Download or read book Dad Jokes written by Editors of Portable Press and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2017-09-01 with total page 254 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Dad’s comedy arsenal is about to get a huge upgrade . . . to the relief of everyone around him! Cue the groans. Put an end to courtesy laughs and awkward silences with the jokes in this book! From the people who brought you Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader, this is an eclectic collection of the punniest, funniest, most outrageous knee-slappers that have ever been told! At work, at home, at the game—Dad will beat them all to the punch—line, that is! He’ll be hip and humorous with totally bodacious jokes like these: Einstein developed a theory about space. And it was about time, too! Why is Christmas just like another day in the office? Because you do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit! Dad: “I wouldn’t want to be buried in this graveyard.” Kid: “Why not?” Dad: “Because I'm not dead yet!” And many more!
Download or read book Uncle John s New Improved Funniest Ever written by Bathroom Readers' Institute and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2018-07-17 with total page 389 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The popular bathroom reader series is back with this collection that’s flush with laughs. It’s new, it’s improved, it’s the funniest ever! Back by popular demand, this newly revised edition includes plenty of all-time favorites, along with more than twenty-five pages of new content. That’s page after page after page of laugh-out-loud dumb jokes, dumb jocks, toasts, pranks, kings, kittens, caboodles, and, of course, poorly translated kung fu movie subtitles such as “It took my seven digestive pills to dissolve your hairy crab!” So, whether you like your humor witty or witless, light or dark, silly or sublime, you’ll laugh until your head explodes. Chortle at: ·Dumb crooks: The robber who ran face-first into a wall because he forgot to poke eye holes in his pillowcase. ·Witty wordplay: If Snoop Dogg were to marry Winnie-the-Pooh, his name would become Snoop Dogg Pooh. ·Flubbed headlines: “British Left Waffles On House Floor” ·Quirky stars: Billy Idol’s concert rider demands he have one large tub of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter in his dressing room. ·Job lingo: If you hear an ER doc mention a “VIP,” be on the lookout for a “very intoxicated patient.” ·Sputtering sportscasters: “If only faces could talk.” —Pat Summerall And much, much more
Download or read book Uncle John s Canoramic Bathroom Reader written by Bathroom Readers' Institute and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2014-11-01 with total page 490 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The twenty-seventh Bathroom Reader in the beloved, bizarre trivia series with more than fifteen million copies in print! At a whopping 544 pages, Uncle John’s Canoramic Bathroom Reader is overflowing with everything that Bathroom Readers’ Institute fans have come to expect from this bestselling trivia series: fascinating history, silly science, obscure origins . . . plus fads, blunders, wordplay, quotes, and a few surprises (such as some of the “creative” methods people have used to pay off their alimony). And yes, Uncle John’s latest masterpiece is guaranteed to keep you on the edge of your can! So hang on tight as you read about . . . • Hairy superstitions • Animals who act like people • The Mother of the Father of our Country • Really BIG Things • Eugene Vidocq—the world’s first private eye • Bill Gates and his “Toilet Challenge” • Unclassified: The story of the Freedom of Information Act • How to behave like a gentleman . . . 16th century style • Great Gushers: The world’s most incredible oil strikes • Who’s the Suzette in Crepe Suzette? • Happy Sewerage Day! And much, much more!
Download or read book Katie the Catsitter written by Colleen AF Venable and published by Random House Graphic. This book was released on 2021-01-05 with total page 115 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NOMINATED FOR MULTIPLE STATE AWARDS! Calling all Raina Telgemeier fans! Introducing an irresistible new middle-grade graphic novel series about growing up, friendship, heroes, and cats (lots of cats!)--perfect for fans of Guts, Awkward and Real Friends (not to mention anyone who loves cats!) “Readers will revel in the heroic antics.” --The New York Times Katie is dreading the boring summer ahead while her best friends are all away at camp--something that's way out of Katie and her mom's budget, UNLESS Katie can figure out a way to earn the money for camp herself. But when Katie gets a job catsitting for her mysterious upstairs neighbor, life get interesting. First, Madeline has 217 cats (!) and they're not exactly . . . normal cats. Also, why is Madeline always out EXACTLY when the city's most notorious villain commits crimes?! Is it possible that Katie's upstairs neighbor is really a super villain? Can Katie wrangle a whole lot of wayward cats, save a best friendship (why is Beth barely writing back? And who's this boy she keeps talking about?!), AND crack the biggest story in the city's history? Some heroes have capes . . . Katie has cats! Don't miss the next Katie the Catsitters—Katie the Catsitter 2: Best Friends for Never and Katie the Catsitter 3: Secrets and Sidekicks! A Florida Sunshine State Reader Award nominee A South Carolina Book Award nominee A Connecticut Nutmeg Book Award nominee A Vermont Golden Dome Book Award nominee A Maine Student Book Award nominee A North Carolina Children's Book Award nominee An Indiana Young Hoosier Book Award nominee An Illinois Bluestem Readers’ Choice nominee And more!
Download or read book Gluten Free on a Shoestring written by Nicole Hunn and published by Da Capo Lifelong Books. This book was released on 2011-02-22 with total page 282 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Gluten-free cooking has never been this easy—or affordable! Tired of spending three times as much (or more) on gluten-free prepared foods? If you’re ready to slash the cost of your grocery bill, you’ve come to the right place. In Gluten-Free on a Shoestring, savvy mom Nicole Hunn shows how every gluten-free family can eat well without breaking the bank. Inside this comprehensive cookbook, you’ll find 125 delicious and inexpensive gluten-free recipes for savory dinners, favorite desserts, comfort foods, and more, plus Nicole’s top money-saving secrets. Recipes include: Apple-Cinnamon Toaster Pastries • Focaccia • Spinach Dip • Ricotta Gnocchi • Chicken Pot Pie • Szechuan Meatballs • Tortilla Soup •Baked Eggplant Parmesan• Never-Fail White Sandwich Bread • Banana Cream Pie with Graham Cracker Crust • Blueberry Muffins • Cinnamon Rolls • Perfect Chocolate Birthday Cake With advice on the best values and where to find them, meal planning strategies, and pantry-stocking tips, Gluten-Free on a Shoestring is your essential guide. Never fall victim to the overpriced, pre-packaged gluten-free aisle again. Roll on by—happier, healthier, and wealthier.
Download or read book Pierogi Love written by Casey Barber and published by Gibbs Smith. This book was released on 2015 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This tasty tribute to the pierogi takes a familiar wrapping and stuffs it with a host of unconventional, innovative, and decidedly non-traditional fillings. With 60 sweet and savory recipes that include everything from the classic Polish cheddar and potato offerings to American-inspired Reuben pierogies and fried apple pie-rogies to worldly fillings like falafel and Nutella, there's a pierogi for every party and every palate! Each recipe comes with a charming story from Barber's extensive explorations in pierogi flavors.
Download or read book Authentic Polish Cooking written by Marianna Dworak and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2016-05-17 with total page 315 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Readers say it best: "A great assortment of recipes from my Polish heritage and new ones to try" & "Recipes easy to follow, ingredients readily available" Polish cuisine is hearty and filling, and it is is not all meat and potatoes. This truly authentic cookbook makes a fantastic addition to any kitchen. Organized by course, this cookbook features 120 recipes, including beet soup, cucumber salad, potato pancakes, Hunter’s Stew, pork and rice stuffed cabbage leaves, traditional “babka” cake, and of course, pierogies! With easy-to-follow instructions for simple as well as more intricate dishes, a section on traditional holiday meals, estimated cooking times, and suggestions for healthy ingredient substitutions, this cookbook will teach anyone how to cook delicious Polish food.
Download or read book Fix It with Food Every Meal Easy written by Michael Symon and published by Clarkson Potter. This book was released on 2021-12-14 with total page 257 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NATIONAL BESTELLER • 120+ simple, delicious recipes for breakfast, lunch, and dinner to help you manage autoimmune issues all day—plus an all-new 10-day, 30-recipe reset to identify your food triggers—from the New York Times bestselling author of Fix It with Food. During the first few months of 2020, Michael Symon religiously posted "Symon Dinners" on Instagram every day to help his fans keep pantry-inspired meals fun and varied. The response was so great and his followership so engaged that creating a cookbook of simple weekday breakfasts, lunches, and dinners became a priority for him. In Fix It with Food: Every Meal Easy, Michael combines simple dishes for busy weekdays and meals that address autoimmune triggers for a collection of 120+ health-supportive recipes. The chapters are divided by what trigger you're avoiding, including No Meat, No Dairy, and No Flour. If you're not sure what your food triggers are, the ten-day reset will help you figure out which foods to avoid. After the reset, Michael offers guidance about how to reintegrate foods into your routine. Through fan feedback, Michael discovered that most people using his first book didn't need four servings—most wanted just enough for two meals, so in Every Meal Easy, all of the main recipes yield two meals or enough for one meal plus leftovers. And since sometimes you have a crowd to cook for, Michael offers helpful information regarding how to double recipes when needed. Readers will also find a list of his favorite 30 anti-inflammatory friendly ingredients to keep in stock all the time and a master ingredient substitution list, so if you don't have kale or black beans on hand, you can swap in whatever you have in your fridge or pantry. With Michael's encouraging voice and flexible recipes, Fix It with Food: Every Meal Easy is a must-have for anyone who is looking to feel better without compromising eating well.
Download or read book Power Ballads written by Will Boast and published by University of Iowa Press. This book was released on 2011-09-16 with total page 176 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Real musicians don’t sign autographs, date models, or fly in private jets. They spend their lives in practice rooms and basement clubs or toiling in the obscurity of coffee-shop gigs, casino jobs, and the European festival circuit. The ten linked stories in Power Ballads are devoted to this unheard virtuoso: the working musician. From the wings of sold-out arenas to hip-hop studios to polka bars, these stories are born out of a nocturnal world where music is often simply work, but also where it can, in rare moments, become a source of grace and transcendence, speaking about the things we never seem to say to each other. A skilled but snobby jazz drummer joins a costumed heavy metal band to pay his rent. A country singer tries to turn her brutal past into a successful career. A vengeful rock critic reenters the life of an emerging singer-songwriter, bent on wreaking havoc. The characters in Power Ballads—aging head-bangers, jobbers, techno DJs, groupies, and the occasional rock star (and those who have to live with them)—need music to survive, yet find themselves lost when the last note is played, the lights go up, and it’s time to return to regular life. By turns melancholy and hilarious, Power Ballads is not only a deeply felt look at the lives of musicians but also an exploration of the secret music that plays inside us all.
Download or read book Perfect Pierogi Recipes written by Rose Wysocki and published by Createspace Independent Pub. This book was released on 2013-01-16 with total page 196 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In Perfect Pierogi Recipes Rose Wysocki shares both traditional and contemporary recipes for pierogi dough, fillings and toppings. Some are recipes from her Polish Mother and Grandmother. Others are recipes she's collected or developed over the years. You'll find a total of 51 recipes. They are very easy to make. Included are recipes for: 10 different pierogi doughs (traditional and contemporary), 15 savory fillings, 6 sweet fillings, 3 traditional pierogi toppings, 2 contemporary toppings, 9 compound butters and 6 sauces. You'll also find a list of 16 additional traditional toppings and 10 contemporary toppings (without recipes.) Finally you'll find a lot of information about the history of pierogi, how to make pierogi dough, different methods to cut, stuff and seal the pierogi, how to boil, saute, deep fry or bake pierogi, how to freeze pierogi and more. Rose also provides information about a couple of pierogi cutting and sealing tools that will save you a lot of time in preparing pierogi. Making pierogi at home is really easy if you have the right directions. This book will give you a head start on making perfect pierogi for your family in your home.
Download or read book Polish Your Kitchen written by Anna Hurning and published by . This book was released on 2022-03-22 with total page 280 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Polish Your Kitchen: My Family Table is a collection of recipes handed down from generation to generation, featuring more than 100 classic Polish dishes from the author's family home and reflecting the traditional flavors and cooking styles of the Polish hearth. This book is perfect for anyone that wants to bring a taste of Poland into their home.
Download or read book The Smashing Idea Book written by Cameron Chapman and published by John Wiley & Sons. This book was released on 2011-08-15 with total page 417 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Presents a collection of design ideas and more than seven hundred examples from websites to help create an effective Web site.
Download or read book Country Living written by and published by . This book was released on 1994 with total page 1154 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book Blood Heir written by Ilona Andrews and published by NYLA. This book was released on 2021-01-12 with total page 354 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From award-winning author, Ilona Andrews, an all-new novel set in the New York Times #1 bestselling Kate Daniels World and featuring Julie Lennart-Olsen, Kate and Curran's ward. Atlanta was always a dangerous city. Now, as waves of magic and technology compete for supremacy, it’s a place caught in a slow apocalypse, where monsters spawn among the crumbling skyscrapers and supernatural factions struggle for power and survival. Eight years ago, Julie Lennart left Atlanta to find out who she was. Now she’s back with a new face, a new magic, and a new name—Aurelia Ryder—drawn by the urgent need to protect the family she left behind. An ancient power is stalking her adopted mother, Kate Daniels, an enemy unlike any other, and a string of horrifying murders is its opening gambit. If Aurelia’s true identity is discovered, those closest to her will die. So her plan is simple: get in, solve the murders, prevent the prophecy from being fulfilled, and get out without being recognized. She expected danger, but she never anticipated that the only man she'd ever loved could threaten everything. One small misstep could lead to disaster. But for Aurelia, facing disaster is easy; it’s relationships that are hard.
Download or read book The Lonely Phone Booth written by Peter Ackerman and published by David R. Godine Publisher. This book was released on 2013-06-06 with total page 36 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Remember the days when phone booths stood on every street corner? If you had to make a call, you'd step inside the little booth, lift the phone off the hook, put a coin in the slot, listen for the click, push the buttons, and hear it ring? And for only 25 cents, in the quiet of the booth, you could call your grandmother, or let the office know you were running late, or get directions for a birthday party. . . This is the story of one of the last remaining phone booths in New York City, the Phone Booth on the corner of West End Avenue and 100th. Everyone used it — from ballerinas and girl scouts, zookeepers and birthday clowns, to cellists and even secret agents! The Phone Booth was so beloved that people would sometimes wait in line to use it. Kept clean and polished, the Phone Booth was proud and happy . . . until, the day a businessman strode by and shouted into a shiny silver object, "I'll be there in ten minutes!" Soon everyone was talking into these shiny silver things, and the Phone Booth stood alone and empty, unused and dejected. How the Phone Booth saved the day and united the neighborhood to rally around its revival is the heart of this soulful story. In a world in which objects we love and recognize as part of the integral fabric of our lives are disappearing at a rapid rate, here is a story about the value of the analog, the power of the people's voice, and the care and respect due to those things that have served us well over time. With his delightful, witty, and boldly colored illustrations that evoke Miroslav Sasek's mid-century modern aesthetic, Max Dalton simply and elegantly captures the energy and diversity of New York City and its inhabitants. A beauty to behold and a pleasure to read, The Lonely Phone Booth is sure to be a favorite among children and parents alike, and the real Phone Booth, which is still standing at West End Avenue and 100th Street, is worth a field trip!
