Download or read book 5 000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One Liners written by and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2013-11-01 with total page 312 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “I’ll never forget the words my granddad said before he kicked the bucket. He said ‘Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket.’” “The key to any marriage is spontaneity. You’ve got to be ready to leave at any time.” Bringing together some of the funniest, wittiest, and most cutting jokes the world over, Grant Tucker’s volume is the definitive collection of the quips comedians call “one-liners.” Short, sweet, and undeniably clever, one-liners hold a special place in the history of comedy, and the rise of Twitter and social media seems to have ushered in a new era of this comedic art form. With most people expressing themselves in 140 characters or less, there seems no better time to celebrate Grant’s collection and the immortal one-liner. Side-splittingly funny, 5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners has all the puns, zingers, and witty remarks you could ever ask for—and many you’d never dream of asking for. “My granddad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.” “A dyslexic man walks into a bra.” “Corduroy pillows: they’re making headlines!” “Promises are a bit like babies: fun to make but hard to deliver.” “Schizophrenia—together I can beat it.” “Drugs are never the answer. Unless the clue is: ‘Narcotics, five letters.’”
Download or read book 5 000 Laugh Out Loud Jokes and One Liners written by and published by Skyhorse. This book was released on 2021-10-19 with total page 288 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Thousands of jokes and zingers to expand your repertoire and become a master of comedy! Bringing together some of the funniest, wittiest, and most cutting jokes the world over, Grant Tucker’s volume is the definitive collection of the quips comedians call “one-liners.” Short, sweet, and undeniably clever, one-liners hold a special place in the history of comedy, and the rise of Twitter and social media seems to have ushered in a new era of this comedic art form. With most people expressing themselves in 140 characters or less, there seems no better time to celebrate Grant’s collection and the immortal one-liner. Side-splittingly funny, 5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners has all the puns, zingers, and witty remarks you could ever ask for—and many you’d never dream of asking for. “My granddad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.” “A dyslexic man walks into a bra.” “The key to any marriage is spontaneity. You’ve got to be ready to leave at any time.” “Corduroy pillows: they’re making headlines!” “Promises are a bit like babies: fun to make but hard to deliver.” “Schizophrenia—together I can beat it.” “Drugs are never the answer. Unless the clue is: ‘Narcotics, five letters.’”
Download or read book 5 000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One Liners written by and published by Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.. This book was released on 2013-11-06 with total page 313 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A treasury of the world's top-selected one-liners and jokes, published for today's generation of social media comics, includes such puns, zingers and witty remarks as "A dyslexic man walks into a bra." By the creator of The Margaret Thatcher Book of Quotations. Original. 10,000 first printing.
Download or read book The Mammoth Book of One Liners written by Geoff Tibballs and published by Robinson. This book was released on 2012-06-07 with total page 607 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A collection of 10,000 side-splitting one-line jokes arranged in categories from bestselling humour editor Geoff Tibballs. 'Is my wife dissatisfied with my body? A small part of me says yes.' 'Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.' 'I read somewhere that 26 is too old to still live with your parents. It was on a note, in my room.'
Download or read book 3000 Jokes Quips and One liners written by Dave Phillips and published by Gramercy. This book was released on 2005 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Here are hundreds of one-liners and longer jokes on subjects including animals, families, food and drink, dating, and education. This collection of clean jokes for adults (nothing off-color or offensive) is sure to prompt chuckles, giggles, and full belly laughs. A linguistics professor was lecturing his class. "In English a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, however, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. But there is no language where a double positive can form a negative." A student at the back called out: "Yeah, right."
Download or read book 500 Wacky Knock Knock Jokes written by Dora Wood and published by . This book was released on 1992 with total page 148 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Knock-knock. Who's there? Mikey. Mikey who? Mikey won't fit this lock! Knock-knock. Who's there? Pecan. Pecan who? Pecan someone your own size! And hundreds more!
Download or read book The Best Joke Book Period written by William Donohue and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2014-11 with total page 208 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Discover hundreds of jokes for every occasion! Why was the limbo dancer shocked when his wallet was stolen right out of his back pocket? Because he didn't think anyone could stoop so low. The ultimate collection of the world’s greatest funnies, The Best Joke Book (Period) keeps you laughing for hours on end. Inside, you'll find hundreds of jokes that are guaranteed to stir up a room full of smiles, including knock-knocks, witty puns, and one-liners. Complete with hilarious quotes from celebrities like Jon Stewart, Lewis Black, and Jerry Seinfeld, everyone will revel in each gut-busting moment. So whether you’re looking to add a few jokes to your repertoire, impress your buds, or improve your banter, this sidesplitting book arms you with the perfect joke for any occasion!
Download or read book An Unofficial Joke Book for Fortniters Sidesplitting Jokes and Shenanigans from Salty Springs written by Brian Boone and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2019-05-14 with total page 160 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Jump out of the Battle Bus and jump into more than eight hundred side-splitting jokes! Jump out of the Battle Bus and jump into more than eight hundred side-splitting jokes! Jokes for Fortniters is an all-new, laugh-out-loud book of jokes for you and your squad. From Battle Royale puns and wordplay to funny one-liners that will have you dancing, this hysterical book has the cleverest jokes about Fortnite and game play. Cackle your way to victory with the funniest, craziest, and silliest jokes you can fire off to everyone on the island! Inside you will find funny gags such as: What do a door and a new Fortnite player have in common? They both get “knocked” a lot. What happens after you drink too much Slurp Juice? You burp juice! What kind of pop should Fortniters never drink? Shield pop! Where do Fortniters sleep? In a nite fort! For kids ages eight and up, this is the perfect book for at home, at school, or any battle royale! You’ll enjoy telling these silly jokes to your friends and family. Get extra laughs from silly illustrations throughout!
Download or read book Knock Knock Jokes written by Efron Alan Hirsch and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2016-05-12 with total page 38 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: I believe in funny things, funny people, funny places, and a funny life. The fact of the matter is that humor and laughter are essential for our well-being and in order to maintain a high quality of life. Thus, the jokes in this book, which are specifically all knock knock jokes are nothing but the best of the best knock jokes in the world! These jokes were all gathered from real people who tell real knock knock jokes and who love knock knock jokes. I myself am a knock knock joke fanatic, and I'm always up for a good knock knock joke any day of week, any time of day! All of this said, a good knock knock joke does not only consist of the joke itself, but the way in which the joke is told. Therefore, I encourage you to try telling these jokes in different ways, try speaking at different speeds and using different tones of voice until you find the way that seems to work best for you, but most of all have fun! I wish you many hours of fun and laughter with the knock knock jokes contained in this book, they have definitely reshaped my life, and I truly hope they reshape yours and bring you many hours of pleasure telling and laughing at these super funny jokes! Enjoy!
Download or read book The Ultimate Dad Joke Book written by Hugh Murmie and published by . This book was released on 2020-05-10 with total page 108 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: New for 2020! Easy Father's Day gift for your favorite guy! The Ultimate Dad Joke Book is jam packed with family friendly, clean and hysterical jokes that are great for everyone from your toddler to your great-grandma! Buckle up and get ready for some knee slapping, head shaking and gut busting laughter every time you flip a page. Over 500 hilarious jokes, puns and one-liners Squeaky clean, family safe jokes for kids (and adults) of all ages Great selection of time honored classics and all new jokes for 2020 Grab your copy today and channel your inner dad with some amazingly groan worthy humor bombs!
Download or read book The VERY Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes written by Ian Allen and published by Portico. This book was released on 2013-08-08 with total page 178 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Why did the banana go to the doctors? Because he wasn't peeling very well! Proving the age-old maxim that ‘it’s in the way that you tell them’, Dads – for the best part of forever – have always been renowned for being truly god-awful joke tellers. Whether it’s telling them at the wrong moment, misremembering the punchline or it just simply being one of those jokes that were terrible to begin with, Dads are an embarrassment to the whole family when it comes to trying to tell jokes. The VERY Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes is full to the brim with jokes that only your dear old Dad would dare say – jokes that will make you groan, sigh ... and then probably make you groan again. Dads take great pleasure in these kinds of jokes and some of them are so rubbish they actually blossom into proper rib-ticklers – but don’t tell your dad that, it’ll only encourage him!
Download or read book Laugh Out Loud Jokes for Kids Laugh Out Loud Jokes for Kids written by Rob Elliott and published by Baker Books. This book was released on 2010-08-01 with total page 128 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Over 2 million sold! USA TODAY bestseller! Wall Street Journal bestseller! What happens to race car drivers when they eat too much? They get indy-gestion. Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids provides children ages 7-10 many hours of fun and laughter. Young readers will have a blast sharing this collection of hundreds of one-liners, knock knock jokes, tongue twisters, and more with their friends and family! This mega-bestselling book will have children rolling on the floor with laughter and is sure to be a great gift idea for any child.
Download or read book Dogs Don t Tell Jokes written by Louis Sachar and published by A&C Black. This book was released on 2013-07-26 with total page 224 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 'Why did the guy eat two dead skunks for breakfast?' 'Because dead ones squeal when you stick the fork in.' Gary W. Boone knows he was born to be a stand-up comedian. It is the rest of the kids in the class who think he is a fool. Then the Floyd Hicks Junior High School Talent Show is announced, and he starts practising his routine non-stop to get it just right. Gary's sure that this will be his big break - he'll make everyone laugh and will win the $100 prize money. But when an outrageous surprise threatens to turn his debut into a disaster, it looks as if the biggest joke of all may be on Gary himself.
Download or read book The World s Funniest Lawyer Jokes written by Steven D. Price and published by Skyhorse Publishing Inc.. This book was released on 2011-05-10 with total page 241 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The most clever, sidesplitting collection of lawyer jokes . . . bar none.
Download or read book The Funny Side of Working from Home written by Robert Frosdick and published by . This book was released on 2020-10-10 with total page 56 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: You'll soon see the Funny Side of Working From Home with this crazy collection of over 200 hilarious jokes, quips, gags and one-liners about all aspect of work; whether it be dealing with the boss, mastering video meetings or working in your pyjamas. From the downright childish to the frankly rude, this side-splitting collection is sure to having to roaring with laughter... long enough to even temporarily forget about that pile of paperwork you were supposed to have finished.We all know that working from home can be a stressful, demanding, thankless, underpaid, frustrating, monotonous and demoralising task - but enough about the positives. Sometimes you deserve to just sit back, put your feet up, relax and have a jolly good laugh and giggle....pretty much like every other day.
Download or read book I Lost My Laugh written by Curtis Brown and published by CreateSpace. This book was released on 2014-07-31 with total page 26 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Come take a Journey with Camden as his laugh leads him on a chase through the city. Along the way, running into obstacles and meeting a friend to help him capture the only thing that gives him the sound of joy. Will Camden ever get his laugh back?
Download or read book More Lunch Lines written by Dan Signer and published by Chronicle Books. This book was released on 2020-03-03 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A fresh helping of laugh-out-loud jokes from the creator of Lunch Lines! What is a sheep's favorite karate move? A lamb chop! Parents can turn lunchtime into a real treat with a joke from More Lunch Lines every day! Packed with enough jokes for a whole school year and accompanied by hilarious illustrations, this clever book serves up a fresh helping of sidesplitting jokes and riddles on topics kids love, like animals, space, and sports. Just tear out a joke and drop it in a lunch for a school year of smiles—perfect for busy parents and hectic mornings! • A perfect back-to-school gift for busy parents • Enough hilarious jokes for an entire school year! • Dan Singer is a comedy writer who has written for the TV shows A.N.T. Farm, The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, and One Day at a Time. Joke loving kids who love Lunchbox Notes and Laugh Out Loud Jokes for Kids will laugh it up for More Lunch Lines. • Joke books for kids age 5 and up • Kids lunch notes jokes • Lunch box notes Dan Signer is a comedy writer who has written for TV shows including A.N.T. Farm, The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, and One Day at a Time. He lives in Los Angeles with his wife and two sons.
