Download or read book The Funniest Quotes Book written by M. Prefontaine and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2016-06-06 with total page 140 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A fine quotation is a diamond in the hand of a man of wit and a pebble in the hand of a fool. Joseph Roux This is a collection of the funniest quotes culled by the author from the thousands that are out there to save the reader the trouble of perusing the multitude of mediocre to find the best. This is a book which you can just pick up anytime and carry on where you left off last time. It is for those who want to pep up a speech, a presentation or an email and for those who just want to sit at home and enjoy the best humorous quotations for their own amusement. In the author's view the best humorous quotations are often those which contain an essence of truth viewed from an unexpected and quirky angle unseen previously.

Download or read book Phillips Book of Great Thoughts and Funny Sayings written by Bob Phillips and published by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.. This book was released on 1993 with total page 372 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A stupendous collection of quotes, quips, epigrams, witticisms, and humorous comments. For personal enjoyment and ready reference.

Download or read book It s Kind of a Funny Story written by Ned Vizzini and published by Disney Electronic Content. This book was released on 2010-09-25 with total page 452 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Like many ambitious New York City teenagers, Craig Gilner sees entry into Manhattan's Executive Pre-Professional High School as the ticket to his future. Determined to succeed at life—which means getting into the right high school to get into the right college to get the right job—Craig studies night and day to ace the entrance exam, and does. That's when things start to get crazy. At his new school, Craig realizes that he isn't brilliant compared to the other kids; he's just average, and maybe not even that. He soon sees his once-perfect future crumbling away.

Download or read book Dick Enberg s Humorous Quotes for All Occasions written by Dick Enberg and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2000-10 with total page 260 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Pearls of wisdom and downright funny lines are bountiful in Dick Enberg's Humorous Quotes for All Occasions. Public speaking tops the list of things people fear most--above fear of snakes, falling, or even death. But Dick Enberg has the antidote. With 28 general subjects to choose from, you're bound to find just the right line to loosen your tongue and break the ice on any occasion. As baby boomers increasingly are faced with occasion for public speaking--graduations, weddings, retirement parties, anniversaries of all sorts--Dick Enberg's book will no doubt become the book of choice. Laced with humorous personal anecdotes about Enberg's own public speaking experiences throughout the years, the book is both an entertaining read and a resource of humorous material for specific occasions. It also includes technical tips on how to quickly and efficiently put together a successful humorous talk. Dick Enberg's Humorous Quotes for All Occasions will pave the way toward making the speaker and his or her audience perfectly at ease and ready for a good time.

Download or read book I Shouldn t Even Be Doing This written by Bob Newhart and published by Hachette Books. This book was released on 2006-09-19 with total page 216 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The first book ever from an icon of American comedy -- a hilarious combination of stories from his career and observations about life That stammer. Those basset-hound eyes. That bone-dry wit. There has never been another comedian like Bob Newhart. His comedy albums, movies, and two hit television series have made him a national treasure and placed him firmly in the pantheon of comedy legends. Who else has a drinking game named after him And now, at last, Newhart puts his brilliant and hysterical world view on paper. Never a punch-line comic, always more of a storyteller, he tells anecdotes from throughout his life and career, including his beginnings as an accountant and the groundbreaking success of his comedy albums and The Bob Newhart Show and Newhart, which gave him fifteen years on primetime television. And he also gives his wry, comedic twist to a multitude of topics, including golf, drinking, and family holidays. Today, Newhart appears on Desperate Housewives, in hit movies such as Elf, and in theaters around the country. Reruns of his shows air constantly on Nick at Nite -- have recently been released with great success for the first time ever on DVD. With this book, Bob Newhart gives his millions of fans a first ever opportunity to sample his unique brand of humor -- including excerpts from some of his classic routines -- on the printed page.

Download or read book The Big Book of Quotes written by M. Prefontaine and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2015-10-19 with total page 442 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Big Book of Quotes is a collection of over 3,500 quotations from some of the greatest minds that ever existed. This is a book which you can just pick up anytime and carry on where you left off last time. It is for those who want to pep up a speech, a presentation or an email and for those who just want to jump start their brains with thought provoking or amusing quotations. The essence of the best quotes are that they express a truth or an insight in a short and often amusing way. Thoughts expressed succinctly have tremendous power. They can inspire and motivate, they can get a message across and they can provide insight. I hope this book will prove useful, amusing and the quotes will resonate with you.

Download or read book The 2 320 Funniest Quotes written by and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2011-08-16 with total page 301 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Presenting the best of the best from AllGreatQuotes.com, this uproarious volume features gems on every topic, from sex and money to spouses and politics. From the witty quips of Mark Twain to the unintentionally hilarious gaffs of today’s celebrities, this collection of snappy quotes puts readers in hysterics. This uproarious volume has clever gems on every topic imaginable. It ranges from Oscar Wilde’s devious perspective on people (“Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.”) to Socrates’ ironic advice on marriage (“By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.”) to Julia Roberts’ view on keeping it real (“Your face tells a story—and it shouldn’t be a story about your drive to the doctor’s office.”). The 2,320 FunniestQuotes is perfect for readers who want a cocktail party wisecrack, Facebook wall post, or witty retort, or who are just looking for a reason to smile. Laugh until you cry with such words of wisdom as . . . God gave man a penis and a brain, but not enough blood to use both at the same time. —Robin Williams Money can’t buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. —Spike Milligan Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. —Oscar Wilde The answers to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV! —Homer Simpson When I eventually met Mr. Right, I had no idea that his first name was “Always.” —Rita Rudner Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. —George Burns

Download or read book Best Funny Quotes written by Business Books Publishing and published by . This book was released on 2019-10-14 with total page 112 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Over 500 of the best quotes in this collection of quotes Ideal for every occasion. Are you looking for the Best Funny Quotes Collection that will make you laugh out Loud? Then this is the book for you. A beautifully made compilation great book of quotes; some funny and hilarious, some wise and clever, but for sure Unforgettable Quotes to keep, treasure and share for years to come It is the perfect funny but wise book to keep next to you on your desk for moments of boredom, depression or sadness plus it also makes for the ideal funny gift for a coworker, boss, friend or family. This book is for you if you are looking for a twinge of humor in: Motivational Life Quotes Inspiring Quotes Success Quotes Love and Relationship Quotes Political Quotes Quotes on Religion, Money And more... Enjoy a wonderful collection of funny favorite quotes from ancient philosophers to modern day thinkers. Read one quote a day as a daily vitamin of inspiration, or read them in one sitting to break through negative thinking. The funny Quote book is carefully created to inspire and make you laugh on a daily basis. Find fun, laughter, guidance, wisdom, inspiration and motivation in this beautiful book containing over 500 funny quotes that you will cherish for many years to come. This handy book in a portable 6" by 9" size will be the perfect office gift that will give everyone a big laugh. The perfect Secret Santa, gag gift, Christmas, Holiday, or project employee appreciation gift for any office environment. THIS BOOK FEATURES Over 500 Different Funny quotes Stress Relieving quotes that are Great for Relaxation. 6 x 9 sized A Great Gift. Makes a wonderful gift idea for friends and family during holidays or any occasion

Download or read book Last Laughs written by Kathleen E. Miller and published by Sterling Publishing Company, Inc.. This book was released on 2006 with total page 166 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Laugh in the face of death! That’s what this bold, brash, and often irreverent collection of epitaphs encourages readers to do. It offers more than just the deceased’s name and dates of birth and death, plus a touching phrase in memorial. Instead, every fascinating quote presents an unexpectedly cheeky perspective on the tragic, like this one from Uniontown, New Jersey: "Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake; stepped on the gas pedal instead of the brake.” Some come from the gravestones of the famous: Bette Davis’s proudly notes that "she did it the hard way.” Each thought-provoking line makes an indelible contribution to our folklore.

Download or read book 500 Funny Quotes for Women written by Stan Hardy and published by . This book was released on 2021-04-09 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Want to come in a good mood instantly? Need some funny and uplifting quotes with many of the truisms from our everyday lives? Looking for a gift that everyone likes? Then, this is the book for you!Funny quotes are great; they allow us to take a quick break, relax, and take life a bit easier. And who doesn't need those in today's hectic life? Whether you are looking for an innovative way to cheer yourself up and deal with the daily stresses, stay focused and motivated, or simply trying to find a fantastic gift for a friend or a loved one, "500 Funny Quotes for Women" could be a perfect choice!Here are what this book will offer you:500 funny quotes explicitly selected for womenA collection of quotes carefully chosen from numerous sources arranged by themesAn easy book that you just pick up anytime start anywhere and always enjoy!Uplifting quotes to instantly boost mood and make you chuckle!A perfect gift to bring laughter and joy to the family, friends, and colleaguesWisdom and inspiration while being amused

Download or read book Truth in Comedy written by Charna Halpern and published by Meriwether Publishing. This book was released on 1994 with total page 164 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The 'Harold', an innovative improvisational tool, helped many actors on the road to TV and film stardom, including George Wendt (Norm on Cheers). Now it is described fully in this new book for would-be actors and comics. The 'Harold' is a form of competitive improv involving 6 or 7 players. They take a theme suggestion from the audience and 'free associate' on the theme into a series of rapid-fire one-liners that build into totally unpredictable skits with hilarious results. The 'Harold' is a fun way to 'loosen up' and learn to think quickly, build continuity, develop characterisations and sharpen humour.

Download or read book Slightly Twisted Words of Wisdom and Other Funny Sayings written by Michelle Jenkins and published by . This book was released on 2017-02-12 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Funny quotes broken out into 16 categories ranging from relationships to Health and Fitness. Things you want to say but probably should keep to yourself.

Download or read book Jewel of Atlantis written by Gena Showalter and published by Harlequin. This book was released on 2012-06-15 with total page 337 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: All Atlantis seeks the Jewel of Dunamis, which legend claims can overcome any enemy. Grayson James, human agent of the ultra-secret Otherworld Bureau of Investigation, has orders to keep it from the wrong hands—or destroy it. What he doesn't know is that Jewel is a woman, not a stone! But once he meets this precious gem, destroying her is the last thing on his mind…. Jewel, part goddess, part prophet, is a pawn in Atlantis's constant power struggles. She needs Gray's help to win freedom and uncover the secrets of her mysterious origins. Gray needs her wisdom to navigate monster-ridden Atlantis. But need blossoms into passionate love as they fight demons, dragons, vampires—and a prophecy that says the bond between them could destroy them both.

Download or read book Heroes of Olympus The Son of Neptune written by Rick Riordan and published by Disney Electronic Content. This book was released on 2011-10-04 with total page 545 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Percy is confused. When he awoke after his long sleep, he didn't know much more than his name. His brain-fuzz is lingering, even after the wolf Lupa told him he is a demigod and trained him to fight. Somehow Percy managed to make it to the camp for half-bloods, despite the fact that he had to continually kill monsters that, annoyingly, would not stay dead. But the camp doesn't ring any bells with him. Hazel is supposed to be dead. When she lived before, she didn't do a very good job of it. When the Voice took over her mother and commanded Hazel to use her "gift" for an evil purpose, Hazel couldn't say no. Now, because of her mistake, the future of the world is at risk.

Download or read book The Hating Game written by Sally Thorne and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2016-08-09 with total page 389 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Now a movie starring Lucy Hale and Austin Stowell, USA Today bestselling author Sally Thorne’s hilarious and sexy workplace comedy all about that thin, fine line between hate and love. Nemesis (n.) 1) An opponent or rival whom a person cannot best or overcome. 2) A person’s undoing 3) Joshua Templeman Lucy Hutton and Joshua Templeman hate each other. Not dislike. Not begrudgingly tolerate. Hate. And they have no problem displaying their feelings through a series of ritualistic passive aggressive maneuvers as they sit across from each other, executive assistants to co-CEOs of a publishing company. Lucy can’t understand Joshua’s joyless, uptight, meticulous approach to his job. Joshua is clearly baffled by Lucy’s overly bright clothes, quirkiness, and Pollyanna attitude. Now up for the same promotion, their battle of wills has come to a head and Lucy refuses to back down when their latest game could cost her her dream job…But the tension between Lucy and Joshua has also reached its boiling point, and Lucy is discovering that maybe she doesn’t hate Joshua. And maybe, he doesn’t hate her either. Or maybe this is just another game.

Download or read book The 2 320 Funniest Quotes written by and published by Ulysses Press. This book was released on 2011-08-16 with total page 418 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: ENJOY THE MOST HILARIOUS QUOTES OF ALL TIME Presenting the best of the best from AllGreatQuotes.com, this uproarious volume features gems on every topic, from sex and money to spouses and politics. Bringing together clever remarks from celebrities, politicians, thinkers, comedians and generally funny people, this collection of snappy quotes will leave you in hysterics. - God gave man a penis and a brain, but not enough blood to use both at the same time. -- Robin Williams - Money can't buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. -- Spike Milligan - Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. -- Oscar Wilde - The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV -- Homer Simpson - When I eventually met Mr. Right, I had no idea that his fi rst name was "Always." -- Rita Rudner - Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. -- George Burns

Download or read book The Book of Best Sports Quotes written by M. Prefontaine and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2015-11-05 with total page 108 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This is a book for those who love sport and all that goes with it. Most of us have played sports where people have said something amusing, inspirational or just exquisitely stupid. It is a part of the enjoyment of sports and those experiences are shared with team mates and competitors. This is a collection of some of the best quotes from sports stars, commentators and those who love sports. "Only he who can see the invisible can do the impossible." -Frank L. Gaines (1921 - 2012)