Download or read book Brenda s Beaver Needs a Barber written by Bimisi Tayanita and published by . This book was released on 2016-12-01 with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Sumguyen has always had a thick mane of hair, in the summer of 2016 he decided to grow a beard. Deep into month three he started to look like an armpit with eyeballs.It was a sultry August night in Old Town Scottsdale as Bimisi and Sumguyen made their way from one bar to another. They took pause to to enjoy the rhythms of a homeless crooner who was soulfully picking his guitar. When Sumguyen threw a five into his tip jar the artist looked up, thanked him with a nod and said, "That is a beautiful beard. My friend Brenda has a beard just like that, but hers doesn't talk."A fair amount of beer sprayed from Bimisi's nose...and just like that they had their subject matter for the final book of season one. Brenda's Beaver Needs a Barber is the fifth of five books that make up Reach Around Books Season One.

Download or read book The Sign of the Beaver written by Elizabeth George Speare and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 1983-04-27 with total page 149 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A 1984 Newbery Honor Book Although he faces responsibility bravely, thirteen-year-old Matt is more than a little apprehensive when his father leaves him alone to guard their new cabin in the wilderness. When a renegade white stranger steals his gun, Matt realizes he has no way to shoot game or to protect himself. When Matt meets Attean, a boy in the Beaver clan, he begins to better understand their way of life and their growing problem in adapting to the white man and the changing frontier. Elizabeth George Speare’s Newbery Honor-winning survival story is filled with wonderful detail about living in the wilderness and the relationships that formed between settlers and natives in the 1700s. Now with an introduction by Joseph Bruchac.

Download or read book Dee s Big Nuts written by Mark Thunder and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2015-08 with total page 26 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Sit back and enjoy this children's book parody about a squirrel named Dee and his friends love for his big nuts. Each page will have you laughing and going nuts! This may look like a typical children's book but once the book opens, you will enjoy references that only adults will understand. Dee's Big Nuts makes a great gift for birthdays, anniversaries, bridal shower, wedding gifts, housewarming gifts or just a great gift to make a friend or loved one giggle in laughter.

Download or read book Who Will Help Jack Off the Horse written by Bimisi Tayanita and published by . This book was released on 2020-10-15 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "...and of course the whimsical poetic meter known as iambic tetrameter is no more capable of exclusive ownership than the air we all breath."--Bimisi to Theodor Seuss GeislIt is entirely possible to wake up in the morning with no intention of learning anything at all, but learning something substantial, nonetheless. It was a typical Wednesday afternoon at their favorite dive bar. Bimisi and Sumguyen were sparring, via a spirited match of online trivia, with patrons of a similar dive bar in another part of the world...a part of the world where it most likely was not still Wednesday afternoon. The final question...at least the last question they heard before scrambling for a pen and paper to get to work on their first parody was this:Madonna, Michael Jackson and _____ are the only 3 artists who have had a top 40 hit in 4 different decades.ANSWER: Weird Al Yankovic

Download or read book Arkansas in Ink written by Guy Lancaster and published by Butler Center Books. This book was released on 2014-09-01 with total page 199 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In 1837 Representative Joseph J. Anthony stabs the speaker of the house to death during a debate about wolf pelts. In 1899 Hot Springs police shoot it out with the county sheriffs over control of illegal gambling. In 1974 President Richard Nixon resigns in part due to the outspokenness of Pine Bluff native Martha Mitchell. In this special print project of the online Encyclopedia of Arkansas History & Culture, legendary cartoonist Ron Wolfe brings these and many other stories to life. Accompanied by selected entries from the encyclopedia, Wolfe’s cartoons highlight the oddities and absurdities of our state’s history. Seriously, you couldn’t make up this stuff.

Download or read book Criminal Dissent written by Wendell Bird and published by Harvard University Press. This book was released on 2020-01-07 with total page 561 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In the first complete account of prosecutions under the Alien and Sedition Acts, dozens of previously unknown cases come to light, revealing the lengths to which the John Adams administration went in order to criminalize dissent. The campaign to prosecute dissenting Americans under the Alien and Sedition Acts of 1798 ignited the first battle over the Bill of Rights. Fearing destructive criticism and “domestic treachery” by Republicans, the administration of John Adams led a determined effort to safeguard the young republic by suppressing the opposition. The acts gave the president unlimited discretion to deport noncitizens and made it a crime to criticize the president, Congress, or the federal government. In this definitive account, Wendell Bird goes back to the original federal court records and the papers of Secretary of State Timothy Pickering and finds that the administration’s zeal was far greater than historians have recognized. Indeed, there were twice as many prosecutions and planned deportations as previously believed. The government went after local politicians, raisers of liberty poles, and even tavern drunks but most often targeted Republican newspaper editors, including Benjamin Franklin’s grandson. Those found guilty were sent to prison or fined and sometimes forced to sell their property to survive. The Federalists’ support of laws to prosecute political opponents and opposition newspapers ultimately contributed to the collapse of the party and left a large stain on their record. The Alien and Sedition Acts launched a foundational debate on press freedom, freedom of speech, and the legitimacy of opposition politics. The result was widespread revulsion over the government’s attempt to deprive Americans of their hard-won liberties. Criminal Dissent is a potent reminder of just how fundamental those rights are to a stable democracy.

Download or read book I need a new bum written by Dawn McMillan and published by Oratia Media Ltd. This book was released on 2012-09-03T00:00:00Z with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: I need a new bum! Mine's got a crack. I can see in the mirror a crack in the back. What to do when you need a new bum? Should you get one that's blue or yellow spotted? A Chevy bum, a rocket bum that's all fire and thrust, or a robo-bum? The options are endless - but wait, Dad's bum crack is showing too? Maybe this is contagious.

Download or read book Lessons from Plants written by Beronda L. Montgomery and published by Harvard University Press. This book was released on 2021-04-06 with total page 241 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An exploration of how plant behavior and adaptation offer valuable insights for human thriving. We know that plants are important. They maintain the atmosphere by absorbing carbon dioxide and producing oxygen. They nourish other living organisms and supply psychological benefits to humans as well, improving our moods and beautifying the landscape around us. But plants don’t just passively provide. They also take action. Beronda L. Montgomery explores the vigorous, creative lives of organisms often treated as static and predictable. In fact, plants are masters of adaptation. They “know” what and who they are, and they use this knowledge to make a way in the world. Plants experience a kind of sensation that does not require eyes or ears. They distinguish kin, friend, and foe, and they are able to respond to ecological competition despite lacking the capacity of fight-or-flight. Plants are even capable of transformative behaviors that allow them to maximize their chances of survival in a dynamic and sometimes unfriendly environment. Lessons from Plants enters into the depth of botanic experience and shows how we might improve human society by better appreciating not just what plants give us but also how they achieve their own purposes. What would it mean to learn from these organisms, to become more aware of our environments and to adapt to our own worlds by calling on perception and awareness? Montgomery’s meditative study puts before us a question with the power to reframe the way we live: What would a plant do?

Download or read book JiggleWiggleTicklePickle written by Bimisi Tayanita and published by . This book was released on 2020-10-15 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "You can keep the change"--Sumguyen to cashierSumguyen and Bimisi made the fiscally responsible decision to call in sick for a couple days and take advantage of the coveted free passes to the Las Vegas Adult Expo they were given by a scantily clad marketing rep in an Apache Junction bar the night before.They stopped in Wikiup, AZ for $14 worth of gas and a road soda. Sumguyen watched as a biker chick reached deep into the jar of pickles displayed on the counter. She was in elbow deep and was fishing for the largest of those brined beauties. As she clutched the winning pickle in her teeth she started counting out bills with her still dripping hand. Sumguyen knew those bills would be in his change, he slapped down a twenty and walked out the door.The treasures he might encounter at the Adult Expo and that monster Gherkin in a biker chick's mouth made for a strange and conflicting combination of thoughts...the fourth book of Season Two was conceived over the next 28 miles.

Download or read book Do You Want to Play with My Balls written by Christopher Cifaldi and published by . This book was released on 2012-11-12 with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book Show Me Your Cock written by Bryan Lawrence and published by Manchild Books. This book was released on 2019-08-02 with total page 26 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Show Me Your Cock" is a children's poetry book for adults about a young boy being shown several roosters throughout his lifetime. It is a quest that you will undoubtedly follow with great anticipation. From his neighbor to his best friend, he is shown many different varieties of roosters. What cock will he see next and how? ANYBODY can enjoy it. Even your grandma will want to see what kind of cock will be on the next page. Read it to a crowd or cheer up an angry hobo with "Show Me Your Cock".

Download or read book Five Busy Beavers written by Stella Partheniou Grasso and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2018-03-06 with total page 31 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Five busy beavers building up a dam, closing up the river where the salmon swam. Gnawing down trees and ferrying the logs. Slapping on the mud that they gathered from the bog. Along came a muskrat who wanted to play, and one little beaver swam away. Five little beavers are hard at work on their dam until, one by one, their forest friends pull them away to play. After visits from a muskrat, a heron, a frog, and a turtle, there’s just one hardworking beaver left at the end of the day. But when the fifth tired beaver leaves her sticks and mud behind and heads back to the lodge, a big surprise awaits! With catchy, playful rhyme, irresistibly cute illustrations, and a supplementary page of facts about all the species featured, Five Busy Beavers makes counting and learning fun!

Download or read book Would You Like to Play with My Pussy written by Gary Galvin and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2017-03-19 with total page 40 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Dear pussy lovers, Do you like to play with pussy? If you do, this is the book for you! This fun, beautiful illustrated playful book will surely crack you up with laughter. The innocent little cute story will get you spend all day reading and laughing. Perfect gifts for adults for all occasions: gag gift, baby showers, birthday parties, and wedding presents. *You should not read this to your children. The must have book for all pussy lovers! Get this book now and start laughing.

Download or read book Would You Like to Play with My Ass written by Gary Galvin and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2017-05 with total page 28 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This may sound a bit crass, but would you like to play with my ass? My ass is big, my ass is strong, when you play with my ass, you're never wrong... This fun, beautiful illustrated playful book will surely crack you up with laughter. The innocent little cute story will get you spend all day reading and laughing. This book will be a huge hit for all occasions: gag gift, baby showers, birthday parties, and wedding presents. Give this book as a gag gift to your friend, and they will remember you forever! *You probably should not read this to your children. The must have book for all people with a great sense of humor. Get this book now and start laughing.

Download or read book My Uncle Jack s Off written by Bo Nehr and published by . This book was released on 2017-07-19 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Hot dogs, pimps, elephants and crime. These things have absolutely nothing to do with this epic twisted tale, but you have to admit they're pretty attention grabbing, right?!? Bored of reading the same old hum-drum books about superheroes, lawn furniture and how to grow the best cheese log? My Uncle Jack's Off is a one-of-a-kind tale with a ham-fisted, adult-focused tone that will have you laughing out loud with every turn of the page until your belly aches. The best part? You'll know your stomach hurts from laughter and not tapeworms! Here are just a few of the thought-provoking things world-renown book critics have had to say about My Uncle Jack's Off "I used my left hand to turn the pages instead of my right and it was like sharing an unforgettable experience with a stranger." - Rosie Palmer "I've heard some tall tales, but Uncle Jack has a story so big you may not be able to take it all at once." - D.T. Sanchez "My favorite part was the check I received for this endorsement" - Handsomely compensated reader who wishes to remain anonymous "Finally, a story that the common unicyclist can relate to" - Gary the Unicyclist "[Shakes book...] How do I get the sound out?" - Reginald, the guy down the block who confuses audio with print "I find this book VERY hard to put down!" - Prank victim who got his hand superglued to the book "It's the perfect length. What they say is true... size matters." - A guy obsessed with tape measurers. Why, what'd you think? This book gives you all the raucous fun you can handle without being committed for excessive laughter. Perfect for late-night bedtime stories, bar mitzvahs, propping up a coffee table leg, surprise parties for the elderly, as a replacement for a toaster manual, or even light bathroom reading, it's time you saw Uncle Jack's Off for yourself. Pick up a copy of My Uncle Jack's Off by clicking "Add to Cart" above. You'll love the side-splitting story, hidden pictures, and one man's epic climax to fun.

Download or read book Peter Pitched a Tent written by Bimisi Tayanita and published by . This book was released on 2020-10-15 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Never make eye contact with a boy while eating a banana."--Olivia WilliamsBimisi and Sumguyen experienced a rare and fleeting moment of sobriety during which they decided to write about something the masses can relate to. While their research did require the navigation of some very murky waters...they definitively concluded that Catholic priests, mall Santas, boy scout leaders and dudes named Caitlyn makeup a very small percentage of the global population.In contrast, 97% of the people on the planet are, have been or will be a 13 year old boy; or they know, have known or will know a 13 year old boy. Coincidently, and Independent of this statistic, 97% of the population can appreciate the truth-driven humor of Peter Pitched a Tent. The other 3% are already posting nasty-grams on the internet about the very existence of this book...Go get 'em, Karen.

Download or read book Hookers Blow Save Christmas written by Munty C Pepin and published by . This book was released on 2020-08-31 with total page 22 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Tom Transport is stuck in the snow with a load of presents and Hookers and Blow must rescue him in time for the town Christmas party.