Download or read book Fat Vampire written by Adam Rex and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2010 with total page 340 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: After being bitten by a vampire, not only is fifteen-year-old Doug doomed eternally to be fat, but now he must also save himself from the desperate host of a public-access-cable vampire-hunting television show that is on the verge of cancellation.

Download or read book Fat Vampire written by Johnny B Truant and published by . This book was released on 2024-04-29 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When overweight treadmill salesman Reginald Baskin meets a vampire, he wakes to discover he's become the slowest, weakest, most out-of-shape vampire ever created ... doomed to "heal" to his corpulent self for all of eternity.

Download or read book Fat White Vampire Blues written by Andrew Fox and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 2003-07-01 with total page 354 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: He’s undead, overweight, and can’t get a date Vampire, nosferatu, creature of the night—whatever you call him—Jules Duchon has lived (so to speak) in New Orleans far longer than there have been drunk coeds on Bourbon Street. Weighing in at a whopping four hundred and fifty pounds, swelled up on the sweet, rich blood of people who consume the fattiest diet in the world, Jules is thankful he can’t see his reflection in a mirror. When he turns into a bat, he can’t get his big ol’ butt off the ground. What’s worse, after more than a century of being undead, he’s watched his neighborhood truly go to hell—and now, a new vampire is looking to drive him out altogether. See, Jules had always been an equal opportunity kind of vampire. And while he would admit that the blood of a black woman is sweeter than the blood of a white man, Jules never drank more than his fair share of either. Enter Malice X . Young, cocky, and black, Malice warns Jules that his days of feasting on sisters and brothers are over. He tells Jules he’d better confine himself to white victims—or else face the consequences. And then, just to prove he isn’t kidding, Malice burns Jules’s house to the ground. With the help of Maureen, the morbidly obese, stripper-vampire who made him, and Doodlebug, an undead cross-dresser who (literally) flies in from the coast—Jules must find a way to contend with the hurdles that life throws at him . . . without getting a stake through the heart. It’s enough to give a man the blues.

Download or read book My FANGtastically Evil Vampire Pet written by Mo O'Hara and published by Square Fish. This book was released on 2019-02-26 with total page 224 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: My FANGtastically Evil Vampire Pet, the epic spin-off of Mo O'Hara's New York Times bestselling My Big Fat Zombie Goldfish series features an aspiring evil scientist, paranormal pets, and plenty of hilarious summer camp shenanigans. Welcome to Camp Mwhaaa-haa-ha-a-watha! This summer is going to be epic. Epically evil, that is. ‘Cause I’m going to Evil Scientist Summer Camp! No annoying little brothers. No annoying zombie goldfish. Just me, my best friend Sanj, our notebook of evil plans, and my truly evil (and totally forbidden) vampire kitten Fang. We’ve got it all planned out. Okay, so maybe I didn’t expect for the totally not-evil Geeky Girl to show up, or for Sanj to find a new partner to work with, but there’s no way I’m going to let them ruin my summer. Evil Emperor of the Camp, here I come! Signed, The Great and Powerful Mark

Download or read book Vampires Never Get Old written by Zoraida Córdova and published by Imprint. This book was released on 2020-09-22 with total page 282 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Eleven fresh vampire stories from young adult fiction’s leading voices fill this bestselling anthology—including V.E. Schwab's First Kill, now a major Netflix adaptation! "Boundary-pushing... Stories that stake a new claim on old tropes." —Publishers Weekly, starred review In this delicious new collection, you’ll find stories about lurking vampires of social media, rebellious vampires hungry for more than just blood, eager vampires coming out—and going out for their first kill—and other bold, breathtaking, dangerous, dreamy, eerie, iconic, powerful creatures of the night. Welcome to the evolution of the vampire—and a revolution on the page. Vampires Never Get Old includes stories by authors both bestselling and acclaimed, including Samira Ahmed, Dhonielle Clayton, Zoraida Córdova and Natalie C. Parker, Tessa Gratton, Heidi Heilig, Julie Murphy, Mark Oshiro, Rebecca Roanhorse, Laura Ruby, Victoria “V. E.” Schwab, and Kayla Whaley. An Imprint Book "Vampire fans, sink your teeth into this satisfying collection." —Kirkus Reviews

Download or read book When Life Gives You Vampires written by Gloria Duke and published by Sourcebooks, Inc.. This book was released on 2022-10-04 with total page 278 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Bridget Jones for the vampire obsessed: fans of Olivia Dade, Tessa Bailey, and Julie Murphy will love to sink their teeth into this charming romantic comedy. Single (plus size) vampire, desperately in search of a life. Twenty-five year old Lily Baines is used to waking up hungover, overweight, and underemployed. Waking up with fangs? Not so much. But when a little light necking has more serious consequences than she ever imagined, Lily's determined to get to the bottom of it, or die (again) trying. Tristan hadn't meant to turn Lily—it's against vampire law—but now that she's here, they need to team up to save both their hides. They strike an uneasy truce, fending off other vampires, Lily's work-rival-turned-slayer, and her mother's tone-deaf romance and fitness advice...all while Lily faces down her insecurities about the fact that she lives in a diet-obsessed world with a body that will never age, never die, and never change. Falling for her maddeningly gorgeous sire? Easy. Surviving an ancient vampire Master determined to see her twice-dead? Piece of cake. But can Lily ever truly learn to love the woman she'll be forever more? Perfect for fans looking for: a little Halloween spirit body positive representation enemies to lovers vibes

Download or read book Araminta Spookie 4 Vampire Brat written by Angie Sage and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2007-09 with total page 210 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Things get even spookier at Spookie House when Uncle Drac's nephew Max comes to stay for a week and Araminta goes on a combined werewolf and vampire hunting expedition.

Download or read book Any Fin Is Possible My Big Fat Zombie Goldfish written by Mo O'Hara and published by Feiwel & Friends. This book was released on 2016-03-01 with total page 208 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Get ready for some more fishy mayhem in this fourth hilarious illustrated chapter book in Mo O'Hara's New York Times bestselling series. When Tom and his best friend Pradeep rescued Frankie the goldfish from Tom's older brother's evil science experiment by zapping him back to life with a battery, they never expected Tom's pet to become a BIG FAT ZOMBIE GOLDFISH with incredible hypnotic powers...but it's helpful when they are thwarting his big brother's evil plans. Tom and Pradeep are about to find out the truth behind the ancient Egyption Curse of the Cat King, when their evil big brothers crash their overnight stay at the history museum. Dodging booby traps, avoiding evil, possibly mummified kittens...it's all in a night's work for a zombie goldfish! Then, there's something fishy going on at sports day. All the athletic kids seem to be losing their sporting abilities, while Tom's evil big brother Mark has suddenly become amazing at every single sport. Can Frankie help Pradeep and Tom to foil Mark's evil plans? Or will Mark and his pet vampire kitten, Fang, take home the gold?

Download or read book Fat Vampire 2 written by Johnny B Truant and published by . This book was released on 2024-04-29 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Angels and Demons, Myths and Legends... It's been six months since Reginald Baskin became a vampire too fat to live happily with the beautiful undead - six months in which Reginald and his two-thousand-year-old maker Maurice have learned that safety does not come with power. These days, Maurice is Deacon of the Vampire Nation, but plenty beneath Maurice are still plotting to depose him ... or dispose of him. But when a new and ancient threat rears its head, the Nation faces extinction and the truest of deaths - and Reginald, Maurice, and Nikki might be the only vampires who can stop it. This sequel to the cult hit picks up where Fat Vampire left off, following a trio of unlikely heroes down a path of myth and superstition into truths that have been buried for centuries - pitting the world's darkness against the unfathomable power of its angry creators.

Download or read book Fat Vampire 6 Survival of the Fattest written by Johnny B. Truant and published by Johnny B. Truant. This book was released on 2024-05-01 with total page 222 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Era of Nighttime Has Begun... Forty years have passed since the end of the vampire/human war. Vampires have taken over the planet and have settled in, making themselves comfortable in the infrastructure their predecessors built, with just a few adjustments to ensure a permanent night. Humans still exist, tightly controlled, because the alpha species needs to eat. But even after four decades of peace, Reginald can't shake his conviction that the war never really ended — that the archive he still holds in his blood warns of an ominous change on the horizon. As old foes rise, the power structures of both races begin to falter and the very existence of life on Earth (both hot-blooded and undead) hangs in the balance. Rebel humans have developed new and frightening weapons, and they aren't afraid to use them even if it could mean the end of everything. And Reginald Baskin — always an outcast, always neglected — may be the only chance to stop it. But as Reginald steps into his destined role as a leader, he faces a hideous inevitability that even he never saw coming … and that he may be too late to prevent.

Download or read book Dunkin the Vampire Slayer Something Porcine This Way Comes written by Greg Crites and published by greg crites. This book was released on 2006-03 with total page 177 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: What could possibly bring together a 450 pound vampire slayer, a drunken, acid-tongued detective, a good natured carpenter, bureaucratic vampires, giant anacondas, mutant vampire bats, Ho Ho's, Twinkies and 'more one-liners than a night at the comedy club'? Dunkin, the vampire slayer blends all this discordance and more into a hilarious adventure that moves from the muggy heat of Florida to the muggier heat of the Amazon.....If Carl Hiaasson, Tim Dorsey and Dave Barry collaborated on a vampire story, it may have turned out like this absurd romp.... This is part one of a trilogy. Dunkin II will begin shipping April 3rd.

Download or read book Blood Forever written by Mari Mancusi and published by Berkley. This book was released on 2012 with total page 258 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: After making a deal with the devil, Rayne and her twin sister Sunny have been given the chance to go back in time to prevent that fateful night when Sunny was bitten by vampire Magnus from ever happening.

Download or read book My Big Fat Supernatural Wedding written by P. N. Elrod and published by St. Martin's Griffin. This book was released on 2006-10-03 with total page 320 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Werewolves, vampires, witches, voodoo, Elvis---and weddings An "ordinary" wedding can get crazy enough, so can you imagine what happens when otherworldly creatures are involved? Nine of the hottest authors of paranormal fiction answer that question in this delightful collection of supernatural wedding stories. What's the seating plan when rival clans of werewolves and vampires meet under the same roof? How can a couple in the throes of love overcome traps set by feuding relatives---who are experts at voodoo? Will you have a good marriage if your high-seas wedding is held on a cursed ship? How do you deal with a wedding singer who's just a little too good at impersonating Elvis? · L. A. Banks · Jim Butcher · Rachel Caine · P. N. Elrod · Esther M. Friesner · Lori Handeland · Charlaine Harris · Sherrilyn Kenyon · Susan Krinard Shape-shifters, wizards, and magic, oh my!

Download or read book Bride of the Fat White Vampire written by Andrew Fox and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 2004-08-03 with total page 450 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: After morphing into 187 very large white rats in the name of self-preservation, Jules Duchon is back to his portly self, a member of that secret class of New Orleans citizens known as the undead. Though he would like nothing better than to spend his nights raising hell and biting flesh in his beloved French Quarter, duty calls when an exclusive club of blue blood vampires demands that the 450-pound cabbie find out who is attacking its young and beautiful members. Adding insult to injury, he has to enlist the help of a former foe: a black vampire named Preston. What’s a vampire to do? Without the love of a woman to ease his pain, Jules isn’t convinced that his undead life is worth living. He doesn’t desire Doodlebug (she may be a woman now but Jules knew her back when she was just a boy) any more than he longs for Daphne, a rat catcher who nourishes a crush the size of Jules. No, only Maureen will do. Once a beautiful stripper with nothing but curve after curve to her bodacious body, now she is mere dust in a jar. But Jules will move heaven and earth to get her back . . . even if it means pulling her back from the dead.

Download or read book Fat Vampire 4 written by Johnny B. Truant and published by . This book was released on 2013-03-10 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The SMASH HIT SERIES is now a new TV series on SYFY: Reginald The Vampire!!A New Dark Leader Has Emerged.Following Maurice's near-assassination and the overthrow of the American Vampire Council, Reginald, Maurice, and Nikki have fled to Luxembourg, where they've taken refuge under the protection of Karl Stromm and the EU Council.Things in America have continued towards chaos with no end in sight - until a coup shakes the world and a new American leader arrives with promises to restore order and derail the imminent human-vampire war.But things are not as they seem. A dangerous, genocidal faction has arisen to upset the fragile balance. The New World Order in America is not what it seems. And all the while the world's vampires face a war on two fronts: deadly, prepared human forces on one side, and their immortal creators on the other.This fresh twist on the tired old undead myth is the fourth in the Fat Vampire series by Johnny B. Truant - author of many bestselling series, including Invasion, The Beam, Unicorn Western, The Dream Engine, Robot Proletariat, and more.

Download or read book A Tangle of Hearts written by Bella Forrest and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2017-05-16 with total page 326 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Hearts will tangle, romance will ignite... Continue the journey in A Tangle of Hearts. Order now! *Beware of spoilers in the reviews below that are without spoiler alerts*

Download or read book The Awakening written by L. J. Smith and published by Hodder Children's Books. This book was released on 2010-01-01 with total page 389 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Elena's discovers her exciting new boyfriend is actually a vampire.