Download or read book Attached written by Amir Levine and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2010-12-30 with total page 305 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “Over a decade after its publication, one book on dating has people firmly in its grip.” —The New York Times We already rely on science to tell us what to eat, when to exercise, and how long to sleep. Why not use science to help us improve our relationships? In this revolutionary book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller scientifically explain why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle. Discover how an understanding of adult attachment—the most advanced relationship science in existence today—can help us find and sustain love. Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s, the field of attachment posits that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways: • Anxious people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back. • Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness. • Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving. Attached guides readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mate) follow, offering a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections with the people they love.

Download or read book Overcoming Insecure Attachment written by Tracy Crossley and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2021-10-26 with total page 280 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Permanently stop fear and anxiety from smothering the way you live your life, and stop settling for relationships that aren't right for you. Written by a behavioral relationship expert, Overcoming Insecure Attachment provides actionable steps on how to overcome insecure attachment styles and the problems they spawn with self-value, self-awareness and self-responsibility. Going beyond what traditional attachment theory books focus on, readers will follow eight proven steps that they can customize and organize in the way that best suits their unique needs, all the while being bolstered and championed by Tracy Crossley's friendly, bold tone"--Publisher's website.

Download or read book Attachment in Adulthood First Edition written by Mario Mikulincer and published by Guilford Publications. This book was released on 2010-01-04 with total page 593 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The concluding chapter reflects on the key issues addressed, considers the deeper philosophical implications of current work in the field, and identifies pivotal directions for future investigation."--BOOK JACKET.

Download or read book Attachment and the Defence Against Intimacy written by Linda Cundy and published by Routledge. This book was released on 2018-09-03 with total page 180 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This book combines attachment theory and research with clinical experience to provide practitioners with tools for engaging with individuals who are indifferent, avoidant, highly defensive, and who struggle to make and maintain intimate connections with others. Composed of four papers presented at a Wimbledon Guild conference in 2017, this text examines the origins of avoidant attachment patterns in early life, describes research tools that offer a more refined understanding of this insecure attachment pattern, explores the internal object worlds of "dismissing" adults, and considers the impact on couple relationships when one or both partners avoid intimacy or dependency. Each chapter contains case studies with children and families, adolescents, adults and couples that acknowledge the challenges of engaging with these "shut down" individuals, with authors sharing what they have learned from their patients about what is needed for effective psychotherapy. It is an accessible book full of clinical richness and insight and will be invaluable to practitioners who are interested in deepening their understanding and clinical skills from an attachment perspective.

Download or read book Avoidant Attachment written by David Lawson and published by High Value Books Limited. This book was released on 2021-06-03 with total page 114 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Does your partner experience their relationship with you through a certain detachment? Do you feel coldness and distance within the relationship that is difficult to explain? Do you strive to grow your relationship, but have been stuck in the same spot for months or even years? A partner with an avoidant attachment style of emotion can build walls and create distances in any couple relationship, can show strict communication limits and undermine a romantic relationship. The detached attitude of the avoidant attachment personality can be frustrating for a partner, who will find him or herself experiencing feelings of uselessness and/or neglect, even to the point of feeling completely abandoned. Those who in a relationship with an avoidant partner can, justifiably, take a few steps back and question the entire relationship. Similarly, in adult life, people with avoidant attachments fear losing their self-reliance. They come to think that forming a partnership with another person will lead them to lose something of themselves. They approach the relationship in a conflictual way. On the one hand, they seek it because they desire intimacy and closeness, but on the other, living the relationship as a couple forces them to confront the painful memory of primary relationships that were emotionally deficient or sources of suffering. You may already have started a family with an avoidant person and made huge efforts to try to make it all work, out of love for your partner, family and children (as well as for your own happiness!). The mechanisms of distancing the avoidant partner have very deep roots. Only knowledge of these 'protection systems' can overcome the distances with the person you love. There is no other way. I recommend that you read this book if your partner: Has a shy, detached, elusive personality or seems impervious to love and emotions. Struggles to think as a couple and to build a sense of 'US'. Obstructs, or deviates from any attempt to communicate your hurt feelings. Cannot - or will not - accept help from others. Shows boundless love for a pet but can be cool and aloof with you. Regards any request for intimacy from you as pressurising. Shows difficulties in living the sexual life of a couple in a natural way, sometimes even avoiding intimacy in their relationships. Is not aware of these dynamics, so can come to question love, to the point of thinking that they are a difficult person. Not everyone wants or has time to physically sit down with a couple counsellor. They are often not prepared for this type of specific attachment. In such a case, I can quickly advise you to throw the relationship away and try another one, simply saying that they don't love you. (sometimes, however, it's not quite like that!) Instead, you might feel: Empty and confused when you are close to your partner. Like an invader of their privacy and put aside. That there is something wrong and you feel that somehow, it's your fault. As if you are playing a constant game of 'hide and seek' in the relationship. That sometimes, you are insecure and unworthy of love. If you do not intervene soon, those in a couple relationship with an avoidant person will end up having to settle for a relationship that consists of distances, until the relationship eventually fragments. Everything you have built together will have been in vain. Understanding the wounds of attachment is the best gift you can give to your relationship, and grow and nurture intimacy.

Download or read book The Power of Attachment written by Diane Poole Heller, Ph.D. and published by Sounds True. This book was released on 2019-03-12 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: How traumatic events can break our vital connections—and how to restore love, wholeness, and resiliency in your life From our earliest years, we develop an attachment style that follows us through life, replaying in our daily emotional landscape, our relationships, and how we feel about ourselves. And in the wake of a traumatic event—such as a car accident, severe illness, loss of a loved one, or experience of abuse—that attachment style can deeply influence what happens next. In The Power of Attachment, Dr. Diane Poole Heller, a pioneer in attachment theory and trauma resolution, shows how overwhelming experiences can disrupt our most important connections— with the parts of ourselves within, with the physical world around us, and with others. The good news is that we can restore and reconnect at all levels, regardless of our past. Here, you’ll learn key insights and practices to help you: • Restore the broken connections caused by trauma • Get embodied and grounded in your body • Integrate the parts of yourself that feel wounded and fragmented • Emerge from grief, fear, and powerlessness to regain strength, joy, and resiliency • Reclaim access to your inner resources and spiritual nature “We are fundamentally designed to heal,” teaches Dr. Heller. “Even if our childhood is less than ideal, our secure attachment system is biologically programmed in us, and our job is to simply find out what’s interfering with it—and learn what we can do to make those secure tendencies more dominant.” With expertise drawn from Dr. Heller’s research, clinical work, and training programs, this book invites you to begin that journey back to wholeness.

Download or read book Avoidant written by Jeb Kinnison and published by . This book was released on 2014-10-02 with total page 228 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Jeb Kinnison's previous book on finding a good partner by understanding attachment types (Bad Boyfriends: Using Attachment Theory to Avoid Mr. (or Ms.) Wrong and Make You a Better Partner) brought lots of readers to JebKinnison.com, where the most asked-about topic was how to deal with avoidant lovers and spouses. There are many readers in troubled marriages now who are looking for help, as well as people already invested in a relationship short of marriage who'd like help deciding if they should stick with it. People in relationships with Avoidants struggle with their lack of responsiveness and inability to tolerate real intimacy. Relationships between an Avoidant and a partner of another attachment type are the largest group of unhappy relationships, and people who love their partners and who may have started families and had children with an Avoidant will work very hard to try to make their relationships work better, out of love for their partner and children as well as their own happiness. The Avoidants in these relationships are more than likely unhappy with the situation as well-retreating into their shells and feeling harassed for being asked to respond with positive feeling when they have little to give. The other reason why so many people are looking for help on this topic is that it is an almost impossible problem. Couples counsellors rarely have the time or knowledge to work with an Avoidant and will often advise the spouse to give up on a Dismissive, especially, whose lack of responsiveness looks like cruelty or contempt (and sometimes it is ) Yet there is some hope-though it may take years and require educating the Avoidant on the patterns of good couples communication, if both partners want to change their patterns toward more secure and satisfying models, it can be done. How can you tell if your partner is avoidant? Does your partner: - Seem not to care how you feel? - Frequently fail to respond to direct questions or text messages? - Accuse you of being too needy or codependent? - Talk of some past lover as ideal and compare you to them? - Act coldly toward your children and the needy? - Remind you that he or she would be fine without you? - Withhold sex or affection as punishment? If that sounds familiar, then your partner is likely avoidant. At about 25% of the population, Avoidants have shorter, more troubled relationships, and tend to divorce more frequently and divorce again if remarried. What can be done? Individual therapy for the motivated Avoidant can move their default attachment style toward security, and to the extent that problems have been made worse by an overly clingy and demanding anxious-preoccupied partner, therapy can help there, as well. Partners who read and absorb the lessons of these books will have a head start on noticing and restraining themselves when they are slipping into an unsatisfying communications pattern, and an intellectual understanding of the bad patterns is a step toward unlearning them. Not all difficult Avoidants can be reformed; that depends on both partners, the depth of their problems, and their motivation and ability to change over time. But many troubled marriages and relationships can be greatly improved, and the people in them can learn to be happier, with even modest improvements in understanding how they can best communicate support for each other. For those reading who have not read Bad Boyfriends or are less familiar with attachment types, a beefed-up section on attachment theory and attachment types from Bad Boyfriends is included. Regular readers of JebKinnison.com will find edited versions of some relevant material previously posted there.

Download or read book Trauma and the Avoidant Client Attachment Based Strategies for Healing written by Robert T. Muller and published by W. W. Norton & Company. This book was released on 2010-07-19 with total page 217 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Winner, 2011 Written Media Award, International Society for Study of Trauma & Dissociation. How to effectively engage traumatized clients, who avoid attachment, closeness, and painful feelings. A large segment of the therapy population consist of those who are in denial or retreat from their traumatic experiences. Here, drawing on attachment-based research, the author provides clinical techniques, specific intervention strategies, and practical advice for successfully addressing the often intractable issues of trauma. Trauma and the Avoidant Client will enhance the skills of all mental health practitioners and trauma workers, and will serve as a valuable, useful resource to facilitate change and progress in psychotherapy.

Download or read book Fearful Avoidant in Love written by Johanna Sparrow and published by . This book was released on 2018-02-28 with total page 106 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: You've been playing games in your relationship far too long and it's about to cost you what you really want, love. If you don't pull it together and get a grip, you know you will be alone soon. Fearing rejection and abandonment, a person with the fearful avoidant attachment style is passive-aggressive and has a hard time seeing their own worth. They question love and their actions are confusing to their partner. This book discusses all four attachment styles, but highlights the fearful avoidant partner.

Download or read book A Secure Base written by John Bowlby and published by Routledge. This book was released on 2012-11-12 with total page 226 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: As Bowlby himself points out in his introduction to this seminal childcare book, to be a successful parent means a lot of very hard work. Giving time and attention to children means sacrificing other interests and activities, but for many people today these are unwelcome truths. Bowlby’s work showed that the early interactions between infant and caregiver have a profound impact on an infant's social, emotional, and intellectual growth. Controversial yet powerfully influential to this day, this classic collection of Bowlby’s lectures offers important guidelines for child rearing based on the crucial role of early relationships.

Download or read book Overcoming Avoidant Attachment written by Juanjo Ramos and published by XinXii. This book was released on 2023-06-19 with total page 46 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Overcoming Avoidant Attachment" is a beacon of hope for individuals who have longed for deep, meaningful connections but have struggled with emotional barriers. It offers a roadmap for healing, fostering self-awareness, and cultivating the skills necessary to create and sustain fulfilling relationships. Through its empowering message and practical strategies, this book enables readers to embrace vulnerability, conquer fear, and ultimately experience the joy and fulfillment that comes with loving fearlessly. The book goes beyond understanding avoidant attachment; it invites readers on a transformative journey of self-discovery and personal growth. With empathy and wisdom, The author helps readers uncover the underlying beliefs and thought patterns that perpetuate avoidance and fear. By providing practical exercises and powerful insights, this book guides readers towards rewriting their attachment story and embracing a more secure and loving way of relating to themselves and others. Whether you are seeking to improve your existing relationships or embark on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth, "Overcoming Avoidant Attachment" is an essential companion. It is a guidebook that empowers readers to break free from the patterns of the past, transform their attachment style, and create a future filled with love, connection, and emotional fulfillment.

Download or read book Dismissive Avoidant Attachment written by Janis Bryans Psy.D and published by . This book was released on with total page 137 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Do you feel disconnected with your partner? Do you feel coldness and distance within your relationship that is difficult to explain? Are you worried about drifting apart? Attachment styles are the way in which we connect with other people. They are generally developed by infants and further refined by children, adolescents and adults. Many of the fears, beliefs and behavioural patterns you emulate as an adult are derived from how you felt in the first few years of life. Often, the dismissive avoidant sees themselves as some sort of lone wolf. They feel that they don’t need anyone and that nobody needs them. They can drift in and out of everyone’s lives without causing any sort of emotional havoc and they like that lack of accountability or obligation. They may also shy away when you open up to them. Feeling close can feel like a danger zone and so they avoid it. They value independence and ultimately fear that they will be enmeshed; the idea that a relationship will swallow them up. The only thing they tend to like less than others being vulnerable is being vulnerable themselves. It can make them feel exposed, which leads to a vicious cycle of sabotaging relationships. Understanding dismissive avoidant attachment can help you to understand why you react the way you do in relationships. If you believe that a loved one has this style of attachment, understanding where the instincts come from may also help you to respond to them. People with dismissive avoidant attachment may show signs of: - Avoidance of eye contact. - Avoidance of physical touch. - Rarely, or even never, asking for help. - Eating in abnormal or disordered ways. As children with avoidant attachment grow up, they may show signs in later relationships and behaviours, including: - The possession of an apparently high self-esteem and low assessment of others in relationships. - Trouble showing or feeling their emotions. - A sense of personal independence and freedom being more important than a partnership. - Not relying on their partner during times of stress and not letting their partner rely on them. - Seeming calm and cool in situations that generate typically high-emotions. - Discomfort with physical closeness and touch. - Using sarcastic tones. - Accusing their partner of being too clingy or overly attached. - Refusing help or emotional support from others. - Fear that closeness to a partner will cause them to get hurt. People who suffer from dismissive avoidance, during their mental growth, have come to generate this type of internal dialogue: "I'm good, but others are not really important to me. I'm fine as I am and I don't need anyone." Any person who is close to a dismissive avoidant may feel: - Ignored, devalued and unwanted. - Empty and confused when close to their partner. - That there is something wrong and somehow, it's their fault. - As if they are playing a constant game of ‘hide and seek’ in the relationship. - That sometimes, they are insecure and unworthy of love. - That they feel lonely and very sad. Such feelings, if experienced too often or too intensely, may ultimately make a relationship non-sustainable. The good news is that you can change the attachment style. It may take time, work and a great deal of understanding from people in life. However, it is possible to build intimate, secure relationships that fulfil and help you to feel safe. If you do not intervene immediately, those who have a relationship with a dismissive avoidant person will end up having to settle for a relationship made up of distances, misunderstandings and conflicts until the relationship is totally broken. Everything that has been built together will be lost forever. Understanding and managing the wounds of attachment is the best gift that you can give to your relationship.

Download or read book Avoidant Attachment A Step by step Guide to Release Abandonment Fear A Guide to Transforming Fear Into Intimacy and Creating Secure Connections in Thriving Relationships written by Paul Maselli and published by Paul Maselli. This book was released on 101-01-01 with total page 87 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: You'll acquire skills for navigating conflicts, setting boundaries, and courageously leaning into intimacy instead of avoidant distancing. You'll approach disagreements from a place of confidence and communicate needs assertively yet flexibly. Whether you grew up with inconsistent, neglectful, or traumatic caregiving experiences, the skills and activities in this book will facilitate a transformative healing journey. You'll develop the unshakable security, authenticity, and worthiness to embrace life's richest connections free from avoidant constraints and fears. Inside this empowering book, you'll unearth: • The steps to build secure, healthy relationships without sacrificing your independence. • Practical techniques to manage overwhelming emotions without withdrawing. • The ultimate guide to identifying and understanding your avoidance triggers. • How to turn your fear of abandonment into a foundation of trust. • The exact method for relinquishing control while feeling secure in your relationships. • Journal prompts to help you engage deeply without feeling vulnerable. • The essential roadmap to balancing intimacy and independence. In a world where genuine connection is increasingly valued, those with avoidant attachment styles seem to always find themselves drawing the short end of the intimacy stick. That could be a thing of the past. With this book, you can escape these patterns, heal deep-seated wounds, and finally experience the kind of relationships that always seemed so out of reach.

Download or read book Attachment written by Ross A. Thompson and published by Guilford Publications. This book was released on 2021-02-23 with total page 466 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The ongoing growth of attachment research has given rise to new perspectives on classic theoretical questions as well as fruitful new debates. This unique book identifies nine central questions facing the field and invites leading authorities to address them in 46 succinct chapters. Multiple perspectives are presented on what constitutes an attachment relationship, the best ways to measure attachment security, how internal working models operate, the importance of early attachment relationships for later behavior, challenges in cross-cultural research, how attachment-based interventions work, and more. The concluding chapter by the editors delineates points of convergence and divergence among the contributions and distills important implications for future theory and research.

Download or read book How to Do the Work written by Dr. Nicole LePera and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2021-03-09 with total page 346 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER · INSTANT INTERNATIONAL BESTSELLER From Dr. Nicole LePera, creator of "the holistic psychologist"—the online phenomenon with more than two million Instagram followers—comes a revolutionary approach to healing that harnesses the power of the self to produce lasting change. As a clinical psychologist, Dr. Nicole LePera often found herself frustrated by the limitations of traditional psychotherapy. Wanting more for her patients—and for herself—she began a journey to develop a united philosophy of mental, physical and spiritual wellness that equips people with the interdisciplinary tools necessary to heal themselves. After experiencing the life-changing results herself, she began to share what she’d learned with others—and soon “The Holistic Psychologist” was born. Now, Dr. LePera is ready to share her much-requested protocol with the world. In How to Do the Work, she offers both a manifesto for SelfHealing as well as an essential guide to creating a more vibrant, authentic, and joyful life. Drawing on the latest research from a diversity of scientific fields and healing modalities, Dr. LePera helps us recognize how adverse experiences and trauma in childhood live with us, resulting in whole body dysfunction—activating harmful stress responses that keep us stuck engaging in patterns of codependency, emotional immaturity, and trauma bonds. Unless addressed, these self-sabotaging behaviors can quickly become cyclical, leaving people feeling unhappy, unfulfilled, and unwell. In How to Do the Work, Dr. LePera offers readers the support and tools that will allow them to break free from destructive behaviors to reclaim and recreate their lives. Nothing short of a paradigm shift, this is a celebration of empowerment that will forever change the way we approach mental wellness and self-care.

Download or read book Adult Attachment written by Omri Gillath and published by Academic Press. This book was released on 2016-03-29 with total page 348 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Adult Attachment: A Concise Introduction to Theory and Research is an easy-to-read and highly accessible reference on attachment that deals with many of the key concepts and topics studied within attachment theory. This book is comprised of a series of chapters framed by common questions that are typically asked by novices entering the field of attachment. The content of each chapter focuses on answering this overarching question. Topics on the development of attachment are covered from different levels of analysis, including species, individual, and relationship levels, working models of attachment, attachment functions and hierarchies, attachment stability and change over time and across situations, relationship contexts, the cognitive underpinnings of attachment and its activation of enhancement via priming, the interplay between the attachment behavioral system and other behavioral systems, the effects of context on attachment, the contribution of physiology/neurology and genetics to attachment, the associations/differences between attachment and temperament, the conceptualization and measurement of attachment, and the association between attachment and psychopathology/therapy. TEDx talk: The Power of (Secure) Love by Omri Gillath: https://youtu.be/PgIQv-rTGgA - Uses a question-and-answer format to address the most important topics within attachment theory - Presents information in a simple, easy-to-understand way to ensure accessibility for novices in the field of attachment - Covers the main concepts and issues that relate to attachment theory, thus ensuring readers develop a strong foundation in attachment theory that they can then apply to the study of relationships - Addresses future directions in the field of attachment theory - Concisely covers material, ensuring scholars and professionals can quickly get up-to-speed with the most recent research

Download or read book Handbook of Closeness and Intimacy written by Debra J. Mashek and published by Psychology Press. This book was released on 2004-04-13 with total page 465 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This handbook brings together the latest thinking on the scientific study of closeness and intimacy from some of the most active and widely recognized relationship scholars in social and clinical psychology, communication studies, and related disciplines. Each contributing author defines their understanding of the meaning of closeness and intimacy; summarizes existing research and provides an overview of a theoretical framework; presents new ideas, applications, and previously unstated theoretical connections; and provides cross-references to other chapters to further integrate the material. The Handbook of Closeness and Intimacy will be of interest to researchers, practitioners, and students from social, clinical, and developmental psychology; family studies; counseling; and communication.