Download or read book A Year In The Life of Stephen Clarke written by Shohn Hooks and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2015-10-31 with total page 253 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The story of a year in the life of a boy named Stephen Clarke, inspire by the real life of the author. Our journey follows Stephen from attempted suicides to his search for love to his struggle to fit in. Get to know Stephen as get to know his inner most thoughts and feelings on life and the universe and everything in between.

Download or read book Paris Revealed written by Stephen Clarke and published by Open Road Media. This book was released on 2012-03-20 with total page 376 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A hilarious insider’s guide to Paris by the author of 1000 Years of Annoying the French: “Clarke’s eye for detail is terrific” (The Washington Post). Stephen Clarke may have adopted Paris as his home, but he still has an Englishman’s eye for the people, cafés, art, sidewalks, food, fashion, and romance that make Paris a one-of-a-kind city. This irreverent outsider-turned-insider guide shares local savoir faire, from how to separate the good restaurants from the bad to navigating the baffling Métro system. It also provides invaluable insights into the etiquette of public urination and the best ways to experience Parisian life without annoying the Parisians (a truly delicate art). Clarke’s witty and expert tour of the city leaves no boulevard unexplored—even those that might be better left alone.

Download or read book A Year in the Merde written by Stephen Clarke and published by Bloomsbury Publishing USA. This book was released on 2008-12-01 with total page 300 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A Year in the Merde is the almost-true account of the author's adventures as an expat in Paris. Based on his own experiences and with names changed to "avoid embarrassment, possible legal action-and to prevent the author's legs being broken by someone in a Yves Saint Laurent suit", the book is narrated by Paul West, a twenty-seven-year-old Brit who is brought to Paris by a French company to open a chain of British "tea rooms." He must manage of a group of lazy, grumbling French employees, maneuver around a treacherous Parisian boss, while lucking into a succession of lusty girlfriends (one of whom happens to be the boss's morally challenged daughter). He soon becomes immersed in the contradictions of French culture: the French are not all cheese-eating surrender monkeys, though they do eat a lot of smelly cheese, and they are still in shock at being stupid enough to sell Louisiana, thus losing the chance to make French the global language. The book will also tell you how to get the best out of the grumpiest Parisian waiter, how to survive a French business meeting, and how not to buy a house in the French countryside. The author originally wrote A Year in the Merde just for fun and self-published it in France in an English-language edition. Weeks later, it had become a word-of-mouth hit for expats and the French alike. With translation rights now sold in eleven countries and already a bestseller in the UK and France, Stephen Clarke is clearly a Bill Bryson (or a Peter Mayle...) for a whole new generation of readers who can never quite decide whether they love-or love to hate-the French.

Download or read book 1000 Years of Annoying the French written by Stephen Clarke and published by Open Road Media. This book was released on 2012-03-20 with total page 764 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The author of A Year in the Merde and Talk to the Snail offers a highly biased and hilarious view of French history in this international bestseller. Things have been just a little awkward between Britain and France ever since the Norman invasion in 1066. Fortunately—after years of humorously chronicling the vast cultural gap between the two countries—author Stephen Clarke is perfectly positioned to investigate the historical origins of their occasionally hostile and perpetually entertaining pas de deux. Clarke sets the record straight, documenting how French braggarts and cheats have stolen credit rightfully due their neighbors across the Channel while blaming their own numerous gaffes and failures on those same innocent Brits for the past thousand years. Deeply researched and written with the same sly wit that made A Year in the Merde a comic hit, this lighthearted trip through the past millennium debunks the notion that the Battle of Hastings was a French victory (William the Conqueror was really a Norman who hated the French) and pooh-poohs French outrage over Britain’s murder of Joan of Arc (it was the French who executed her for wearing trousers). He also takes the air out of overblown Gallic claims, challenging the provenance of everything from champagne to the guillotine to prove that the French would be nowhere without British ingenuity. Brits and Anglophiles of every national origin will devour Clarke’s decidedly biased accounts of British triumph and French ignominy. But 1000 Years of Annoying the French will also draw chuckles from good-humored Francophiles as well as “anyone who’s ever encountered a snooty Parisian waiter or found themselves driving on the Boulevard Périphérique during August” (The Daily Mail). A bestseller in Britain, this is an entertaining look at history that fans of Sarah Vowell are sure to enjoy, from the author the San Francisco Chronicle has called “the anti-Mayle . . . acerbic, insulting, un-PC, and mostly hilarious.”

Download or read book A Brief History of the Future written by Stephen Clarke and published by Random House. This book was released on 2011-07-07 with total page 434 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: What if teleportation was really possible? Englishman Richie Fisher is about to find out ... Richie and his wife Clara have won a weekend in New York in a newspaper competition. While Clara is off blowing their spending money, Richie wanders aimlessly, chewing on a veggie-burger, ending up in a gift-shop where he finds himself standing in front of an instant transporter machine. It looks nothing like the open-plan teleporter on Captain Kirk's Starship Enterprise; in fact, it seems more like a glorified microwave oven. Richie places his burger inside, hits the return key on the linked-up computer - and the burger disappears. But if he can teleport a half-eaten veggie-burger, what else could you do with the machine? For criminals, the possibilities are endless. Who could catch you if you beamed drugs into nostrils a hundred miles away? And how much would illegal immigrants pay to be teleported into the rich host country of their choice? Richie buys a teleporter and takes it back to England, where the chaos begins ...

Download or read book Talk to the Snail written by Stephen Clarke and published by Bloomsbury Publishing USA. This book was released on 2008-12-02 with total page 276 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Have you ever walked into a half-empty Parisian restaurant, only to be told that it's "complet"? Attempted to say "merci beaucoup" and accidentally complimented someone's physique? Been overlooked at the boulangerie due to your adherence to the bizarre foreign custom of waiting in line? Well, you're not alone. The internationally bestselling author of A Year in the Merde and In the Merde for Love has been there too, and he is here to help. In Talk to the Snail, Stephen Clarke distills the fruits of years spent in the French trenches into a truly handy (and hilarious) book of advice. Read this book, and find out how to get good service from the grumpiest waiter; be exquisitely polite and brutally rude at the same time; and employ the language of l'amour and le sexe. Everything you need is here in this funny, informative, and seriously useful guide to getting what you really want from the French.

Download or read book Merde in Europe written by Stephen Clarke and published by Random House. This book was released on 2016-05-05 with total page 333 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: THE POST-BREXIT EDITION - brand new chapters with extra EU chaos for Englishman Paul West. An Englishman, Paul West, goes to Brussels to work for a French MEP. There he gets an insider's view of what really goes on in the massive madhouse that is the EU Parliament. With the referendum on the horizon, things are even more hysterical than usual. When the Brexit result comes in, Paul has to make a decision. If he wants to work in Europe, should he apply for a French passport? But can an Englishman really become French? Can he sing the bloodthirsty 'Marseillaise'? Can he even pronounce the word 'Marseillaise'? And as Paul contemplates his own personal Brexit, the whole of Brussels seems to be going into meltdown ...

Download or read book The Merde Factor written by Stephen Clarke and published by Random House. This book was released on 2012-09-13 with total page 306 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Englishman Paul West is living the Parisian dream, and doing his best not to annoy the French. But recently things have been going très wrong: He's stuck in an apartment so small that he has to cut his baguettes in two to fit them in the kitchen. His research into authentic French cuisine is about to cause a national strike - and it could be all his fault. His Parisian business partner is determined to close their tea-room. And thinks that sexually harrassing his female employees is a basic human right. And Paul's gorgeous ex-girlfriend seems to be stalking him. Threatened with eviction, unemployment and bankrupcy, Paul realises that his personal merde factor is about to hit the fan...

Download or read book In the Merde for Love written by Stephen Clarke and published by Bloomsbury Publishing USA. This book was released on 2008-12-10 with total page 418 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The latest episode in Stephen Clarke's almost-true account of his adventures as an expat in France is just as winning as the first. This "anti-Mayle" will have readers chortling over their croissants and café au lait while Paul West struggles to solve the mysteries inherent in life in France. What is the best way to scare a gendarme? Is it really polite to sleep with your boss's mistress? And why are there no public health warnings on French nude beaches? Paul discovers how to judge a French vacationer by the rustiness of his bicycle; opens his English tearoom; and finally understands why Parisian waiters are so cranky. Just in time for spring in Paris, find out if Paul finds the perfect French mademoiselle or if it all ends in merde!

Download or read book Merde Actually written by Stephen Clarke and published by Random House Australia. This book was released on 2012-04-01 with total page 416 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the bestselling author of A Year in the Merde, the next instalment in the hilarious adventures of Paul West. 'Edgier than Bryson, hits harder than Mayle' The Times A year after arriving in France, Englishman Paul West is still struggling with some fundamental questions: What is the best way to scare a gendarme? Why are there no health warnings on French nudist beaches? And is it really polite to sleep with your boss's mistress? Paul opens his English tea room, and mutates (temporarily) into a Parisian waiter; samples the pleasures of typically French hotel-room afternoons; and, on a return visit to the UK, sees the full horror of a British office party through Parisian eyes. Meanwhile, he continues his search for the perfect French mademoiselle. But will Paul find l'amour éternel, or will it all end in merde? MERDE ACTUALLY In his second comedy of errors, Paul West continues to sabotage the entente cordiale. Author's apology: 'I'd just like to say sorry to all the suppository fans out there, because in this book there are no suppositories. There are, however, lots of courgettes, and I see this as progress. Suppositories to courgettes - I think it proves that I'm developing as a writer.' Stephen Clarke

Download or read book Dirty Bertie An English King Made in France written by Stephen Clarke and published by Random House. This book was released on 2014-05-22 with total page 402 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The entertaining biography of Edward VII and his playboy lifestyle, by Stephen Clarke, author of 1000 Years of Annoying the French and A Year in the Merde. Despite fierce opposition from his mother, Queen Victoria, Edward VII was always passionately in love with France. He had affairs with the most famous Parisian actresses, courtesans and can-can dancers. He spoke French more elegantly than English. He was the first ever guest to climb the Eiffel Tower with Gustave Eiffel, in defiance of an official English ban on his visit. He turned his French seduction skills into the diplomatic prowess that sealed the Entente Cordiale. A quintessentially English king? Pas du tout! Stephen Clarke argues that as 'Dirty Bertie', Edward learned all the essentials in life from the French.

Download or read book Merde Happens written by Stephen Clarke and published by Random House Australia. This book was released on 2012-04-01 with total page 442 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Q: What happens when an Englishman, an American, and a French woman drive across America in a Mini? A: Merde Happens ... Paul West is in deep financial merde. His only way out of debt is to accept a decidedly dodgy job that involves him touring America in a Mini, while pretending to be typically British. Also in the car is Paul's French girlfriend, Alexa, and his American poet friend, Jake, whose main aim in life is to sleep with a woman from every country in the world. Preferably in the back of Paul's Mini. But as the little car battles from New York to Miami, and then heads west, leg-room turns out to be the least of Paul's troubles. His work is being sabotaged, his tour plans are in tatters, and his love life becomes a Franco-American war zone. And as Paul knows better than anyone, when you mix love and war - merde happens ...

Download or read book The French Revolution and What Went Wrong written by Stephen Clarke and published by Arrow Books. This book was released on 2019-07-11 with total page 384 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An entertaining and eye-opening look at the French Revolution, by Stephen Clarke, author of 1000 Years of Annoying the French and A Year in the Merde. The French Revolution and What Went Wrong looks back at the French Revolution and how it's surrounded in a myth. In 1789, almost no one in France wanted to oust the king, let alone guillotine him. But things quickly escalated until there was no turning back. The French Revolution and What Went Wrong looks at what went wrong and why France would be better off if they had kept their monarchy.

Download or read book The Complete Guide to Becoming an English Teacher written by Jo Westbrook and published by SAGE Publications. This book was released on 2009-12-01 with total page 401 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Praise for the previous edition: 'This is a text that should accompany every student teacher of English and find its way on to the shelf of all practising teachers. This book excited me. It is written in a style that makes you want to try out activities and take up challenges. This book will encourage the student teacher to embrace the subject of English along with its associated values and debates' - ESCalate `If I was training to teach English today, this is the book I would want - an extraordinarily professional handbook of good practice ' - Geoff Barton, Times Educational Supplement, Teacher Magazine This essential companion for aspiring secondary English teachers has been extensively reworked to help students meet the very latest professional and academic standards, while also equipping them with the knowledge and skills they will need for the beginning of their teaching career. Focusing on the essentials needed to be a successful English teacher, the authors combine subject knowledge with ideas, examples and approaches for creating an effective, vibrant learning environment, and real examples of lesson plans and schemes of work. Each chapter clearly links practice to theoretical and critical perspectives on teaching, making this an ideal text for students working towards M-level credits or a Masters in Teaching and Learning. There are also brand new chapters which explore in greater depth specific areas of contention and challenging issues, including: - Diversities, including global perspectives on teaching English - The application and implications of using ICT - Multi-agency provision in personalising learning - Research methodologies - Transition from the training year and the first year as a teacher The latest requirements for Qualified Teacher Status are clearly signposted throughout, and activities at the end of each chapter help to reinforce knowledge and encourage reflection. Written by a team of highly respected authors, this new edition should be on every secondary English student's bookshelf.

Download or read book The Light of Other Days written by Arthur C. Clarke and published by Macmillan + ORM. This book was released on 2010-01-11 with total page 459 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From Arthur C. Clarke, the brilliant mind that brought us 2001: A Space Odyssey, and Stephen Baxter, one of the most cogent SF writers of his generation, comes a novel of a day, not so far in the future, when the barriers of time and distance have suddenly turned to glass. When a brilliant, driven industrialist harnesses cutting-edge physics to enable people everywhere, at trivial cost, to see one another at all times—around every corner, through every wall—the result is the sudden and complete abolition of human privacy, forever. Then the same technology proves able to look backward in time as well. The Light of Other Days is a story that will change your view of what it is to be human. At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.

Download or read book Childhood s End written by Arthur C. Clarke and published by RosettaBooks. This book was released on 2012-11-30 with total page 261 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In the Retro Hugo Award–nominated novel that inspired the Syfy miniseries, alien invaders bring peace to Earth—at a grave price: “A first-rate tour de force” (The New York Times). In the near future, enormous silver spaceships appear without warning over mankind’s largest cities. They belong to the Overlords, an alien race far superior to humanity in technological development. Their purpose is to dominate Earth. Their demands, however, are surprisingly benevolent: end war, poverty, and cruelty. Their presence, rather than signaling the end of humanity, ushers in a golden age . . . or so it seems. Without conflict, human culture and progress stagnate. As the years pass, it becomes clear that the Overlords have a hidden agenda for the evolution of the human race that may not be as benevolent as it seems. “Frighteningly logical, believable, and grimly prophetic . . . Clarke is a master.” —Los Angeles Times

Download or read book Dial M for Merde written by Stephen Clarke and published by Open Road Media. This book was released on 2012-03-20 with total page 342 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This international bestseller from the author of A Year in the Merde “combines the gaffes of Bridget Jones with the boldness of James Bond” (Publishers Weekly). When the glorious oceanographer Gloria Monday convinces Paul West to travel to the swank beaches of southern France—where she’s investigating caviar-smuggling cartels—he assumes he’s about to have the time of his life. But for West, France has always been full of surprises underfoot, and this trip is no exception to the rule. He’s soon dragged into an undercover investigation that goes all the way to the top and leaves him feeling sometimes like James Bond, sometimes like Inspector Clouseau. Dial M for Merde is a comic caper that pokes fun at French society at every level, from pompous politicians to grumpy waitstaff.