Download or read book Hilarious Jokes for Brilliant Blokes written by Pop Press and published by Random House. This book was released on 2023-10-05 with total page 106 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: What's better than sharing a joke? Sharing 400 jokes. Give the gift of a laugh to your family comedian. This ultimate collection of laughs is packed with awesome jokes suitable for all ages - a book everyone can enjoy together. Featuring the cheesiest jokes imaginable: I'm scared of lifts. So I take steps to avoid them. Someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that. I went to a still-life exhibition. It was quite good, but not moving. I used to run a dating service for chickens but I was struggling to make hens meet. I hate Russian dolls. They are so full of themselves. ... and hundreds more...

Download or read book The Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book written by Tim Vine and published by Random House. This book was released on 2010-09-30 with total page 322 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The irrepressible, hysterical, puntastical Tim Vine, star of stage and screen, treats all of us here in his first joke book. Packed full of zingers and hilarious illustrations, if this doesn't put a smile on your face, nothing will. What's not to like: The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it. I'm against hunting. I'm actually a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one. Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.' Velcro. What a rip-off. Black Beauty. He's a dark horse. I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.

Download or read book Big Joke book written by Carleton Britton Case and published by . This book was released on 1919 with total page 332 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book The Colorado School of Mines Magazine written by and published by . This book was released on 1910 with total page 240 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book Colorado School of Mines Magazine written by and published by . This book was released on 1910 with total page 242 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book Pundamentalist written by Gary Delaney and published by Headline. This book was released on 2020-10-01 with total page 118 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 'For a collection of good old-fashioned gags, it's one of the best out there, a rich buffet of inventive wordplay that's best savoured a little at a time to fully appreciate the joy of these perfectly-constructed morsels. For original, hilarious gags you'll want to share, this is the real deal.' - Chortle 'A rollicking joyride. . . Pundamentalist has puns for the whole family: rude ones, daft ones, deft ones, stinkers and absolute belters.' - British Comedy Guide Gary Delaney, one-liner extraordinaire, has appeared on shows like Mock the Week and written for the likes of Jimmy Carr, Jason Manford, and James Corden. Now, for the first time, comes the first collection of his finest jokes. Featuring the likes of: Garden centres can't reopen fast enough for me, I've been living on borrowed thyme. We can't even afford a garden, so when my girlfriend bought us a trampoline I hit the roof. Sure everyone cares about straws killing dolphins now, but they've been breaking camels' backs for years. Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, which explains why Prince Andrew is so stupid. Sad news: The British simile champion has died. We shall not see his like again. My mom doesn't trust my dad's secretary. I asked her why, and she just said 'I've seen her type before'. Today someone told me that I look good with a salt 'n' pepper beard, so I took that as a condiment. My French pen friend just said 'Le Monde', which means the world to me. Can anyone tell me what FOMO stands for? Everyone else seems to know. Actors have got Equity, Magicians have got the Magic Circle, but it's a shame ventriloquists don't have anyone to speak for them. Does anyone know if it's safe to dye your pubes? It's a bit of a grey area. And make sure you look out for Gary's next book, about Stockholm Syndrome: it starts off badly but by the end you'll really enjoy it . . .

Download or read book Cheesie Mack Is Running like Crazy written by Steve Cotler and published by Yearling. This book was released on 2014-02-25 with total page 258 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Readers of Diary of a Wimpy Kid will love Cheesie's wacky lists, drawings, and made-up words as he tells the story of the weirdest election in the history of the sixth grade! In his third adventure, Cheesie and his best friend, Georgie, are off to middle school, where there will be lots of new kids and new teachers. Cheesie has a terrific idea--what better way to meet all the new kids than to run for class president? Plus, if he wins, it'll drive his evil older sister nuts! Then Cheesie gets bad news. One of his friends from his old school is also running for president. Cheesie has a tough decision to make, one that could affect his entire middle-school career. Should he bow out and support his friend, or go for the glory?

Download or read book Anna and the French Kiss written by Stephanie Perkins and published by Usborne Publishing Ltd. This book was released on 2013-12-16 with total page 346 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Anna had everything figured out – she was about to start senior year with her best friend, she had a great weekend job and her huge work crush looked as if it might finally be going somewhere... Until her dad decides to send her 4383 miles away to Paris. On her own. But despite not speaking a word of French, Anna finds herself making new friends, including Étienne St. Clair, the smart, beautiful boy from the floor above. But he's taken – and Anna might be too. Will a year of romantic near-misses end with the French kiss she's been waiting for?

Download or read book Gypsy Blood written by Kristy Cunning and published by . This book was released on 2019-09-27 with total page 276 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: I'm not all that special, really. Or uncommon. I'm sure there are a lot of girls with old gypsy blood who see the dead, have killer cults hunting their family, and turn into something that gets scary when they panic. Yep. Completely unoriginal, if I do say so myself.Move along. Nothing to see here. Nope. I'm just an ordinary girl.I wish people would believe that.I've been labeled as one thing or another for most of my life:Death Girl.Crazy Gypsy Girl.Gothic Chick.Monster...It took my mother's death for me to finally start getting answers about what's really been going on. Unfortunately, most of the answers come from men...who aren't just men. Somehow, I've gone and landed myself in a world truly filled with monsters, and I'm starting to think this is where I should have been all along.Only...I don't understand what's going on. I'm walking into the middle of a story that's thousands of years old, and I'm the new girl on the block who doesn't have a clue how this world even works. My only guides happen to be the most lethal of the bunch.They decide who lives or dies. They decide who gets stabbed or tortured.Yeah...I've gone and drawn attention to myself, and the ones paying attention are the ones everyone else seems to fear.How do these things always happen to me?**Reverse Harem**Language warning**Sexual content**Dark Humor

Download or read book Lost in a Good Book written by Jasper Fforde and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2004-02-24 with total page 417 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • From the author of The Constant Rabbit comes “Harry Potter just for adults . . . [an] immensely enjoyable, almost compulsive experience” (The New York Times Book Review)—the second novel in the renowned Thursday Next series. “[Lost in a Good Book] is satire, fantasy, literary criticism, thriller, whodunit, game, puzzle, joke, postmodern prank, and tilt-a-whirl.”—The Washington Post If resourceful, fearless literary detective Thursday Next thought she could avoid the spotlight after her heroic escapades in the pages of Jane Eyre, she was sorely mistaken. Her adventures as a renowned Special Operative in literary detection have left Thursday Next yearning for a rest. But when the love of her life is eradicated by the corrupt multinational Goliath Corporation, Thursday must bite the bullet and moonlight as a Prose Resource Operative in the secret world of Jurisfiction, the police force inside the books. There she is apprenticed to Miss Havisham, the famous man-hater from Dickens’s Great Expectations, who teaches her to book-jump like a pro. If Thursday retrieves a supposedly vanquished enemy from the pages of Poe’s “The Raven,” she thinks Goliath might return her lost love, Landen. But her latest mission is endlessly complicated. Not only are there side trips into the works of Kafka and Austen, and even Beatrix Potter’s The Tale of Flopsy Bunnies, Thursday finds herself the target of a series of potentially lethal coincidences, the authenticator of a newly discovered play by the Bard himself, and the only one who can prevent an unidentifiable pink sludge from engulfing all life on Earth. Don’t miss any of Jasper Fforde’s delightfully entertaining Thursday Next novels: THE EYRE AFFAIR • LOST IN A GOOD BOOK • THE WELL OF LOST PLOTS • SOMETHING ROTTEN • FIRST AMONG SEQUELS • ONE OF OUR THURSDAYS IS MISSING • THE WOMAN WHO DIED A LOT

Download or read book Bad Dad Jokes written by Willow Creek Press and published by . This book was released on 2018 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The dad joke is a delicate thing. Part knowing humor, part lack of humor, it's only requirement is that it elicits not a laugh from its audience but the annoyed response: "Daaaaaaaaad." Bad Dad Jokes is the biggest, baddest collection of "so bad they're actually good" jokes that are guaranteed to deliver a daily dose of groans and giggles. Bad Dad Jokes is a one of a kind collection of extraordinary humor in one book. By giving this collection as a gift you will bring humor and lasting memories to events for years to come.

Download or read book Re run the Fun written by Pat Sharp and published by Constable. This book was released on 2020-11-05 with total page 202 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 'The perfect antidote to 2020' Huffington Post 'A must-read if you like funny things' Greg James 'I had no idea Pat Sharp's life story would be so hilarious and I strongly suspect neither did he' Nish Kumar Pat Sharp is a man out of time. For those of a certain generation, he is an iconic figure synonymous with good fun, great hair and excess gunge. For others, he's just that bloke with a mullet. Fame is a fickle beast and, since the cancellation of Fun House in 1999 ('Just ten years into its run, when it was finally finding its feet'), Pat has become a reclusive figure, only emerging from his splendid isolation to pop up on things like I'm A Celebrity: Get Me Out Of Here, Never Mind the Buzzcocks and Come Dine with Me. Until now. With time on his hands and now reliant on a faulty memory, Pat has expertly blended fact and . . . fiction: revealing all about his adventures with David Hassselhoff at the Berlin Wall in 1989; how he broke up a fight between Damon Albarn and Liam Gallagher at a house party; the time he suggested Geri's dress be a Union Jack; and much more. A definitive work (based on very little fact) that anatomises the cultural trends of the '80s and '90s, Re-run the Fun is just the kind of sorta-biography we need in these turbulent times. Finally, the Great British public can learn what life is like just about in sight of the top - the highs, the lows and the hair tips. 'It's easy to forget, as I had, that Pat Sharp is so much more than an iconic haircut and a helter-skelter - and this well overdue book goes into hilarious, largely-fabricated detail about Pat's critical role in shaping our world today' Rick Edwards 'No previous knowledge of Pat Sharp is required' Paul Sinha

Download or read book Ranting Again written by Dennis Miller and published by Main Street Books. This book was released on 2011-11-09 with total page 198 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Dennis Miller is back, and he is Ranting Again in this hilarious compendium of wit, wisdom, and righteous outrage. This is good news for all of us who fume at the country's lack of common sense, and seethe at the absurdity of the daily headlines. Setting his sights higher and wider than ever before, Dennis Miller is at the top of his game, unleashing his unique brand of scathing wit on anything and everything. Taking on such targets as illegal immigration, the sobriety movement, the American school system, and men who wear tight T-shirts even though they have big breasts, Miller proves that nobody is safe from his hilarious yet hard-hitting scrutiny. Showcasing Dennis Miller's trademark blend of wide-ranging allusions, thought-provoking insights, and outrageous opinions, Ranting Again is a brilliant collection that is his sharpest and funniest yet.

Download or read book Machen s Hope written by Richard E. Burnett and published by Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing. This book was released on 2024-05-21 with total page 785 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The first critical biography of J. Gresham Machen, examining the full arc of his intellectual career J. Gresham Machen is known as a conservative hero of the fundamentalist-modernist controversy. But was he always so staunchly antimodernist? In this sweeping new biography, Richard E. Burnett examines the whole of Machen’s life and career—from his early years at Princeton, to his experience in the First World War, to his founding of Westminster Theological Seminary . Burnett pays special attention to topics that have received little attention from biographers, like Machen’s crisis of faith and his support for historical criticism of Scripture. Incorporating all of Machen’s major works as well as his previously unpublished private correspondence, Burnett crafts a nuanced narrative of Machen’s intellectual journey from enthusiastic modernist to stalwart conservative. Nuanced and thorough, Machen’s Hope will challenge scholars’ assumptions about Machen and his dynamic era.

Download or read book The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole Aged 13 3 4 written by Sue Townsend and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2003-08-14 with total page 274 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Adrian Mole's first love, Pandora, has left him; a neighbor, Mr. Lucas, appears to be seducing his mother (and what does that mean for his father?); the BBC refuses to publish his poetry; and his dog swallowed the tree off the Christmas cake. "Why" indeed.

Download or read book Mack The Life written by Lee Mack and published by Random House. This book was released on 2012-09-27 with total page 416 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: ‘His book is a joy to read, full of homespun wisdom and hilarious asides’ Independent ____________________ Where do comedians come from? Why is it that one person is a funny bloke down the pub while another actually makes a living by standing up in front of an audience telling jokes? And where does all that material come from? Well, young Lee McKillop used to wonder that too. ___________________ Growing up in his parents’ pub, small and wiry in a world of bigger and chunkier specimens, Lee quickly learned that cracking jokes was a way to get attention. After a somewhat random series of jobs, which included being Red Rum’s stableboy and a bingo hall barman, it was as a Great Yarmouth holiday camp entertainer that he had his first crack at telling jokes on stage. It got him some laughs, the sack and a punch in the face.* Now, as Lee Mack, he’s one of our best loved and most successful comedians, both as a live stand-up and on television. In Mack the Life, Lee tells the story of how he got there and gives extraordinary insight into what really makes comics tick. Hilarious and brilliant, it’s the kind of book which reminds you why you learned to read in the first place. *Nearly.

Download or read book The Best a Man Can Get written by John O'Farrell and published by Random House. This book was released on 2001 with total page 307 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Michael Adams shares a flat with three other men in their late twenties. Days are spent lying in bed, playing computer games and occasionally doing a bit of work. And then, when he feels like it, he crosses the river and goes back to his unsuspecting wife and children. For Michael is living a double life - he escapes from the exhausting misery of babies by telling his wife he has to work through the night or travel up north. And while she is valiantly coping on her own, he is just a few miles away in a secret flat, doing all the things that most men with small children can only dream about. He thinks he can have it all, until is deception is inevitably exposed... The Best a Man Can Get is written with the hilarious eye for detail that sent John O'Farrell's first book, Things Can Only Get Better, to the top of the bestseller lists. It is a darkly comic confessional that is at once compelling, revealing and very, very funny.