Download or read book Festive As F ck written by Weldon Owen and published by Weldon Owen International. This book was released on 2023-10-03 with total page 130 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Let’s face it - the holidays can be stressful. When the peppermint latte won’t cut it, you might find yourself in need of something to stab. A LOT. Now, you can release your holiday anxiety with some truly irreverent and silly sentiments, and make a couple of presents in the process! Featuring 20 patterns from the crafting world’s most bad-ass cross-stitchers, this book has everything from a simple “Ho” ornament to a sampler featuring Clark Griswold’s famous “Hallelujah, holy shit, where’s the Tylenol?” There is no previous experience required here! In addition to simple instructions and clear, easy-to-follow patterns, you get a basic lesson in cross-stitch technique, so anyone can make these designs. Stitch your stress away with a little “Hello Drunk, I’m Christmas” for your tree, or make a “Deck the Halls and Not Your Family” for your sibling. And above all, have a Happy F*cking Holiday! TOP DESIGNERS: Patterns created by some of the f*cking best-selling cross-stitch designers and influencers on Etsy 20 FESTIVE PATTERNS: Festive As F*ck includes 20 hilariously sassy patterns to help ease the stress of the holiday season EASY-TO-FOLLOW-DESIGNS: With simple instructions and clear and easy-to-follow patterns, even a novice potty-mouth can enjoy this filthy holiday fun INSPIRING IMAGES: Full-color images of the finished projects help ensure success and offer ideas of how to frame and display your festive artwork THE PERFECT SNARKY GIFT: Make the best f*cking gifts of the season with hilarious and irreverent cross stitch designs that will make anyone laugh their ass off.

Download or read book Over the Holidays written by Sandra Harper and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2009-10-06 with total page 338 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The best holiday traditions are meant to be broken. It's only December 1, and Vanessa Clayton has been dreading Christmas since she spotted tinseled trees at her local mall in September. Thankfully, she and her husband, JT, can't afford to drag their twin boys across the country to New England for the annual celebration at her stuffy sister-in-law Patience's home. Not that Vanessa has prepared a proper Christmas for her family in years, and she has less time than ever since she agreed to consult on the script of a local play. Her older sister, Thea, is no help -- she'd rather make art and flirt with surfers than babysit her nine-year-old nephews. Then Patience drops a holiday stress bomb: Her family will come to California instead. In between "baking" cinnamon rolls for the school potluck and overbearing Patience testing her patience, Vanessa can't stop thinking about the difficult but charming playwright at work. Meanwhile, Patience's teenage daughter, Libby, obsesses over a college boy she has met by the pool, and Thea searches desperately for the meaning of Christmas -- for her latest installation, of course. As their holiday plans go comically awry, these four women discover the true spirit of the season is hidden in every festive surprise.

Download or read book Happy F cking Holidays written by Sasha O'hara and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2016-11 with total page 64 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the creator of the Best Seller Calm the Fck Down 'Tis the season to get snarky! It's that time again. Time to put on your elastic waistband pants, spike your eggnog, and brace yourself for the crazy "Holidaze". Why let the dark days of winter get you down when you can enjoy your own cynical and sassy Christmas coloring adventure? This holiday season, color the things you can't say and still keep Peace on Earth. Happy fucking Holidays is an irreverent and subversive take on Christmas and is the perfect way to unwind and relax for Christmas. It's an ideal gift, for anyone who is stressed, and for those with a subversive and irreverent sense of humor. Enjoy these humorous illustrations that let you fill your holiday season with inappropriate and unapologetic joy. Includes 26 single-sided adult coloring pages and 2 color test pages. Illustrations range from Simple to complex to color, and most are moderate in detail. Irreverent Images include: Santa, ornaments, a cat, a snowman, an Elf, candy canes, wreaths, reindeer, and many more... Sassy sayings include: It's beginning to feel a lot like fuck this, I peed in your eggnog, sweet and twisted, naughty, kiss my ass, fat judgmental bastard, sleigh me, and many more humorous and subversive sayings.... For more information, for free coloring page downloads, contests and more, visit www.sashaohara.com CONTAINS ADULT LANGUAGE. NOT INTENDED FOR CHILDREN.

Download or read book Forbidden Temptation written by Kaylee Monroe and published by Kaylee Monroe. This book was released on 2023-09-04 with total page 145 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Retired Marine, Manning Reid, had been my father’s best friend for as long as I could remember. But now, with my father gone, I’m left to run his beloved bar, Sullivan’s. I’m also stuck working with a hot, tough, impenetrable man I haven’t seen in years who has a way of making me desire things that should be forbidden between us. Manning is grumpy, over-protective, and built like sin. A veritable daddy . . . one who refuses to see me as anything more than the little girl I’d once been, no matter how hard I try to convince him otherwise. He has a way of pushing all my buttons, so I push back harder, and end up unleashing all those dark, sensual cravings he can no longer deny. It’s everything I’ve ever wanted from him, and more. I want to be his, but Manning insists I’m too young for him, that I deserve so much better than a man as jaded as him. That’s where he’s wrong . . . he’s the perfect man for me, and I’ll do whatever it takes to prove it. Forbidden Temptation is a steamy age gap, dad's best friend romance with a guaranteed happily ever after!

Download or read book disposable causes written by Kristoco and published by PublishAmerica. This book was released on 2011-12-09 with total page 142 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this heart wrenching truth of what it’s like to walk amongst society as one of the invisible, Kristoco brings the words and sights of real life on the unforgiving streets to us in “Disposable Causes”. You’ll feel the hopelessness, sense the fight and experience the sadness that so many succumb to in a nation that prides itself as the “Super Power” of the world. Through his words, you’ll feel that pull between denial and empathy. You’ll take on a new sense of the feelings you have about your own life and hopefully a stronger conviction for your fellow man.

Download or read book Horrific Holidays A Collection of Five Terrors written by Aiden Merchant and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2020-02-28 with total page 94 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this first volume of HORRIFIC HOLIDAYS, Merchant tells of cannibalistic grocery baggers, violently jealous lovers, pain-bringing cultists, and more. HORRIFIC HOLIDAYS features five short stories and promises to be a gruesome ride. ""I read this gripping collection in one sitting...sspecially thankful to see Merchant taking risks in publishing this horror-only collection which differs from his previous books."" (Cassandra Vella via Goodreads) ""...one the bloodiest, gory, cannibalistic set of stories I've ever read."" (Kim Napolitano via Goodreads) ""...these stories are truly gripping."" (Syeda Sumayya Tariq via Goodreads) ""...I was too immersed to stop...was it ever hard to put this book down!"" (Amanda Turner via Goodreads)

Download or read book Holiday in Death written by J. D. Robb and published by Penguin. This book was released on 1998-06-01 with total page 336 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Lieutenant Eve Dallas tails a serial killer who has a passion for the "Twelve Days of Christmas" in this novel in the #1 New York Times bestselling In Death series. No one likes to be alone during the holidays. For New York's most posh dating service, Personally Yours, it is the season to bring lonely hearts together. But Lieutenant Eve Dallas, on the trail of a ritualistic serial killer who likes to dress up as Santa Claus, has made a disturbing discovery: all of the victims have been traced to Personally Yours. As the murders continue, Eve enters into an elite world of people searching for their one true love. A world where the power of love leads men and women into the ultimate act of betrayal...

Download or read book Forbidden Love written by Kaylee Monroe and published by Kaylee Monroe. This book was released on 2023-09-04 with total page 578 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A COLLECTION OF 4 STEAMY AGE GAP ROMANCES FORBIDDEN CRUSH: I’m her boss, her father’s best friend, and far too old to want someone as young as her. When my best friend asked me to hire his daughter who was down on her luck, I didn’t hesitate to extend the offer, especially when I was in need of a new assistant. At twenty-three, she was young and vibrant . . . and far more irresistible than the young, teenaged girl I’d remembered her to be. Hiring Ashley was the best and worst decision of my life. The best decision because Ashley proved to be an amazing, invaluable assistant, anticipating my needs as her boss before I even expressed them. The worst decision because she was temptation personified, and when she made the first move and kissed me, I cracked under all that sensual tension and took everything she was offering, and more, until we were both too far gone to turn back. All hell breaks loose when her father finds out . . . but that’s nothing compared to the unexpected bombshell Ashley drops on me that changes everything. I’m going to be a daddy. FORBIDDEN TEMPTATION: Retired Marine, Manning Reid, had been my father’s best friend for as long as I could remember. But now, with my father gone, I’m left to run his beloved bar, Sullivan’s. I’m also stuck working with a hot, tough, impenetrable man I haven’t seen in years who has a way of making me desire things that should be forbidden between us. Manning is grumpy, over-protective, and built like sin. A veritable daddy . . . one who refuses to see me as anything more than the little girl I’d once been, no matter how hard I try to convince him otherwise. He has a way of pushing all my buttons, so I push back harder, and end up unleashing all those dark, sensual cravings he can no longer deny. It’s everything I’ve ever wanted from him, and more. I want to be his, but Manning insists I’m too young for him, that I deserve so much better than a man as jaded as him. That’s where he’s wrong . . . he’s the perfect man for me, and I’ll do whatever it takes to prove it. FORBIDDEN ATTRACTION: Ever since I was a teenager, I’ve had a thing for my best friend’s hot dad, Sutton. Now that I’m in my twenties and he’s divorced, there is no denying our attraction, despite our almost twenty year age gap. Except Sutton is hell-bent on being a good guy and keeping things platonic between us. What he doesn’t count on is my single-minded determination to be a bad girl and seduce him, until he can’t resist me any longer. When we find ourselves stranded at a resort and sharing a room, nothing will stop me from finally getting what I want. Sutton is everything I’ve fantasized about, and more, but when he’s forced to make an impossible decision, will he choose me, or walk away from everything we could be together? FORBIDDEN PROMISES: I never would have imagined being trapped in an elevator with my father’s best friend would ignite desires that we both were unable to deny. But all that lust between us came tumbling out, and despite our scorching hot attraction, and even steamier tryst, I swore it was a one-time thing. Never to happen again. At least that’s what I told myself. Kurt, however, didn’t feel the same. He was possessive and deliciously dominant, leaving no doubts in my mind that regardless of our age difference, and him being a long-time family friend and his daughter being my bestie, that I was the woman he wanted. I found myself in his bed on a regular basis, until I felt utterly consumed and addicted to him. And even when I swore it was the end, there was no walking away from this man . . . Because Kurt Blackwell was now my baby daddy.

Download or read book Friends Without Benefits written by Dena Blake and published by Bold Strokes Books Inc. This book was released on 2018-12-11 with total page 272 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Dex Putnam has been in love with her best friend Grace Standish since the fifth grade. Grace is smart, beautiful, and most unfortunately, straight. Life would’ve been perfect if Grace had only loved her back, but when Grace gets married, Dex knows it’s time to move on. Then Dex meets Emma Lawson, and her life takes a whole new direction. Only trouble is, she never expected to have to choose between her best friend and her new love. . Emma Lawson is successful and happy except when it comes to love. She’s been alone for a year and has no intention of giving love another chance, until falling for Dex changes everything. When Grace comes between them, Emma refuses to be second best. Can Emma show Dex what true love really looks like?

Download or read book Super Subversive Cross Stitch written by Julie Jackson and published by Sasquatch Books. This book was released on 2021-11-02 with total page 75 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the OG of the Subversive Cross Stitch movement (and brand of the same name) comes Super Subversive Cross Stitch. Featuring 50 easy-to-make designs—both brand-new patterns and fan favorites—stitched together with trademark wit. Don't freak out. Don't make this about you. May your life be as amazing as you pretend it is on Facebook. What fresh hell is this? Not today, Satan. Super Subversive Cross Stitch is here to provide crafters with the snarky inspirations they love to stitch. The book features 50 patterns—23 brand-new designs and 27 fan favorites—along with easy-to-follow instructions for the beginner and fonts and designs for adventurous crafters looking to customize their creations. It recasts a traditional, dare we say "sentimental," craft into a modern, relevant art form. It's the latest offering in the Subversive Cross Stitch brand, beloved by legions of DIYers. Less messy than graffiti, Super Subversive Cross Stitch allows crafters to adorn walls with political pith and irreverent twists on classic quotes ("I think, therefore I drink," "Let the good times be gin"). “This book reminds me that I'm not alone in being crafty and sweary all at the same time. Pass the gin.” —Jenny Lawson, New York Times–bestselling author of Furiously Happy, Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, and Broken "Julie is the true OG of the subversive cross-stitch movement. Modern cross-stitch design would not be what it is today without her. She is a positive and supportive force in the cross-stitch community, providing mentorship to other designers and welcoming new stitchers into the hobby. I am so excited about her new book!" —Stephanie Rohr, author of Feminist Cross-Stitch

Download or read book Doing It Wrong written by William N. Rappa Jr. and published by AuthorHouse. This book was released on 2008-02-15 with total page 516 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Have you ever known one of those individuals who loves his family and friends too much, is passionate about his "calling," is entirely too sensitive to the plight of others, and is totally mystified by those who live by the "everything in moderation" mantra? If not, allow me to introduce James Thurber Russell. Doing It Wrong?,relates theodysseyof a dedicated, passionate, educator; a father figure to his students; a magnetic personality possessing an outrageous,uncensored sense of humor; a loving husband, father, son, and friend who constantly seeks his conception of the "ideal" while being detoured by the "real" world. The events and people populating his world, the evaluation of his and their many life-altering decisions, and the consequences of those actions reveal the story of a man who thought he was doing it so right in a world that told him he just might be doing it wrong. The novel explores JT's growing disenchantmentwith the profession he once loved, which he nowviews as compromised and misdirected by well intentioned, misguided, outside political influences.The taleexamines the bonds and bounds of loyalty, loss and survival, the responsibilities and demands of intimacy, poor life choices and second chances,"wanting" as opposed to "having," predestinationand free will, selflessness versus selfishness, and the illusion of happy endings. The dialogue is frank, touching, humorous, sexual, and perhaps shocking. Strong character development lends itself to a genuine care and concern for some characters and a distaste and replusion for others. Welcome to JT Russell's world of Doing It Wrong?.

Download or read book The Stranger You Seek written by Amanda Kyle Williams and published by Bantam. This book was released on 2012-05-29 with total page 402 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “[Amanda Kyle Williams] keeps the suspense taut and the humor snarky, with an ending that will have you slapping your foreheard over clues you missed.”—The Atlanta Journal-Constitution In the sweltering heat of an Atlanta summer, a killer is pushing the city to its breaking point, preying on the unsuspecting, writing taunting letters to the media, promising more death. Desperate to stop the Wishbone Killer, A.P.D. lieutenant Aaron Rauser turns to the one person he knows can penetrate a deranged mind: Keye Street, an ex–FBI profiler and former addict who now picks up jobs where she can get them. But the last thing Keye wants is to be pulled into the firestorm of Atlanta’s worst nightmare. And then it suddenly becomes clear that the hunter has become the hunted—and the stranger she seeks is far closer than she ever dared imagine. Praise for The Stranger You Seek “The best fictional female P.I. since Sue Grafton’s Kinsey Millhone. And with its shocking triple-twist climax, this is the best private eye debut since Dennis Lehane’s A Drink Before the War.”—The Plain Dealer “A creepy, suspenseful, breathtaking ride . . . [Keye] Street is a unique and worthy addition to the rich tradition of damaged and tough private detectives.”—Associated Press “An explosive, unpredictable, and psychologically complex thriller.”—Publishers Weekly (starred review)

Download or read book Kiss Her Once for Me written by Alison Cochrun and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2022-11 with total page 368 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The author of the “swoon-worthy debut” (Harper’s Bazaar) The Charm Offensive returns with a festive romantic comedy about a woman who fakes an engagement with her landlord…only to fall for his sister. One year ago, recent Portland transplant Ellie Oliver had her dream job in animation and a Christmas Eve meet-cute with a woman at a bookstore that led her to fall in love over the course of a single night. But after a betrayal the next morning and the loss of her job soon after, she finds herself adrift, alone, and desperate for money. Finding work at a local coffee shop, she’s just getting through the days—until Andrew, the shop’s landlord, proposes a shocking, drunken plan: a marriage of convenience that will give him his recent inheritance and alleviate Ellie’s financial woes and isolation. They make a plan to spend the holidays together at his family cabin to keep up the ruse. But when Andrew introduces his new fiancée to his sister, Ellie is shocked to discover it’s Jack—the mysterious woman she fell for over the course of one magical Christmas Eve the year before. Now, Ellie must choose between the safety of a fake relationship and the risk of something real. Perfect for fans of Written in the Stars and One Day in December, Kiss Her Once for Me is the queer holiday rom-com that you’ll want to cozy up with next to the fire.

Download or read book Truth in Advertising written by John Kenney and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2013-01-22 with total page 336 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “F. Scott Fitzgerald said that there are no second acts in American lives. I have no idea what that means but I believe that in quoting him I appear far more intelligent than I am. I don’t know about second acts, but I do think we get second chances, fifth chances, eighteenth chances. Every day we get a fresh chance to live the way we want.” FINBAR DOLAN is lost and lonely. Except he doesn’t know it. Despite escaping his blue-collar Boston upbringing to carve out a mildly successful career at a Madison Avenue ad agency, he’s a bit of a mess and closing in on forty. He’s recently called off a wedding. Now, a few days before Christmas, he’s forced to cancel a long-postponed vacation in order to write, produce, and edit a Super Bowl commercial for his diaper account in record time. Fortunately, it gets worse. Fin learns that his long-estranged and once-abusive father has fallen ill. And that neither of his brothers or his sister intend to visit. It’s a wake-up call for Fin to reevaluate the choices he’s made, admit that he’s falling for his coworker Phoebe, question the importance of diapers in his life, and finally tell the truth about his past. Truth in Advertising is debut novelist John Kenney’s wickedly funny, honest, at times sardonic, and ultimately moving story about the absurdity of corporate life, the complications of love, and the meaning of family.

Download or read book The Pride Series written by Shelly Laurenston and published by Kensington. This book was released on 2020-02-25 with total page 1644 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Animal magnetism has a whole new meaning when the menagerie of shapeshifters in Shelly Laurenston’s Pride series prowls, sniffs, howls, and roars into hot-blooded action . . . THE MANE EVENT NYPD cop Desiree “Dez” MacDermot knows she’s changed a lot since she palled around with her childhood buddy, Mace. But it’s fair to say that Mace has changed even more. It isn't just those intensely gold eyes, or the six-four, built-like-a-Navy Seal body. It's something in the way he sniffs her neck and purrs, making her entire body tingle . . . THE BEAST IN HIM Some things are so worth waiting for. Like the moment when Jessica Ward “accidentally” bumps into heartthrob Bobby Ray Smith and shows him just how far she’s come since high school. Now Jess is a success on her own terms. And she can enjoy a romp with a big, bad wolf and walk away. Easy. Or so she thinks . . . THE MANE ATTRACTION Weddings have the strangest effect on people. Exhibit 1: Sissy Mae waking up in Mitch Shaw's bed the morning after her brother Bobby Ray’s nuptials. Exhibit 2: the gunmen trying to kill Mitch. Exhibit 3: Sissy Mae escorting a bleeding yet sexy lion shifter to her Tennessee Pack’s turf for safe keeping. It doesn't help that Mitch's appraising gaze makes her feel like the most desirable creature on earth . . . THE MANE SQUEEZE Growing up on the tough Philly streets, Gwen O’Neill knows how to fend for herself. But what is she supposed to do with a nice, suburban Jersey boy who has a tendency to turn into a massive Grizzly? Despite his menacing growl and four-inch claws, Gwen finds Lachlan “Lock” MacRyrie cute and really sweet. He actually watches out for her, and unlike the rest of her out-of-control family, manages not to morbidly embarrass her. Too bad cats don’t believe in forever . . . Praise for the Novels of Shelly Laurenston “Hot and humorous.” —USAToday.com “Shelly Laurenston’s shifter books are full of oddball characters, strong females with attitude and dialogue that can have you laughing out loud.” —The Philadelphia Inquirer “A little bit of everything . . . humor, passion, and suspense with a touch of paranormal.” —FreshFiction

Download or read book DecorHATE for the Holidays written by Bree Kraemer and published by Bree Kraemer. This book was released on 2021-11-22 with total page 91 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: What happens when one neighbor likes to decorate their house for Christmas and the other neighbor hates it? A scorching holiday that neither will ever forget, that's what. Tate Frost hates that Caroline Hyatt has millions of lights and decorations on her house. What he hates more, is that he can't stop thinking about her. She's too friendly, too happy, and just too appealing for him. Caroline isn't trying to drive her new neighbor crazy with her decorations, but she does want him to notice her. Because she'd sure as heck noticed him. So much so that he's all she thinks about anymore other than her cookie business. Will these two ever figure out that it's a thin line between hate and love?

Download or read book Subversive Cross Stitch written by Julie Jackson and published by Chronicle Books. This book was released on 2006-04-13 with total page 104 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Needlework is America's most popular craft, with about 38 million stitchers according to the Hobby Industry of America. Subversive Cross Stitch puts a 21st-century spin to this age-old art. Step-by-step instructions for 35 hilarious projects are sure to appeal to the savvy stitch-n-bitch generation.