Download or read book Diez Cuentos Apestosos Volumen 1 written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2016-01-07 with total page 155 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Diez historias de amor, traición y ese gas verde favorito de todos en un inolvidable volumen. Para lectores adultos (maduros o no). Aproximadamente 30.000 palabras. EMBOTELLANDO PEDOS ¿Podría el poder más grande... El camino a la riqueza, más allá de nuestra imaginación más salvaje... La clave para alcanzar el más alto nivel de conciencia espiritual y la felicidad... ... Ser obtenido por pedos embotellado??? --Es nuestro secreto... --Vlad le dijo al niño pequeño. --Usa el poder con cuidado... EL CRITICO ENCULADO El culo de Zack Pimpton nunca ha estado peor, y el hecho de que el médico sea un comediante a tiempo parcial no ayuda. Por desgracia, Zack es bastante cabrón y dice lo que no debe, haciendo que el buen doctor se ponga furioso. A PUNTO DE REVENTAR Barnabus Prim ha llegado al final del camino. Ahogado en deudas y casado con una mujer odiosa que no puede ni verlo, decide hacer lo impensable. Pero encontrar el camino al más allá resulta mucho más difícil de lo que él había imaginado. EL MATRIMONIO APESTA Mackelroy Puggsley creía haberlo oído todo, hasta que un extraño hombre llamado Bilby Bloob se aparece en su vestíbulo una mañana. Cuando Bilby le pide un permiso de matrimonio para su gaseosa esposa, el viejo pone el freno. Sí, una cosa es casarte con tu novia de la secundaria, pero ¿con un pedo? ¿A quién se le puede ocurrir casarse con un pedo? --No me iré a ningún lado hasta que nos dé un permiso de matrimonio --insisitó Bilby. --¿Ah, sí? --Mackelroy se hizo sonar los nudillos. HASTA QUE EL GRAN PEDO NOS SEPARE Los temores de Helen Hubbard finalmente se han confirmado. Una mañana, durante el almuerzo en su restaurante favorito, su esposo Gary le confiesa que la ha estado engañando, y está listo para abandonarla en un instante. Cuando ella hurga en el asunto, descubre más de lo que quería saber sobre Muffy, la misteriosa amante de él. "¿¿¿Entonces me estás dejando por un pedo???", exclamó Helen. LA PREGUNTA DE 500 DÓLARES Perkins Deadwood no puede dar crédito a sus oídos. Su hijo de doce años acaba de pedirle para Navidad un pedo mascota. Y no cualquier pedo: un pedo español. ¡Ay, caramba! ¿Podrá disuadir a su hijo el vendedor de autos usados? ¿O será esta Navidad realmente apestosa? ESCAPADA DE FIN DE SEMANA Cuando Martin Dollop y Arthur Bodine parten para unas vacaciones románticas en las islas, no tienen idea de lo que les espera. Ahora se pudren en una celda de una cárcel mexicana y parece que han llegado al final del camino. Hasta el pinche guardia no les hará el honor de meterles una bala en la cabeza y les ofrece un poco de veneno para acabar con su sufrimiento. ¿Podrán los tórtolos concretar su escapada gratis de fin de semana y hacer las paces? ¿O acabarán los condenados matándose entre sí en el proceso? BUSCANDO A FLOOFY Cuando un hombre se enamora perdidamente de un pedo asesino, le resulta difícil aceptar su misteriosa partida. ¿Fue algo que dijo? ¿Algo que hizo? ¿Era su pene demasiado pequeño? Nada tiene sentido. "Te encontraré, mi querida Floofy. ¡Aunque sea lo último que haga!" EL ASPIRANTE A PEDONAUTA Hank Larmspitz tiene un plan. Bueno, más o menos. Va a ser el primer hombre en la luna, maldita sea, y va a hacerlo sin la ayuda de un traje espacial o incluso de una nave espacial. ¿Qué tiene en mente exactamente? Dan Dinkerleaf, un reportero local de KAAS-LD en Eureeka, quiere averiguarlo. Y cuando descubre las verdaderas intenciones de Hank, eso pone a prueba su paciencia. "¿En serio?", espeta. "¿No le parece que su teoría es... oh, no sé... implausible?" "Preste atención y tal vez aprenda algo." Hank hace sonar los nudillos y saca una ración de su marca favorita. PÚBLICO CAUTIVO Tres hombres, una secretaria rubia, un ascensor atascado y una serie de pedos horribles y letales. ¿Qué podría salir mal?
Download or read book The Chapped Ass Critic EPUB written by Donald Rump and published by Donald Rump. This book was released on 2013-08-24 with total page 26 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Zack Pimpton's ass never felt worse, and it doesn't help that his doctor is a part time comedian. Unfortunately, Zack is quite the bastard himself and accidentally says the wrong thing that causes the good, old doctor to snap. Intended for mature (and not so mature) audiences. Approximately 2,300 words. EXCERPT FROM THE CHAPPED-ASS CRITIC “Doc, you’ve got to help me,” a thin, wiry man named Zack Pimpton bent over the padded table and rubbed his behind. “My ass hurts really, really bad. I think I might have broken it.” A bead of sweat trickled down his forehead. “How did this happen?” Dr. Marsh asked. “I don't know. I was typing up a review when suddenly my butt began to hurt. At first it stung just a little. I tried ignoring it, but it got worse and worse until I eventually found myself here. It's terrible! I can’t believe I was able to drive over here.” He tried sitting and recoiled immediately. “Well, you're in luck! It's nothing life-threatening, that’s for sure, but I'm afraid you won’t have use of your buttocks again,” the portly doctor cracked a smile.
Download or read book Burning Magic written by Joshua Khan and published by Hachette+ORM. This book was released on 2018-01-04 with total page 393 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In Book 3 of a three-book series, when Lily, aka the "witch queen" and bat-rider extraordinaire Thorn travel to Sultanate of Fire, things go terribly wrong. Instead of celebrating a reunion with their old friend K'leef, they are thrust into royal murder, an epic quest, and a deadly battle for the throne. While investigating the murder, Lily learns shocking truths about her life that could destroy all she has achieved. Yet, among the ruins of her old life, she has the opportunity to become someone greater . . . and more terrifying. Thorn and the magnificent bat, Hades, join the timid K'leef and the idiotic Gabriel Solar in a quest to find a phoenix. These fire birds are the key to saving the sultanate, but they nest within the Shardlands. The boys must defeat not only the monsters of that magical wilderness, but also rivals eager to claim the throne for themselves. Rivals that include a renegade from House Shadow . . . Chilling surprises, ghostly encounters, and belly laughs are just some of the treats in store for readers of this burning-hot desert adventure.
Download or read book Tales from a Not So Happy Birthday written by Rachel Renée Russell and published by . This book was released on 2018 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: It's Nikki Maxwell's birthday!! Will it be a blast or a bust?
Download or read book The Chicano Latino Literary Prize written by Stephanie Fetta and published by Arte Publico Press. This book was released on 2008-01-01 with total page 352 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: ñDavid is mine!î Mrs. Renteria shouts out to her neighbors gathered about the dead but handsome young man found in the dry riverbed next to their homes in a Los Angeles barrio. ñDavid?î Tiburcio asked. ñSince when is his name David? He looks to me more like a î Tiburcio glanced at the manÍs face, ñ a Luis.î Mrs. RenteriaÍs neighbors call out a litany of names that better suit the mysterious corpse: Roberto, Antonio, Henry, Enrique, Miguel, Roy, Rafael. The very first winner of the Chicano / Latino Literary Prize in 1974, Ron AriasÍ ñThe Wetbackî uses dark humor to reflect on the appearance of a dead brown man in their midst. This landmark collection of prize-winning fiction, poetry, and drama paints a historical and aesthetic panorama of Chicana/o and Latina/o letters over a twenty-five-year period beginning in 1974 and ending in 1999. Most, but not all, of the winning entries are featured in this anthology, which also includes second- and third-place winners, as well as honorable mentions. Now entering its thirty-first year, the award has recognized a wide variety of writers, from established ones such as Juan Felipe Herrera, Michael Nava, and Helena Maria Viramontes, to those that are lesser known. Many of the pieces in this anthology are considered to be foundational texts of Chicana/o and Latina/o literature, and those that are not as widely recognized deserve more serious study and attention. Presented in chronological order, the selected writings are primarily in English, although some are written in Spanish, and others in Spanglish. Some, like Francisco X. AlarconÍs poem ñRaices / Roots,î appear in both languages: ñMis raices / las cargo / siempre / conmigo / enrolladas / me sirven / de almohada.î ñI carry / my roots / with me / all the time / rolled up / I use them / as my pillow.î In addition to the diverse array of authors, styles, and genres, the works included in this collection cover a wide range of themes, from more political issues of ethnic, gender, and class.
Download or read book Pima Bajo written by Zarina Estrada Fernández and published by . This book was released on 1996 with total page 64 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book Autobiograf a de Un Esclavo written by Juan Francisco Manzano and published by Wayne State University Press. This book was released on 1996 with total page 140 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The proceedings of ISCV'95, the successor to previous Workshops on Computer Vision, comprise 104 refereed papers on topics in optical flow, matching/stereo, motion, object recognition, low-level vision, CAD-based vision, stereo, deformable models, systems and applications, tracking, segmentation and grouping, active vision, aerial image analysis, and integration/texture. No index. Annotation copyright by Book News, Inc., Portland, OR
Download or read book The Bad Guys in Attack of the Zittens The Bad Guys 4 written by Aaron Blabey and published by Scholastic Inc.. This book was released on 2017-08-29 with total page 148 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NOW A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE! "I wish I'd had these books as a kid. Hilarious!" -- Dav Pilkey, creator of Captain Underpants and Dog ManThey may look like Bad Guys, but these wannabe heroes are doing good deeds...whether you like it or not! This New York Times bestselling illustrated series is perfect for fans of Dog Man and Captain Underpants.It's a zombie kitten apocalypse!Can the Bad Guys save the world from evil Dr. Marmalade's meowing monsters?!? They'll need help from foxy Agent Fox, a swampy secret zombie antidote, and the feistiest, toothiest, hungriest granny around. Get ready to watch the fur fly!
Download or read book The Sound of Colors written by Jimmy Liao and published by Little, Brown Books for Young Readers. This book was released on 2006-03-01 with total page 80 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A young woman losing her vision rides the subway with her dog in search of emotional healing.
Download or read book The Bad Guys in Mission Unpluckable The Bad Guys 2 written by Aaron Blabey and published by Scholastic Inc.. This book was released on 2017-02-28 with total page 150 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NOW A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE! "I wish I'd had these books as a kid. Hilarious!" -- Dav Pilkey, creator of Captain Underpants and Dog ManThey may look like Bad Guys, but these wannabe heroes are doing good deeds...whether you like it or not! This New York Times bestselling illustrated series is perfect for fans of Dog Man and Captain Underpants.The Bad Guys next mission? Rescue 10,000 chickens from a high-tech cage farm. But they are up against sizzling lasers, one feisty tarantula, and their very own Mr. Snake...who's also known as "The Chicken Swallower." What could possibly go wrong?Get ready to laugh up your lunch with the baddest bunch of do-gooders in town!
Download or read book Children s Books in Print 2007 written by and published by . This book was released on 2006 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book The House on the Lagoon written by Rosario Ferré and published by Open Road Media. This book was released on 2014-04-29 with total page 487 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Finalist for the National Book Award: “A family saga in the manner of Gabriel García Márquez,” set in Puerto Rico, from an extraordinary storyteller (The New York Times Book Review). This riveting, multigenerational epic tells the story of two families and the history of Puerto Rico through the eyes of Isabel Monfort and her husband, Quintín Mendizabal. Isabel attempts to immortalize their now-united families—and, by extension, their homeland—in a book. The tale that unfolds in her writing has layers upon layers, exploring the nature of love, marriage, family, and Puerto Rico itself. Weaving the intimate with the expansive on a teeming stage, Ferré crafts a revealing self-portrait of a man and a woman, two fiercely independent people searching for meaning and identity. As Isabel declares: “Nothing is true, nothing is false, everything is the color of the glass you’re looking through.” A book about freeing oneself from societal and cultural constraints, The House on the Lagoon also grapples with bigger issues of life, death, poverty, and racism. Mythological in its breadth and scope, this is a masterwork from an extraordinary storyteller.
Download or read book A Chance of Sunshine written by Jimi and published by Creative Publishing International. This book was released on 2000 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Living next door to each other, but never having met, two people come together for a day before fate separates them.
Download or read book Am rica s Dream written by Esmeralda Santiago and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2009-10-13 with total page 387 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: América Gonzalez is a hotel housekeeper on an island off the coast of Puerto Rico, cleaning up after wealthy foreigners who don't look her In the eye. Her alcoholic mother resents her; her married boyfriend, Correa, beats her; and their fourteen-year-old daughter thinks life would be better anywhere but with América. So when América is offered the chance to work as alive-in housekeeper and nanny for a family in Westchester County, New York, she takes it as a sign that a door to escape has been opened. Yet even as América revels in the comparative luxury of her new life, daring to care about a man other than Correa, she is faced with dramatic proof that no matter what she does, she can't get away from her past.
Download or read book Literacy Education written by Debi Prasanna Pattanayak and published by . This book was released on 1980 with total page 128 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book The Amazonian Languages written by R. M. W. Dixon and published by Cambridge University Press. This book was released on 1999-09-23 with total page 482 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Amazon Basin is arguably both one of the least-known and the most complex linguistic regions in the world. It is the home of some 300 languages belonging to around twenty language families, plus more than a dozen genetic isolates, and many of these languages (often incompletely documented and mostly endangered) show properties that constitute exceptions to received ideas about linguistic universals. This book provides an overview in a single volume of this rich and exciting linguistic area. The editors and contributors have sought to make their descriptions as clear and accessible as possible, in order to provide a basis for further research on the structural characteristics of Amazonian languages and their genetic and areal relationships, as well as a point of entry to important cross-linguistic data for the wider constituency of theoretical linguists.
Download or read book A Companion to Latina o Studies written by Juan Flores and published by John Wiley & Sons. This book was released on 2009-02-09 with total page 560 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A Companion to Latina/o Studies is a collection of 40 original essays written by leading scholars in the field, dedicated to exploring the question of what 'Latino/a' is. Brings together in one volume a diverse range of original essays by established and emerging scholars in the field of Latina/o Studies Offers a timely reference to the issues, topics, and approaches to the study of US Latinos - now the largest minority population in the United States Explores the depth of creative scholarship in this field, including theories of latinisimo, immigration, political and economic perspectives, education, race/class/gender and sexuality, language, and religion Considers areas of broader concern, including history, identity, public representations, cultural expression and racialization (including African and Native American heritage).
