Download or read book Visit A Hal Spacejock short story written by Simon Haynes and published by Bowman Press. This book was released on 2012-02-05 with total page 35 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Hal and Clunk are stuck in port, forced to wait two whole days for their next cargo. Hal returns to the ship after a little shopping expedition and finds Clunk in a right old state. Break out the crayons and colouring sheets ... he's organised a school visit! Hal and Clunk, stars of the Hal Spacejock comedy series, feature in this brand new 3500-word short story. Visit slots into the series any time after Hal Spacejock (book one), but can be read and enjoyed as a stand-alone.

Download or read book A Robot Named Clunk written by Simon Haynes and published by Bowman Press. This book was released on 2011-08-15 with total page 338 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An incompetent, accident-prone pilot is given one last chance to save his ship. An ageing robot is trusted with a midnight landing in a deserted field. And a desperate businessman is prepared to sacrifice both of them to get what he wants... Combining relentless action with non-stop laughs, Hal Spacejock explodes onto the science fiction scene with the subtlety of a meteor strike and the hushed reverence of a used car salesman.

Download or read book Hal Spacejock Omnibus One written by Simon Haynes and published by . This book was released on 2019-10-11 with total page 758 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "I read it at a sitting and couldn't put it down." - Tom Holt Hal Spacejock Omnibus One contains three full-length novels plus a bonus short story. Here's what you get: A Robot Named Clunk (Hal Spacejock Book 1) Clunk, a clapped-out robot, is convinced he's about to be junked. Instead, his penny-pinching boss is sending him off to be refurbished. Being old and wise, Clunk knows there's a catch, but at first it doesn't seem too bad. He just has to help a freelancer pick up some cargo. Unfortunately, Hal Spacejock - the freelancer - is obstinate, over-confident, and woefully under-skilled, and he's never going to let a lowly robot fly his precious ship. Is there any chance this pair of misfits can lift off, collect the cargo and deliver it in one piece? Or will they fly straight into the nearest star, still bickering and fighting over the controls? Second Course (Hal Spacejock Book 2) Hal Spacejock's cargo business is going so well he's considering getting into passengers ... especially the beautiful and mysterious Sonya Polarov. Clunk's certain she's up to something, but as usual Hal won't listen to a word he says ... Meanwhile, Rex Curtis runs the galaxy's biggest freight company, and he's sick of independent pilots stealing his cargo jobs. He's determined to make a statement by destroying the biggest nuisance of them all: Hal Spacejock. Just Desserts (Hal Spacejock Book 3) Hal's new-fangled, bargain-bin stasis generator has just failed, exactly as Clunk predicted, and now their valuable cargo of fresh food is in danger of rotting away. They leave their ship and head off to find replacement parts, which is a real shame, because a secret agent wants Hal's ship for an urgent mission ... with or without his permission. Visit (A Hal Spacejock short story) Hal returns from a shopping trip and finds Clunk in a right old state. Break out the crayons and colouring sheets ... they're booked in for a school visit! About the Hal Spacejock series Set in the distant future, where humanity spans the galaxy and robots are second-class citizens, the Hal Spacejock series will strike a chord with fans of Red Dwarf and Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, while forging its own off-beat path through the cosmos. There are currently nine novels in the Hal Spacejock series, as well as the Harriet Walsh and Hal Junior spin-offs (three novels each.) Clunk the robot also features in Simon's brand new fantasy trilogy, beginning with A Portion of Dragon and Chips. Omnibus Two, containing Hal Spacejock books 4-6, is also available. So is Omnibus Three, containing books 7-9. A Robot Named Clunk is also available as an audiobook. Reviews "Riddled with slapstick humour and glib one-liners" - Courier Mail "Anyone who has ever had a frustrating run-in with a computer, or had to suffer bureaucratic thuggery, or who just wants a great story that will keep you smiling, this book is for you." - /dev/random "A well-constructed tale with plenty of twists and turns and a good few laughs." amazon review "All of the Hal Spacejock books are brilliant. Well written and easy to read with excellent story lines." amazon review.

Download or read book Framed A Hal Spacejock short story written by Simon Haynes and published by Bowman Press. This book was released on 2011-08-26 with total page 49 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A straightforward cargo delivery takes a left turn when Hal Spacejock gets sidetracked. But with 200 shares in a worthless company on offer, who wouldn't step into a makeshift teleporter which has already claimed one victim? Hal and Clunk, stars of the Hal Spacejock comedy series, feature in this brand new 8000-word short story. 'Framed' slots into the series any time after Hal Spacejock Second Course, but can be read and enjoyed as a stand-alone. Kurt took up his position in front of the robot, while Hal took up his position behind a large rock twenty metres away. With shaking fingers, Kurt reached for the cap on Clunk's head. Meanwhile, Hal's fingers were in his ears and his eyes were screwed shut. "It's okay," said Kurt. "It's just a solar panel." "Attached to what?" "His brain, I think." "Oh wonderful," muttered Hal. "He'll be thinking and talking and arguing, and he still won't be able to do anything useful."

Download or read book Hal Spacejock written by Simon Haynes and published by Fremantle Press. This book was released on 2014-08-01 with total page 366 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An incompetent, accident-prone pilot is given one last chance to save his ship; an ageing robot is trusted with a midnight landing in a deserted field; and a desperate businessman is prepared to sacrifice both of them to get what he wants in the hilarious science fiction adventures of cargo businessman Hal Spacejock.

Download or read book Hal Spacejock written by Simon Haynes and published by . This book was released on 2001 with total page 266 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book The Secret Signal written by Simon Haynes and published by Hal Junior. This book was released on 2012-06 with total page 186 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Hal Junior uncovers a threat to the space station and everyone on board. How will he warn them? With a Secret Signal, of course Ten-year-old Hal Junior lives aboard an orbiting space station, where his mum is chief scientist, his dad cleans air filters and his best mate is Stephen 'Stinky' Binn. Everyone in class is excited, because they're getting a guided tour of a visiting space ship. But during the tour, Hal discovers a secret which threatens the space station and everyone on board. Unfortunately, Hal's a bit of a troublemaker, and even if he manages to get the message out, there is absolutely no guarantee anyone will believe him. Hal Junior: The Secret Signal features mayhem and laughs, daring and intrigue ... plus Hal's home-made space cannon This is the first book in the Hal Junior series. Book two, The Missing Case, and book three, The Gyris Mission, are also available. What they're saying ... "The only part I didn't like was the explanation of how food is made. I understand why Stinky's face turned green." "This is a charming book full of wacky, innovative fun that can be read quickly and easily by readers of all ages. It's a perfect way to encourage readers to keep reading." "A fun, easy to read story that is perfect for adventurous and imaginative young readers that like the idea of saving the day. Especially those who can identify with the kids whose hearts are in the right place, but their behavior quite often isn't." "Hal Jr is educated by a robot, his home is a space station, his homework has just been sucked into the recycling hatch, his mother has just been promoted to head of research, and trouble is brewing." "This particular book could be enjoyed by kids 5 and older - much older. I am in my twenties and I thought that this 175 page book was a quirky, smart, and fun little riot for boys and girls of all ages." "This book is a must-read for boys who enjoy sci-fi aged 8-12 years old. I found it entertaining as a light read for myself (being a 13 year old girl) so I pretty much recommend this to everyone." "There are all sorts of fun things in the book, from morse code to a mysterious watch recovered from the junk heap, a reverse canon that shoots garbage, and even a guide on how to build Hal's homework paper plane." "Hal is such a typical kid. He gets into more scrapes that should be possible and yet always seems to come out on top. He's endearing and funny, exasperating and brave and earnest. Hal is quite likeable and you find yourself both cheering and groaning at his antics." "I know that the kids in my class will just love this. It doesn't come any more highly recommended than that " "There is elements of physics, environmental science and more throughout the book, which would grab the attention of those who are science buffs, as well as those who like a good story." "I may love Hal Junior better than the adult version." "A very fun read, and the level is just right for late-early readers."

Download or read book Hal Spacejock Omnibus One written by Simon Haynes and published by Bowman Press. This book was released on 2012-07-21 with total page 1021 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This special release contains the first three books in the Hal Spacejock series, plus a special bonus story (Hal Spacejock Visit).

Download or read book A Riddle in Bronze written by Simon Haynes and published by Mysteries in Metal. This book was released on 2019-11 with total page 400 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: London, England, 1871 When I applied for the position of bookkeeper with Professor Twickham and his daughter, I lied about my qualifications. As it turns out, they lied about the job for which I was applying. Had we not been so untruthful with each other, there might have been fewer night terrors stalking the inhabitants of the City. Fewer unexplained disappearances. Fewer deaths. Now, nobody is safe from the creeping horrors we've unleashed. With no time to spare, we face an impossible task: we must discover the mysteries in metal in order to right this wrong. But is it already too late?

Download or read book A Pair of Nuts on the Throne written by Simon Haynes and published by Bowman Press. This book was released on 2018-10-19 with total page 326 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: It's crunch time in the Old Kingdom! Our mild-mannered hero, the junky old robot, has a new ally. He's sure they've met before, but he can't quite put his finger on it. Actually, he can't quite put his finger on anything. Heads of state are dropping like flies, thanks to a series of improbable accidents, and war clouds are rolling in. The elves are building siege engines, human kingdoms are raising their armies, and the dwarves are nursing hangovers. And even if the robot manages to pour lubricating oil on those troubled waters, he still has to find his way home! This is the third and final part of the Dragon and Chips Trilogy. Books one and two must be read first to maximise your enjoyment. All three books are also available in unabridged audio editions. Keywords: Humorous fantasy novel, book three in a trilogy, fantasy comedy book, fantasy humour, clean fantasy novels, young adult fantasy, ya comedy, parody novel, fantasy comedy novels

Download or read book Bill the Galactic Hero written by Harry Harrison and published by Macmillan. This book was released on 2012-07-03 with total page 189 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Bill, the Galactic Hero is written by Harry Harrison who is also the author of Deathworld, Make Room! Make Room! (filmed as Soylent Green), the popular Stainless Steel Rat books, and many other famous works of SF. "Simply the funniest science fiction book ever written."--New York Times besteselling author Terry Pratchett At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.

Download or read book Starfleet Year One written by Michael Jan Friedman and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2002-03-12 with total page 307 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Earth Command defeated the Romulans with the help of other races across the galaxy, and the Neutral Zone was established. Out of that necessary and uneasy collaboration came the United Federation of Planets and its combined forces, Starfleet. But the close quarters of a starship among so many races and personalities is discomforting to all the ranks. Control of what could grow to be the greatest power in the galaxy is at stake and no one is taking it lightly. A powerful new class of starship, the Daedalus, flagship of the new Federation fleet, is up for grabs among the six new Starfleet captains. Adm. Ed Walker is determined to keep this jewel, and all of Starfleet, under military command and away from the scientists. He chooses Capt. Aaron Stiles as his protégé in the endeavor. Stiles, bent on avenging the death of his brother Jake, faces stiff resistance from Walker¹s rebellious space jock nephew Dane and scientist Capt. Bryce Shumar. But they face their biggest threat of all in an unknown alien race destroying the bases of the Oreias system. Can brains and brawn combine to win without killing each other in the process?

Download or read book A Butt of Heads written by Simon Haynes and published by Bowman Press. This book was released on 2018-09-30 with total page 284 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Remember that mild-mannered robot trapped in a medieval kingdom? He's still there, and now he has a fresh batch of problems to deal with. First, he must lead a motley crew of adventurers on a quest to capture a baby dragon... ... and then save them from the incensed parent dragons. Next, the City Guard is desperate to find out what makes him tick... even if it means disassembly with a blunt axe. And finally, our robot hero must foil an invasion by two foreign navies and prevent five kingdoms from starting an all-out war. If only those vengeful dragons, gigantic sea serpents and a cadre of drunken dwarves weren't determined to make his life even more difficult! A Butt of Heads is book two in the Robot vs Dragons trilogy. A Portion of Dragon and Chips is book one, and it must be read first to maximise your enjoyment. All three books are also available in unabridged audio editions. Keywords: Humorous fantasy novel, book two in a trilogy, fantasy comedy book, fantasy humour, clean fantasy novels, young adult fantasy, ya comedy, parody novel, fantasy comedy novels, naval warfare, sailing ship battles

Download or read book Hal Spacejock Omnibus Two written by Simon Haynes and published by Bowman Press. This book was released on 2018-02-11 with total page 950 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This special release contains books 4, 5 and 6 in the Hal Spacejock series, plus a special bonus story (Hal Spacejock Framed).

Download or read book Off Course written by Simon Haynes and published by Bowman Press. This book was released on 2018-09-10 with total page 27 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: While three old friends set off to play golf, an alien fleet decides to invade the wrong hole ... A free humorous science fiction story by Simon Haynes, author of the Hal Spacejock comedy scifi series. Keywords: funny golf story, alien invasion, scifi comedy, humorous scifi, free short story, comedy science fiction, free ebook, free golf books, golf free

Download or read book Hal Spacejock Omnibus Two written by Simon Haynes and published by . This book was released on 2019-10-11 with total page 754 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Get three books in one! Set in the distant future, where humanity spans the galaxy and robots are second-class citizens, Hal Spacejock will strike a chord with fans of Red Dwarf and Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, while simultaneously forging its own wacky, off-beat path through the cosmos. Hal Spacejock Omnibus Two contains books 4-6 in the Hal Spacejock series (No Free Lunch, Baker's Dough and Safe Art) PLUS a bonus short story: Hal Spacejock Framed. Hal Spacejock 4: No Free Lunch A cunning rival determined to ruin Hal's business, a Peace Force officer facing a dangerous investigation and a planet with more bugs than a new operating system ... When Hal and Clunk set out to make a fresh start, this wasn't exactly what they had in mind. Now Hal must choose: take on the rival to save his own business, or help the officer with her first - and possibly last - investigation? Whatever he decides, it's No Free Lunch for Hal Spacejock! Hal Spacejock 5: Baker's Dough A broken-down fugitive with nothing to lose, an arms dealer hiding a deadly secret and an elderly robot set to inherit a vast fortune ... it's a typical cargo job for freighter pilot Hal Spacejock and his offsider, Clunk. Baker's Dough features intense rivalry, sublime double-crosses and more greed than a free buffet. Hal Spacejock 6: Safe Art A wealthy patron is sponsoring a series of art exhibitions, and Hal Spacejock has been employed to transport the valuable pieces from one venue to the next. Meanwhile, Hal's got himself in a tangle with two different women, each of whom despises the other. So, which will last longer ... Hal or the artworks? Hal Spacejock: Framed A straightforward cargo delivery takes a left turn when Hal Spacejock gets sidetracked. But with 200 shares in a worthless company on offer, who wouldn't step into a makeshift teleporter which has already claimed one victim? Hal and Clunk, stars of the Hal Spacejock comedy series, feature in this brand new 8000-word short story. 'Framed' slots into the series any time after Hal Spacejock Second Course, but can be read and enjoyed as a stand-alone. Omnibus One, containing Hal Spacejock books 1-3, is also available. So is Omnibus Three, containing books 7-9. A Robot Named Clunk is also available as an audiobook. Simon Haynes is the author of nine Hal Spacejock novels for teens/adults, three Hal Junior novels for ages 8-12, the Harriet Walsh series for teens/adults, the Robot vs Dragons fantasy trilogy, and over a dozen short stories spanning fantasy, thrillers and hard science fiction. If you're looking for super-heroes with overwhelming powers, this is the wrong author for you, because Simon's work typically features the underdog fighting for survival against powerful opponents. All Simon's novels are self-contained, with a beginning, a middle and a proper ending. They're not sequels, they don't end on a cliffhanger, and you could start or end your journey with any book in the series. (Some events from earlier books are referenced in later ones, so it makes sense to read them in order, but it's not essential.)

Download or read book Hal Spacejock 8 written by Simon Haynes and published by . This book was released on 2018-03 with total page 318 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Hal Spacejock dons a flash suit, hypershades and a curly earpiece for a stint as a secret agent, while Clunk is invited to a 'unique business opportunity' by a pair of his most rusted friends. Inevitably, things turn sour, and it's all hands to the pumps as the good ship Spacejock springs leaks from stem to stern.