Download or read book Bill the Vampire written by Rick Gualtieri and published by . This book was released on 2011-06-28 with total page 362 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: There are reasons we fear the night. He isn't one of them. Bill Ryder was a dateless dweeb...then he died. Unfortunately for him that was just the beginning of his troubles. He awoke to find himself a vampire, one of the legendary predators of the night. Unfortunately for him, he was still at the bottom of the food chain. Now he finds himself surrounded by creatures stronger, deadlier and a whole lot cooler than he is. Worst yet, they all want him dead...permanently this time. Bill isn't exactly average, though. A vampire like him hasn't been seen in centuries. He's got a few tricks up his sleeve, unlikely allies, and an attitude problem that makes him too damn obnoxious to quit. Join him in this hilarious tale of monsters, mayhem, and the unlikely hero who's not afraid to tell them all off...even if it gets his teeth kicked in. ********** Bill the Vampire (the Tome of Bill, part 1) is 80k words of foul-mouthed horror comedy by Rick Gualtieri, author of Scary Dead Things (The Tome of Bill, part 2) and Bigfoot Hunters.

Download or read book Bill the Galactic Hero written by Harry Harrison and published by Macmillan. This book was released on 2012-07-03 with total page 189 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Bill, the Galactic Hero is written by Harry Harrison who is also the author of Deathworld, Make Room! Make Room! (filmed as Soylent Green), the popular Stainless Steel Rat books, and many other famous works of SF. "Simply the funniest science fiction book ever written."--New York Times besteselling author Terry Pratchett At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.

Download or read book Everyday Horrors written by Rick Gualtieri and published by . This book was released on 2020-01-09 with total page 458 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: ONE GEEK AGAINST THE RISING DARKNESS. Bill Ryder is having a hell of a week. Magic is back, one of his friends has been entombed in solid rock, and he once again has no pulse to speak of. Too bad it's about to get worse. Something is hunting vampires in New York City. A smarmy wizard has been called in to investigate, one with skeletons in his closet and eyes for Bill's girlfriend. All the while, Neolithic horrors not seen since the dawn of time are reappearing, wreaking havoc wherever they step. Bill will need to rally his friends, both new and old, if he's to have any chance of turning the creeping tide of chaos threatening to drown his city. But it won't be easy. The balance of power in the supernatural hierarchy has been upended, and all the attitude in the world might not be enough to fix it.

Download or read book Carnage Trois written by Rick Gualtieri and published by . This book was released on 2021-07 with total page 424 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: One geek trapped in a lethal love triangle Bill Ryder's past and present are about to collide. His girlfriend's been marked for death by the immortal temptress who wants him. One's a witch and the other's a vampire, which means the chances of them talking out their problems over tea are slim to none. It's bad enough Bill's too distracted by evil leprechauns and redneck werewolves to put a stop to it, but now something massive has been spotted prowling the waters of the Hudson - a harbinger of biblical proportions, forewarning of dark times to come. With a tidal wave of chaos closing in, Bill will need to choose between his friends, his feelings, and the fate of the world. Sadly, there's little hope of saving everyone he holds dear from the carnage that's about to punch him and his love life right in the moby dick.

Download or read book Strange Days written by Rick Gualtieri and published by . This book was released on 2019-02-08 with total page 432 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: At the edge of chaos, one geek stands tall. Five years ago, dateless dork Bill Ryder somehow saved the world, banishing magic and monsters to the shadows. He thought it was over, that he was finished with that life. Too bad for him, shit's about to get surreal again. Now the impossible has happened. His goddaughter is conjuring fireballs from thin air and two vampires have shown up at his doorstep looking to kick his ass. A crazed group of ex-wizards are hell-bent on forcing the door between worlds open, intent on letting the nightmares back in, and only Bill and his friends stand in their way. Join him in this hilarious tale of a world teetering on the brink of anarchy and the unlikely hero who's not afraid to look the madness in the eye and flip it both fingers.

Download or read book Scary Dead Things written by Rick Gualtieri and published by . This book was released on 2011-09-26 with total page 366 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: There are reasons we fear the night. He STILL isn't one of them. Bill Ryder, the trash-talking undead geek from Bill the Vampire, is back and about to find himself in a whole new world of side-splitting insanity. One of the most powerful vampires on the planet has given Bill a death sentence. Meanwhile, an immortal princess wants him for an entirely different purpose, one which makes his first issue seem almost preferable. All the while, new and powerful forces have begun to emerge from the shadows around him. Are they friend or foe? Knowing his luck, do you even have to ask? Bill's only hope is to marshal his friends, master his powers, and somehow prove that he's the scariest dead thing of them all. ********** Scary Dead Things (The Tome of Bill, part 2) is 80,000 words of foul-mouthed horror comedy by Rick Gualtieri, author of Bill the Vampire and Bigfoot Hunters.

Download or read book Goddamned Freaky Monsters written by Rick Gualtieri and published by Tome of Bill. This book was released on 2014-06-27 with total page 494 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: There Are Reasons We Fear The Night. Bill Ryder Is Trying To Stop Them. Three months have passed since the fateful encounter in New York City that ended with the disappearance of Bill Ryder - gamer, geek, and legendary vampire. Now he's back, awakened halfway across the globe with no allies, clothing, or clue as to how he got there. The only thing he's certain of is that his captors plan to use him for their own nefarious ends and don't care how much blood they spill in the process. Escape might be the least of his worries, though. Civilization teeters on the brink of chaos. Mythical beasts, once thought the stuff of fantasy, are breaking through the veil, intent on waging war against mankind. At their forefront stands an ancient evil, the last remnant of a cult thought long dead, and he's about to cut a swath of destruction through the world not seen since biblical times. Bill's only chance is to reclaim his life, reconcile with his friends, and muster every bit of attitude he can - because if he fails, Hell on Earth will become far more than just a corny saying.

Download or read book The Wicked Dead written by Rick Gualtieri and published by . This book was released on 2021-06 with total page 618 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: There are reasons we fear the night. Now he must become one of them. Bill Ryder has a powerful destiny. He just never expected it to involve an amnesiac bloodsucker, a bunch of D&D dorks, and a hormonal witch. It's time for the gamer, geek, and legendary vampire to embrace his fate. Ordered to storm the vampire stronghold in Boston, Bill must approach the doorstep of the invincible undead warlord he's destined to face. It's his only chance of stopping Armageddon. As his enemies stand in his way and his allies falter, the vicious beast inside of him wants out. If he stands tall and faces his fate, the world might just have a chance of surviving. If he fails, an unquenchable evil will destroy everything Bill knows and loves. Why can't the end of the world ever be easy?

Download or read book Half a Prayer written by Rick Gualtieri and published by . This book was released on 2015-01-30 with total page 512 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Terror lurks below and it's about to surface. The end of the world is rapidly approaching, but Bill Ryder - gamer, geek, and legendary vampire - finds himself with more pressing concerns to worry about: the women in his life. Sidelined from action, he's forced to reevaluate his feelings. Sadly for him, it's a luxury he can ill afford. An unstoppable terror from the dawn of time has awoken deep beneath the Earth and is headed his way. To make matters worse, he's been deemed a traitor by those he thought to be his allies. Now he finds himself fighting off enemies from all sides while warring with his emotions. Talk about sucky timing for introspection. As the world crumbles to pieces around him, Bill must muster his courage, master his powers, and rise to the destiny he's been trying so long to deny - because if he doesn't, his love life will be the least of his worries. *** Half-a-Prayer (the Tome of Bill, part 6) is 130k words of foul-mouthed Urban Fantasy by Rick Gualtieri, author of Holier Than Thou and Sunset Strip

Download or read book Bill The Vampire written by Rick Gualtieri and published by . This book was released on 2020-12-15 with total page 360 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: There Are Reasons We Fear The Night. He's Not One Of Them. Bill Ryder was a dateless geek, but then he met a girl to die for. So he did. Unfortunately for him, that was just the beginning of his troubles. He awoke as a vampire, one of the legendary predators of the night. Sadly, fangs or not, he was still at the bottom of the food chain. Now he finds himself surrounded by creatures stronger, deadlier, and a lot cooler than he is ... and they all want to kick his teeth in. Bill isn't exactly average, though. A vampire like him hasn't been seen in centuries. He's got a few tricks up his sleeve, unexpected allies, and an attitude that makes him too damned obnoxious to quit. Join him in this hilarious tale of immortal monsters and the unlikely hero who's not afraid to tell them off, even if it gets him killed - permanently this time.

Download or read book Bill the Vampire written by Rick Gualtieri and published by Createspace Independent Pub. This book was released on 2012-03-01 with total page 362 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Meet Bill Ryder: programmer, gamer geek, and hopeless dweeb when it comes to women. All he ever asked for out of life was to collect his paycheck, hang out with his buds, and eventually (someday) ask out the girl of his dreams. However, then Bill met Sally. She was mysterious, aggressive, and best of all...smoking hot. Bill never stood a chance. Before he knew what was happening Sally had lead him to his death, and that was only the beginning of his troubles. Now Bill awakes to find himself an undead predator of the night. The only problem is he's still at the bottom of the food chain. He's in way over his head, surrounded by creatures more dangerous, better looking, and a whole lot cooler than he is. Worst of all is the dreaded Night Razor, a master vampire who just can't stand him. He gives Bill a 90 day deadline to either prove himself or meet a more permanent kind of death, and the deck is definitely stacked against him. But Bill isn't exactly average. A vampire like him hasn't been seen in over five centuries. He's got a few tricks up his sleeve, unlikely allies to help him out, and an attitude problem that makes him just too damn obnoxious to quit. He may just pull it off...if he doesn't get his teeth kicked in first.

Download or read book The Mourning Woods The Tome of Bill Book 3 written by and published by . This book was released on 2012 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Three words: Vampires versus Sasquatch.Bill Ryder - gamer, geek, and legendary vampire - is back in his wildest adventure yet.A war is brewing between ancient enemies from the dawn of time. If it can't be stopped, the veil will be lifted and all of humanity's darkest nightmares will be unleashed to wreak havoc. Bill and his friends are the only chance we have - Lord help us all!The leaders of the vampire nation dispatch Bill to a faraway land in order to broker peace, but it's not going to be easy. His enemies want him dead. Hell, some of his allies do too. Danger lurks at every turn and in places where he least expects it.Now he must rely on his friends, master his fledgling powers, and use every four-letter word in his vocabulary to stop the war, uncover the conspiracy, and solve the mystery that lies at the heart of the Mourning Woods.0́40́40́40́40́4The Mourning Woods, book three in The Tome of Bill series, is a foul-mouthed paranormal comedy by Rick Gualtieri.

Download or read book The Mourning Woods written by Rick Gualtieri and published by . This book was released on 2012-07-06 with total page 446 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Three words: Vampires versus SasquatchBill Ryder: undead geek, dateless dweeb, and legendary vampire is back in his wildest adventure yet.A war is brewing between ancient enemies from the dawn of time. If it can?t be stopped, the veil will be lifted and all of humanity?s darkest nightmares will be unleashed to wreak havoc. Bill and his friends are the only chance we have...Lord help us all! The vampire nation dispatches Bill to a faraway land to broker peace, but it?s not going to be easy. His enemies want him dead. Hell, some of his allies do too. Danger lurks at every turn and in places where he least expects it.Now Bill must rely on his friends, master his fledgling powers, and use every four-letter word in his arsenal to stop the war, uncover the conspiracy, and solve the mystery that lies at the heart of the Mourning Woods.**********The Mourning Woods (the Tome of Bill, part 3) is 90,000 words of foul-mouthed horror hilarity by Rick Gualtieri, author of Bill the Vampire and Scary Dead Things.

Download or read book Scary Dead Things written by Rick Gualtieri and published by . This book was released on 2012-03-16 with total page 366 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: There are reasons we fear the night.He STILL isn't one of them.Bill Ryder: programmer, gamer, and legendary vampire is back! Six months have passed since a vampire hottie named Sally dragged him kicking and screaming (but mostly screaming) into the supernatural underworld. Since then he's found himself hounded by enemies and frustrated by his allies. All that and he still can't work up the nerve to talk to his dream girl. Little does he know his troubles are just starting.A chance meeting halfway across the world plunges Bill into more insanity than he can shake a stick at. Now he finds himself a marked man in more ways than one. One of the most powerful immortals in the world wants him dead and an ancient vampire princess wants him for entirely different purposes.However, that might just be the least of his worries as new and powerful forces have begun to emerge from the shadows around him. Are they friend or foe? Considering Bill's luck, you can bet on the latter. Bill's only hope is to marshal his friends, master his powers, and muster enough attitude to stare down the very worst monsters the world can throw at him.Can Bill survive and prove once and for all that he's the scariest dead thing of them all?*******************Scary Dead Things is 80,000 words of foul-mouthed horror comedy by Rick Gualtieri, author of Bill the Vampire and the Poptart Manifesto.

Download or read book Vampire Warlords written by Andy Remic and published by Watkins Media Limited. This book was released on 2011-05-05 with total page 373 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Legendary warrior Kell must choose to flee the conquered land of Falanor, or fight for its people. Even now it may be too late, that all is lost... for the Vachine invaders have called upon their ancient rulers, semi-immortal bloodsuckers who dwell on the edges between life and death. The vampire warlords have returned, and they will feed. File Under: Fantasy [The Dark Lords Risen / A Last Stand / A Dandy Torn / Epic Confrontation]

Download or read book The Postmillennial Vampire written by Susan Chaplin and published by Springer. This book was released on 2017-01-23 with total page 117 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This book explores the idea that while we see the vampire as a hero of romance, or as a member of an oppressed minority struggling to fit in and acquire legal recognition, the vampire has in many ways changed beyond recognition over recent decades due to radically shifting formations of the sacred in contemporary culture. The figure of the vampire has captured the popular imagination to an unprecedented extent since the turn of the millennium. The philosopher René Girard associates the sacred with a communal violence that sacred ritual controls and contains. As traditional formations of the sacred fragment, the vampire comes to embody and enact this ‘sacred violence’ through complex blood bonds that relate the vampire to the human in wholly new ways in the new millennium.

Download or read book The Vampire Almanac written by J. Gordon Melton and published by Visible Ink Press. This book was released on 2021-10-01 with total page 1324 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Grab a stake, a fistful of garlic, a crucifix and holy water as you enter the dark, blood-curdling world of the original pain in the neck in this ultimate collection of vampire facts, fangs, and fiction! What accounts for the undying fascination people have for vampires? How did encounters with death create centuries-old myths and folklore in virtually every culture in the world? When did the early literary vampires—as pictured by Goethe, Coleridge, Shelly, Polidori, Byron, and Nodier as the personifications of man’s darker side—transform from villains into today’s cultural rebels? Showing how vampire-like creatures organically formed in virtually every part of the world, The Vampire Almanac: The Complete History by renowned religion expert and fearless vampire authority J. Gordon Melton, Ph.D., examines the historic, societal, and psychological role the vampire has played—and continues to play—in understanding death, man’s deepest desires, and human pathologies. It analyzes humanity’s lusts, fears, and longing for power and the forbidden! Today, the vampire serves as a powerful symbol for the darker parts of the human condition, touching on death, immortality, forbidden sexuality, sexual power and surrender, intimacy, alienation, rebellion, violence, and a fascination with the mysterious. The vampire is often portrayed as a symbolic leader advocating an outrageous alternative to the demands of conformity. Vampires can also be tools for scapegoating such as when women are called “vamps” and bosses are described as “bloodsuckers.” Meet all of the villains, anti-heroes, and heroes of myths, legends, books, films, and television series across cultures and today’s pop culture in The Vampire Almanac. It assembles and analyzes hundreds of vampiric characters, people, and creatures, including Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Vlad the Impaler, Edward Cullen and The Twilight Saga, Bram Stoker, Lestat De Lioncourt and The Vampire Chronicles, Lon Chaney, True Blood, Bela Lugosi, Dracula, Dark Shadows, Lilith, Vampire Weekend, Batman, Nosferatu, and so many more. There is a lot to sink your teeth into with this deep exhumation of the undead. Quench your thirst for facts, histories, biographies, definitions, analysis, immortality, and more! This gruesomely thorough book of vampire facts also has a helpful bibliography, an extensive index, and numerous photos, adding to its usefulness.