Download or read book Laughs and Gaffes written by Donald Green and published by CreateSpace. This book was released on 2015-06-30 with total page 140 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: LAUGHS AND GAFFES is a book of short, hilarious stories (anecdotes) about events that happened to the author, his wife, and their families. A number of readers have said every story made them either laugh out loud, chuckle, or say "Oh no." A list of the stories is shown below. Jack Jumped, Billy and Mr. Jones, Doughnuts, Bargains?, Getting Rich, Bananas, Trailer Communications, Moving Experiences, Split, Little Boy Next Door, The Deviled Egg Gaffe, Popping Lessons, Slippery, Slimy Thumb, Blank, Slide Rule, The Bear, Business Travel is Such a Privilege, That Dog, Scent of Man, See His Little Ears, Use Your Diaphragm!, Pfffft, The Trek, The Truck, The Siren, Watch Out For Rattlesnakes, The Green Hornet and Kato, Intervention, Gullible's Travels, The Warranty, Open Kimono Dash, The Little French Restaurant, Rhythm of the Sea, Late, Stranger in the House, A Thump In The Night. Go to website booksbydongreen.com to see books written by Donald Green, and for easy access to the "Look Inside" feature for a free look at early pages in the books.
Download or read book Rubber Balls and Liquor written by Gilbert Gottfried and published by Macmillan + ORM. This book was released on 2011-04-26 with total page 285 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Nobody ever reads this part of the book. Somebody at the publishing house explained to me that it's actually called the book flap. That sounded dirty, so I giggled for three hours. But it says in my contract that I have to write something over here in this tiny space, even though I don't think anyone will notice. Some people might open up to the middle of the book and start flipping through pages, but nobody will read this part. In fact, I'll bet anything that you're not reading this part now. And if it turns out that you are . . . well, the guy in the bookstore is probably staring at you, saying, "Stop reading that book!" I guess there's a reason bookstores are going out of business, left and right. Cheap fucks like you think it's okay to stand in the aisles and read to your heart's content. So for the sake of bookstores everywhere, buy this fucking book. I myself don't care. I only care about the poor working man. Oh, and the sanctity of the written word. I care about that, too. And in my case, those written words, of course, include fuck, dick, and pussy. In the early 1970s, as our nation's youth railed against every conceivable societal norm, a funny-looking teenage Jew started turning up at open mike nights in various New York City comedy clubs. Surprisingly, he didn't suck. That funny-looking teenage Jew is now the even funnier-looking middle-aged comedian Gilbert Gottfried, who despite his transparent shortcomings has managed to carve out a hardly-respectable career—and a reputation for shock and awe unrivaled outside the Bush administration. With this scathingly funny book of rants and musings, Gottfried sullies an entirely new medium with his dysfunctional worldview. HILARIOUS HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE: • Gut-wrenching stories from his bizarre childhood • A list of celebrities Gilbert would like to have sex with • A somewhat shorter list of celebrities who would like to have sex with Gilbert • An even shorter list of Gilbert's comely co-stars who have been forced to have sex with him on- screen • Side-splitting tales of the worst gigs he's ever performed • Incredibly awkward encounters with famous people from Gilbert's years as a celebrity (of sorts), including Harrison Ford, Keifer Sutherland, Hugh Hefner and one wildly offensive exchange with Marlee Matlin that left the actress speechless • Signature takes on timeless jokes, presented in a clip‘n save format so humorless readers can commit them to memory or tear them from the book's spine and carry them around in their wallets to amuse their friends • The story behind Gilbert's infamous retelling of the classic "Aristocrats" routine that defined the most recent phase of his career • And much more!
Download or read book Speaking My Mind written by Ronald Reagan and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2004-08 with total page 436 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The most important speeches of America's "Great Communicator": Here, in his own words, is the record of Ronald Reagan's remarkable political career and historic eight-year presidency.
Download or read book Brilliant Blunders written by Mario Livio and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2014-05-27 with total page 352 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Drawing on the lives of five great scientists -- Charles Darwin, William Thomson (Lord Kelvin), Linus Pauling, Fred Hoyle and Albert Einstein -- scientist/author Mario Livio shows how even the greatest scientists made major mistakes and how science built on these errors to achieve breakthroughs, especially into the evolution of life and the universe"--
Download or read book End Credits written by Patty Lin and published by Zibby Books. This book was released on 2023-08-29 with total page 242 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: What happens when you land your dream job and everything you've been working toward becomes a complete nightmare? This is Patty Lin's story. She climbed the ladder as an award-winning television writer (often the only Asian person in the room) only to be confronted by discouragement, burnout, and toxicity. Ever since Patty Lin retired from television writing at the ripe age of thirty-eight, people have asked her: “Why would you quit such a cool career?” Especially when they find out she worked on some of the most successful shows in television history. But what if achieving your professional dreams comes at too high a personal cost? That’s what Patty Lin started to ask herself after years in the cutthroat TV industry. One minute she was a tourist, begging her way into the audience of Late Night with David Letterman. Just a few years later, she was an insider who—through relentless hard work and sacrifice—had earned a seat in the writers’ rooms of the hottest TV shows of all time. While writing for Friends, Freaks and Geeks, Desperate Housewives and Breaking Bad, Patty steeled herself against the indignities of a chaotic, abusive, male-dominated work culture, not just as one of the few women in the room, but as the only Asian person. Funny, eye-opening, and sobering, this inside-Hollywood story will resonate with anyone who has struggled with their work and on their life journey. And it will inspire others to listen to their inner voices and know when it’s time to get out.
Download or read book Laughter and Ridicule written by Michael Billig and published by SAGE. This book was released on 2005-10-03 with total page 276 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From Thomas Hobbes' fear of the power of laughter to the compulsory, packaged "fun" of the contemporary mass media, Billig takes the reader on a stimulating tour of the strange world of humour. Both a significant work of scholarship and a novel contribution to the understanding of the humourous, this is a seriously engaging book' - David Inglis, University of Aberdeen This delightful book tackles the prevailing assumption that laughter and humour are inherently good. In developing a critique of humour the author proposes a social theory that places humour - in the form of ridicule - as central to social life. Billig argues that all cultures use ridicule as a disciplinary means to uphold norms of conduct and conventions of meaning. Historically, theories of humour reflect wider visions of politics, morality and aesthetics. For example, Bergson argued that humour contains an element of cruelty while Freud suggested that we deceive ourselves about the true nature of our laughter. Billig discusses these and other theories, while using the topic of humour to throw light on the perennial social problems of regulation, control and emancipation.
Download or read book George W Bushisms written by Jacob Weisberg and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2012-12-11 with total page 204 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: * An hilarious collection of monumental gaffs and verbal faux pas from America's new President * Jacob Weisberg is a regular guest on BBC Radio and a highly regarded political correspondent * The new book is a natural follow-up to his previous book BUSHISMS (1992) a collection of misstatements by George Bush Snr.
Download or read book The Ants Are My Friends written by Martin Toseland and published by Portico. This book was released on 2013-01-25 with total page 175 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Linguistic mistakes. We all make them. And if your name is George W Bush, you might make them more often than others. In 'The Ants are My Friends' (delightfully misheard from Bob Dylan's "Blowing in the Wind") Martin Toseland has collected the very best (and very worst) linguistic gifts of the gaffe. The catergories features include: Malapropisms (named after Mrs Malaprop in Sheridan's "The Rivals" where the wrong word pops out to bizarre results); Eggcorns (where a new word is created from misheard real one - the name comes from someone misunderstanding 'acorn' as 'eggcorn', as it has the same shape); Bushisms (the humour in which cannot be misunderestimated); and Mondegreens or misheard lyrics, which include such classic examples as: Who Ya Gonna Call, Gus Foster ("Ghostbusters" by Ray Parker Junior); Last Night I Dreamed of Some Bagels ("La Isla Bonita" by Madonna); Sparing His Life For His Mum's Sausages ("Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen); It's a Fruit, Fruit Samba ("Cruel Summer" by Bananarama); and, Mr Tangerine Man ("Mr Tambourine Man" by Bob Dylan).
Download or read book Do You Still Throw Spears At Each Other written by Anon and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2011-10-27 with total page 100 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Britain's very-own embarrassing (royal) granddad turned 90 this year and this shamefully funny and occasionally on-point collection of the Duke's greatest gaffes celebrates the best from a lifetime of quotes that made the nation groan with embarrassment. With illustrations throughout, this is a laugh-out-loud funny tribute to the master of mis-speaking: When accepting a figurine from a woman during a visit to Kenya he said: 'You are a woman aren't you?' He asked a Scottish driving instructor how he 'kept the natives off the booze' long enough to get a licence. In Cardiff he told children from the British Deaf Association, who were stood by a Caribbean steel band: 'If you're near that music it's no wonder you're deaf'. 'Still throwing spears?' - a question to an Aborigine during a visit to Australia.
Download or read book Prince Philip written by Prince Philip (consort of Elizabeth II, Queen of Great Britain) and published by . This book was released on 2017 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book Let s Get Ready to Mumblllle written by and published by . This book was released on 2021-06-28 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Celebrate the most popular US president that has ever graced the halls of the White House with this funny Joe Biden activity book. Filled with the deep wisdom that pours from Biden's mouth, this clean humor, adult activity book will test your knowledge of Bidenisms, unintelligible babble, and nonsensical Biden quotes.This hilarious book will give you hours of fun and laughs with 50 activity pages. Activities include a quotes section, coloring pages, crosswords, word searches, mazes, word scrambles, missing words, and Biden Bingo.This would make a great gift for any Republican, Independent, or Libertarian!
Download or read book Best to Laugh written by Lorna Landvik and published by U of Minnesota Press. This book was released on 2014-09-15 with total page 414 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: No one steps up to life’s banquet, holds out her tray, and orders, “Grief, please!” But as a child, Candy Pekkala was served a heaping helping of it. Every buffet line has a dessert section, however, and when a cousin calls with a Hollywood apartment to sublet, it seems as though Candy is finally offered something sweet. It’s good-bye to Minnesota and hello to California, where a girl who has always lived by her wits has a real chance of making a living with them. With that, the irrepressible Lorna Landvik launches her latest irresistible character onto the world stage—or at least onto the dimly lit small stage where stand-up comedy gets its start. Herself a comic performer, Landvik taps her own adventurous past and Minnesota roots to conjure Candy’s life in this strange new Technicolor home. Her fellow tenants at Peyton Hall include a female bodybuilder, a ruined nightclub impresario, and a well-connected Romanian fortune-teller. There are game show appearances and temp jobs at a record company and an establishment suspiciously like the Playboy Mansion, and of course the alluring but not always welcoming stage of stand-up comedy. As she hones her act, Candy is tested by humiliation, hecklers, and the inherent sexism that insists “chicks aren’t funny.” Written with the light touch and quiet wisdom that have made her works so popular, this is classic Lorna Landvik—sometimes so funny, you’ll cry; sometimes so sad, you might as well laugh; and always impossible to put down.
Download or read book Word Up written by Rob Kyff and published by Creators Publishing. This book was released on 2014-06-15 with total page 216 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you’re fascinated by words and language, you’ll revel in Word Up! A Lively Look at English by Rob Kyff a.k.a. The Word Guy. Drawn from Kyff's nationally syndicated column on language, this spirited book treats readers to a zesty verbal smorgasbord: handy tips on good writing and usage, fascinating stories behind word and phrase origins, whimsical word play and linguistic oddities. With wit and warmth, Word Up! explores everything from the split infinitive controversy to apostrophe catastrophes to the true etymology of hooker. Each chapter concludes with a quiz that gives you a chance to test your word knowledge. A blend of William Safire and Dave Barry, Word Up! combines learning and laughter in ways that will surprise and delight you.
Download or read book God s Design for the Highly Healthy Person written by Walt Larimore and published by Zondervan. This book was released on 2004 with total page 308 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Considers health of the body, mind, and spirit, offering advice on how to make sense of contradictory media information, understand the link between mental and physical health, and recruit support during illness.
Download or read book Laughter at the Foot of the Cross written by Michael A. Screech and published by University of Chicago Press. This book was released on 2015-04-15 with total page 353 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: M. A. Screech, best known for his translations of Montaigne and Rabelais, has collected a series of brilliant essays on the question of when laughter was acceptable to the Western Church. During a time of reform and concerns about heresy, laugher becomes a subtle measure of when and how one can risk rule-breaking. While it could be cruel to mock those who fell into error, it wasas Screech points out so much better than burning them. Professor Screech explores what inspired laughter in the Renaissance, and whether it could be innocent."
Download or read book When God Laughs with Us written by David L. McKenna and published by Wipf and Stock Publishers. This book was released on 2011-01-01 with total page 139 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Lighten up! Most of us take ourselves too seriously. Christian leaders, in particular, are tempted by the position they hold, or the power they wield, to lose touch with their humanity, become arrogant, and alienate their followers. But what about our tendency to shoot ourselves in the foot, time and time again? Can we laugh at ourselves? David McKenna, a Christian college president, brings a lifetime of learning to this question. By confessing his own foibles and laughing at the ludicrous, he finds that God is laughing with him--not to ridicule, but to give the special grace that saves us from ourselves. The lessons are humbling when the laugh is on us, but they can lead to the discovery that a sense of humor is a partner with the witness of a joyful spirit. McKenna shows us by example how to lighten up and find God as we laugh at ourselves.
Download or read book Laughter and Ridicule written by Michael Billig and published by SAGE. This book was released on 2005-07-19 with total page 274 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: `From Thomas Hobbes′ fear of the power of laughter to the compulsory, packaged "fun" of the contemporary mass media, Billig takes the reader on a stimulating tour of the strange world of humour. Both a significant work of scholarship and a novel contribution to the understanding of the humourous, this is a seriously engaging book′ - David Inglis, University of Aberdeen This delightful book tackles the prevailing assumption that laughter and humour are inherently good. In developing a critique of humour the author proposes a social theory that places humour - in the form of ridicule - as central to social life. Billig argues that all cultures use ridicule as a disciplinary means to uphold norms of conduct and conventions of meaning. Historically, theories of humour reflect wider visions of politics, morality and aesthetics. For example, Bergson argued that humour contains an element of cruelty while Freud suggested that we deceive ourselves about the true nature of our laughter. Billig discusses these and other theories, while using the topic of humour to throw light on the perennial social problems of regulation, control and emancipation.
