Download or read book Here s Your Sign written by Bill Engvall and published by Thomas Nelson. This book was released on 2005-09-27 with total page 161 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Stupid people are everywhere! "Last summer," says Bill Engvall, "I got a flat tire and pulled into a gas station lot. The attendant walked out, looked at the tire, and asked, 'Tire go flat?' I kept a straight face and replied, 'No, I was driving down the road when all of a sudden those other three just swelled right up on me.' Without batting an eyelash, he nodded his head and said, 'Yep. The heat'll do that.' What else could I say? I just reached intomy briefcase and handed him his very own Stupid sign." For the first time in print, here are more than 200 classic "Here's Your Sign" jokes?along with silly product warnings and some favorite family stories. Bill's hilarious look at the ridiculous things people say and do will keep you laughing. I was carrying out a bag of garbage the other day and my neighbor yelled across the fence, "Are you taking out the trash?" I said, "No, I'm going to feed our pet rats." Here's your sign! After fishing with a buddy, we pulled our boat into the dock and lifted out this big string of fish. A guy on the dock asked, "Y'all catch all them fish?" I said, "Nope. We talked them into giving up." Here's your sign!
Download or read book You Might Be a Redneck If written by Jeff Foxworthy and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 1997-10 with total page 56 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Designed to generate impulse sales, titles in this line are carefully balanced for gift giving, self-purchase, or collecting. Little Books may be small in size, but they're big in titles and sales.
Download or read book Here s to Us written by Elin Hilderbrand and published by Little, Brown. This book was released on 2016-06-14 with total page 331 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Three romantic rivals in one crowded house equals plenty of room for jealousy in this surprising and heartwarming story from New York Times bestselling author Elin Hilderbrand. Laurel Thorpe, Belinda Rowe, and Scarlett Oliver share only two things; a love for the man they all married, Deacon Thorpe—a celebrity chef with an insatiable appetite for life—and a passionate dislike of one another. All three are remarkable, spirited women, but they couldn't be more different. Laurel: Deacon's high school sweetheart and an effortlessly beautiful social worker; Belinda: a high-maintenance Hollywood diva; and Scarlett: a sexy southern belle floating by on her family money and her fabulous looks. They've established a delicate understanding over the years—they avoid each other at all costs. But their fragile detente threatens to come crashing down after Deacon's tragic death on his favorite place on earth: a ramshackle Nantucket summer cottage. Deacon's final wish was for his makeshift family to assemble on his beloved Nantucket to say good-bye. Begrudgingly, Laurel, Belinda, and Scarlett gather on the island as once again, as in each of their marriages, they're left to pick up Deacon's mess. Now they're trapped in the crowded cottage where they all made their own memories—a house that they now share in more ways than one—along with the children they raised with Deacon, and his best friend. Laurel, Belinda, and Scarlett each had an unbreakable bond with Deacon—and they all have secrets to hide. Before the weekend is over, there are enough accusations, lies, tears, and drama to turn even the best of friends—let alone three women who married the same man—into adversaries. As his unlikely family says good-bye to the man who brought them together—for better or worse—will they be able to put aside their differences long enough to raise a glass in Deacon's honor?
Download or read book Pretend I m Dead written by Jen Beagin and published by Northwestern University Press. This book was released on 2015-10-30 with total page 248 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Jen Beagin’s funny, moving, fearless debut novel introduces an unforgettable character, Mona—almost 24, cleaning houses to get by, emotionally adrift. Handing out clean needles to drug addicts, she falls for a recipient who proceeds to break her heart in unimaginable ways. She decamps to Taos, New Mexico, for a fresh start, where she finds a community of seekers and cast-offs. But they all have one or two things to teach her—the pajama-wearing, blissed-out New Agers, the slightly creepy client with peculiar tastes in controlled substances, the psychic who might really be psychic. Always just under the surface are her memories of growing up in a chaotic, destructive family from which she’s trying to disentangle herself. The story of her journey toward a comfortable place in the world and a measure of self-acceptance is psychologically acute, often surprising, and entirely human.
Download or read book How to Avoid a Climate Disaster written by Bill Gates and published by Vintage. This book was released on 2021-02-16 with total page 201 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: #1 NEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLER • In this urgent, authoritative book, Bill Gates sets out a wide-ranging, practical—and accessible—plan for how the world can get to zero greenhouse gas emissions in time to avoid a climate catastrophe. Bill Gates has spent a decade investigating the causes and effects of climate change. With the help of experts in the fields of physics, chemistry, biology, engineering, political science, and finance, he has focused on what must be done in order to stop the planet's slide to certain environmental disaster. In this book, he not only explains why we need to work toward net-zero emissions of greenhouse gases, but also details what we need to do to achieve this profoundly important goal. He gives us a clear-eyed description of the challenges we face. Drawing on his understanding of innovation and what it takes to get new ideas into the market, he describes the areas in which technology is already helping to reduce emissions, where and how the current technology can be made to function more effectively, where breakthrough technologies are needed, and who is working on these essential innovations. Finally, he lays out a concrete, practical plan for achieving the goal of zero emissions—suggesting not only policies that governments should adopt, but what we as individuals can do to keep our government, our employers, and ourselves accountable in this crucial enterprise. As Bill Gates makes clear, achieving zero emissions will not be simple or easy to do, but if we follow the plan he sets out here, it is a goal firmly within our reach.
Download or read book Sign Here written by Claudia Lux and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2023-09-19 with total page 433 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A darkly humorous, surprisingly poignant, and utterly gripping debut novel about a guy who works in Hell (literally) and is on the cusp of a big promotion if only he can get one more member of the wealthy Harrison family to sell their soul. Peyote Trip has a pretty good gig in the deals department on the fifth floor of Hell. Sure, none of the pens work, the coffee machine has been out of order for a century, and the only drink on offer is Jägermeister, but Pey has a plan—and all he needs is one last member of the Harrison family to sell their soul. When the Harrisons retreat to the family lake house for the summer, with their daughter Mickey’s precocious new friend, Ruth, in tow, the opportunity Pey has waited a millennium for might finally be in his grasp. And with the help of his charismatic coworker Calamity, he sets a plan in motion. But things aren’t always as they seem, on Earth or in Hell. And as old secrets and new dangers scrape away at the Harrisons’ shiny surface, revealing the darkness beneath, everyone must face the consequences of their choices.
Download or read book No Shirt No Shoes No Problem written by Jeff Foxworthy and published by Hachette Books. This book was released on 2009-06-15 with total page 261 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: America's favorite Southern-fried, stand-up comedian and TV sitcom star Jeff Foxworthy brings his humor to the page in this riotous laugh-out-loud book. In No Shirt. No Shoes. . . . No Problem!, Foxworthy examines the hilarity of growing up, love, sex, crazy families, roommates, friendship, mooning, having a crush on your cousin, and the real stories behind many of his favorite Redneck jokes. So get ready: You're in for a helluva good time!
Download or read book Games Rednecks Play written by Jeff Foxworthy and published by Longstreet Press. This book was released on 1995 with total page 64 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book Why Nations Fail written by Daron Acemoglu and published by Crown Currency. This book was released on 2013-09-17 with total page 546 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NEW YORK TIMES AND WALL STREET JOURNAL BESTSELLER • From two winners of the 2024 Nobel Prize in Economic Sciences, “who have demonstrated the importance of societal institutions for a country’s prosperity” “A wildly ambitious work that hopscotches through history and around the world to answer the very big question of why some countries get rich and others don’t.”—The New York Times FINALIST: Financial Times and Goldman Sachs Business Book of the Year Award • ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR: The Washington Post, Financial Times, The Economist, BusinessWeek, Bloomberg, The Christian Science Monitor, The Plain Dealer Why are some nations rich and others poor, divided by wealth and poverty, health and sickness, food and famine? Is it culture, the weather, or geography that determines prosperity or poverty? As Why Nations Fail shows, none of these factors is either definitive or destiny. Drawing on fifteen years of original research, Daron Acemoglu and James Robinson conclusively show that it is our man-made political and economic institutions that underlie economic success (or the lack of it). Korea, to take just one example, is a remarkably homogenous nation, yet the people of North Korea are among the poorest on earth while their brothers and sisters in South Korea are among the richest. The differences between the Koreas is due to the politics that created those two different institutional trajectories. Acemoglu and Robinson marshal extraordinary historical evidence from the Roman Empire, the Mayan city-states, the Soviet Union, the United States, and Africa to build a new theory of political economy with great relevance for the big questions of today, among them: • Will China’s economy continue to grow at such a high speed and ultimately overwhelm the West? • Are America’s best days behind it? Are we creating a vicious cycle that enriches and empowers a small minority? “This book will change the way people think about the wealth and poverty of nations . . . as ambitious as Jared Diamond’s Guns, Germs, and Steel.”—BusinessWeek
Download or read book You Don t Have to Be Dumb to Be Stupid written by Bill Engvall and published by . This book was released on 1997 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Material from the best-selling album "Here's Your Sign."
Download or read book The Miracle Morning Updated and Expanded Edition written by Hal Elrod and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2024-01-09 with total page 304 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Start waking up to your full potential every single day with the updated and expanded edition of the groundbreaking book that has sold more than two million copies. “So much more than a book. It is a proven methodology that will help you fulfil your potential and create the life you’ve always wanted.” —Mel Robbins, New York Times bestselling author of The High 5 Habit and The 5 Second Rule Getting everything you want out of life isn’t about doing more. It’s about becoming more. Hal Elrod and The Miracle Morning have helped millions of people become the person they need to be to create the life they’ve always wanted. Now, it’s your turn. Hal’s revolutionary SAVERS method is a simple, effective step-by-step process to transform your life in as little as six minutes per day: - Silence: Reduce stress and improve mental clarity by beginning each day with peaceful, purposeful quiet - Affirmations: Reprogram your mind to overcome any fears or beliefs that are limiting your potential or causing you to suffer - Visualization: Experience the power of mentally rehearsing yourself showing up at your best each day - Exercise: Boost your mental and physical energy in as little as sixty seconds - Reading: Acquire knowledge and expand your abilities by learning from experts - Scribing: Keep a journal to deepen gratitude, gain insights, track progress, and increase your productivity by getting clear on your top priorities This updated and expanded edition has more than forty pages of new content, including: - The Miracle Evening: Optimize your bedtime and sleep to wake up every day feeling refreshed and energized for your Miracle Morning - The Miracle Life: Begin your path to inner freedom so you can truly be happy and learn to love the life you have while you create the life you want
Download or read book Factfulness written by Hans Rosling and published by Flatiron Books. This book was released on 2018-04-03 with total page 353 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER “One of the most important books I’ve ever read—an indispensable guide to thinking clearly about the world.” – Bill Gates “Hans Rosling tells the story of ‘the secret silent miracle of human progress’ as only he can. But Factfulness does much more than that. It also explains why progress is so often secret and silent and teaches readers how to see it clearly.” —Melinda Gates "Factfulness by Hans Rosling, an outstanding international public health expert, is a hopeful book about the potential for human progress when we work off facts rather than our inherent biases." - Former U.S. President Barack Obama Factfulness: The stress-reducing habit of only carrying opinions for which you have strong supporting facts. When asked simple questions about global trends—what percentage of the world’s population live in poverty; why the world’s population is increasing; how many girls finish school—we systematically get the answers wrong. So wrong that a chimpanzee choosing answers at random will consistently outguess teachers, journalists, Nobel laureates, and investment bankers. In Factfulness, Professor of International Health and global TED phenomenon Hans Rosling, together with his two long-time collaborators, Anna and Ola, offers a radical new explanation of why this happens. They reveal the ten instincts that distort our perspective—from our tendency to divide the world into two camps (usually some version of us and them) to the way we consume media (where fear rules) to how we perceive progress (believing that most things are getting worse). Our problem is that we don’t know what we don’t know, and even our guesses are informed by unconscious and predictable biases. It turns out that the world, for all its imperfections, is in a much better state than we might think. That doesn’t mean there aren’t real concerns. But when we worry about everything all the time instead of embracing a worldview based on facts, we can lose our ability to focus on the things that threaten us most. Inspiring and revelatory, filled with lively anecdotes and moving stories, Factfulness is an urgent and essential book that will change the way you see the world and empower you to respond to the crises and opportunities of the future. --- “This book is my last battle in my life-long mission to fight devastating ignorance...Previously I armed myself with huge data sets, eye-opening software, an energetic learning style and a Swedish bayonet for sword-swallowing. It wasn’t enough. But I hope this book will be.” Hans Rosling, February 2017.
Download or read book Here s the Deal written by Kellyanne Conway and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2024-10-29 with total page 512 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: INSTANT #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER “Part personal chronicle and part political journey…a candid assessment of some of her colleagues in the White House and the media.” —The Washington Post Among the Trump era’s savviest insiders, one name stands especially tall: Kellyanne. As a highly respected pollster for corporate and Republican clients and a frequent television talk show guest, Kellyanne Conway had already established herself as one of the brightest lights on the national political scene when Donald Trump asked her to run his presidential campaign. She agreed, delivering him to the White House, becoming the first woman in American history to manage a winning presidential campaign, and changing the American landscape forever. Who she is, how she did it, and who tried to stop her is a fascinating story of personal triumph and political intrigue that has never been told…until now. In Here’s The Deal, Kellyanne takes you on a journey all the way to the White House and beyond with her trademark sharp wit, raw honesty, and level eye. It’s all here: what it’s like to be dissected on national television. How to outsmart the media mob. How to outclass the crazy critics. How to survive and succeed male-dominated industries. What happens when the perils of social media really hit home. And what happens when the divisions across the country start playing out in one’s own family. In this open and vulnerable account, Kellyanne turns the camera on herself. What she has to share—about our politics, about the media, about her time in the White House, and about her personal journey—is an astonishing glimpse of visibility and vulnerability, of professional and personal highs and lows, and ultimately, of triumph.
Download or read book So Here s the Thing written by Alyssa Mastromonaco and published by Twelve. This book was released on 2019-03-05 with total page 184 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the New York Times bestselling author of Who Thought This Was a Good Idea? comes a fun, frank book of reflections, essays, and interviews on topics important to young women, ranging from politics and career to motherhood, sisterhood, and making and sustaining relationships of all kinds in the age of social media. Alyssa Mastromonaco is back with a bold, no-nonsense, and no-holds-barred twenty-first-century girl's guide to life, tackling the highs and lows of bodies, politics, relationships, moms, education, life on the internet, and pop culture. Whether discussing Barbra Streisand or The Bachelor, working in the West Wing or working on finding a wing woman, Alyssa leaves no stone unturned...and no awkward situation unexamined. Like her bestseller Who Thought This Was a Good Idea?, SO HERE'S THE THING... brings a sharp eye and outsize sense of humor to the myriad issues facing women the world over, both in and out of the workplace. Along with Alyssa's personal experiences and hard-won life lessons, interviews with women like Monica Lewinsky, Susan Rice, and Chelsea Handler round out this modern woman's guide to, well, just about everything you can think of.
Download or read book People We Meet on Vacation written by Emily Henry and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2021-05-11 with total page 401 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Book Lovers and Beach Read comes a sparkling novel that will leave you with the warm, hazy afterglow usually reserved for the best vacations. Two best friends. Ten summer trips. One last chance to fall in love. Poppy and Alex. Alex and Poppy. They have nothing in common. She’s a wild child; he wears khakis. She has insatiable wanderlust; he prefers to stay home with a book. And somehow, ever since a fateful car share home from college many years ago, they are the very best of friends. For most of the year they live far apart—she’s in New York City, and he’s in their small hometown—but every summer, for a decade, they have taken one glorious week of vacation together. Until two years ago, when they ruined everything. They haven't spoken since. Poppy has everything she should want, but she’s stuck in a rut. When someone asks when she was last truly happy, she knows, without a doubt, it was on that ill-fated, final trip with Alex. And so, she decides to convince her best friend to take one more vacation together—lay everything on the table, make it all right. Miraculously, he agrees. Now she has a week to fix everything. If only she can get around the one big truth that has always stood quietly in the middle of their seemingly perfect relationship. What could possibly go wrong? Named a Most Anticipated Book of 2021 by Newsweek ∙ Oprah Magazine ∙ The Skimm ∙ Marie Claire ∙ Parade ∙ The Wall Street Journal ∙ Chicago Tribune ∙ PopSugar ∙ BookPage ∙ BookBub ∙ Betches ∙ SheReads ∙ Good Housekeeping ∙ BuzzFeed ∙ Business Insider ∙ Real Simple ∙ Frolic ∙ and more!
Download or read book Here s to Your Dreams written by Dave Hollis and published by Thomas Nelson. This book was released on 2022-11-08 with total page 36 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this adventure picture book that reinforces a child's self-esteem, father of four and New York Times bestselling author Dave Hollis draws on the themes of his popular video series "Teatime with Noah" to help kids believe in themselves, have courage, and chase after their dreams. The story begins with one of Daddy and Noah's beloved father-daughter tea parties, as Daddy encourages young Noah to follow her dreams. Young readers will delight to see the tea party transform into a fantastical adventure as Noah discovers that she wants to be a ship captain. But soon everything goes wrong. Noah doesn't know how to be a captain, and she doesn't even have a ship! When she starts to build her own, things go from bad to worse. Through each hardship, Daddy guides Noah, empowering her to ride the waves of life with courage. With vivid illustrations from Arief Putra and whimsical rhymes, Here's to Your Dreams! Is for ages 4 to 8 Encourages children to explore their own interests, pursue their dreams, and overcome obstacles Is a conversation-starter for topics such as self-esteem, bravery, and personal growth Is perfect for creating special daddy-daughter moments Is a great gift for birthdays, baby showers, adoption parties, gender reveal parties, and Father's Day With a fun and entertaining style, Dave Hollis tells a rollicking adventure story that encourages boys and girls to believe in themselves, not be afraid to make mistakes, and use their gifts--because nothing is out of their reach.
Download or read book Jeff Foxworthy s Redneck Dictionary written by Jeff Foxworthy and published by Fawcett. This book was released on 2009-06-24 with total page 161 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Hey, you! The one holding the book. Have you ever seen a volume like this? Well, whether you realize it or not, it’s the one you’ve been waiting for. Jeff Foxworthy’s Redneck Dictionary will teach you how to speak this unique Southern dialect fluently. Whether you’re blue-collar or hoity-toity, swimming in cash or betting your bottom dollar, a little bit country or a lot of city slicker, this practical reference to redneck words and turns of phrases will give you hours of laughs. So expand your horizons and learn another language with this fun, instructive, and hilariously illustrated book as your guide. After all, speaking redneck is a heck of a lot easier than speaking French!
