Download or read book Cheers My Arse written by Ricky Tomlinson and published by Sphere. This book was released on 2007-10-04 with total page 262 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Ricky Tomlinson, author and entertainer, has worked in pubs and clubs up and down the country and seen more than his fair share of last orders. CHEERS . . . MY ARSE! is his hilarious collection of classic tales from the heart of publand. Featuring riotous stories that celebrate our best-loved hell raisers - Richard Harris, Peter O'Toole, Oliver Reid and Richard Burton, to name a few - and the escapades of modern-day drinking heroes (like the Gallagher brothers and Johnny Vegas), this is the perfect book for anyone who's ever had one too many . . .

Download or read book The Asshole Survival Guide written by Robert I. Sutton and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2017-09-12 with total page 229 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “This book is a contemporary classic—a shrewd and spirited guide to protecting ourselves from the jerks, bullies, tyrants, and trolls who seek to demean. We desperately need this antidote to the a-holes in our midst.”—Daniel H. Pink, best-selling author of To Sell Is Human and Drive How to avoid, outwit, and disarm assholes, from the author of the classic The No Asshole Rule As entertaining as it is useful, The Asshole Survival Guide delivers a cogent and methodical game plan for anybody who feels plagued by assholes. Sutton starts with diagnosis—what kind of asshole problem, exactly, are you dealing with? From there, he provides field-tested, evidence-based, and often surprising strategies for dealing with assholes—avoiding them, outwitting them, disarming them, sending them packing, and developing protective psychological armor. Sutton even teaches readers how to look inward to stifle their own inner jackass. Ultimately, this survival guide is about developing an outlook and personal plan that will help you preserve the sanity in your work life, and rescue all those perfectly good days from being ruined by some jerk. “Thought-provoking and often hilarious . . . An indispensable resource.”—Gretchen Rubin, best-selling author of The Happiness Project and Better Than Before “At last . . . clear steps for rejecting, deflecting, and deflating the jerks who blight our lives . . . Useful, evidence-based, and fun to read.”—Robert Cialdini, best-selling author of Influence and Pre-Suasion

Download or read book Sit Down and Cheer written by Martin Kelner and published by Bloomsbury Publishing. This book was released on 2012-09-27 with total page 287 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Television and sport is the ultimate marriage of convenience. The two circled each other warily for a while - sport anxious the sofa-bound might spurn the live product, TV reluctant in a limited channel world to hand over too much screen time to flannelled fools and muddied oafs. But they got together, and stayed together, for the sake of the money, and now you cannot imagine one without the other. They are indivisible, like an old couple sitting in a teashop finishing each other's sentences, and there is little doubt which is the dominant partner. You have only to think of the recent sports stars who have left their muddy fields to don sequins, grab partners and tango their way across the stage in ultimate Saturday night television style, to see how far the two have come on their journey together. In Sit Down and Cheer Martin Kelner traces the development of this relationship from its humble origins in the 1960 Olympics, by way of the first-ever Match of the Day in 1964, through to the financial impact of Sky, right up to the high-tech gadgetry of our present-day viewing. Insightful and very funny, this is an entertaining exploration of two major national pastimes and not to be missed.

Download or read book Cheer Up Mate written by Alan Weeks and published by The History Press. This book was released on 2011-10-03 with total page 243 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Cheer Up, Mate! is a compilation of comical tales and anecdotes from World War Two. Between 1939 and 1945 the world witnessed what is generally agreed to be the most horrific war in history. Millions died and millions more were physically or psychologically wounded by the conflict. Yet amidst the pain and devastation, people were not only able to survive, they also managed to maintain a sense of humour. For some, it was precisely this ability to laugh at their misfortunes (and those of the other side) that enabled them to solider on. This was especially true of the British, a nation whose reaction to more or less anything, up to and including someone’s house being bombed to rubble, tended to be, ‘never mind, have a cup of tea’. In this collection of stories, which covers the armed forces and civilians from both sides, Alan Weeks demonstrates how humour can survive even in the most unlikely of circumstances.

Download or read book Famous Anus written by Jordan Power and published by Cole James Books . This book was released on 2020-06-18 with total page 261 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the co-host of the wildly popular gay podcast, Shame On You, comes a hilarious, honest, and sometimes raunchy memoir documenting a decade-long descent into chaos. When Jordan Power checks himself into a mental hospital in the midst of a breakdown, he walks away without answers or prescription drugs — not for lack of asking. Gay, twenty-three, and newly single in downtown Toronto, Power can’t get out of his own way as he begins the journey of trying to figure out the world and himself, one self-destructive step at a time. Power’s unfiltered and humorous account of his path toward growing up and finding love is full of wild tales including run-ins with exes while on LSD, sleeping with his boss, blacking out in Rio, and of course, reconstructive asshole surgery. Acid-tongued Power’s debut novel Famous Anus is a how-not-to guide, showing that even lacking the most basic coping mechanisms, if you’re able to find humor in everything, life — like assholes — can eventually be put back together.

Download or read book The Yankee Yorkshireman written by Mary H. Blewett and published by University of Illinois Press. This book was released on 2009 with total page 234 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This study is a textual and contextual appraisal of the writings of Yorkshire-born Hedley Smith (1909-94) whose depiction of the fictional mill village of Briardale, Rhode Island, captures an early twentieth-century labor diaspora peopled with textile workers. Enraged and embittered at the transformatory experience of his own emigration, Smith used fiction to explore Yorkshire immigrants' culture and stubborn refusal to assimilate, their vital sexuality, and their vivid social customs. As Smith's writings reveal, emigration involves grief and anger, often universally concealed and problematic. Adopting a transnational perspective, Mary H. Blewett links Smith's fictional community to empirical data on the substance of working-class lives both in Yorkshire and in New England's worsted textile industries.

Download or read book The Day My Butt Went Psycho written by Andy Griffiths and published by Scholastic Inc.. This book was released on 2016-11-29 with total page 228 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A young boy embarks on an epic journey across the land to reclaim his runaway butt in this hilarious beginning to a bestselling trilogy. Zack Freeman is ready to tell his story . . . the story of a brave young boy and his crazy runaway butt. The story of a crack butt-fighting unit called the B-team, a legendary Butt Hunter’s formidable daughter, and some of the ugliest and meanest butts ever to roam the face of the Earth. A story of endurance that takes Zack on an epic journey across the Great Windy Desert, through the Brown Forest, and over the Sea of Butts before descending into the heart of an explosive buttcano to confront the biggest, ugliest, and meanest butt of them all! Praise for The Day My Butt Went Psycho “Griffith’s fun gross-out adventure novel follows Zack Freeman, who awakens to see his rear end leaping out the window to lead a bum rally . . . Young readers will likely get a kick out of it all (there’s even a glossary included).” —Publishers Weekly

Download or read book Torn written by Vivian Lux and published by LuxLife Publishing. This book was released on with total page 244 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Lead singer Hudson is finally living his rock and roll dreams. Will he throw them all away for a chance with his bandmate’s little sister? Find out in this emotional and steamy rockstar romance! I stumbled into rock stardom and it's given me everything I ever wanted. Except her. My bandmate's little sister. She's off limits. I know this. But I can't stay away. When I laid her lush body beneath mine, we both swore this was the last time. I had no idea it was also her first. Tallula: My brother knows something is up. We have to watch our step. We have to be careful. We have to stop taking these crazy risks. One wrong move and we lose everything. One single slip up and it's the end of Wreckage... forever. p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-indent: 28.8px; font: 12.0px 'Times New Roman'}

Download or read book Like Water written by Caleb Milne and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2009-05-07 with total page 234 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Gregâs life is going nowhere. Having missed out on university, he is living with his Dad in small-town Lancashire and working in a boring office job. He feels 22 going on 60. Then he seizes an unexpected opportunity to move to London. It seems to offer everything heâs been missing- freedom, opportunity, an escape from his mundane existence at home. And a beautiful girl called Emma, whoâs not like anyone heâs ever met.Free from other diversions, lust becomes obsession for Greg as he negotiates a path through Emmaâs friends and Adonis-like boyfriend. He knows it canât last forever but how long can he keep the momentum going? And what happens when it all comes crashing down? An energetic, funny, honest portrayal of first love across the North/ South divide, featuring embarrassing dads, feedback-heavy indie-pop, sun-dried tomatoes and crap threesomes.

Download or read book Sex Drugs and Football Thugs written by Mark Chester and published by eBook Partnership. This book was released on 2011-09-06 with total page 335 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: What does a football hooligan do outside football? In the case of Mark Chester, the answer was: live off his wits and burn the candle at both ends. Sex, Drugs And Football Thugs is part travelogue, part confessional, and by turns harrowing and hilarious.

Download or read book The Market Lads and Me A 1980 s Memoir written by S C Hamill and published by https://schamill.com. This book was released on 2023-10-18 with total page 211 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "A tale of fun and fear, and love and beer." "Joy and pain, and sunshine and rain." The Market Lads And Me is a humorous story of gritty realism and a fond recollections of a week in the 1980s in the life of an ordinary everyday working-class barrow boy employed at a wholesale fruit & vegetable market in Wigan, near Liverpool, England. Authors Note: The Market Lads and Me is my fond recollections and happy memories of a week in my life in the early 1980s working at Wigan wholesale fruit and vegetable market. The writing is based on real people, real lives, and real events....with a little Tomfoolery! Full of gritty and witty northern patter. A shoot-from-the-hip story about a week in the life of an eighties teenager, All reviews are accepted with thanks. Five stars: Full of gritty and witty northern patter, thoroughly enjoyed the book. Five stars: This is a shoot-from-the-hip story about a week in the life of an eighties teenager, thoroughly enjoyed the read. Five Stars: Fantastic book, a must-read 10/10. Five stars: Good read, worth a look. Front cover logo: Ai Free Publication ® ™ is a UK Registered Trademark. Trade Mark No: UK00003915810. No Ai was used in the writing and publication of this book. QR Code & Trademark supplied and available at aifreepublication.org

Download or read book Scratch written by Danny Gillan and published by Jakobian Books. This book was released on 2014-01-19 with total page 211 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An unexpected reminder of his past prompts Jim Cooper, a 33 year-old Glaswegian call centre worker, to make a big decision. He’s going back to adulthood ground-zero - no job, no debt, no, er, home, and starting again. Maybe this time he can do it right and get the girl. The fact that the girl is already married and living in another country and her Bruce Lee obsessed dad apparently wants to turn Jim into his latest pet are only two of the obstacles he faces. Given Jim's forward planning skills don’t extend beyond praying and having panic attacks, it isn’t surprising that he soon finds himself living with his parents and working for minimum wage, in the same pub he worked in when he was 18. What is unexpected is Paula Fraser walking through the pub’s door for the first time in 12 years. What’s even more surprising is that Paula admits she still loves Jim. But yes, she’s married, and no, she won't cheat on her husband. She'll tell him the marriage is over. Soon. When the time is right. As soon as her husband's sick grandfather gets better - or fatally worse. And so, Jim and Paula embark on the tricky business of not having an affair, and not telling anyone they know that they’re not having an affair. As Jim reflects, ‘If not being physically intimate with her in any way and denying to everyone we knew that anything was going on between us was the best way to prove I loved her, then that’s what I would do.’ Scratch is an un-sanitised, emotionally honest and hilariously candid story about what it is to grow up as opposed to simply change age, as told by a man who doesn’t know what any of those words mean. Word Count: 98,000 By the same author: Will You Love Me Tomorrow - some musicians wait a lifetime for a record deal. Bryan Rivers waited three days longer. Will You Love Me Tomorrow is a comedy about death, depression, grief, loss, friendship, family, haircuts and the music business. A Selection of Meats and Cheeses - Twelve short stories from Danny Gillan. Some sad, some funny, some serious some silly, some poignant and some pointless.

Download or read book Ulysses written by James Joyce and published by Standard Ebooks. This book was released on 2024-05-28T04:49:30Z with total page 576 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: James Joyce’s most celebrated novel, and one of the most highly-regarded novels in the English language, records the events of one day—Thursday the 16th of June, 1904—in the city of Dublin. The reader is first reintroduced to Stephen Dedalus, the protagonist of Joyce’s previous novel A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man. Stephen is now living in a rented Martello tower and working at a school, having completed his B.A. and a period of attempted further study in Paris. The focus then shifts to the book’s protagonist, Leopold Bloom, an advertising canvasser and social outsider. It is a work day, so both Bloom and Stephen depart their homes for their respective journeys around Dublin. While containing a richly detailed story and still being generally described as a novel, Ulysses breaks many of the bounds otherwise associated with the form. It consists of eighteen chapters, or “episodes,” each somehow echoing a scene in Homer’s Odyssey. Each episode takes place in a different setting, and each is written in a different, and often unusual, style. The book’s chief innovation is commonly cited to be its expansion of the “free indirect discourse” or “interior monologue” technique that Joyce used in his previous two books. Ulysses is known not only for its formal novelty and linguistic inventiveness, but for its storied publication history. The first fourteen episodes of the book were serialized between 1918 and 1920 in The Little Review, while several episodes were published in 1919 in The Egoist. In 1921, the New York Society for the Suppression of Vice won a trial regarding obscenity in the thirteenth episode, “Nausicaa.” The Little Review’s editors were enjoined against publishing any further installments; Ulysses would not appear again in America until 1934. The outcome of the 1921 trial worsened Joyce’s already-considerable difficulties in finding a publisher in England. After lamenting to Sylvia Beach, owner of the Parisian bookshop Shakespeare and Company, that it might never be published at all, Beach offered to publish it in Paris, and Ulysses first appeared in its entirety in February 1922. The first printing of the first edition was filled with printing errors. A corrected second edition was published in 1924. Stuart Gilbert’s 1932 edition benefited from correspondence with Joyce, and claimed in its front matter to be “the definitive standard edition,” but was later found to have introduced errors of its own. The novel’s initial reception was mixed. W. B. Yeats called it “mad,” but would later agree with the positive assessments of T. S. Eliot and Ezra Pound, stating that it was “indubitably a work of genius.” Joyce’s second biographer Richard Ellmann reports that one doctor claimed to have seen writing of equal merit by his insane patients, and Virginia Woolf derided it as “underbred.” Joyce’s aunt, Josephine Murray, rejected it as “unfit to read” on account of its purported obscenity, to which Joyce famously retorted that if that were so, then life was not fit to live. The sheer density of references in the text make Ulysses a book that virtually demands of the reader access to critical interpretation; but it also makes it a book that is easily obscured by the industry of scholarship it has generated over the last century. The dismissal of a serious interpretation is tempting, but would trivialize Joyce’s enormous project as an extended joke or an elaborate exercise in ego. Likewise dismissing it as uninterpretable would ignore the profusion of earnest critical analyses. Today Ulysses is considered by many to be the zenith of 20th century literature: both one of the richest, and also the most difficult, books to ever be written. To appreciate that is not to accept that it is unintelligible; rather, perhaps the best description of it is the one used of Ulysses himself in a 21st century translation of Homer’s epic—“complicated.” This Standard Ebooks edition is based on a transcription of the 1922 Shakespeare and Company first edition, with emendations from pre-1929 errata lists and the second edition in its 1927 ninth printing by Shakespeare and Company. It does not track any one particular edition, but rather is a blend of pre-1929 editions that aims to contain what scholars might consider to be the most accurate version of what was printed before 1929. Therefore, various probable misprints have been retained that were corrected in post-1929 editions. This book is part of the Standard Ebooks project, which produces free public domain ebooks.

Download or read book Ulysses written by James Joyce and published by McClelland & Stewart. This book was released on 2022-01-04 with total page 709 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Loosely based on The Odyssey, this landmark of modern literature follows ordinary Dubliners in 1904. Capturing a single day in the life of Dubliner Leopold Bloom, his friends Buck Mulligan and Stephen Dedalus, his wife Molly, and a scintillating cast of supporting characters, Joyce pushes Celtic lyricism and vulgarity to splendid extremes. Captivating experimental techniques range from interior monologues to exuberant wordplay and earthy humor, resulting in a major achievement in twentieth-century literature. Penguin Random House Canada is proud to bring you classic works of literature in e-book form, with the highest quality production values. Find more today and rediscover books you never knew you loved.

Download or read book Ashes written by Matthew Crow and published by Legend Press Ltd. This book was released on 2010-08-11 with total page 186 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “Authentic and poetic, lyrical and believable . . . a raw, rip-roaring depiction of life” from the author of In Bloom and Another Place (Mark Piggott, author of the Forever Avalon series). A lawless land of violence and deprivation, The Meadow Well Estate is a no-go area for police and non-residents alike and a hotbed of ritual violence. No one dares enter of their own accord, and few make it out alive. But Jack was one of the good ones. Recently released from prison, he is determined to turn his life completely around: by getting out. When, however, rumors spark of the police’s involvement in the death of two young joy riders, the anxieties of the estate flare into a week-long riot, causing burnt out wrecks at every turn and capturing the attention of the local and national media. Can Jack resist the call of the indiscriminate fury, or will the desperation of Meadow Well claim him once more? Praise for Matthew Crow’s In Bloom “The Fault in Our Stars meets Adrian Mole. Moving, funny and brilliantly narrated.”—Metro “Wow. Read In Bloom right now. It will improve your life.”—Matt Haig, international bestselling author “A moving and wonderfully witty tale . . . This excellent book is worth anyone’s time.”—Daily Telegraph

Download or read book Football My Arse written by Ricky Tomlinson and published by Little Brown Uk. This book was released on 2005 with total page 256 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: I have always collected football stories like other people collect stamps, and it's great to get this opportunity to stick them in a book' From the bestselling author of RICKY comes this collection of hilarious anecdotes about football, with stories about the stars themselves, the fans, the girlfriends, the managers ... in fact every aspect of the beautiful - and occasionally ridiculous - game. Recounted with Ricky Tomlinson's trademark wit, this is a bright and brilliantly entertaining collection that will delight football fans everywhere.

Download or read book The Greatest British Classics written by Lewis Carroll and published by DigiCat. This book was released on 2023-12-27 with total page 9537 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: DigiCat presents to you this unique collection, designed and formatted to the highest digital standards and adjusted for readability on all devices: Hamlet (Shakespeare) Romeo and Juliet (Shakespeare) Macbeth (Shakespeare) Paradise Lost (John Milton) Gulliver's Travels (Jonathan Swift) Robinson Crusoe (Daniel Defoe) The History of Tom Jones, a Foundling (Henry Fielding) Tristram Shandy (Laurence Sterne) Pride & Prejudice (Jane Austen) Sense and Sensibility (Jane Austen) Vanity Fair (William Makepeace Thackeray) Ode to the West Wind (P. B. Shelley) Frankenstein (Mary Shelley) Odes (John Keats) Jane Eyre (Charlotte Brontë) Wuthering Heights (Emily Brontë) Middlemarch (George Eliot) David Copperfield (Charles Dickens) Great Expectations (Charles Dickens) Tess of the d'Urbervilles (Thomas Hardy) Jude the Obscure (Thomas Hardy) The Enchanted April (Elizabeth von Arnim) Sons and Lovers (D. H. Lawrence) The Mysteries of Udolpho (Ann Ward Radcliffe) Dracula (Bram Stoker) A Study in Scarlet (Arthur Conan Doyle) Heart of Darkness (Joseph Conrad) The Picture of Dorian Gray (Oscar Wilde) Alice in Wonderland (Lewis Carroll) The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett) The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis) Diary of a Nobody (George and Weedon Grossmith) The Time Machine (H. G. Wells) The War of the Worlds (H. G. Wells) The Woman in White (Wilkie Collins) The Innocence of Father Brown (G. K. Chesterton) Howards End (E. M. Forster) The Waste Land (T. S. Eliot) Ulysses (James Joyce) Pygmalion (George Bernard Shaw) Arms and the Man (George Bernard Shaw) The Second Coming (W. B. Yeats) Ivanhoe (Sir Walter Scott) Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde (Robert Louis Stevenson) The Wind in the Willows (Kenneth Grahame) Phantastes (George MacDonald) Peter and Wendy (J. M. Barrie)