Download or read book Who Will Help Jack Off the Horse written by Bimisi Tayanita and published by . This book was released on 2020-10-15 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "...and of course the whimsical poetic meter known as iambic tetrameter is no more capable of exclusive ownership than the air we all breath."--Bimisi to Theodor Seuss GeislIt is entirely possible to wake up in the morning with no intention of learning anything at all, but learning something substantial, nonetheless. It was a typical Wednesday afternoon at their favorite dive bar. Bimisi and Sumguyen were sparring, via a spirited match of online trivia, with patrons of a similar dive bar in another part of the world...a part of the world where it most likely was not still Wednesday afternoon. The final question...at least the last question they heard before scrambling for a pen and paper to get to work on their first parody was this:Madonna, Michael Jackson and _____ are the only 3 artists who have had a top 40 hit in 4 different decades.ANSWER: Weird Al Yankovic

Download or read book The Outside of a Horse written by Ginny Rorby and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2010-05-13 with total page 215 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Hannah Gale starts volunteering at a horse stable because she needs a place to escape. Her father has returned from the Iraq war as an amputee with posttraumatic stress disorder, and his nightmares rock the household. At the stable, Hannah comes to love Jack, Super Dee, and Indy; helps bring a rescued mare back from the brink; and witnesses the birth of the filly who steals her heart. Hannah learns more than she ever imagined about horse training, abuse, and rescues, as well as her own capacity for hope. Physical therapy with horses could be the answer to her fatherÕs prayers, if only she can get him to try.

Download or read book My Uncle Jack s Off written by Bo Nehr and published by . This book was released on 2017-07-19 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Hot dogs, pimps, elephants and crime. These things have absolutely nothing to do with this epic twisted tale, but you have to admit they're pretty attention grabbing, right?!? Bored of reading the same old hum-drum books about superheroes, lawn furniture and how to grow the best cheese log? My Uncle Jack's Off is a one-of-a-kind tale with a ham-fisted, adult-focused tone that will have you laughing out loud with every turn of the page until your belly aches. The best part? You'll know your stomach hurts from laughter and not tapeworms! Here are just a few of the thought-provoking things world-renown book critics have had to say about My Uncle Jack's Off "I used my left hand to turn the pages instead of my right and it was like sharing an unforgettable experience with a stranger." - Rosie Palmer "I've heard some tall tales, but Uncle Jack has a story so big you may not be able to take it all at once." - D.T. Sanchez "My favorite part was the check I received for this endorsement" - Handsomely compensated reader who wishes to remain anonymous "Finally, a story that the common unicyclist can relate to" - Gary the Unicyclist "[Shakes book...] How do I get the sound out?" - Reginald, the guy down the block who confuses audio with print "I find this book VERY hard to put down!" - Prank victim who got his hand superglued to the book "It's the perfect length. What they say is true... size matters." - A guy obsessed with tape measurers. Why, what'd you think? This book gives you all the raucous fun you can handle without being committed for excessive laughter. Perfect for late-night bedtime stories, bar mitzvahs, propping up a coffee table leg, surprise parties for the elderly, as a replacement for a toaster manual, or even light bathroom reading, it's time you saw Uncle Jack's Off for yourself. Pick up a copy of My Uncle Jack's Off by clicking "Add to Cart" above. You'll love the side-splitting story, hidden pictures, and one man's epic climax to fun.

Download or read book Cinnamon written by Brad Gosse and published by . This book was released on 2020-09-02 with total page 26 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Cinnamon wins all the races. He puts smiles on people's faces. Cinnamon has a good career. Retirement will soon be near. Until cinnamon broke his leg. And now he will be forced to peg. Lady horses all day long. Cinnamon will be used for his dong . As he gets ready for his daily jerk. He realizes. That this is sex work. Once he was the star of the show . Cinnamon has become a ho

Download or read book Brenda s Beaver Needs a Barber written by Bimisi Tayanita and published by . This book was released on 2016-12-01 with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Sumguyen has always had a thick mane of hair, in the summer of 2016 he decided to grow a beard. Deep into month three he started to look like an armpit with eyeballs.It was a sultry August night in Old Town Scottsdale as Bimisi and Sumguyen made their way from one bar to another. They took pause to to enjoy the rhythms of a homeless crooner who was soulfully picking his guitar. When Sumguyen threw a five into his tip jar the artist looked up, thanked him with a nod and said, "That is a beautiful beard. My friend Brenda has a beard just like that, but hers doesn't talk."A fair amount of beer sprayed from Bimisi's nose...and just like that they had their subject matter for the final book of season one. Brenda's Beaver Needs a Barber is the fifth of five books that make up Reach Around Books Season One.

Download or read book Call the Horse Lucky written by Juanita Havill and published by Gryphon Press - The Gryphon Press. This book was released on 2010 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A girl's desire to help a starving horse changes his future, as well as hers.

Download or read book Horse Sense written by Al Ries and published by New York ; McGraw-Hill. This book was released on 1991 with total page 378 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In Horse Sense, the authors convert their marketing principles into personal principles and pitch their book at a wide range of general readers who want to succeed - whether in their careers or in their personal lives.

Download or read book JiggleWiggleTicklePickle written by Bimisi Tayanita and published by . This book was released on 2020-10-15 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "You can keep the change"--Sumguyen to cashierSumguyen and Bimisi made the fiscally responsible decision to call in sick for a couple days and take advantage of the coveted free passes to the Las Vegas Adult Expo they were given by a scantily clad marketing rep in an Apache Junction bar the night before.They stopped in Wikiup, AZ for $14 worth of gas and a road soda. Sumguyen watched as a biker chick reached deep into the jar of pickles displayed on the counter. She was in elbow deep and was fishing for the largest of those brined beauties. As she clutched the winning pickle in her teeth she started counting out bills with her still dripping hand. Sumguyen knew those bills would be in his change, he slapped down a twenty and walked out the door.The treasures he might encounter at the Adult Expo and that monster Gherkin in a biker chick's mouth made for a strange and conflicting combination of thoughts...the fourth book of Season Two was conceived over the next 28 miles.

Download or read book Come Swing with Us written by Bimisi Tayanita and published by . This book was released on 2016-12-01 with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: It is the curious work of poetry and art and reflection to reveal meaning by obscuring meaning. It is a strange realm where swinging is not swinging, except when sometimes it is. On her own artistic journey to spiritual enlightenment, Bimisi Tayanita has once again transformed her peyote induced mumblings into a physical form that is sure to make you laugh hysterically...and leave you with an empty yet benevolent curiosity as to the kind of person you really are.Come Swing with Us! is the second of five books that make up season one.

Download or read book My Camino written by Patrick Warner and published by Biblioasis. This book was released on 2019-06-18 with total page 189 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Reeling from the Night of Nights, an unexpected blockbuster art show, Floss, a transgender New York gallery owner, invites subversive installation artist Budsy and their best friend the Apostle John to cycle the Camino de Santiago. When Floss tells her friends about her shocking experience at the hands of the King of the New York art scene, the journey becomes an anti-pilgrimage—from spiritual discovery to revenge fantasy. Moving from New York to Spain to Dublin, My Camino is a book about misfits, identity, art and spirituality narrated by the audacious Apostle John whose telling sometimes rhymes, is often hilarious and is always a blistering account of the contemporary art world.

Download or read book Sloppy Seconds written by Tucker Max and published by Blue Heeler Books. This book was released on 2012-02-07 with total page 279 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Tucker Max's books-I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, Assholes Finish First, and Hilarity Ensues-are a uniquely engaging trilogy composed of his best, craziest stories. They've sold millions of copies to fans all over the world. Their success has meant his success. As a thank you to those who have loved the stories and supported him for so long, Tucker has gone back through his massive archive of material one last time, culled out what you might call the "best of the rest," and arranged it here, in Sloppy Seconds, like a book version of Deleted Scenes. Unlike most deleted scenes, however, these don't suck. So enjoy.

Download or read book The Messianic Credentials written by Lee Kah Wor and published by Lee Kah Wor. This book was released on 2020-04-07 with total page 131 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Some of the contents in this series may be too graphical and not suitable for children. Parental discretion is advised. This book serves as a documentation of what a recipient of the mercy and grace of Elohim has found convincing from His written Word. God is love. I have the utmost respect for the gift of free choice from the loving Father God. This is the first of five-volume series on "The Messianic Credentials". It is not about what the right choice should be. It would be ludicrously futile to debate over such a thing as it is a matter of perception. In the process of putting this series together, I realized that God (Elohim) did not write what we like to hear. He wrote what we need to hear. This is because love corrects (Proverbs 3:12 and Hebrews 12:6). And God is love (1 John 4:8 and 1 John 4:16). He wrote the Bible out of His Spirit of love. In view of the above, I have written this series to relay that same Spirit. It is an appeal to consider reunion with God the loving Father from the perspective of the salvation wrought through Christ crucified. The love of God will bring about a change in perspective. In the words of Romans 2:4, it is the kindness of God that leads to repentance. As a caveat, this series is to be read with an open mind. It is meant to present the state of things from a Biblical perspective with no malicious and derogative intent. Any perception to the contrary is highly unfortunate and/or regrettable. Among other things, this volume examines the following notions: 1. Disasters are acts of God; 2. God helps those who help themselves; 3. Life and death is in the hands of God; and 4. Every man with a mustache is a father (有鬍鬚就係老豆; jau5 wu4 sou1 zau6 hai6 lou5 dau6). The above are just some common perception of God. The last bits is about men. God sent the flood to destroy the ancient world. He also sent the Ten Plagues on ancient Egypt. Why would God, Who is love, do that? Is there an underlying rationale behind that apparent anomaly? As an Omniscient God, why did He place the forbidden tree in the Garden when He already knew Adam would eat from it? Similarly, why did God create Lucifer knowing well that he would rebel against Him? Since God foreknew that both Adam and Lucifer would fall, how can He then blame them? In this first volume, we will take a closer look at all that. In addition, you will: 1. Know what is really meant by sin (It’s not about right doing); 2. Appreciate how knowing the true meaning of sin will deepen the gratitude for the gracious love of God (Hence the Law leads to Christ); 3. Witness how Eve demonstrated the danger of knowing God based on hearsay; 4. Look at how evil has been made God and God, evil (Romans 1:18); 5. See a graphical representation of the origin of sin and the cycle of sin; 6. Trace the current ills of the earth right back to its source; 7. Gain insight into how the Law leads to Christ from the example of the apostle Paul; 8. Understand the detailed mechanics of crucifixion and therein get a sense of what the Lord went through to redeem us; 9. Extract the pertinent points of Peter’s sermon which effectively summarized what is meant by faith comes from hearing and hearing the message concerning Christ (Romans 10:17); 10. Marvel at how our hero Jesus Christ has broken the sin cycle; 11. Tap into the wisdom of God to see the future as pre-written history; and 12. Get to receive the most precious gift of your life. God has in times past foretold what the Christ would do (Hebrews 1:1-3). Along came this man by the name of Jesus from Nazareth. He did everything that God said that the Christ would do. What does that tell us? Jesus of Nazareth is the Christ. Hence, the more we hear of how Jesus of Nazareth had done what God said the Christ would do, faith in Him as the Christ arises; faith comes. This series focuses on the evidence God has provided to prove that Jesus of Nazareth was the Promised Messiah, with emphasis on His humanity aspect. The first volume of this series plays a preparatory role just as how John the Baptist announced the arrival of the Promised Messiah. It is to prepare the heart to receive the love of Father God as demonstrated by Christ crucified. Against this backdrop, I invite you to approach this series with an open mind. You may just find the perfect match for that earnest yearning in the deepest recess of your heart. Looking forward to meeting with you in the word.

Download or read book Blind Date Disasters written by Jill Shalvis and published by Harlequin. This book was released on 2018-05-14 with total page 132 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: New York Times bestselling author Jill Shalvis delivers a fan-favorite novella featuring identical twin Cami Anderson, who meets her match in sexy carpenter Tanner McCall. And look for Eat Your Heart Out, featuring Cami’s twin sister! As an interior designer and an identical twin, Cami Anderson wants her home to be unique, so she hires a master carpenter to help. She’s expecting an older man, someone kindly, experienced. In her wildest dreams, she hadn’t figured on Tanner McCall, who’s not old, not kind, but most definitely experienced…and seems more than a little interested in her blind date disasters! Originally published in 2001. “Fall in love with Jill Shalvis! She’s my go-to read for humor and heart.” —Susan Mallery, New York Times bestselling author

Download or read book The Philosophy of Sex written by Raja Halwani and published by Rowman & Littlefield. This book was released on 2022-02-28 with total page 665 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: With twenty-five essays, seven of which are new to the eighth edition, this best-selling volume examines the nature, morality, and social meanings of contemporary sexual phenomena. Topics include: sexual desire and activity, masturbation, Sexual orientation, asexuality, transgender issues, Zoophilia, rape, casual sex and promiscuity, love and sex, polyamory, sexual consent, sexual, perversion, sexual ethics, objectification, BDSM, sex and technology, sex and race, and sex work. Updated and new discussion questions offer students starting points for debate in both the classroom and the bedroom.

Download or read book If the Walls Could Speak written by Deirdre M. Silvestri and published by iUniverse. This book was released on 2014-11-21 with total page 125 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: It's a beautiful, clear spring day, and soon the cherry blossoms will fall from the trees and blanket the ground like snow. This season promises to be extraordinary, but it won't be the same without Da, who passed away at Christmastime. Finn O'Brine stares out the window, taking it all in. He can't believe his father will never spend time with him again. And he can't believe there's a bat at his window-talking to him. Before his death, Mr. O'Brine told Finn many stories about colossal dragons, sorcery, and the magic of Wickum Mannor in Ireland-but they couldn't possibly be real, right? Wrong! Magic runs in the O'Brine family; it's part of their heritage. Now thirteen, Finn will begin to show signs of his magical inheritance any day now. It's time for Finn; his twin sister, Neave; his younger brother, Jack; and his mother, Ailish, to leave the comfort of their home in America and journey to Wickum Manor themselves. They expect a summerlong adventure, but the O'Brine children may not be as ready as they think. With all the fantastic things to experience and discover on the four-hundred-acre estate, will Finn want to enroll at the magical Wickum Academy, or will he choose to return to his friends and classes in America at summer's end?

Download or read book 5 000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One Liners written by and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2013-11-01 with total page 312 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “I’ll never forget the words my granddad said before he kicked the bucket. He said ‘Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket.’” “The key to any marriage is spontaneity. You’ve got to be ready to leave at any time.” Bringing together some of the funniest, wittiest, and most cutting jokes the world over, Grant Tucker’s volume is the definitive collection of the quips comedians call “one-liners.” Short, sweet, and undeniably clever, one-liners hold a special place in the history of comedy, and the rise of Twitter and social media seems to have ushered in a new era of this comedic art form. With most people expressing themselves in 140 characters or less, there seems no better time to celebrate Grant’s collection and the immortal one-liner. Side-splittingly funny, 5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners has all the puns, zingers, and witty remarks you could ever ask for—and many you’d never dream of asking for. “My granddad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.” “A dyslexic man walks into a bra.” “Corduroy pillows: they’re making headlines!” “Promises are a bit like babies: fun to make but hard to deliver.” “Schizophrenia—together I can beat it.” “Drugs are never the answer. Unless the clue is: ‘Narcotics, five letters.’”

Download or read book Steel Pot written by Curt Stocker and published by AuthorHouse. This book was released on 2023-06-15 with total page 695 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: BACK COVER COPY: Curt Stocker began smoking pot in October 1966, more than a year before he went to Vietnam. In this memoir, he shares a true account of his service fighting for America. Considering all the pot he smoked, he understands why some people may find it amazing that he’s able to remember that time. Ironically, the DuPont Corp. became one of the main proponents of antimarijuana legislation because it sought to stamp out the hemp industry. The company’s motivation was the immense profit it would reap by switching everybody over from hemp rope and canvas sails to DuPont’s newly invented synthetics such as nylon rope and rayon fabrics. The bald-faced lies its executives invented about hemp were totally off the charts. Vietnam exposed many young Americans to marijuana who otherwise would have never found it. Because of this, the author believes that the war may be the single most important factor in today’s looming marijuana legalization. Unfortunately, there are still people want to continue the War on Drugs and put people in jail on marijuana charges. It is time to end the federal marijuana prohibition.