Download or read book Christmas Madness Mayhem and Mall Santas written by Bonnie Daly and published by CreateSpace. This book was released on 2013-10-21 with total page 90 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Leaving no stone unturned—or present unwrapped—Christmas Madness, Mayhem, & Mall Santas takes you on a hilarious journey through the misadventures, mishaps, and misguided sentiments that we all deal with during the Christmas season. Be prepared to laugh in the face of holiday stress, as you delve into such topics as parent-proof packaging, cats vs. Christmas trees, bows that don't stick, lights that won't light, and husbands that won't help, as well as a multitude of other misaligned, multifaceted merriment.
Download or read book The Onion Presents Christmas Exposed written by The Onion Staff and published by Quirk Books. This book was released on 2011-10-25 with total page 148 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without impulse-priced holiday gift books—and now The Onion has unleashed its award-winning team of investigative journalists upon the genre. Christmas Exposed features more than one hundred shocking tales of Secret Santas, shopping mall mayhem, dysfunctional family dinners, and much, much more.
Download or read book The Totally Disturbing Christmas Joke Book written by Bonnie Daly and published by CreateSpace. This book was released on 2014-10-15 with total page 28 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Totally Disturbing Christmas Joke Book: 100 Delightfully Demented Jokes Designed to Jingle Your Sleigh Bells--with jokes such as: "Why does Santa go down the Chimney? Because slithering up the sewer pipe makes his suit smell," and "Why do you hang ornaments on a Christmas tree? Because hanging them on your paraplegic uncle is just wrong"--is a compilation of edgy, twisted, festive fun, sure to liven up your holiday season.
Download or read book When Elves Attack written by Tim Dorsey and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2011-10-25 with total page 148 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “The undisputed king of the comic crime novel.” —Providence Journal Nobody does Florida weirdness quite like Tim Dorsey! Case in point: When Elves Attack, the New York Times bestselling author’s twisted Christmas present to his legion of adoring fans who can’t get enough of thrill-killer and Sunshine State historian Serge A. Storms, the most endearing psychopath since Dexter. Dorsey offers the perfect antidote for all those sappy feel-good holiday stories with this zany blockbuster extravaganza in which his wonderfully deranged serial killer Floridaphile delivers his special brand of Christmas cheer. More outrageous than Santa Claus in a Speedo, When Elves Attack serves up a Yuletide feast of the “pure gonzo humor” the New York Times Book Review enthusiastically attributes to this fearlessly funny writer. Think Bad Santa and National Lampoon’s Family Vacation, blend in Dorsey’s trademark appetite for destruction, and you’ve got hilarious crime fiction black comedy that anyone would be thrilled to discover stuffed in their Christmas stocking.
Download or read book The Totally Lame Joke Book written by Bonnie Daly and published by . This book was released on 2014-02-27 with total page 110 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Bursting with jokes that will make you laugh till you cry--or perhaps cry till you laugh--The Totally Lame Joke Book covers a wide range of topics, including everything from rednecks to farm animals, aliens to frogs, and old ladies to proctologists. It's a truly hilarious, fresh line up of original riddles that anyone of any age will enjoy.
Download or read book The Book of Holiday Awesome written by Neil Pasricha and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2011-11-17 with total page 167 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “Neil Pasricha is a gift. This book would make even the grinchiest Grinch love the holidays again.”—A. J. Jacobs There’s nothing like the holidays. They bring out the best, and sometimes the worst, in everyone. Luckily, Neil Pasricha is here to remind us that not only are the holidays great, but there’s actually even more to celebrate than we realize. From Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa, to other holidays throughout the year, such as Mother’s Day and Thanksgiving, The Book of (Holiday) Awesome will show you why holidays are...AWESOME. • Making the first footprint in fresh snow • When the in-laws leave • Waking up and realizing it’s Christmas • Just barely wrapping a gift with that tiny scrap of leftover wrapping paper • When they finally stop playing Christmas songs on the radio • Knowing “Kwanzaa” is worth more Scrabble points than “Hanukkah” or “Christmas”
Download or read book Crimes Committed by Terrorist Groups written by Mark S. Hamm and published by DIANE Publishing. This book was released on 2011 with total page 258 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This is a print on demand edition of a hard to find publication. Examines terrorists¿ involvement in a variety of crimes ranging from motor vehicle violations, immigration fraud, and mfg. illegal firearms to counterfeiting, armed bank robbery, and smuggling weapons of mass destruction. There are 3 parts: (1) Compares the criminality of internat. jihad groups with domestic right-wing groups. (2) Six case studies of crimes includes trial transcripts, official reports, previous scholarship, and interviews with law enforce. officials and former terrorists are used to explore skills that made crimes possible; or events and lack of skill that the prevented crimes. Includes brief bio. of the terrorists along with descriptions of their org., strategies, and plots. (3) Analysis of the themes in closing arguments of the transcripts in Part 2. Illus.
Download or read book Feliz Naughty Dog written by Roxanne St. Claire and published by . This book was released on 2020-11-20 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Pru Kilcannon has one goal when she wakes on Christmas Eve - to perform the most "Random Acts of Christmas Kindness" so she can spread cheer and ensure her high school wins the county-wide "RACK IT UP" contest. But when her friends decide to team up with their boyfriends, the ever-helpful Dogmothers enlist the new kid in school as Pru's partner for the contest. And that means good-girl Pru has to spend the entire day with the broody, moody, and crazy cute bad boy Lucas Darling, and his chaos-causing greyhound, Tor.As if that wasn't enough holiday havoc, Pru and Lucas have to accompany the grannies on a secret mission to check out a man Yiayia has met on an online dating service. Gramma Finnie is convinced Aldo Fiore is a mobster, Yiayia thinks he's her dream man, and Pru just wants to be sure her great-grandmothers don't get themselves arrested - or worse. There's no telling what could happen when the Dogmothers spy on an eighty-year-old who might be playing a rather flirtatious Santa at the mall?or might be hiding from the Feds.But no one expected the real trouble to come from Tor, the former racing dog who causes mayhem and mall madness. As Pru and Lucas attempt to control Tor, supervise the Santa Stalking, and knock out a few random acts of kindness?they also give in to a delicious little Christmas crush that just might lead to some magic under the mistletoe this year!
Download or read book Slay Bells written by Jo Gibson and published by Pinnacle Books. This book was released on 2000-09 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Diana and her friends are shopping for Christmas gifts at the newly opened Crossroads Mall when a sudden snowstorm traps them inside. They're having so much fun, they don't mind. That is, until Diana's friends are killed off--one by one. Hiding in the mall is a twisted killer with a Christmas list of his own.
Download or read book If the Shoe Fits written by Julie Murphy and published by Disney Electronic Content. This book was released on 2021-08-03 with total page 324 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "If the Shoe Fits encompasses everything I love about rom-coms. I laughed, I swooned, I smiled. Another hit for Julie Murphy!" —Colleen Hoover, #1 New York Times best-selling author of Hopeless If the shoe doesn’t fit, maybe it’s time to design your own. Cindy loves shoes. A well-placed bow or a chic stacked heel is her form of self-expression. As a fashion-obsessed plus-size woman, she can never find designer clothes that work on her body, but a special pair of shoes always fits just right. With a shiny new design degree but no job in sight, Cindy moves back in with her stepmother, Erica Tremaine, the executive producer of the world’s biggest dating reality show. When a contestant on Before Midnight bows out at the last minute, Cindy is thrust into the spotlight. Showcasing her killer shoe collection on network TV seems like a great way to jump-start her career. And, while she’s at it, why not go on a few lavish dates with an eligible suitor? But being the first and only fat contestant on Before Midnight turns her into a viral sensation—and a body-positivity icon—overnight. Even harder to believe? She can actually see herself falling for this Prince Charming. To make it to the end, despite the fans, the haters, and a house full of fellow contestants she’s not sure she can trust, Cindy will have to take a leap of faith and hope her heels— and her heart—don’t break in the process. Best-selling author Julie Murphy’s reimagining of a beloved fairy tale is an enchanting story of self-love and believing in the happy ending each and every one of us deserves.
Download or read book The Marvel Holiday Special written by and published by Marvel Comics Group. This book was released on 2004 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Three new Marvel holiday stories, including a riff on A Christmas Carol starring Spider-Man, plus selections from past holiday issues of Marvel Comics.
Download or read book Homo Deus written by Yuval Noah Harari and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2017-02-21 with total page 464 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Official U.S. edition with full color illustrations throughout. NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER Yuval Noah Harari, author of the critically-acclaimed New York Times bestseller and international phenomenon Sapiens, returns with an equally original, compelling, and provocative book, turning his focus toward humanity’s future, and our quest to upgrade humans into gods. Over the past century humankind has managed to do the impossible and rein in famine, plague, and war. This may seem hard to accept, but, as Harari explains in his trademark style—thorough, yet riveting—famine, plague and war have been transformed from incomprehensible and uncontrollable forces of nature into manageable challenges. For the first time ever, more people die from eating too much than from eating too little; more people die from old age than from infectious diseases; and more people commit suicide than are killed by soldiers, terrorists and criminals put together. The average American is a thousand times more likely to die from binging at McDonalds than from being blown up by Al Qaeda. What then will replace famine, plague, and war at the top of the human agenda? As the self-made gods of planet earth, what destinies will we set ourselves, and which quests will we undertake? Homo Deus explores the projects, dreams and nightmares that will shape the twenty-first century—from overcoming death to creating artificial life. It asks the fundamental questions: Where do we go from here? And how will we protect this fragile world from our own destructive powers? This is the next stage of evolution. This is Homo Deus. With the same insight and clarity that made Sapiens an international hit and a New York Times bestseller, Harari maps out our future.
Download or read book Living as Form written by Nato Thompson and published by MIT Press. This book was released on 2012 with total page 265 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 'Living as Form' grew out of a major exhibition at Creative Time in New York City. Like the exhibition, the book is a landmark survey of more than 100 projects selected by a 30-person curatorial advisory team; each project is documented by a selection of colour images.
Download or read book Kiss of Death written by John D. Bessler and published by . This book was released on 2003 with total page 224 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Documents the life stories of death-row prisoners and the author's experiences as a pro bono attorney on Texas death penalty cases to present arguments for the abolishment of state-sanctioned executions.
Download or read book Born a Crime written by Trevor Noah and published by One World. This book was released on 2016-11-15 with total page 279 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • More than one million copies sold! A “brilliant” (Lupita Nyong’o, Time), “poignant” (Entertainment Weekly), “soul-nourishing” (USA Today) memoir about coming of age during the twilight of apartheid “Noah’s childhood stories are told with all the hilarity and intellect that characterizes his comedy, while illuminating a dark and brutal period in South Africa’s history that must never be forgotten.”—Esquire Winner of the Thurber Prize for American Humor and an NAACP Image Award • Named one of the best books of the year by The New York Time, USA Today, San Francisco Chronicle, NPR, Esquire, Newsday, and Booklist Trevor Noah’s unlikely path from apartheid South Africa to the desk of The Daily Show began with a criminal act: his birth. Trevor was born to a white Swiss father and a black Xhosa mother at a time when such a union was punishable by five years in prison. Living proof of his parents’ indiscretion, Trevor was kept mostly indoors for the earliest years of his life, bound by the extreme and often absurd measures his mother took to hide him from a government that could, at any moment, steal him away. Finally liberated by the end of South Africa’s tyrannical white rule, Trevor and his mother set forth on a grand adventure, living openly and freely and embracing the opportunities won by a centuries-long struggle. Born a Crime is the story of a mischievous young boy who grows into a restless young man as he struggles to find himself in a world where he was never supposed to exist. It is also the story of that young man’s relationship with his fearless, rebellious, and fervently religious mother—his teammate, a woman determined to save her son from the cycle of poverty, violence, and abuse that would ultimately threaten her own life. The stories collected here are by turns hilarious, dramatic, and deeply affecting. Whether subsisting on caterpillars for dinner during hard times, being thrown from a moving car during an attempted kidnapping, or just trying to survive the life-and-death pitfalls of dating in high school, Trevor illuminates his curious world with an incisive wit and unflinching honesty. His stories weave together to form a moving and searingly funny portrait of a boy making his way through a damaged world in a dangerous time, armed only with a keen sense of humor and a mother’s unconventional, unconditional love.
Download or read book Whose Mind Is It Anyway written by Lisa Esile and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2016-06-07 with total page 90 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A sympathetic illustrated guide to learning to live with your mind--even when it tries to trick you. Most of us spend our lives trailing after our minds, allowing our brains to take us in directions that are safe and secure, controlled and conformed. Your mind doesn't want you to take that new job, sign up for that pottery class, or ask someone out. It wants you to stay unemployed, unfulfilled, and single because it enjoys routine and is resistant to change, no matter how positive the change may be. But more often than not, that's not what you want. Whose Mind Is It Anyway? will help you learn how to separate what you want from what your brain wants and how to do less when your mind is trying to trick you into doing more. In a colorful, funny, and nonthreatening way, it answers the difficult question of how we can take control of our self-defeating behaviors. Filled with charming illustrations, this book will be the friendly voice in your head to counter your negative thoughts, and it will teach you how to finally be at peace with all that you are.
Download or read book Stardust Dads written by Josephine C. George and published by iUniverse. This book was released on 2008-10-17 with total page 269 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The e-mail Danny and Allison read on their new computer in 1996 looks no different from the millions of others received by Web users around the world, with one glaring exception--it was sent by their dads who died during the 1970s. While residing in the afterworld at an amenity-laden paradise called Midway Manor, guitar-strumming Mickey Parks and piano-playing Lloyd Wallace monitor and manipulate the lives of their adult children on earth from the mid-'70s through the 1990s. Tampering with the facility's sophisticated computer, the dads thrust Mickey's daughter Allison and Lloyd's son Danny into a passionate but sometimes stormy relationship-a relationship steeped in Danny's heavy drinking and entangled in the often-zany world of men's adventure magazine publishing. After carefully implementing a plan to send their son and daughter a gift of knowledge that could enrich their lives forever, the dads' brief contact is cut short. They are banished to another destination in the afterworld, but not before they impart indisputable proof of life after death--and unwittingly put Danny's and Allison's earthbound lives on the line.
