Download or read book You Say Tomato I Say Shut Up written by Annabelle Gurwitch and published by Crown. This book was released on 2011-02-08 with total page 274 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this hilarious and ultimately moving memoir, comedians and real-life married couple Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn prove that in marriage, all you need is love—and a healthy dose of complaining, codependence, and pinot noir. After thirteen years of being married, Annabelle and Jeff have found “We’re just not that into us.” Instead of giving up, they’ve held their relationship together by ignoring conventional wisdom and fostering a lack of intimacy, by using parenting as a competitive sport, and by dropping out of couples therapy. The he-said/she-said chronicle of their intense but loving marriage includes an unsentimental account of the medical odyssey that their family embarked upon after their infant son was diagnosed with VACTERL, a very rare series of birth defects. Annabelle and Jeff’s unforgivingly raw, uproariously funny story is sure to strike both laughter and terror in the hearts of all couples (not to mention every single man or woman who is contemplating the connubial state). Serving up equal parts sincerity and cynicism, You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up is a laugh-out-loud must-read for everyone who has come to realize that being “in love” can only get you so far. On Cohabitation He says: “Within days of Annabelle’s arrival, I became very aware that she demanded solitude and had the housekeeping habits of a feral animal.” She says: “The guy had some sort of nudity radar. When I would take my clothes off for even a second, Jeff would be in front of me cheering as if he’d scored box seats at Fenway Park.” On Sex He says: “I want to have sex every day, but Annabelle only wants to do it once a week. So we compromise: we have sex once a week.” She says: “Jeff says talking about money before you have sex is a turnoff, but it’s only a turnoff if you’re talking about not having money. Talking about money before you have sex when you have money is actually a turn-on.” On Pregnancy He says: “For God’s sake, all I wanted to do was have sex without a condom for a little while; now we were moments from bringing a new life into the world!” She says: “My ass was expanding so fast it was like a Starbucks franchise. On every corner of my ass there was a new branch of ass opening up.”
Download or read book I See You Made an Effort written by Annabelle Gurwitch and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2014-03-06 with total page 240 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “Annabelle Gurwitch is the child prodigy of the literature on aging. The only downside of this book is that it is bound to deepen your laugh lines.”—Barbara Ehrenreich, author of Nickel and Dimed Actor and humorist Annabelle Gurwitch returns with a wickedly funny book of essays about the indignities faced by femmes d’un certain âge. Whether she is falling in lust at the Genius Bar, coping with her best friend’s assisted suicide, or navigating the extensive—and treacherously expensive—anti-aging offerings at the beauty counter, Gurwitch confronts middle age with candor, wit, and a healthy dose of self-deprecation. Scorchingly honest, surreally and riotously funny, I See You Made an Effort is the ultimate coming-of-middle-age story and according to Bill Maher, "it should be required reading for anyone between the ages of 40 and death. Scratch that—even after death, it's a must read."
Download or read book You re Leaving When written by Annabelle Gurwitch and published by Catapult. This book was released on 2022-03-08 with total page 225 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Finalist for the Thurber Prize for American Humor "In this surprisingly upbeat memoir, Annabelle Gurwitch writes about the financial curveballs that can hit you in midlife . . . Somehow, Ms. Gurwitch manages to find humor in these setbacks. Ultimately, this is a story about harnessing resilience and learning how life’s disappointments can teach you about the things that matter most." —Tara Parker-Pope, The New York Times From the New York Times bestselling author of I See You Made an Effort comes a timely and hilarious chronicle of downward mobility, financial and emotional. With signature "sharp wit" (NPR), Annabelle Gurwitch gives irreverent and empathetic voice to a generation hurtling into their next chapter with no safety net and proves that our no-frills new normal doesn't mean a deficit of humor. In these essays, Gurwitch embraces homesharing, welcoming a housing-insecure young couple and a bunny rabbit into her home. The mother of a college student in recovery who sheds the gender binary, she relearns to parent, one pronoun at a time. She wades into the dating pool in a Miss Havisham-inspired line of lingerie and flunks the magic of tidying up. You're Leaving When? is for anybody who thought they had a semblance of security but wound up with a fragile economy and a blankie. Gurwitch offers stories of resilience, adaptability, low-rent redemption, and the kindness of strangers. Even in a muted Zoom.
Download or read book Fired written by Annabelle Gurwitch and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2007-01-02 with total page 260 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From an all-star lineup of contributors comes this collection of hilarious-but-true tales of being axed, downsized, booted, pink-slipped, and terminated. Soon to be a touring play and a documentary film.
Download or read book Shut Up and Cook written by Erica Reid and published by BenBella Books, Inc.. This book was released on 2017-05-02 with total page 298 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Say Goodbye to Your Excuses and Hello to Easy, Healthy Recipes We all want to eat healthier and feel better, but we don't always know where to start—and stepping into the kitchen can feel overwhelming. Sound familiar? Shut Up and Cook! provides simple, healthy recipes for all lifestyles, dietary habits, and tastes. After noticing how certain chemicals and ingredients were impacting her family's energy and well-being, author Erica Reid realized prioritizing health begins in the kitchen. In Shut Up and Cook!, Erica—a healthy-living expert, mother, and wife to legendary music mogul LA Reid—shows you that creating nourishing meals can be inspiring and fun! Shut Up and Cook! features 101 healthy, everyday recipes with adaptations to suit your health needs that are easy for any level of experience including: • Rice-Free Cauliflower Sushi Rolls • Chocolate Chip Cookies with Crispy Kale • Game-Day Buffalo Chicken Wings • Dairy-Free Challah Vanilla French Toast With the right tools and Erica by your side, you can cook wholesome, delicious food. Set aside the reasons why you can't be healthier and shut up and cook!
Download or read book Wherever You Go There They Are written by Annabelle Gurwitch and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2018-04-10 with total page 322 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A hilarious new collection of essays from New York Times bestselling author Annabelle Gurwitch When Annabelle Gurwitch was a child, surrounded by a cast of epically dysfunctional relatives, she secretly prayed that it was all a terrible mistake. Suffering from a colossal case of “family envy,” Gurwitch began seeking out other forms of community. If she’s learned anything, it’s that no matter how hard you try to escape a crazy family, you just end up in another crazy family. Using her own clan of hucksters and scam artists as inspiration, Wherever You Go, There They Are unpacks and redefines our ideas of community and belonging. In her essays, Gurwitch explores family mythologies, the fragility of sisterhood, the rituals and rites of passage into urban tribes, the seductive charm of a cult, and the spectacularly daunting search for the community where her aging parents will spend the last chapter of their lives. With a wry wit and healthy dose of irresistible self-deprecation, Gurwitch asks: Who and what makes a family in our modern society? Is it our blood relations, the people we work with, pray with, our pets? By turns hilarious and deeply moving, Wherever You Go, There They Are is an irreverent, laugh-out-loud examination of family—both those that we join unwittingly and those we join on purpose.
Download or read book And I Don t Want to Live This Life written by Deborah Spungen and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 2011-10-12 with total page 417 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “Honest and moving . . . Her painful tale is engrossing.”—Washington Post Book World For most of us, it was just another horrible headline. But for Deborah Spungen, the mother of Nancy, who was stabbed to death at the Chelsea Hotel, it was both a relief and a tragedy. Here is the incredible story of an infant who never stopped screaming, a toddler who attacked people, a teenager addicted to drugs, violence, and easy sex, a daughter completely out of control—who almost destroyed her parents’ marriage and the happiness of the rest of her family.
Download or read book The Idea of You written by Robinne Lee and published by St. Martin's Griffin. This book was released on 2017-06-13 with total page 320 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Now an original movie on Prime Video starring Anne Hathaway and Nicholas Galitzine! When Solène Marchand, the thirty-nine-year-old owner of a prestigious art gallery in Los Angeles, takes her daughter, Isabelle, to meet her favorite boy band, she does so reluctantly and at her ex-husband’s request. The last thing she expects is to make a connection with one of the members of the world-famous August Moon. But Hayes Campbell is clever, winning, confident, and posh, and the attraction is immediate. That he is all of twenty years old further complicates things. What begins as a series of clandestine trysts quickly evolves into a passionate relationship. It is a journey that spans continents as Solène and Hayes navigate each other’s disparate worlds: from stadium tours to international art fairs to secluded hideaways in Paris and Miami. And for Solène, it is as much a reclaiming of self, as it is a rediscovery of happiness and love. When their romance becomes a viral sensation, and both she and her daughter become the target of rabid fans and an insatiable media, Solène must face how her new status has impacted not only her life, but the lives of those closest to her.
Download or read book We Have Always Lived in the Castle written by Shirley Jackson and published by Lightyear Press. This book was released on 1990 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Merricat Blackwood protects her sister, Constance, from the curiosity and hostility of the villagers after murders occur on the family estate.
Download or read book Note to Self written by Andrea Buchanan and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2009-01-06 with total page 647 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Thirty inspiring women share the enduring lessons they have learned from the defining moments of their lives. Life rarely works out exactly as we plan. Rejection by a cherished friend, the onset of an unexpected illness, struggle with body image and self-perception -- these experiences may challenge us, but our triumphs come to define us. We find comfort, joy, tears, and laughter in the wisdom, insight, and empathy we gain. In Note to Self, thirty dynamic women share their inspirational stories with writer, director, and television and film producer Andrea Buchanan. Celebrities such as Grammy Award-winning rock star Sheryl Crow and Emmy Award-winning actress Camryn Manheim join stuntwoman Stacy Courtney, football player Katie Hnida, seventy- year-old HIV-positive grandmother Beverly London, and alcoholic-turned-interventionist Candy Finnigan to reflect on their unforgettable stories of redemption. Punctuated by tears and laughter, these poignant tales are full of incredible strength, invaluable knowledge, insurmountable odds, helpful survival instincts, amazing willpower, humiliation -- sometimes on a national level -- and a hefty dose of humor. These unstoppable women emerged stronger, wiser, and more successful from the often painful and humbling turning points in their lives. While none of their unique stories will fit neatly on a sticky note you can tape to your wall, each of them carries an indelible message that can.
Download or read book The Long Weeping written by Jessie Van Eerden and published by . This book was released on 2017 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this collection of portraits, the eye is the vital ''lamp of the body, '' a spiritual organ van Eerden uses to craft essays that are as much encounters as they are likenesses, as much being seen as seeing. Historical subjects like Simone Weil and the Beguines confront the author's imaginative and intellectual being, while the viscerally close foci of family and a lost marriage must also be reckoned with. The author's religious tradition and the rural landscape of Terra Alta, West Virginia are two backgrounds that are neither chosen nor fully understood, but van Eerden's attention to these matters becomes its own form of devotion, a longing to see and to believe--the longing itself taking on the robustness of faith. This is the common goal of these essays, to fully meet each subject and return to it some form of wholeness, a quest full of lush imagery and insights. -- From Amazon description.
Download or read book Shut Up and Listen written by Tilman Fertitta and published by HarperCollins Leadership. This book was released on 2019-09-17 with total page 193 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Shut Up and Listen! is a true leadership roadmap to the summit of career success and satisfaction, featuring concise principles for entrepreneurs and business leaders at any level. Tilman Fertitta, also known as the Billion Dollar Buyer, started his hospitality empire thirty years ago with just one restaurant. Over the years, he’s stayed true to the principles that helped him build the largest single-shareholder company in America, with over $4 billion in revenue, including hundreds of restaurants (Landry’s Seafood, Bubba Gump Shrimp Company, Morton’s Steakhouse, Mastro’s, Rainforest Café, and over forty more restaurant concepts) and five Golden Nugget Casinos. He’s also sole owner of the NBA’s Houston Rockets. This book shares the key insights that made it all possible. In Shut Up and Listen!, Fertitta shares straight-talk “Tilmanisms” around six key action items that any entrepreneur can adopt today: Be the Bull No Spare Customers Change, Change, Change Know Your Numbers Follow the 95/5 Rule Take No Out of Your Vocabulary For aspiring entrepreneurs or people in business, this guide will help you take your company to the next level. When you put this book down, you’ll know what you’re doing right and what you’re doing wrong to operate your business, and if you’re just getting started, it will help set you up for success. A groundbreaking, no-holds-barred book, Shut Up and Listen! offers practical, hard-earned wisdom from one of the most successful business owners in the world.
Download or read book If Ignorance Is Bliss Why Aren t There More Happy People written by John Lloyd and published by Crown. This book was released on 2009-08-04 with total page 418 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: John Lloyd and John Mitchinson have proven themselves to be masters at digging up obscure facts, abstruse information, and amusing anecdotes and presenting them effortlessly, somewhat slyly, with either great wit or at least a little bit of tongue in cheek. Their gifts are on full display in Quote Interesting, a lively, wonderfully enjoyable anthology of hundreds of quotes you probably have never heard before, arranged thematically from A to Z. From laugh-out-loud-funny bon mots to some real headscratchers, Lloyd and Mitchinson have gathered a universe of star-studded blurbs like: “The Beatles are dying in the wrong order.” —Victor Lewis Smith “When you forget to eat, you know you’re alive.” —Henry James “I think people would be alive today if there were a death penalty.” —Nancy Reagan “You know ‘that look’ women get when they want sex? Me neither.” —Steve Martin
Download or read book The Great Influenza written by John M. Barry and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2005-10-04 with total page 580 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: #1 New York Times bestseller “Barry will teach you almost everything you need to know about one of the deadliest outbreaks in human history.”—Bill Gates "Monumental... an authoritative and disturbing morality tale."—Chicago Tribune The strongest weapon against pandemic is the truth. Read why in the definitive account of the 1918 Flu Epidemic. Magisterial in its breadth of perspective and depth of research, The Great Influenza provides us with a precise and sobering model as we confront the epidemics looming on our own horizon. As Barry concludes, "The final lesson of 1918, a simple one yet one most difficult to execute, is that...those in authority must retain the public's trust. The way to do that is to distort nothing, to put the best face on nothing, to try to manipulate no one. Lincoln said that first, and best. A leader must make whatever horror exists concrete. Only then will people be able to break it apart." At the height of World War I, history’s most lethal influenza virus erupted in an army camp in Kansas, moved east with American troops, then exploded, killing as many as 100 million people worldwide. It killed more people in twenty-four months than AIDS killed in twenty-four years, more in a year than the Black Death killed in a century. But this was not the Middle Ages, and 1918 marked the first collision of science and epidemic disease.
Download or read book From Binge to Blackout written by Chris Volkmann and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2006-08-01 with total page 436 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Throughout his college years, Toren Volkmann partied like there was no tomorrow, having what was supposed to be the time of his life. Like so many parents, his mother, Chris, overlooked Toren’s growing alcohol problem. But when he graduated, Toren realized he’d become a full-blown alcoholic. And he was not alone. Considered a rite of passage, teenage drinking has skyrocketed to epidemic proportions, fostering a generation of young adults whose lives are already beginning to come apart under the strain. This book, written from the viewpoints of both mother and son, is a riveting, enlightening, and heartbreakingly true story of a family that was able to confront the fear, pain, and denial that threatened to destroy them—and survive the epidemic of teenage drinking that’s putting America’s future at risk.
Download or read book The Garden Party and Other Stories written by Katherine Mansfield and published by . This book was released on 1922 with total page 278 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book Think Like a Chef written by Tom Colicchio and published by Clarkson Potter. This book was released on 2012-07-18 with total page 447 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: With Think Like a Chef, Tom Colicchio has created a new kind of cookbook. Rather than list a series of restaurant recipes, he uses simple steps to deconstruct a chef's creative process, making it easily available to any home cook. He starts with techniques: What's roasting, for example, and how do you do it in the oven or on top of the stove? He also gets you comfortable with braising, sautéing, and making stocks and sauces. Next he introduces simple "ingredients" -- roasted tomatoes, say, or braised artichokes -- and tells you how to use them in a variety of ways. So those easy roasted tomatoes may be turned into anything from a vinaigrette to a caramelized tomato tart, with many delicious options in between. In a section called Trilogies, Tom takes three ingredients and puts them together to make one dish that's quick and other dishes that are increasingly more involved. As Tom says, "Juxtaposed in interesting ways, these ingredients prove that the whole can be greater than the sum of their parts," and you'll agree once you've tasted the Ragout of Asparagus, Morels, and Ramps or the Baked Free-Form "Ravioli" -- both dishes made with the same trilogy of ingredients. The final section of the books offers simple recipes for components -- from zucchini with lemon thyme to roasted endive with whole spices to boulangerie potatoes -- that can be used in endless combinations. Written in Tom's warm and friendly voice and illustrated with glorious photographs of finished dishes, Think Like a Chef will bring out the master chef in all of us.
