washington Post An Applied Animal Behaviorist and dog trainer with more than twenty years’ experience, Dr. Patricia McConnell reveals a revolutionary new perspective on our relationship with dogs—sharing insights on how “man’s best friend” might interpret our behavior, as well as essential advice on how to interact with our four-legged friends in ways that bring out the best in them. After all, humans and dogs are two entirely different species, each shaped by its individual evolutionary heritage. Quite simply, humans are primates and dogs are canids (as are wolves, coyotes, and foxes). Since we each speak a different native tongue, a lot gets lost in the translation. This marvelous guide demonstrates how even the slightest changes in our voices and in the ways we stand can help dogs understand what we want. Inside you will discover: • How you can get your dog to come when called by acting less like a primate and more like a dog • Why the advice to “get dominance” over your dog can cause problems • Why “rough and tumble primate play” can lead to trouble—and how to play with your dog in ways that are fun and keep him out of mischief • How dogs and humans share personality types—and why most dogs want to live with benevolent leaders rather than “alpha wanna-bes!” Fascinating, insightful, and compelling, The Other End of the Leash is a book that strives to help you connect with your dog in a completely new way—so as to enrich that most rewarding of relationships.

Download or read book People I Want to Punch in the Throat written by Jen Mann and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 2014-09-09 with total page 224 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A debut collection of witty, biting essays laced with a surprising warmth, from Jen Mann, the writer behind the popular blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat People I want to punch in the throat: • anyone who feels the need to bling her washer and dryer • humblebraggers • people who treat their pets like children Jen Mann doesn’t have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, her fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of mothers’ night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship (the one you have with your cleaning lady), nothing is sacred or off-limits. So the next time you find yourself wearing fuzzy bunny pajamas in the school carpool line or accidentally stuck at a co-worker’s swingers party, just think, What would Jen Mann do? Or better yet, buy her book. Praise for People I Want to Punch in the Throat “People I Want to Punch in the Throat is so good that it’ll make you want to adopt all the cats in the world. I’m not sure about the correlation, but it’s that good. It should come with a warning.”—Jenny Lawson, author of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened “Jen Mann has an amazing way of telling stories that will make you cringe and burst out laughing at the same time. From swinger parties to racist toddlers, she makes the suburbs unbelievably funny.”—Karen Alpert, author of I Heart My Little A-Holes “Jen Mann says the things we’re all too afraid to say. Her honest and hilarious writing style reminds me of David Sedaris and Tina Fey.”—Robin O’Bryant, author of Ketchup Is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves “Jen Mann’s shrewd and unrelenting assault on the absurdity of suburban life is an honest peek into the occasional nightmare that is part of living the American dream. I love Jen. I wish she was my neighbor. It’s so refreshing to know that I’m not the only one who wants to punch almost everyone in the f***ing throat.”—Nicole Knepper, author of Moms Who Drink And Swear

Download or read book My Pug Is an Asshole written by Matt Shaw and published by . This book was released on 2017-08-24 with total page 88 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 'I WANT A DOG!'Who hasn't heard that screamed from a child or partner? They want a dog but you don't want one because you know it will be your responsibility to look after it when they grow bored. Well, this book isn't necessarily for you. This book is for those who want a dog but have no idea what they're really letting themselves in for. You see, I wanted a dog. I was one of those annoying people ranting and raving how badly I wanted one. 'Now I am an adult, I should be allowed to get a dog! It's my house!'I got my dog. I got what I wanted. I even chose the dog. Now, as I sit here typing out this blurb, I weep. Why did I do this to myself? Why have I just committed to this little bastard for God knows how many years?If you want a dog of your own. Read this book. Perhaps see things you didn't necessarily think of (on top of having to clean up its shit from when you go on walks or when it runs in your garden). Then, when you have read the book, make your decision again. Decide if it really is for you.Don't want a dog? Well this is about a pug called Chewie... Read about Chewie's first year and just laugh at my misadventures and misery...From Matt Shaw, author of 'Wasting Stamps', 'Plentyoffreaks' and 'Im fine'

Download or read book The Art of Raising a Puppy written by Monks of New Skete and published by Little, Brown. This book was released on 2001-05-15 with total page 361 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Monks of New Skete THE ART OF RAISING A PUPPY The authors of the classic guide How to Be Your Dog's Best Friend now tell you everything you need to know about the crucial first months of your puppy's life. From the decision to adopt a pup through the practical steps of choosing the right breed, preparing your home, caring for your new charge, and practicing basic obedience exercises, the Monks of New Skete offer clear, compassionate guidelines for raising a puppy. Renowned for breeding German shepherds, the Monks train their own beautiful dogs, and dogs of any breed, according to a unique program based on understanding canine behavior and enhancing the bond between dog and owner. This communion begins in puppyhood and is based on deep respect and affection. Improper care, poor training, or a lack of attention during the early months can lead to problem behaviors that become increasingly difficult to alter as your dog matures. By learning to gently assert your dominance from the start, you'll build a lasting and loving relationship with your pup. This complete guide, illustrated with more than eighty black-and-white photographs, explains the stages of puppy development, how to communicate with your pup, how to begin a complete training program, and how to deal with common problems like chewing, jumping up, and paper-training. The kind of fulfillment a solid relationship with your pup can bring is demonstrated in the stories of three dogs who have assumed special places in their owners lives. The Art of Raising a Puppy is an essential source of wisdom, information, and inspiration for anyone who loves and cares for a puppy. As a community, the Monks of New Skete have been breeding, raising, and training dogs for more than twenty years. New Skete Monastery is located in Cambridge, New York.

Download or read book Social Q s written by Philip Galanes and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2012-11-27 with total page 262 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A series of whimsical essays by the New York Times "Social Q's" columnist provides modern advice on navigating today's murky moral waters, sharing recommendations for such everyday situations as texting on the bus to splitting a dinner check.

Download or read book Please Don t Bite the Baby and Please Don t Chase the Dogs written by Lisa Edwards and published by Seal Press. This book was released on 2015-11-17 with total page 256 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Please Don't Bite the Baby (and Please Don't Chase the Dogs) chronicles certified professional dog trainer Lisa Edwards’ endearing and entertaining journey to ensure that her household survives and thrives when she introduces her son to her motley pack of animals. As Lisa knows all too well, the dog/child relationship is simultaneously treasured, misunderstood, and sometimes feared. In a twist, Lisa's dog training techniques inevitably seep into how she navigates her first year with baby to mixed but enlightening results. Lisa includes her best training techniques for the everyday pet owner itemized at the end of each chapter. This book is important for parents, grandparents, and caregivers who have dogs and young children together and want to ensure safety for all.

Download or read book Culture Clash written by Jean Donaldson and published by Dogwise Publishing. This book was released on 2013-06-01 with total page 226 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The most thought provoking book ever written on dog behavior and training Generations of dogs have been labeled training-lemons for requiring actual motivation when all along they were perfectly normal. Numerous other completely and utterly normal dogs have been branded as canine misfits simply because they grew up to act like dogs. Barking, chewing, sniffing, licking, jumping up and occasionally, (just like people), having arguments, is as normal and natural for dogs as wagging tails and burying bones. However, all dogs need to be taught how to modify their normal and natural behaviors to adjust to human culture. Sadly, all to often, when the dog's way of life conflicts with human rules and standards, many dogs are discarded and summarily put to death. That's quite the Culture Clash. Simply, the best dog book I have ever read! The Culture Clash is utterly unique, fascinating to the extreme and literally overflowing with oodles of useful, how-to information. Jean Donaldson's refreshing new perspective on the relationship between people and dogs had redefined the state of the art of dog-friendly dog training. Dr. Ian Dunbar, Founder of the Association of Pet Dog Trainers

Download or read book Grief Life written by Diana Register and published by . This book was released on 2018-09-03 with total page 300 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Based on a true storyIt happened out of nowhere.Diana and her high school sweetheart Chad were living an ideal life. They were raising kids, working in public service, travelling and watching their daughter compete in gymnastics. When everything just changed.Soon, they found themselves embarking on an eighteen-month battle to save Chad's life after a diagnosis of pancreatic cancer at only forty-four. Full of hope, they travelled the country searching for treatments and begging some of the best doctors in the world for help. They never gave up but the monstrous cancer beat them anyway. After Chad died, Diana set out to bring awareness to the disease but found that her raw, no-holds-barred comments about grief were what people resonated with most. In her advocacy, she soon learned that it wasn't just death people were grieving and that everybody is living a "Grief Life" in some way. Chad was Diana's "person": Her confidante. Her best friend. The keeper of her stories. The vault for her memories. The man whom she loved, admired, respected and appreciated the most. The man she never thought she would have to live without. It is her hope that if you can see that she can survive her loss, that you will be able to survive yours too.It happens out of nowhere.And everything changes.

Download or read book Be the Pack Leader written by Cesar Millan and published by Crown Archetype. This book was released on 2007-10-02 with total page 338 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The bestselling author and star of National Geographic Channel's Dog Whisperer shows you how to develop the calm-assertive energy of a successful pack leader and use it to improve your dog’s life–and your own Be the Pack Leader is Cesar Millan’s guide for taking your relationship with your dog to a higher level. By developing the skills necessary to become the calm-assertive owner your dog needs in order for him to live a balanced, fulfilled life, you’ll improve your dog’s behavior and your own life as well. Be the Pack Leader is filled with practical tips and techniques, including: • How to use calm-assertive energy in relating to your dog—and to others around you • The truth about behavioral tools, from leashes and harnesses to clickers and e-collars • How to satisfy the needs of your dog’s breed • Success stories from Cesar’s clients, viewers, and fans—including the Grogan family of Marley & Me fame • A quick reference guide of specific, step-by-step procedures to tackling some of the most common dog behavior problems “[Cesar] arrives amid chaos and leaves behind peace.” —Malcolm Gladwell, The New Yorker “[Millan is] serene and mesmerizing. . . . He deserves a cape and a mask.” —New York Times

Download or read book Kinship with All Life written by J. Allen Boone and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 1976-01-28 with total page 164 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Is there a universal language of love, a "kinship with all life" that can open new horizons of experience? Example after example in this unique classic -- from "Strongheart" the actor-dog to "Freddie" the fly -- resounds with entertaining and inspiring proof that communication with animals is a wonderful, indisputable fact. All that is required is an attitude of openness, friendliness, humility, and a sense of humor to part the curtain and form bonds of real friendship. For anyone who loves animals, for all those who have ever experienced the special devotion only a pet can bring, Kinship With All Life is an unqualified delight. Sample these pages and you will never encounter "just a dog" again, but rather a fellow member of nature's own family.

Download or read book Elevating Child Care written by Janet Lansbury and published by Rodale Books. This book was released on 2024-04-30 with total page 177 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A modern parenting classic—a guide to a new and gentle way of understanding the care and nurture of infants, by the internationally renowned childcare expert, podcaster, and author of No Bad Kids “An absolute go-to for all parents, therapists, anyone who works with, is, or knows parents of young children.”—Wendy Denham, PhD A Resources for Infant Educarers (RIE) teacher and student of pioneering child specialist Magda Gerber, Janet Lansbury helps parents look at the world through the eyes of their infants and relate to them as whole people who have natural abilities to learn without being taught. Once we are able to view our children in this light, even the most common daily parenting experiences become stimulating opportunities to learn, discover, and connect with our child. A collection of the most-read articles from Janet’s popular and long-running blog, Elevating Child Care focuses on common infant issues, including: • Nourishing our babies’ healthy eating habits • Calming your clingy, fearful child • How to build your child’s focus and attention span • Developing routines that promote restful sleep Eschewing the quick-fix tips and tricks of popular parenting culture, Lansbury’s gentle, insightful guidance lays the foundation for a closer, more fulfilling parent-child relationship, and children who grow up to be authentic, confident, successful adults.

Download or read book How to Raise Kids Who Aren t Assholes written by Melinda Wenner Moyer and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2022-06-21 with total page 353 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes is a clear, actionable, sometimes humorous (but always science-based) guide for parents on how to shape their kids into honest, kind, generous, confident, independent, and resilient people...who just might save the world one day. As an award-winning science journalist, Melinda Wenner Moyer was regularly asked to investigate and address all kinds of parenting questions: how to potty train, when and whether to get vaccines, and how to help kids sleep through the night. But as Melinda's children grew, she found that one huge area was ignored in the realm of parenting advice: how do we make sure our kids don't grow up to be assholes? On social media, in the news, and from the highest levels of government, kids are increasingly getting the message that being selfish, obnoxious and cruel is okay. Hate crimes among children and teens are rising, while compassion among teens has been dropping. We know, of course, that young people have the capacity for great empathy, resilience, and action, and we all want to bring up kids who will help build a better tomorrow. But how do we actually do this? How do we raise children who are kind, considerate, and ethical inside and outside the home, who will grow into adults committed to making the world a better place? How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes is a deeply researched, evidence-based primer that provides a fresh, often surprising perspective on parenting issues, from toddlerhood through the teenage years. First, Melinda outlines the traits we want our children to possess—including honesty, generosity, and antiracism—and then she provides scientifically-based strategies that will help parents instill those characteristics in their kids. Learn how to raise the kind of kids you actually want to hang out with—and who just might save the world.

Download or read book Ask a Manager written by Alison Green and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 2018-05-01 with total page 304 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the creator of the popular website Ask a Manager and New York’s work-advice columnist comes a witty, practical guide to 200 difficult professional conversations—featuring all-new advice! There’s a reason Alison Green has been called “the Dear Abby of the work world.” Ten years as a workplace-advice columnist have taught her that people avoid awkward conversations in the office because they simply don’t know what to say. Thankfully, Green does—and in this incredibly helpful book, she tackles the tough discussions you may need to have during your career. You’ll learn what to say when • coworkers push their work on you—then take credit for it • you accidentally trash-talk someone in an email then hit “reply all” • you’re being micromanaged—or not being managed at all • you catch a colleague in a lie • your boss seems unhappy with your work • your cubemate’s loud speakerphone is making you homicidal • you got drunk at the holiday party Praise for Ask a Manager “A must-read for anyone who works . . . [Alison Green’s] advice boils down to the idea that you should be professional (even when others are not) and that communicating in a straightforward manner with candor and kindness will get you far, no matter where you work.”—Booklist (starred review) “The author’s friendly, warm, no-nonsense writing is a pleasure to read, and her advice can be widely applied to relationships in all areas of readers’ lives. Ideal for anyone new to the job market or new to management, or anyone hoping to improve their work experience.”—Library Journal (starred review) “I am a huge fan of Alison Green’s Ask a Manager column. This book is even better. It teaches us how to deal with many of the most vexing big and little problems in our workplaces—and to do so with grace, confidence, and a sense of humor.”—Robert Sutton, Stanford professor and author of The No Asshole Rule and The Asshole Survival Guide “Ask a Manager is the ultimate playbook for navigating the traditional workforce in a diplomatic but firm way.”—Erin Lowry, author of Broke Millennial: Stop Scraping By and Get Your Financial Life Together

Download or read book Decoding Your Dog written by Steve Dale and published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. This book was released on 2014 with total page 389 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The top dog behaviorists in the country - the top researchers, scientists, and veterinarians - have teamed up with a renowned media personality to create the most cutting-edge, scientifically accurate, definitive book on why our dogs do what they do and how we can prevent or solve common canine behavior problems.

Download or read book Hyperbole and a Half written by Allie Brosh and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2013-10-29 with total page 288 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: #1 New York Times Bestseller “Funny and smart as hell” (Bill Gates), Allie Brosh’s Hyperbole and a Half showcases her unique voice, leaping wit, and her ability to capture complex emotions with deceptively simple illustrations. FROM THE PUBLISHER: Every time Allie Brosh posts something new on her hugely popular blog Hyperbole and a Half the internet rejoices. This full-color, beautifully illustrated edition features more than fifty percent new content, with ten never-before-seen essays and one wholly revised and expanded piece as well as classics from the website like, “The God of Cake,” “Dogs Don’t Understand Basic Concepts Like Moving,” and her astonishing, “Adventures in Depression,” and “Depression Part Two,” which have been hailed as some of the most insightful meditations on the disease ever written. Brosh’s debut marks the launch of a major new American humorist who will surely make even the biggest scrooge or snob laugh. We dare you not to. FROM THE AUTHOR: This is a book I wrote. Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative—like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it—but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book: Pictures Words Stories about things that happened to me Stories about things that happened to other people because of me Eight billion dollars* Stories about dogs The secret to eternal happiness* *These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness!

Download or read book Puppy Socialization written by Marge Rogers and published by Bright Friends Productions. This book was released on 2021-06-23 with total page 293 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Puppy Socialization: What It Is and How to Do It defines and demystifies the most important thing you can do for your puppy: socialization. The authors don't just tell you what you need to know about socialization. They show you with dozens of photographs and exclusive linked videos (a live internet connection is needed to view the videos). You'll see other owners socialize their puppies under the guidance of a nationally certified dog trainer and behavior consultant. These real-life examples of socialization show you what to do when things go well and when they don't go so well. You’ll learn about: • The magical time. Did you know that there is a special time in a puppy's life when he is primed to accept new things? The authors tell you when that time is, when that socialization window starts closing, and how a little effort by an owner during that time can save heartache later. • Canine body language. Puppies and dogs are talking all the time—with their body language. Learn to tell when a puppy or dog is relaxed and happy, a bit nervous about something, or outright fearful. • Myth-busting. There's a lot of advice out there about socialization and not all of it is good. Some common myths can actually cause a puppy harm. The authors give you the most up-to-date information on puppy socialization and put some harmful myths to rest. • Socializing a puppy during COVID-19. Puppies have so much to get used to: people, environments, noises, and more. The authors provide strategies for keeping humans and puppies safe while socializing puppies, even during the COVID-19 pandemic. • What supplies are needed during socialization. The authors provide checklists of things owners need when socializing a puppy at home and away from home.