Download or read book Truly Tasteless Jokes written by Blanche Knott and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 1985-05-12 with total page 122 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The original is back. TRULY TASTELESS JOKES took America by storm and made it laugh at itself. It's all in here, disgusting, repulsive, cruel, and just plain tasteless jokes and stories that will make you smile, laugh, or groan--and love every minute of it.
Download or read book Truly Tasteless Jokes Three written by Blanche Knott and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 1985-05-12 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Disgusting, abhorrent, and just plain terrible. But people love them. Tackling every taboo subject, this truly tasteless little book proves that there's nothing too sacred to be laughed at. After all, it was a #1 bestseller.
Download or read book Blanche Knott s Treasury of Tastelessness written by Blanche Knott and published by Macmillan. This book was released on 1994-10-15 with total page 204 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the decade that brought readers Pee Wee Herman, the Exxon Valdez, Woody and Mia, and the Branch Davidians comes the perfect gift for friends and family: a treasury of truly tasteless jokes that will provoke laughter--and queasiness. With offensiveness for all, Knott covers a wide spectrum of topics, including all ethnic groups, celebrities, and religions.
Download or read book The Mammoth Book of Tasteless Jokes written by E. Henry Thripshaw and published by Robinson. This book was released on 2010-09-30 with total page 456 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The ultimate collection of tasteless and sick jokes that just shouldn't be told. More than 3,000 off-colour jokes, covering every taboo from sex and death to race and disability, this book leaves no stone unturned in its search for the most dubious jokes known to humanity. Why exactly do we like to laugh at jokes that are cruel, heartless and downright wrong? And more to the point, who cares so long as they make us laugh? Twice as funny, twice as outrageous, twice as shocking. From Anne Frank's drum kit to the correct use of wheelchairs, this is a fantastic new collection of bad taste and political incorrectness. If you even think about reading it you're a monster; if you buy it you're going straight to hell. Includes gems such as these: My father is in a coma. He's just living the dream. Why don't cannibals eat divorced women? Because they're very bitter. What do you do if a pit bull mounts your leg? Fake an orgasm. How do you stop a politician from drowning? Shoot him before he hits the water. The Beatles have reformed and have brought out a new album. It's mostly drum and bass. I went to see my friend's new baby. They asked me if I wanted to wind him. I thought that was a bit harsh so I just gave him a dead leg instead. Remember, a doggy is not just for Christmas. It's a great position all year round.
Download or read book I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell written by Tucker Max and published by Citadel . This book was released on 2012-03-01 with total page 537 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The “highly entertaining and thoroughly reprehensible” #1 New York Times bestseller—now with sixteen pages of photos and a new introduction (The New York Times). My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole. I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, sleep with more women than is safe or reasonable, and just generally act like a raging dickhead. But, I do contribute to humanity in one very important way: I share my adventures with the world. --from the Introduction Actual reader feedback: "I find it truly appalling that there are people in the world like you. You are a disgusting, vile, repulsive, repugnant, foul creature. Because of you, I don’t believe in God anymore. No just God would allow someone like you to exist." "I’ll stay with God as my lord, but you are my savior. I just finished reading your brilliant stories, and I laughed so hard I almost vomited. I want to bring that kind of joy to people. You’re an artist of the highest order and a true humanitarian to boot. I'm in both shock and awe at how much I want to be you."
Download or read book Jokelopedia written by Eva Blank and published by Workman Publishing Company. This book was released on 2013-04-23 with total page 289 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: It’s the mother of all kids’ joke books—an all-encompassing, gut-busting, and bestselling collection of more than 1,700 jokes, tongue-twisters, riddles, and puns for all occasions. Here are 61 elephant jokes, including: What did the elephant say when he walked into the post office? / Ouch! Dozens of knock-knock jokes, like: Knock-knock. / Who’s there? / Doris. / Doris who? / Doris locked. That’s why I knocked! Plus teacher jokes and creature jokes, doctor jokes and robber jokes, food jokes, gross jokes, why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road jokes, and name-game jokes: What do you call a man in a tiger’s cage? / Claude. And for all aspiring comedians, there are joke-telling pointers and tips, funny facts, and spotlights on comic TV shows, books, and actors, from Steve Carell to Tina Fey to SpongeBob Squarepants. It’s the ultimate gift for the incurable jokester.
Download or read book This Chair Rocks written by Ashton Applewhite and published by Celadon Books. This book was released on 2019-03-05 with total page 302 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “Wow. This book totally rocks. It arrived on a day when I was in deep confusion and sadness about my age. Everything about it, from my invisibility to my neck. Within four or five wise, passionate pages, I had found insight, illumination, and inspiration. I never use the word empower, but this book has empowered me.” —Anne Lamott, New York Times bestselling author Author, activist, and TED speaker Ashton Applewhite has written a rousing manifesto calling for an end to discrimination and prejudice on the basis of age. In our youth obsessed culture, we’re bombarded by media images and messages about the despairs and declines of our later years. Beauty and pharmaceutical companies work overtime to convince people to purchase products that will retain their youthful appearance and vitality. Wrinkles are embarrassing. Gray hair should be colored and bald heads covered with implants. Older minds and bodies are too frail to keep up with the pace of the modern working world and olders should just step aside for the new generation. Ashton Applewhite once held these beliefs too until she realized where this prejudice comes from and the damage it does. Lively, funny, and deeply researched, This Chair Rocks traces her journey from apprehensive boomer to pro-aging radical, and in the process debunks myth after myth about late life. Explaining the roots of ageism in history and how it divides and debases, Applewhite examines how ageist stereotypes cripple the way our brains and bodies function, looks at ageism in the workplace and the bedroom, exposes the cost of the all-American myth of independence, critiques the portrayal of elders as burdens to society, describes what an all-age-friendly world would look like, and offers a rousing call to action. It’s time to create a world of age equality by making discrimination on the basis of age as unacceptable as any other kind of bias. Whether you’re older or hoping to get there, this book will shake you by the shoulders, cheer you up, make you mad, and change the way you see the rest of your life. Age pride!
Download or read book Unicorn Being a Jerk written by C. W. Moss and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2011-11-08 with total page 126 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Mystical, gentle, magical . . . as if. You’ve obviously neverseen a unicorn in his natural habitat—those guys are jerks. CartoonistC. W. Moss reveals the less-than-wonderful side of the world’s most wondrouscreature in his hilarious series of single panel comics, UnicornBeing A Jerk. Take a gander at what these fantastical creaturesare really like, in comics like “Unicorn Being a Stalker,” “UnicornTrying to Peek at Breast-feeding Woman’s Nipple,” “Unicorn Denying theHolocaust,” and more. Readers of Moss’s online strip will love thesignificantly expanded book, which features what Moss describes as “a wholebunch of new illustrations,” in a collection perfect for fans of The Book ofBunny Suicides, Cyanide & Happiness, Penny Arcade and TheTruth about Chuck Norris.
Download or read book The Third Life of Grange Copeland written by Alice Walker and published by Open Road Media. This book was released on 2011-11-22 with total page 328 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the New York Times–bestselling author of The Color Purple: A “moving, tender” novel of a Deep South tenant farmer’s quest for a new life (Publishers Weekly). Grange Copeland, a deeply conflicted and struggling tenant farmer in the Deep South of the 1930s, leaves his family and everything he’s ever known to find happiness and respect in the cold cities of the North. This misadventure, his “second life,” proves a dismal failure that sends him back where he came from to confront his now-grown-up son’s disastrous relationships with his own family, including Grange’s granddaughter, Ruth Copeland, a child that Grange grows to love. Love becomes the substance of his third and final life. He spends it in devotion to Ruth, teaching and protecting her—though the cost of doing so is almost more than he can bear. From a Pulitzer Prize and National Book Award winner, this is an “honest sensitive tale . . . leavened by those moments of humor and warmth that have enabled men and women to endure so much tragedy” (Chicago Daily News). This ebook features an illustrated biography of Alice Walker including rare photos from the author’s personal collection.
Download or read book The Lost Continent written by Bill Bryson and published by VNR AG. This book was released on 1989 with total page 326 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "I come from Des Moines. Somebody had to." And, as soon as Bill Bryson was old enough, he left. Des Moines couldn't hold him, but it did lure him back. After ten years in England he returned to the land of his youth, and drove almost 14,000 miles in search of a mythical small town called Amalgam, the kind of smiling village where the movies from his youth were set. Instead he drove through a series of horrific burgs, which he renamed Smellville, Fartville, Coleslaw, Coma, and Doldrum. At best his search led him to Anywhere, USA, a lookalike strip of gas stations, motels and hamburger outlets populated by obese and slow-witted hicks with a partiality for synthetic fibres. He discovered a continent that was doubly lost: lost to itself because he found it blighted by greed, pollution, mobile homes and television; lost to him because he had become a foreigner in his own country.
Download or read book Heist Society written by Ally Carter and published by Little, Brown Books for Young Readers. This book was released on 2010-02-09 with total page 304 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When Katarina Bishop was three, her parents took her to the Louvre...to case it. For her seventh birthday, Katarina and her Uncle Eddie traveled to Austria...to steal the crown jewels. When Kat turned fifteen, she planned a con of her own--scamming her way into the best boarding school in the country, determined to leave the family business behind. Unfortunately, leaving "the life" for a normal life proves harder than she'd expected. Soon, Kat's friend and former co-conspirator, Hale, appears out of nowhere to bring her back into the world she tried so hard to escape. But he has good reason: a powerful mobster's art collection has been stolen, and he wants it returned. Only a master thief could have pulled this job, and Kat's father isn't just on the suspect list, he is the list. Caught between Interpol and a far more deadly enemy, Kat's dad needs her help. For Kat there is only one solution: track down the paintings and steal them back. So what if it's a spectacularly impossible job? She's got two weeks, a teenage crew, and hopefully just enough talent to pull off the biggest heist in her family's (very crooked) history--and, with any luck, steal her life back along the way.
Download or read book Red White Royal Blue written by Casey McQuiston and published by St. Martin's Griffin. This book was released on 2019-05-14 with total page 314 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: * Instant NEW YORK TIMES and USA TODAY bestseller * * GOODREADS CHOICE AWARD WINNER for BEST DEBUT and BEST ROMANCE of 2019 * * BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR* for VOGUE, NPR, VANITY FAIR, and more! * What happens when America's First Son falls in love with the Prince of Wales? When his mother became President, Alex Claremont-Diaz was promptly cast as the American equivalent of a young royal. Handsome, charismatic, genius—his image is pure millennial-marketing gold for the White House. There's only one problem: Alex has a beef with the actual prince, Henry, across the pond. And when the tabloids get hold of a photo involving an Alex-Henry altercation, U.S./British relations take a turn for the worse. Heads of family, state, and other handlers devise a plan for damage control: staging a truce between the two rivals. What at first begins as a fake, Instragramable friendship grows deeper, and more dangerous, than either Alex or Henry could have imagined. Soon Alex finds himself hurtling into a secret romance with a surprisingly unstuffy Henry that could derail the campaign and upend two nations and begs the question: Can love save the world after all? Where do we find the courage, and the power, to be the people we are meant to be? And how can we learn to let our true colors shine through? Casey McQuiston's Red, White & Royal Blue proves: true love isn't always diplomatic. "I took this with me wherever I went and stole every second I had to read! Absorbing, hilarious, tender, sexy—this book had everything I crave. I’m jealous of all the readers out there who still get to experience Red, White & Royal Blue for the first time!" - Christina Lauren, New York Times bestselling author of The Unhoneymooners "Red, White & Royal Blue is outrageously fun. It is romantic, sexy, witty, and thrilling. I loved every second." - Taylor Jenkins Reid, New York Times bestselling author of Daisy Jones & The Six
Download or read book Pisces Rising written by Martha C. Lawrence and published by Speaking Volumes. This book was released on with total page 292 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “Just when you think you’ve seen everything, something new comes . . . and astounds you.”—The Dallas Morning News I moved through the casino in a daze, my senses overloaded by lights, noise, and the discordant vibes of the gamblers. Their emotions—numbness, excitement, anxiety, ecstasy, love, loathing—clashed all around me.... I stopped at a game, and that's when it all started. I began to know things. It's an unpredictable gift, an ability I can't force to come about. Nor can I stop it once it's begun. I knew that the short-haired brunette at the end of the table would lose. In spite of her pretty white smile and positive attitude, I could see her defeat.... As for me, it was as if I'd already played my hands and seen their outcome. Tonight I was destined to win.... After seeing her fiancé gunned down at the end of her last investigation, psychic detective Elizabeth Chase is reluctant to go back to detective work. But when an old friend calls in a favor, Elizabeth finds her unique talents pitted against her most brutal and baffling case yet—the pursuit of a vicious murderer wanted in connection with the scalping of a Native American casino owner. Elizabeth soon learns that the tranquil setting of the Temecu reservation belies a dangerous undercurrent of political scheming, racism, and pure human greed. As she struggles to figure out who can be trusted, Elizabeth must call upon all of her resources not only to solve the crime, but to restore her own spirit. The first three Elizabeth Chase mysteries have been widely acclaimed by readers, critics, and other writers alike: "With a refreshingly eccentric style, Martha C. Lawrence makes psychic investigator Elizabeth Chase immensely appealing and totally believable," says Diane Mott Davidson. Or, as Harlan Coben puts it, "You don't have to read the stars to see that Martha Lawrence is up there with the likes of Sue Grafton, Sara Paretsky, and Marcia Muller."
Download or read book Sophie s World written by Jostein Gaarder and published by Farrar, Straus and Giroux. This book was released on 2007-03-20 with total page 735 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A page-turning novel that is also an exploration of the great philosophical concepts of Western thought, Jostein Gaarder's Sophie's World has fired the imagination of readers all over the world, with more than twenty million copies in print. One day fourteen-year-old Sophie Amundsen comes home from school to find in her mailbox two notes, with one question on each: "Who are you?" and "Where does the world come from?" From that irresistible beginning, Sophie becomes obsessed with questions that take her far beyond what she knows of her Norwegian village. Through those letters, she enrolls in a kind of correspondence course, covering Socrates to Sartre, with a mysterious philosopher, while receiving letters addressed to another girl. Who is Hilde? And why does her mail keep turning up? To unravel this riddle, Sophie must use the philosophy she is learning—but the truth turns out to be far more complicated than she could have imagined.
Download or read book Born Standing Up written by Steve Martin and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2008-09-04 with total page 198 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Steve Martin has been an international star for over thirty years. Here, for the first time, he looks back to the beginning of his career and charmingly evokes the young man he once was. Born in Texas but raised in California, Steve was seduced early by the comedy shows that played on the radio when the family travelled back and forth to visit relatives. When Disneyland opened just a couple of miles away from home, an enchanted Steve was given his first chance to learn magic and entertain an audience. He describes how he noted the reaction to each joke in a ledger - 'big laugh' or 'quiet' - and assiduously studied the acts of colleagues, stealing jokes when needed. With superb detail, Steve recreates the world of small, dark clubs and the fear and exhilaration of standing in the spotlight. While a philosophy student at UCLA, he worked hard at local clubs honing his comedy and slowly attracting a following until he was picked up to write for TV. From here on, Steve Martin became an acclaimed comedian, packing out venues nationwide. One night, however, he noticed empty seats and realised he had 'reached the top of the rollercoaster'. BORN STANDING UP is a funny and riveting chronicle of how Steve Martin became the comedy genius we now know and is also a fascinating portrait of an era.
Download or read book Three Years in Tibet written by Ekai Kawaguchi and published by anboco. This book was released on 2016-09-28 with total page 755 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: I was lately reading the Holy Text of the Saḍḍharma-Puṇdarīka (the Aphorisms of the White Lotus of the Wonderful or True Law) in a Samskṛṭ manuscript under a Boḍhi-tree near Mṛga-Ḍāva (Sāranāṭh), Benares. Here our Blessed Lord Buḍḍha Shākya-Muni taught His Holy Ḍharma just after the accomplishment of His Buḍḍhahood at Buḍḍhagayā. Whilst doing so, I was reminded of the time, eighteen years ago, when I had read the same text in Chinese at a great Monastery named Ohbakusang at Kyoto in Japan, a reading which determined me to undertake a visit to Tibet. It was in March, 1891, that I gave up the Rectorship of the Monastery of Gohyakurakan in Tokyo, and left for Kyoto, where I remained living as a hermit for about three years, totally absorbed in the study of a large collection of Buḍḍhist books in the Chinese language. My object in doing so was to fulfil a long-felt desire to translate the texts into Japanese in an easy style from the difficult and unintelligible Chinese. But I afterwards found that it was not a wise thing to rely upon the Chinese texts alone, without comparing them with Tibetan translations as well as with the original Samskṛṭ texts which are contained in Mahāyāna Buḍḍhism. The Buḍḍhist Samskṛṭ texts were to be found in Tibet and Nepāl. Of course, many of them had been discovered by European Orientalists in Nepāl and a few in other parts of India and Japan. But those texts had not yet been found which included the most important manuscripts of which Buḍḍhist scholars were in great want. Then again, the Tibetan texts were famous for being[vi] more accurate translations than the Chinese. Now I do not say that the Tibetan translations are superior to the Chinese. As literal translations, I think that they are superior; but, for their general meaning, the Chinese are far better than the Tibetan.
Download or read book Painful Questions written by Eric Hufschmid and published by . This book was released on 2002 with total page 164 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Photos and commentary on cover of copy 1 differ from that of copy 2.
