Download or read book You Are Old written by Scott Dikkers and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2012-08-07 with total page 130 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the "New York Times"-bestselling authors of "You Are Worthless "and "Just Give Up" comes an even less-inspiring book for those past their prime, with advice from a sad and seriously inept marriage and family counselor who is one of Dikkers' most hilarious creations.
Download or read book You re Old I m Old Get Used to It written by Virginia Ironside and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2010-10-07 with total page 200 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: No-nonsense, wryly self-deprecating, and totally persuasive, You're Old, I'm Old...Get Used to It! unabashedly exalts the virtues of aging. Virginia Ironside wants you to know that getting old is a good thing-and not in that dreadful “sixty is the new forty” way. At sixty-five, she has no interest in pretending to be young and neither should you. Virginia celebrates all the “issues” that she and her fellow oldies embrace, including: • Talking about ailments (and the fabulous meds that come with them) • Grandchildren (the reward you get for not killing your children) • Wisdom (random disorganized knowledge you get to put a fancy label on because you're old)
Download or read book You re Only Old Once written by Dr. Seuss and published by RH Childrens Books. This book was released on 2013-11-05 with total page 28 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Join in on the fun (and funny) journey of getting older with this hilarious Dr. Seuss picture book—it’s just what the doctor ordered for new retirees, old souls, and kids at heart--and makes a perfect gift to celebrate birthdays and other milestones!" The Doctor is in...Dr. Seuss that is! Readers will laugh along with the parade of medical madness as an elderly patient is poked, prodded and ogled during his stay at the “Golden Years Clinic on Century Square for Spleen Readjustment and Muffler Repair.” Once again, Dr. Seuss proves that his sharp wit and colorful imagination are a treat for readers of all ages. A perfect gift for retirement, birthdays, graduations, holidays, and anyone needing a little pick-me-up after a doctor’s visit!
Download or read book You re Old AF written by SUMMERSDALE PUBLISHERS and published by . This book was released on 2019-06-13 with total page 160 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Have you stopped getting your freak on and started getting your creak on? Do your hobbies now include 'napping', 'relaxing' and 'having a quiet one'? Have you found you've more in common with your nan than your peers? It sounds like you're OLD AF! Get out your fun slippers and sit back with this collection of hilarious quips and too-true quotes for the old at heart.
Download or read book When You Are Old written by William Butler Yeats and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2015-06-09 with total page 370 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Beautiful early writings by one of the 20th century’s greatest poets on the 150th anniversary of his birth A Penguin Classic The poems, prose, and drama gathered in When You Are Old present a fresh portrait of the Nobel Prize–winning writer as a younger man: the 1890s aesthete who dressed as a dandy, collected Irish folklore, dabbled in magic, and wrote heartrending poems for his beloved, the beautiful, elusive Irish revolutionary Maud Gonne. Included here are such celebrated, lyrical poems as “The Lake Isle of Innisfree” and “He Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven,” as well as Yeats’s imaginative retellings of Irish fairytales—including his first major poem, “The Wanderings of Oisin,” based on a Celtic fable—and his critical writings, which offer a fascinating window onto his artistic theories. Through these enchanting works, readers will encounter Yeats as the mystical, lovelorn bard and Irish nationalist popular during his own lifetime. For more than seventy years, Penguin has been the leading publisher of classic literature in the English-speaking world. With more than 1,700 titles, Penguin Classics represents a global bookshelf of the best works throughout history and across genres and disciplines. Readers trust the series to provide authoritative texts enhanced by introductions and notes by distinguished scholars and contemporary authors, as well as up-to-date translations by award-winning translators.
Download or read book 101 Things to Do Before You re Old and Boring written by Helen Szirtes and published by Bloomsbury Publishing USA. This book was released on 2006-10 with total page 226 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Describes and illustrates how one should make a "to do" list, so as not to get old and boring, like send a message in a bottle, touch creatures, host a party, and much more.
Download or read book Don t Eat Dog Food When You re Old written by Roger Roemmich and published by iUniverse. This book was released on 2013-06 with total page 199 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An estimated seventy-eight million baby boomers will hit retirement age in the coming decades. It's an exciting time, but many retirees miscalculate their retirement readiness before leaving their jobs and seeking a more carefree life. In Don't Eat Dog Food When You're Old! author Roger Roemmich who has more than forty years experience in the field of finance presents a big-picture look at what you need to know to plan for your retirement or to better manage the various components of your financial life if you already are retired. In this guide Roemmich first looks at whether you can afford to retire and then discusses retirement planning and financial management. He introduces his unique CAMP score methodology considering cash flow, aging, medical needs, and purchasing power that both provides a basis for quick evaluation of retirement readiness and serves to identify remedies for inadequacies. He also identifies the most important aspects of six key areas and helps show how they factor into having excellent cash flow throughout retirement. You can calculate your retirement readiness accurately if you know the right questions to ask. Roemmich's guide which assumes little or no prior knowledge but a keen interest in doing the right thing helps you move forward carefully and confidently so that you can enjoy financial peace of mind during your golden years.
Download or read book Aren t You Glad You Re Old written by Marie Albertson and published by iUniverse. This book was released on 2021-02-17 with total page 117 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Aren’t You Glad You’re Old? Is dedicated to all people considered in the old age category. In less than fifteen years, people over 65 will outnumber those under the age of 18. With these statistics, come changes – a demographic shift that poses a set of challenges not seen before. Since we are all living longer, it is up to us to find a way to relax and enjoy our later years. One way is to find humor in most situations. Marie writes about some of her humorous situations and hopes you find her personal essays amusing enough to bring a laugh or smile to your life. And as a true librarian, after each essay she recommends a book that will add more information to the topic.
Download or read book Don t Let Your Clients Eat Dog Food When They re Old written by Roger Roemmich and published by iUniverse. This book was released on 2014-08-11 with total page 291 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: No hard-working American wants to resort to eating dog food when they are old. With approximately seventy-eight million Americans in the baby boom generation and nearly half of them with little or nothing in retirement accounts, this can be a challenging time for the financial advisors, tax attorneys, certified public accountants, and insurance sales associates in charge of retirement planning for a diverse clientele. In his guidebook, Roger Roemmich presents an integrated approach to client retirement planning and management that demonstrates how to fit all the pieces of the puzzle together to create a sound action plan while advising clients before and after retirement. Roemmich-with four decades of experience in the financial arena-shares his time-tested advice that includes tools for assessing retirement readiness with his unique CAMP score, educational handouts for clients, and detailed case studies that illustrate core concepts on integrating investment strategies with strategic planning regarding Social Security timing, Medicare supplemental insurance, and long-term care options. Don't Let Your Clients Eat Dog Food When They're Old! provides financial planners with valuable wisdom and innovative tips intended to help future retirees in their quest for freedom and quality of life during their golden years.
Download or read book The Virginia Monologues written by Virginia Ironside and published by . This book was released on 2009 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When she started to clock up the years in earnest, everyone tried not to mention it. But now Virginia Ironsideis actually sixty-five she can't see what all the fuss was about. It's great to be old. Growing ancient is not a loss but a gain. You're more confident, and if your memory's going, at least you forget the bad times, like all those ghastly men you slept with in the other sixties. And isn't now the time to take lots of drugs, and not just the ones prescribed by the doctor (which are, now you're old, completely free)? There's nothing more fun than comparing your various ailments with other oldies ('I take so many fish oils I'm thinking of joining an aquarium'), curtain-twitching, complaining or (Virginia's preference) just mooching about. From Grandchildren ('The reward for not killing your children'), and Being a Bore ('You're in your anecdotage, so nobody can complain') to Sex ('I don't know about you, but I've had enough sex to last me a lifetime'), Virginia Ironsidetackles all the issues that face today's elegant and distinguished oldies with optimism and enthusiasm - and makes you want to cheer!
Download or read book You re Not Old You re Just Not That Young written by Harvey Little and published by Hachette UK. This book was released on 2018-05-10 with total page 210 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: You might not be a spring chicken any more, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t keep on strutting your stuff! This collection of witty quotations, light-hearted yarns and cheerful jokes will help you stay young at heart, and see the funny side of getting older with a smile on your face.
Download or read book This Chair Rocks written by Ashton Applewhite and published by Celadon Books. This book was released on 2019-03-05 with total page 302 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Author, activist, and TED speaker Ashton Applewhite has written a rousing manifesto calling for an end to discrimination and prejudice on the basis of age. In our youth obsessed culture, we’re bombarded by media images and messages about the despairs and declines of our later years. Beauty and pharmaceutical companies work overtime to convince people to purchase products that will retain their youthful appearance and vitality. Wrinkles are embarrassing. Gray hair should be colored and bald heads covered with implants. Older minds and bodies are too frail to keep up with the pace of the modern working world and olders should just step aside for the new generation. Ashton Applewhite once held these beliefs too until she realized where this prejudice comes from and the damage it does. Lively, funny, and deeply researched, This Chair Rocks traces her journey from apprehensive boomer to pro-aging radical, and in the process debunks myth after myth about late life. Explaining the roots of ageism in history and how it divides and debases, Applewhite examines how ageist stereotypes cripple the way our brains and bodies function, looks at ageism in the workplace and the bedroom, exposes the cost of the all-American myth of independence, critiques the portrayal of elders as burdens to society, describes what an all-age-friendly world would look like, and offers a rousing call to action. It’s time to create a world of age equality by making discrimination on the basis of age as unacceptable as any other kind of bias. Whether you’re older or hoping to get there, this book will shake you by the shoulders, cheer you up, make you mad, and change the way you see the rest of your life. Age pride! “Wow. This book totally rocks. It arrived on a day when I was in deep confusion and sadness about my age. Everything about it, from my invisibility to my neck. Within four or five wise, passionate pages, I had found insight, illumination, and inspiration. I never use the word empower, but this book has empowered me.” —Anne Lamott, New York Times bestselling author
Download or read book You re Not Old You re Vintage written by Summersdale and published by Summersdale. This book was released on 2017-04-13 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Don't let ageing get you down. It's too hard to get back up." --John Wagner Like a valuable antique, maybe your smooth finish has become a little lined and your legs creak from time to time. But don't worry: even if you no longer have all your original parts and nobody can find your instruction manual, it's great to be vintage! This joyful collection of quotations celebrates the lighter side of aging, and shows that it really is the life in your years that counts.
Download or read book Recalculating written by Charles Bernstein and published by University of Chicago Press. This book was released on 2013-03-13 with total page 202 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Together, the poems of Recalculating take readers on a journey through the history and poetics of the decades since the end of the Cold War as seen through the lens of social and personal turbulence and tragedy.
Download or read book Stupid Things I Won t Do When I Get Old written by Steven Petrow and published by Citadel. This book was released on 2021-06-29 with total page 274 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: For fans of David Sedaris and Nora Ephron, a humorous, irreverent, and poignant look at the gifts, stereotypes, and inevitable challenges of aging, based on award-winning journalist Steven Petrow's wildly popular New York Times essay, "Things I'll Do Differently When I Get Old." Soon after his 50th birthday, Petrow began assembling a list of “things I won’t do when I get old”—mostly a catalog of all the things he thought his then 70-something year old parents were doing wrong. That list, which included “You won’t have to shout at me that I’m deaf,” and “I won’t blame the family dog for my incontinence,” became the basis of this rousing collection of do’s and don’ts, wills and won’ts that is equal parts hilarious, honest, and practical. The fact is, we don’t want to age the way previous generations did. “Old people” hoard. They bore relatives—and strangers alike—with tales of their aches and pains. They insist on driving long after they’ve become a danger to others (and themselves). They eat dinner at 4pm. They swear they don’t need a cane or walker (and guess what happens next). They never, ever apologize. But there is another way... In Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old, Petrow candidly addresses the fears, frustrations, and stereotypes that accompany aging. He offers a blueprint for the new old age, and an understanding that aging and illness are not the same. As he writes, “I meant the list to serve as a pointed reminder—to me—to make different choices when I eventually cross the threshold to ‘old.’” Getting older is a privilege. This essential guide reveals how to do it with grace, wisdom, humor, and hope. And without hoarding. Praise for Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old: “Unbelievably witty and relatable, I alternated bursting into laughter and placing my hand over my face in horror thinking, Oh my God, is that me? I often say, at this age we have something young people can never have…wisdom. My dear friend, Steven Petrow, has wisdom to share in this honest, funny, wry guide to keep us young at heart, without desperately hanging onto our youth. I am buying this book for all of my friends!” —Suzanne Somers, New York Times bestselling author of A New Way to Age “Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old is an irreverent, funny, honest look at aging and all the things we take for granted as normal parts of aging. They don’t need to be. If you struggle with getting older and want to find a fresh perspective on lessons learned about what NOT to do as we age, and what TO do to stay young in heart, spirit, mind and body, read this book.” —Mark Hyman, MD, #1 New York Times bestseller author of The Blood Sugar Solution 10-Day Detox Diet, and Head of Strategy and Innovation at the Cleveland Clinic Center for Functional Medicine. “Steven Petrow resolved to do things differently than his parents had when he gets old because he wished they’d been able to enjoy life more. His solution? He created a list! In this book, he shares the secrets to living a full life regardless of our age. It's all about the decisions we make every day. My advice in a nutshell: Read this book and keep it handy.” —“Dear Abby” (Jeanne Phillips), nationally syndicated advice columnist “It’s never too early to imagine what your life will look like as you age. And as I once wrote, ‘We are not hostages to our fate.’ Petrow’s book will help you plan, think, and redefine what it means to get older—and even laugh while doing it.” —Andrew Weil, MD, New York Times bestselling author of Spontaneous Healing and Healthy Aging: A Lifelong Guide to Your Well-Being “Steven Petrow not only has a great attitude about life, he is wise about how to live it. Like me, he says we should embrace our one life 100% and not let a number—our age—get in the way of anything! Steven’s book will help you rethink the word “aging” and approach this next chapter with a positive and proactive attitude. Plus, this book is fun!” —Denise Austin, renowned fitness expert, author, and columnist “Steven’s writing feels like sitting with a friend—one who is unusually gracious, warm and frank.” —Carolyn Hax, author of the nationally syndicated advice column, Carolyn Hax Praise for Steven Petrow: "Steven Petrow's Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners helps gays and straights navigate the subtleties of the same-sex world." —People "Move over, Emily Post! When it comes to etiquette for members of the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community—as well as their straight friends, family members and coworkers--author and journalist Steven Petrow is the authority." —TIME "What could've easily become a novelty book has emerged as an exhaustively researched, essential resource thanks to advice columnist and etiquette expert Steven Petrow." —The Advocate "From having kids to planning funerals, Steven Petrow's Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners has most facets of gay life covered. Ms. Post would approve." —Entertainment Weekly "An indispensable refresher course...on what's proper in modern...life." —Kirkus Reviews
Download or read book I m Too Young to Be This Old written by Poppy Smith and published by Harvest House Publishers. This book was released on 2013-02-01 with total page 177 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: What woman hasn’t looked in the mirror and wondered who was staring back at her? Or marveled at how grown up her children look? Or puzzled at how her friends are aging prematurely? I'm Too Young to Be This Old (with over 150,000 copies sold) shows women how to face their changing lives with a spirit of fun and fearlessness. Poppy Smith leads readers through both the lighter side of midlife and the deeper issues that concern them, including wondering if the best of life is over facing changes in health and appearance maintaining healthy relationships with adult children caring for aging parents getting ready for when they’re really old I’m Too Young to Be This Old is loaded with biblically informed wisdom and ample doses of humor. It will give readers the inspiration and insight they need to turn their middle years into the best years of their life!
Download or read book You re Not Old Until You re Ninety written by Rebecca H. Latimer and published by Blue Dolphin Publishing. This book was released on 1997 with total page 212 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Rebecca Latimer shares her secrets, gathered over a lifetime, for reaching a happy and vigorous old age: visualization, friendship, meditation, miracles of self-healing through your own "imaginary doctor", and other personal keys to leading your life to its fullest.
