Download or read book Your Dad Stole My Rake written by Tom Papa and published by St. Martin's Press. This book was released on 2018-06-05 with total page 303 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Stand-up comedian and family man Tom Papa explores how we deal with our inescapable relatives and their bizarre behavior. A warm, hilarious book that saws deep into every branch of the family tree and uncovers the most hysterical and surprisingly meaningful aspects of our lives.
Download or read book Your Dad Stole My Rake written by Tom Papa and published by St. Martin's Press. This book was released on 2018-06-05 with total page 303 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “I have been a close friend of Tom Papa for 17 years. His lack of ability to perceive even the most basic principles of human functioning have made him an invaluable asset to me as a friend and colleague. Because he sees nothing, knows nothing and understands nothing, I always seek his advice for the most complex matters. Furthermore, I would definitely recommend whatever the name of this book is, because I know it comes from a place of pure nonsense without any knowledge of anything. He is really one of my favorite people.” —Jerry Seinfeld, author of SeinLanguage “Finally a funny book about parenting. Great observations. Great writing. Actually funny. I’ve always known Tom was hysterical, now I know he is a great writer and a fantastic storyteller. Can Tom Papa write all books?” —Jim Gaffigan, author of Dad is Fat It’s hard being a person, especially in a family, and no one knows that better than stand-up comedian, family man, and Live From Here head writer and performer, Tom Papa. How do you deal with a life filled with a whole host of characters and their bizarre, inescapable behavior? Especially when you’re related to them? Tom Papa is here to help you make sense of it all. Your Dad Stole My Rake is a hilarious and warm book that saws deep into every branch of the family tree and uncovers the most bizarre and surprisingly meaningful aspects of our lives. He exposes everyone, from crazy aunts with mustaches, grandparents who communicate by yelling, and uncles who use marijuana as a condiment. Among the topics covered: - Tiger Mom v. Ice-Cream Mom - Stop Trying to be Cool - In Defense of Family Vacations - No Fighting Before Coffee - Least Popular Baby Names - Wife Lie Detector - Your Cat Thinks You’re Too Needy Anyone who has a family, grew up in a family, or has spent time with another human being will love this book.
Download or read book You re Doing Great written by Tom Papa and published by St. Martin's Press. This book was released on 2020-05-12 with total page 327 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Comedian and Live from Here head writer Tom Papa, author of Your Dad Stole My Rake, tackles the modern condition in a heartwarming group of short essays. Tom Papa is a little worried about you. You seem stressed, overworked and, frankly, a little mixed up. Everyone is fighting an overwhelming feeling that things are getting worse, that we should be doing more, that we’re not good enough. Well, life isn't perfect. There have always been problems and there always will be. You can fight for the things you believe in, you can work really, really hard, but you shouldn't lose track of the fact that while you’re doing all that, life is flying by at lightning-fast speed. If you actually take a breath and look around you’ll realize you’re actually doing great. Here’s the thing: We live in an amazing time filled with airplanes, scooters, and peanut butter cups. We have air conditioning, blenders, and martini shakers. It's time to refocus, enjoy it all, and stop waiting for something better! Relax with comedian and Live from Here writer and performer Tom Papa as he explores his favorite subjects in 75 essays, including: You Don't Have to Live Your Best Life Don't Open the Mail I'm So Baked I Love Your Love Handles Don't Go Tubing Shut Up and Eat Recalibrate, turn off your device, and open your eyes to a better reality: You’re doing great!
Download or read book Dad Is Fat written by Jim Gaffigan and published by Crown Archetype. This book was released on 2013-05-07 with total page 290 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Jim Gaffigan never imagined he would have his own kids. Though he grew up in a large Irish-Catholic family, Jim was satisfied with the nomadic, nocturnal life of a standup comedian, and was content to be "that weird uncle who lives in an apartment by himself in New York that everyone in the family speculates about." But all that changed when he married and found out his wife, Jeannie "is someone who gets pregnant looking at babies." Five kids later, the comedian whose riffs on everything from Hot Pockets to Jesus have scored millions of hits on YouTube, started to tweet about the mistakes and victories of his life as a dad. Those tweets struck such a chord that he soon passed the million followers mark. But it turns out 140 characters are not enough to express all the joys and horrors of life with five kids, so he's now sharing it all in Dad Is Fat. From new parents to empty nesters to Jim's twenty-something fans, everyone will recognize their own families in these hilarious takes on everything from cousins ("celebrities for little kids") to growing up in a big family ("I always assumed my father had six children so he could have a sufficient lawn crew") to changing diapers in the middle of the night ("like The Hurt Locker but much more dangerous") to bedtime (aka "Negotiating with Terrorists"). Dad is Fat is sharply observed, explosively funny, and a cry for help from a man who has realized he and his wife are outnumbered in their own home.
Download or read book Trump s America written by Newt Gingrich and published by Center Street. This book was released on 2018-06-05 with total page 325 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Understanding Trump, this "essential" book reveals the truth about the Trump presidency and explains his groundbreaking plans for our nation and world (Rush Limbaugh). No one understands the "Make America Great Again" effort with more insight and experience than former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich. From his enthusiastic support of the Reagan administration to the 1994 Republican Revolution, he has spearheaded many successful initiatives to fight the Washington swamp, challenge the establishment, and restore conservative influence for his entire career. With his political expertise, Gingrich -- who has been called the President's chief explainer -- presents a clear picture of this historic presidency and its tremendous positive impact on our nation and the world. From the fight over the Southern Border Wall to the unending efforts to undermine and oppose the President, he unmasks all branches of the anti-Trump coalition, reveals the flaws in their ideological assaults, and offers a battle plan for those in Trump's America to help the President defeat these attacks. Throughout Trump's America, Gingrich distills decades of experience fighting Washington elites with a lifetime of studying history to help us understand how we can all keep working to make America great.
Download or read book Stay Hungry written by Sebastian Maniscalco and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2018-02-27 with total page 304 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From comedian and actor Sebastian Maniscalco—star of the film About My Father with Robert DeNiro—an inspiring, honest, uproarious collection of essays tracing his career from playing boxing rings and bowling alleys to reaching the pinnacles of comedy success. At twenty-four, Sebastian Maniscalco arrived in LA with a suitcase and saved up minimum wages. He knew no one and nothing about standup comedy, but he was determined to go for it anyway. Two decades later, he’s on the Forbes’ list of highest earning comedians, selling out arenas, and starring in numerous hit comedy specials including Why Would You Do That? and Is It Me?. Stay Hungry tells the story of the twenty years in between. On the way from clueless rube to standup superstar, Seb was booed off stages; survived on tips and stolen food; got advice from mentors Andrew Dice Clay, Vince Vaughn, Tony Danza, and Jerry Seinfeld; fell in love; and stayed true to his Italian-immigrant roots. The one code that always kept him going: stay hungry, keep focused, never give up, and one day, you’ll make it.
Download or read book Feeding My Mother written by Jann Arden and published by Vintage Canada. This book was released on 2019-03-05 with total page 210 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This edition of the inspirational #1 bestseller draws on a new year of Jann's diaries and her mother's final days. When beloved singer and songwriter Jann Arden's parents built a house just across the way from her, she thought they would be her refuge from the demands of her career. And for a time that was how it worked. But then her dad fell ill and died, and just days after his funeral, her mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. In Feeding My Mother, Jann shares what it is like for a daughter to become her mother's caregiver—in her own frank and funny words, and in recipes she invented to tempt her mom. Full of heartbreak, but also full of love and wonder.
Download or read book Sorry You re Lost written by Matt Blackstone and published by Macmillan. This book was released on 2014-01-21 with total page 320 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "A boy deals with the recent loss of his mother and his odyssey to find a date for the end-of-year school dance"--
Download or read book The Perfect Rake written by Anne Gracie and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2005-07-05 with total page 372 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A phony engagement turns into real passion in this delightful Regency romance from award-winning author Anne Gracie. Fate has lavished beauty on the Merridew sisters—that is, all save the eldest. But plain Prudence bears no grudge; she loves her four beautiful sisters infinitely. So when their abusive grandfather is laid up with an injury, she seizes the opportunity to concoct an ingenious plan that will allow all five of them to escape the clutches of their legal guardian. All it will take is a little matrimonial deception... A renowned rake, Gideon, Lord Carradice, has a way of making ladies swoon. But when Prudence arrives at his doorstep and mistakes him for his cousin, the Duke, it is Gideon who’s infatuated. The delightful spitfire claims she and the Duke are engaged—although a taller tale was never told. In spite of the lies, Gideon is so taken with charming Prudence that he’s eager to join her game, especially if it will award him a stolen kiss or two. Now, Prudence’s plot is about to go terribly, albeit deliciously, awry...
Download or read book Papa Please Get the Moon for Me written by Eric Carle and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2015-08-04 with total page 15 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In a book with foldout pages, Monica's father fulfills her request for the moon by taking it down after it is small enough to carry, but it continues to change in size.
Download or read book Living Up The Street written by Gary Soto and published by Laurel Leaf. This book was released on 1992-02-01 with total page 178 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In a prose that is so beautiful it is poetry, we see the world of growing up and going somewhere through the dust and heat of Fresno's industrial side and beyond: It is a boy's coming of age in the barrio, parochial school, attending church, public summer school, and trying to fall out of love so he can join in a Little League baseball team. His is a clarity that rings constantly through the warmth and wry reality of these sometimes humorous, sometimes tragic, always human remembrances.
Download or read book Godforsaken Idaho written by Shawn Vestal and published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. This book was released on 2013 with total page 227 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Nine stories illuminate what it means to be Mormon and how faith serves to humanize, in a work that includes a seriocomic portrait of a young Joseph Smith.
Download or read book When Life Gives You Pears written by Jeannie Gaffigan and published by Grand Central Publishing. This book was released on 2019-10-01 with total page 283 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Big Sick meets Dad is Fat in this funny and heartfelt New York Times bestselling memoir from writer, director, wife, and mother, Jeannie Gaffigan, as she reflects on the life-changing impact of her battle with a pear-sized brain tumor. In 2017, Jeannie's life came to a crashing halt when she was diagnosed with a life-threatening brain tumor. As the mother of 5 kids -- 6 if you include her husband -- sat in the neurosurgery department in star-covered sweats too whimsical for the seriousness of the situation, all she could think was "Am I going to die?" Thankfully, Jeannie and her family were able to survive their time of crisis, and now she is sharing her deeply personal journey through this miraculous story: the challenging conversations she had with her children; how she came to terms with feeling powerless and ferociously crabby while bedridden and unable to eat for a month; and how she ultimately learned, re-learned and re re-learned to be more present in life. With sincerity and hilarity, Jeannie invites you into her heart (and brain) during this trying time, emphasizing the importance of family, faith and humor as keys to her recovery and leading a more fulfilling life.
Download or read book Heat written by Mike Lupica and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2007-03-01 with total page 244 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The #1 Bestseller! Michael Arroyo has a pitching arm that throws serious heat along with aspirations of leading his team all the way to the Little League World Series. But his firepower is nothing compared to the heat Michael faces in his day-to-day life. Newly orphaned after his father led the family’s escape from Cuba, Michael’s only family is his seventeen-yearold brother Carlos. If Social Services hears of their situation, they will be separated in the foster-care system—or worse, sent back to Cuba. Together, the boys carry on alone, dodging bills and anyone who asks too many questions. But then someone wonders how a twelve-year-old boy could possibly throw with as much power as Michael Arroyo throws. With no way to prove his age, no birth certificate, and no parent to fight for his cause, Michael’s secret world is blown wide open, and he discovers that family can come from the most unexpected sources. Perfect for any Little Leaguer with dreams of making it big--as well as for fans of Mike Lupica's other New York Times bestsellers Travel Team, The Big Field, The Underdogs, Million-Dollar Throw, and The Game Changers series, this cheer-worthy baseball story shows that when the game knocks you down, champions stand tall.
Download or read book Doctor Sleep written by Stephen King and published by Pocket Books. This book was released on 2019-09-24 with total page 656 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Soon to be a major motion picture starring Ewan McGregor! From master storyteller Stephen King, his unforgettable and terrifying sequel to The Shining—an instant #1 New York Times bestseller that is “[a] vivid frightscape” (The New York Times). Years ago, the haunting of the Overlook Hotel nearly broke young Dan Torrance’s sanity, as his paranormal gift known as “the shining” opened a door straight into hell. And even though Dan is all grown up, the ghosts of the Overlook—and his father’s legacy of alcoholism and violence—kept him drifting aimlessly for most of his life. Now, Dan has finally found some order in the chaos by working in a local hospice, earning the nickname “Doctor Sleep” by secretly using his special abilities to comfort the dying and prepare them for the afterlife. But when he unexpectedly meets twelve-year-old Abra Stone—who possesses an even more powerful manifestation of the shining—the two find their lives in sudden jeopardy at the hands of the ageless and murderous nomadic tribe known as the True Knot, reigniting Dan’s own demons and summoning him to battle for this young girl’s soul and survival...
Download or read book Falling Backwards written by Jann Arden and published by Vintage Canada. This book was released on 2012-02-21 with total page 290 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Jann Arden is funny. And sincere. She has legions of devoted fans. And a radio show. She is a darling of the music scene—always candid, always unplugged. You thought you knew Jann Arden, but there is more—to her readers' delight, in Falling Backwards Jann reveals her childhood, her bond with family, her struggle in the formative years and what keeps her so grounded in the whirlwind entertainment industry. Jann has always been true to herself, except for a minor lapse when she was young. Oh wait, wasn't that all of us? From the tender and honest to the laugh-out-loud funny, Jann's stories from home and from the road during her pre-celebrity years will take you to unexpected places, including high school parties in farmer's fields, sleepovers under the stars, hard-to-believe summer jobs and the time she was stuck upside down in a brick barbecue. She reminds us of the inestimable value to a child of having teachers who believe in you and wide open spaces to play. But with the good times come the bad (and not just the bad perm). Jann opens up about the darker side of her so-called prairie perfect nuclear family and the first signs that her eldest brother was a uniquely troubled young man. In the days when Jann was experiencing a lot of firsts—first school play, first home perm, first kiss—how lucky for all of us that she stole away to her basement and taught herself her first song on her mother's guitar. In addition to being an incredible musician and multi-award-winning lyricist, Jann is a natural writer and simply an inspiration. Jann will capture your heart—and keep you in stitches—with her powerful stories about coming of age as an artist and as a human being. Jann brings her wit and that infectious sparkle to everything she does. This book is no exception.
Download or read book Legend written by Marie Lu and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2011-11-29 with total page 318 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Legend doesn't merely survive the hype, it deserves it." From the New York Times bestselling author of The Young Elites What was once the western United States is now home to the Republic, a nation perpetually at war with its neighbors. Born into an elite family in one of the Republic's wealthiest districts, fifteen-year-old June is a prodigy being groomed for success in the Republic's highest military circles. Born into the slums, fifteen-year-old Day is the country's most wanted criminal. But his motives may not be as malicious as they seem. From very different worlds, June and Day have no reason to cross paths - until the day June's brother, Metias, is murdered and Day becomes the prime suspect. Caught in the ultimate game of cat and mouse, Day is in a race for his family's survival, while June seeks to avenge Metias's death. But in a shocking turn of events, the two uncover the truth of what has really brought them together, and the sinister lengths their country will go to keep its secrets. Full of nonstop action, suspense, and romance, this novel is sure to move readers as much as it thrills.
