Download or read book No One Likes a Fart written by Zoë Foster Blake and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2020-01-14 with total page 21 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Fart is desperate to make friends and have fun. But no one likes a fart -- not even a fart with a heart. With plenty of laughs and even more heart, this delightful picture book shows that even the smelliest among us can find a friend in this world. It's hard out there for a fart. Too smelly. Too embarassing. Too gross. Striking the perfect balance of gross-out humor, wit, and heart, this beautifully illustrated picture book delivers a message of accepting yourself and finding a friend who loves you just the way you are.

Download or read book The Pickup Line written by Louisa Trent and published by Trent Publishing. This book was released on 2011-07-06 with total page 116 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When hip, avant-garde artist, Blue Heron, and ultra-conservative businessman, Lou Franco, meet in a pickup line at a trendy vegan restaurant they quickly agree to a weekend of erotic, anything-goes, sex. But a pink flamingo turns anything-goes into something else, something neither of them expects. ...because sometimes all a man and woman really have in common is nothing and sometimes nothing will keep them apart...

Download or read book The Ancient Nine Chapter One written by Ian K. Smith, M.D. and published by St. Martin's Press. This book was released on 2018-05-22 with total page 16 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Pulls you into the depths of a secret world from the first page. Ian Smith’s novel is unmissable." —Harlan Coben, author of Missing You Spencer Collins thinks his life at Harvard will be all about basketball and pre-med; hard workouts and grinding work in class. The friends he’s made when he hits the storied ivy-clad campus from a very different life in urban Chicago are a happy bonus. But Spencer is about to be introduced to the most mysterious inner sanctum of the inner sanctum: to his surprise, he’s in the running to be “punched” for one of Harvard’s elite final clubs. The Delphic Club is known as “the Gas” for its crest of three gas-lit flames, and as Spencer is considered for membership, he’s plunged not only into the secret world of male privilege that the Gas represents, but also into a century-old club mystery. Because at the heart of the Delphic, secured deep inside its guarded mansion club, is another secret society: a shadowy group of powerful men known as The Ancient Nine. Who are The Ancient Nine? And why is Spencer—along with his best friend Dalton Winthrop—summoned to the deathbed of Dalton’s uncle just as Spencer is being punched for the club? What does the lore about a missing page from one of Harvard’s most historic books mean? And how does it connect to religion, murder, and to the King James Bible, if not to King James himself? The Ancient Nine is both a coming of age novel and a swiftly plotted story that lets readers into the ultimate of closed worlds with all of its dark historical secrets and unyielding power.

Download or read book An Old Farts Survival Guide written by Ron Foster and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2018-11-21 with total page 552 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Survival tips written for (and by) "Old Farts" I decided to write down a bunch of timely woodlore tricks and preparedness advisement so they can be shared and remembered once more. Knowledge I have gained from a lifetime of prepping and preparing for disasters and how to live easier through hard times are explained within this book. I bet all of us aging seniors who are of the prepper mindset or of a survivalist bent, as well as many younger folks less knowledgeable, want to know about the same things we do regarding eating well and dying easier after a mega disaster. That is survival knowledge that we will need to know and rely on should the electrical grid ever go down and stay down. Considering just how unreliable all this newfangled technology can be and the fact that new threats are always appearing on the horizon, it is not a far stretch to say our dependency on technology is putting our very survival or daily existence in jeopardy. We need to try to get back to our old school mindsets now and learn more about the woods or country living that some of us may have forgotten about, or some of us never learned growing up to begin with. Whether or not you are just learning basic preparedness for the first time or remembering many an old camping trip or military deployment, there is plenty to learn here. The contents of this book will teach you long term survival and food procurement with and without, using anything but the cheapest gear best suited for the task. Even if you are on a strict fixed income and have a few minor physical disabilities' I have a plan for you and one that won't cost much at all to sustain you for a year or more. This book will teach you some awesome things like how to catch a fish with a twig, use nothing but a pencil sharpener to light a fire in wet woods and make a fish hook or animal trap, heat your house with the sun and a sewage line, open a can of food on the curb without a can opener, heat your house with a garbage bag, light a fire with a rain drop, defend yourself against a wild dog attack, spend a dollar on a tool that can feed you the rest of your life or spend a hundred dollars on a piece of gear that could feed you and your family for a year using common easy applicable food procurement skills in any suburban backyard or forested wood lot. You will learn the skills that some of us old timers who are still kicking around will use for surviving long term and would like to be taught to the next generation. Things that are good to know, like how to take a cardboard box, a baking bag, a piece of string and catch your own dinner, cook it and boil and purify water using those three items. This book will teach you more than a few things you might not know yet, but you should for old fart survival purposes! Let us try to outlive and out think them young heathens or at least hang around long enough to teach them a better way to survive themselves!

Download or read book Sudden Death Overtime written by Steve Vernon and published by Steve Vernon. This book was released on 2016-10-17 with total page 96 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Meet Sprague Deacon - one of the toughest old-time hockey players who ever skated upon a rink of hand-poured ice. Sprague was born and raised and he expects to die here on the Northern Labrador coast. What he did not expect was a tour bus full of vampires - none of whom glitter in the least bit - to pull into his town and begin lowering the population level - one corpse at a time. Sprague and his three best friends - an over-the-hill never-say quit bush league hockey team from Northern Labrador go toe-to-tooth with a tour bus full of vampires in an immortal-stakes showdown of street hockey? For the answer - throw Paul Newman's Slapshot into a blender with Steven Niles 30 Days of Night and hit frappe! Steve Vernon is the author of a dozen e-books of outrageously mind-blowing horror and dark fantasy including his horror/historical full length novel DEVIL TREE, the take-no-prisoners testosterone-fest superhero extravaganza NOTHING TO LOSE and the cult hit novella LONG HORN, BIG SHAGGY - A TALE OF WILD WEST TERROR AND REANIMATED BUFFALO. Also including the bonus time travelling hockey tale, "Time Out" as well as a bonus hockey-oriented ghost story, "Smoke Signals". "With SUDDEN DEATH OVERTIME, Vernon perfectly captures the dark heart of a Canadian Winter and the lifetime passion surrounding the game of hockey. He takes a group of old friends who never backed down from a fight on the ice when they were younger and still refuse to do so even when they're old enough to know better. Toss on the rink some memorable characters, truly great dialogue, a bus load of nasty vampires, and a shocking surprise ending that you won't see coming and you've got yourself a story that's sure to be a winner." - Gord Rollo - author of VALLEY OF THE SCARECROW "If Harlan Ellison, Richard Matheson and Robert Bloch had a three-way sex romp in a hot tub, and then a team of scientists came in and filtered out the water and mixed the leftover DNA into a test tube, the resulting genetic experiment would most likely grow up into Steve Vernon." - Bookgasm "Steve Vernon is something of an anomaly in the world of horror literature. He's one of the freshest new voices in the genre although his career has spanned twenty years. Writing with a rare swagger and confidence, Steve Vernon can lead his readers through an entire gamut of emotions from outright fear and repulsion to pity and laughter." - Cemetery Dance "Armed with a bizarre sense of humor, a huge amount of originality, a flair for taking risks and a strong grasp of characterization - Steve's got the chops for sure." - Dark Discoveries "Steve Vernon was born to write. He's the real deal and we're lucky to have him." - Richard Chizmar Best of all - you don't even need to be much of a hockey fan to enjoy this yarn. Pick this one up. You won't regret it.

Download or read book The Book of the Thousand Nights and One Night Vol 2 written by J.C. Mardrus and published by Routledge. This book was released on 2003-09-02 with total page 938 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The second volume of this accurate translation of the wonderful and enchanting tales of the Arabian nights.

Download or read book The Book of the Thousand and One Nights written by E.P. Mathers and published by Routledge. This book was released on 2013-10-18 with total page 3253 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: First published in 2013. An unabashed and accurate translation of the wonderful and enchanting tales of the Arabian Nights, complete in four volumes.

Download or read book F is for FART 2 written by Mrs MR Smelt It Dealt It and published by Independently Published. This book was released on 2020-10-05 with total page 30 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If F is for FART blew you away with its hysterical humor, you will surely love F is for FART #2. F is for FART #2 is about farts. Yes, farts. It's also about ABCs, rhymes, and animals-but it's mostly about farts, and making you and your loved ones laugh about farts. Each letter stands for an animal and is accompanied by a rhyme, which is short and stinky-much like farts are stinky. We hope you think this book stinks in all the right ways. What are the right ways? I'm glad you asked. We've got farts that smell, farts that BOOM, farts that TOOT, farts that groan, and plenty of fart FACTS. Was it you? Was it me? No, of course not-it was the animals! We've got animals from Africa, China, and even Rottnest Island! We've got animals from the East and animals from the West; animals from near and animals from far! We've got animals that fly high in the sky and those that swim deep in the sea! We've even got animals from the land down under-even an animal that is extinct! Some farting creatures live in forests; others live in trees! Just buy the book and you-you will see; just buy the book-just buy it, please! Worried that we've skipped a favorite animal of yours? I don't think so! We've got ... A for alpaca B for brown bear C for chimpanzee D for dolphin E for elk F for fox G for gorilla H for horse I for impala J for jackal K for koala L for lion M for moose N for numbat O for owl P for panda Q for quokka R for rat S for seal T for tiger U for unicorn fish V for vampire bat W for walrus X for xenoceratops (ZEE-no-SEH-rah-tops) Y for yellow mongoose and Z for zebu. If your kids love farts as much as ours, we're sure this book will be a favorite, so please consider adding it to your library. Mr. Smelt It and Mrs. Dealt It Also available F is for FART handwriting activity book F is for FART coloring book P is for POOPS The EMBARRASSED UNICORN A is for AVIATION N is for NATIONAL PARKS

Download or read book The Musings of a Crazy Old Fart written by Jim Rother and published by Archway Publishing. This book was released on 2024-01-12 with total page 416 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: After coming out as gay, Jason feels compelled to leave his home in Tennessee. Hoping to create a new life in Oregon, he takes a job as a companion/housekeeper/caregiver to an elderly man named Thomas. It turns out that Thomas has been expecting him and, with just a few weeks left to live, he tells Jason they are to share with the world a very different story of creation. With the love of his deceased wife ever in his mind and the promptings of his “guide,” Karl, Thomas weaves for Jason a new creation myth filled with love and purpose – a myth that deeply challenges Jason. How do you translate mystical experiences in a language easily understood within our normal reality? How does the weirdness of quantum mechanics fit into a cause-and-effect world? Those questions have challenged the greatest teachers and the everyday seeker of the truth. They challenge Thomas as well. No one can contain the infinite and put it into finite words. Yet there are steps that can be taken to invite the infinite into our experience, for it is only through direct experience that we can begin to grasp the true nature of our being.

Download or read book Hank E O Panky s Little Black and Blue Book written by Hank E. O'Panky and published by iUniverse. This book was released on 2000-08-04 with total page 210 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This hilarious spoof of the former bestseller Harvey Penick’s Little Red Book not only satirizes his book but also hysterically lampoons a variety of contemporary topics, such as the legal system, the battles between the sexes, violence, the obsession with winning, and other human foibles. In O’Panky’s own words: "Maybe a few short years ago...[Penick’s] laid-back, namby-pamby, Liberace-like methods may have worked to some extent, but to succeed in a sport today, you need to be aggressive and physical, obnoxious and noisy, pesty and loutish." This timely book covers all the basic elements of golf, such as the mechanics of an effective swing, the mental aspects of the game, and "the importance of gastrointestinal noises during close matches." It will appeal to a wide range of readers: men, women, teens, and even aliens, such as Canadians and Martians. SURGEON GENERAL’S WARNING: Unlike those mildly and so-called humorous golf books you generally find on the bookshelf, this one may result in laugh-specific injuries.

Download or read book Slobberknocker written by Jim Ross and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2017-10-03 with total page 424 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Wrestling Biography You’ve Been Waiting For! There are few people who have been in the wrestling business longer than Jim Ross. And those who have made it as long as he has (half a century to be exact) probably made enemies or burned bridges. But that’s just not JR. Slobberknocker is the story of how an Oklahoman farm kid, with a vivid imagination and seemingly unattainable dreams, became “The Voice of Wrestling” to record TV audiences and millions of fans around the world. Jim opens up about his life as an only child on a working farm, who became obsessed with professional wrestling having first saw it on his grandparent’s TV. Even though the wrestling business was notoriously secretive and wary of “outsiders,” he somehow got a foot in the door to start a historic career, one where he held almost every job in the business?from putting up the ring to calling matches, from driving his blind, drunk boss towards revenge, to consoling two naked 600 pound brothers in the shower room after a rough match. With all those adventures and responsibilities, he’s also recognized as the man who built and nurtured a once-in-a-generation talent roster that took the WWE to new heights, including “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, Brock Lesnar, and The Rock to name a few. Readers will finally get the opportunity to hear never-before-told stories about the politics, wackiness, and personalities of all the biggest stars. But this isn’t just a wrestling story. It’s a story about overcoming adversity and achieving your dreams, as success did not come without significant costs and unforeseen challenges to JR, including multiple bouts of severe facial paralysis called Bell’s Palsy. Currently the host of the podcast The Ross Report, any fan of wrestling?from the territory days to today?will be enthralled with stories from the road and behind the scenes. Slobberknocker is the first time Ross tells his story?and you don’t want to miss it!

Download or read book Fart Quest written by Aaron Reynolds and published by Roaring Brook Press. This book was released on 2020-09-15 with total page 288 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Stay tuned for further gassy exploits." - Booklist, starred review Jam-packed with potty humor, feats of bravery, and magical friendships, Fart Quest by bestselling author Aaron Reynolds and illustrator Cam Kendell is perfect for every young hero looking for a wild adventure. After their masters are vaporized in a goblin battle gone bad, Fart, Pan, and Moxie—three lowly apprentices—decide to impersonate their mentors and pick up the mantle as heroes of the realm. But they need more than a fancy robe, magic staff, and book of magical beasts to be real heroes. They need a quest! So when The Great and Powerful Kevin puts out a call for help, seeking the coveted Golden Llama and its magical golden fart, young Fart and his friends jump at the chance and embark on a journey they were destined for. This title has Common Core connections.

Download or read book Playing the Game written by Fredrick Ulster Frank and published by iUniverse. This book was released on 2004 with total page 257 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "This book is lewd, rude and superb! Frank and Stein have written the first guide to grad school from a student's point of view; and the result is an irreverent, humorous and USEFUL book of advice. These foul-mouthed sages will help you get through a master's or doctoral program more quickly, with fewer blunders and less angst. I plan to recommend this book to all the graduate students I coach and teach." -Mary McKinney, Ph.D. Clinical Psychologist and Dissertation Coach http://www.successfulacademic.com Yes, sports fans!, er, grad school fans Bad boys Fred and Karl are back with an updated version of their best selling self-help guide for grad students. This New and/or Improved Version is stocked with additional content, more lame attempts at humor, and a lower price (Karl threatened to moon the publisher unless his demands were met). Written with the attitude of a couple ill-mannered schoolboys who exhibit the insight and genius of the Ph.D.'s who wrote it, Playing the Game simplifies even the most complex aspects of grad school. Authors Frank and Stein have broken down Playing The Game into three hilarious and straightforward sections: Getting In, Getting Through, and Getting the Hell Out. In whatever stage of graduate school you find yourself, rest assured that you will never again grumble, "If only I had known! If only someone had explained this @%#! to me sooner!" Playing the Game simplifies the entire graduate school experience while imparting comically relevant stories and translating complicated graduate school jargon. This self-help guide helps grad students to comprehensively navigate their graduate school journey from application to matriculation. Unlike most of the material you'll be reading in grad school, Playing the Game is actually intelligible. www.playing-the-game.com

Download or read book Black Silk Handkerchief written by D. L. Birchfield and published by University of Oklahoma Press. This book was released on 2006 with total page 372 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Hom-Astubby, a Choctaw lawyer-turned-photographer, suddenly finds himself at the center of the biggest manhunt and the biggest media event in Colorado's history when he befriends a huge abandoned dog while on vacation.

Download or read book Exact Thinking in Demented Times written by Karl Sigmund and published by Basic Books. This book was released on 2017-12-05 with total page 491 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A dazzling group biography of the early twentieth-century thinkers who transformed the way the world thought about math and science Inspired by Albert Einstein's theory of relativity and Bertrand Russell and David Hilbert's pursuit of the fundamental rules of mathematics, some of the most brilliant minds of the generation came together in post-World War I Vienna to present the latest theories in mathematics, science, and philosophy and to build a strong foundation for scientific investigation. Composed of such luminaries as Kurt Gö and Rudolf Carnap, and stimulated by the works of Ludwig Wittgenstein and Karl Popper, the Vienna Circle left an indelible mark on science. Exact Thinking in Demented Times tells the often outrageous, sometimes tragic, and never boring stories of the men who transformed scientific thought. A revealing work of history, this landmark book pays tribute to those who dared to reinvent knowledge from the ground up.

Download or read book Doctor Proctor s Fart Powder written by Jo Nesbo and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2011-12-22 with total page 170 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Doctor Proctor has finally created something to help him fulfil his dream of becoming a famous inventor - a super-strength fart powder that can propel people into outer space! And with the help of his new neighbour Nilly, and Nilly's friend Lisa, Doctor Proctor's Fart Powder is ready to go worldwide! But ruthless twins Truls and Trym are determined to get hold of the powder for themselves. Their plot to spoil the Doctor's plans sparks a fart-filled adventure involving a firework extravaganza, a trip to prison and an escaped anaconda. Full of humour and witty dialogue, Jo Nesbøcreates wonderfully weird characters and lets his imagination run wild in his delightful children's book début.

Download or read book The Book of the Thousand Nights and One Night written by and published by . This book was released on 1973 with total page 634 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: