Download or read book These Got Me Punched written by Nicholas Stevens and published by Mascot Books. This book was released on 2020-01-07 with total page 240 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This is a book about kisses. Actually, it's about learning and growing and adapting and submitting, but the unifying feature is a kiss. Initially, it contained 49 stories-some accounts of the kiss, some where the kiss is an ancillary detail to a bigger story, some comprised of dialog, a poem, a song, some haikus, and even a single piece of fiction. Nicholas posed a challenge to his co-workers during one of their daily mundane tasks: remember the names of everyone they had ever kissed on the mouth. His co-workers were stumped, but Nicholas remembered them all. Good, bad, or other, they all meant something, and potential, intimacy, and the potential for intimacy created lasting impressions on an incurable (and hormonal) young romantic. Nicholas wrote the first 49 chapters as a homage to the 50th (and presumably last) woman he would ever kiss: his wife. The original plan was to write only 49 stories of kisses because the 50th story was theirs and theirs alone. It was a story that he thought had no ending. But the 50th story is included here, and it's also the namesake of the collection

Download or read book Things I Want to Punch in the Face written by and published by Prospect Park Books. This book was released on 2015-08-17 with total page 137 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Anger is like an essential vitamin, and Jen has given me even more reasons to be angry. I couldn't be happier or healthier."—Lewis Black, stand-up comedian, actor, author, and regular on The Daily Show The second edition of Things I Want to Punch in the Face brings humor writer Jennifer Worick's newest and most popular diatribes about the most annoying things in everyday life and modern American society, including: Cold-Pressed Coffee TED Talks Evites Cosplay Polar Bear Clubs Family Car Stickers Mixologists Scrabble Yoga Pants #blessed And there's more, so much more. From nail art to Hobbits, passwords to auto-tune, Worick takes aim at the copious bounty of annoyances that irk her shit. And ours. Jennifer Worick has written two dozen books on pop culture, humor, and crafts, including two Worst Case Scenario books (Chronicle), the hit Nancy Drew's Guide to Life (Running Press), and the successful first edition of Things I Want to Punch in the Face (Prospect Park Books). She has toured the nation delivering a hilarious slide show on dating and sex to college students; she co-runs The Business of Books; she writes two blogs; and she has more than twenty-two thousand Twitter followers. Jen lives in Seattle, Washington.

Download or read book Rachel Spinelli Punched Me in the Face written by Paul Acampora and published by Square Fish. This book was released on 2013-02-19 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Zachary's mom just up and disappeared from their home in Copper Lake, Colorado. The good news is that Zachary and his dad are trying to move on, and Falls, Connecticut, is just the place for a fresh start. With the help of a new friend, Rachel, and her brother Teddy, Zachary is learning about new beginnings, the power of forgiveness, and the quirky people that make life interesting, in Rachel Spinelli Punched Me in the Face by Paul Acampora.

Download or read book People I Want to Punch in the Throat written by Jen Mann and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 2014-09-09 with total page 226 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A debut collection of witty, biting essays laced with a surprising warmth, from Jen Mann, the writer behind the popular blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat People I want to punch in the throat: • anyone who feels the need to bling her washer and dryer • humblebraggers • people who treat their pets like children Jen Mann doesn’t have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, her fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of mothers’ night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship (the one you have with your cleaning lady), nothing is sacred or off-limits. So the next time you find yourself wearing fuzzy bunny pajamas in the school carpool line or accidentally stuck at a co-worker’s swingers party, just think, What would Jen Mann do? Or better yet, buy her book. Praise for People I Want to Punch in the Throat “People I Want to Punch in the Throat is so good that it’ll make you want to adopt all the cats in the world. I’m not sure about the correlation, but it’s that good. It should come with a warning.”—Jenny Lawson, author of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened “Jen Mann has an amazing way of telling stories that will make you cringe and burst out laughing at the same time. From swinger parties to racist toddlers, she makes the suburbs unbelievably funny.”—Karen Alpert, author of I Heart My Little A-Holes “Jen Mann says the things we’re all too afraid to say. Her honest and hilarious writing style reminds me of David Sedaris and Tina Fey.”—Robin O’Bryant, author of Ketchup Is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves “Jen Mann’s shrewd and unrelenting assault on the absurdity of suburban life is an honest peek into the occasional nightmare that is part of living the American dream. I love Jen. I wish she was my neighbor. It’s so refreshing to know that I’m not the only one who wants to punch almost everyone in the f***ing throat.”—Nicole Knepper, author of Moms Who Drink And Swear

Download or read book A Very Punchable Face written by Colin Jost and published by Crown. This book was released on 2020-07-14 with total page 346 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • In these hilarious essays, the Saturday Night Live head writer and Weekend Update co-anchor learns how to take a beating. “I always wanted to punch his face before I read this book. Now I just want to kick him in the balls.”—Larry David NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY Cosmopolitan • Vulture • Parade If there’s one trait that makes someone well suited to comedy, it’s being able to take a punch—metaphorically and, occasionally, physically. From growing up in a family of firefighters on Staten Island to commuting three hours a day to high school and “seeing the sights” (like watching a Russian woman throw a stroller off the back of a ferry), to attending Harvard while Facebook was created, Jost shares how he has navigated the world like a slightly smarter Forrest Gump. You’ll also discover things about Jost that will surprise and confuse you, like how Jimmy Buffett saved his life, how Czech teenagers attacked him with potato salad, how an insect laid eggs inside his legs, and how he competed in a twenty-five-man match at WrestleMania (and almost won). You'll go behind the scenes at SNL and Weekend Update (where he's written some of the most memorable sketches and jokes of the past fifteen years). And you’ll experience the life of a touring stand-up comedian—from performing in rural college cafeterias at noon to opening for Dave Chappelle at Radio City Music Hall. For every accomplishment (hosting the Emmys), there is a setback (hosting the Emmys). And for every absurd moment (watching paramedics give CPR to a raccoon), there is an honest, emotional one (recounting his mother’s experience on the scene of the Twin Towers’ collapse on 9/11). Told with a healthy dose of self-deprecation, A Very Punchable Face reveals the brilliant mind behind some of the dumbest sketches on television, and lays bare the heart and humor of a hardworking guy—with a face you can’t help but want to punch.

Download or read book I Know This Much Is True written by Wally Lamb and published by Cambridge University Press. This book was released on 1998-06-03 with total page 884 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: With his stunning debut novel, She's Come Undone, Wally Lamb won the adulation of critics and readers with his mesmerizing tale of one woman's painful yet triumphant journey of self-discovery. Now, this brilliantly talented writer returns with I Know This Much Is True, a heartbreaking and poignant multigenerational saga of the reproductive bonds of destruction and the powerful force of forgiveness. A masterpiece that breathtakingly tells a story of alienation and connection, power and abuse, devastation and renewal--this novel is a contemporary retelling of an ancient Hindu myth. A proud king must confront his demons to achieve salvation. Change yourself, the myth instructs, and you will inhabit a renovated world. When you're the same brother of a schizophrenic identical twin, the tricky thing about saving yourself is the blood it leaves on your bands--the little inconvenience of the look-alike corpse at your feet. And if you're into both survival of the fittest and being your brother's keeper--if you've promised your dying mother--then say so long to sleep and hello to the middle of the night. Grab a book or a beer. Get used to Letterman's gap-toothed smile of the absurd, or the view of the bedroom ceiling, or the influence of random selection. Take it from a godless insomniac. Take it from the uncrazy twin--the guy who beat the biochemical rap. Dominick Birdsey's entire life has been compromised and constricted by anger and fear, by the paranoid schizophrenic twin brother he both deeply loves and resents, and by the past they shared with their adoptive father, Ray, a spit-and-polish ex-Navy man (the five-foot-six-inch sleeping giant who snoozed upstairs weekdays in the spare room and built submarines at night), and their long-suffering mother, Concettina, a timid woman with a harelip that made her shy and self-conscious: She holds a loose fist to her face to cover her defective mouth--her perpetual apology to the world for a birth defect over which she'd had no control. Born in the waning moments of 1949 and the opening minutes of 1950, the twins are physical mirror images who grow into separate yet connected entities: the seemingly strong and protective yet fearful Dominick, his mother's watchful "monkey"; and the seemingly weak and sweet yet noble Thomas, his mother's gentle "bunny." From childhood, Dominick fights for both separation and wholeness--and ultimately self-protection--in a house of fear dominated by Ray, a bully who abuses his power over these stepsons whose biological father is a mystery. I was still afraid of his anger but saw how he punished weakness--pounced on it. Out of self-preservation I hid my fear, Dominick confesses. As for Thomas, he just never knew how to play defense. He just didn't get it. But Dominick's talent for survival comes at an enormous cost, including the breakup of his marriage to the warm, beautiful Dessa, whom he still loves. And it will be put to the ultimate test when Thomas, a Bible-spouting zealot, commits an unthinkable act that threatens the tenuous balance of both his and Dominick's lives. To save himself, Dominick must confront not only the pain of his past but the dark secrets he has locked deep within himself, and the sins of his ancestors--a quest that will lead him beyond the confines of his blue-collar New England town to the volcanic foothills of Sicily 's Mount Etna, where his ambitious and vengefully proud grandfather and a namesake Domenico Tempesta, the sostegno del famiglia, was born. Each of the stories Ma told us about Papa reinforced the message that he was the boss, that he ruled the roost, that what he said went. Searching for answers, Dominick turns to the whispers of the dead, to the pages of his grandfather's handwritten memoir, The History of Domenico Onofrio Tempesta, a Great Man from Humble Beginnings. Rendered with touches of magic realism, Domenico's fablelike tale--in which monkeys enchant and religious statues weep--becomes the old man's confession--an unwitting legacy of contrition that reveals the truth's of Domenico's life, Dominick learns that power, wrongly used, defeats the oppressor as well as the oppressed, and now, picking through the humble shards of his deconstructed life, he will search for the courage and love to forgive, to expiate his and his ancestors' transgressions, and finally to rebuild himself beyond the haunted shadow of his twin. Set against the vivid panoply of twentieth-century America and filled with richly drawn, memorable characters, this deeply moving and thoroughly satisfying novel brings to light humanity's deepest needs and fears, our aloneness, our desire for love and acceptance, our struggle to survive at all costs. Joyous, mystical, and exquisitely written, I Know This Much Is True is an extraordinary reading experience that will leave no reader untouched.

Download or read book People Who Deserve It written by Casey Rand and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2010-11-02 with total page 224 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Society tells us to accept people for who they are. Sometimes society is wrong. Meet the best of the absolute worst-the perpetrators of the most wretched demonstrations of moral conduct ever: Super Snorer Terrible Baby Namer Hot Water User-Upper Express Checkout Cheater No-Umbrella Etiquette Lady Eight-Minute Voicemail Leaver Dude Who Takes Board Games Too Seriously People Who Deserve It exposes everyone and everything whose behavior, life choices, and sometimes odor leave humanity with only one painful option: a punch to the face.

Download or read book Sucker Punch written by Laurell K. Hamilton and published by Berkley Books. This book was released on 2020 with total page 626 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "A brutal murder, a suspect in jail, and an execution planned, but what if the wrong person is about to be executed? When a fellow U.S. Marshal asks Anita Blake to fly to a tiny community in Michigan's Upper Peninsula on an emergency consult, she knows time is running short. When she gets there, there is plenty of proof that a young wereleopard killed his uncle in the most gruesome and bloodiest way possible. As the mounting evidence points to him, a warrant of execution is already under way. But something seems off about the murder, and Anita has been asked to examine the crime scene and the evidence for her expert opinion. Despite the escalating pressure from local cops and the family's cries for justice for their dead patriarch, Anita quickly realizes that the evidence doesn't quite add up. But with a tight-knit community up in arms and fear against supernaturals growing, time is almost up, as Anita races to uncover the truth and determine whether the Marshals have caught the killer or are about to execute an innocent man, all in the name of justice."--

Download or read book Tristan Strong Punches a Hole in the Sky Volume 1 written by Kwame Mbalia and published by Disney Electronic Content. This book was released on 2019-10-15 with total page 491 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Best-selling author Rick Riordan presents Kwame Mbalia's epic fantasy, a middle grade American Gods set in a richly-imagined world populated with African American folk heroes and West African gods. Seventh grader Tristan Strong feels anything but strong ever since he failed to save his best friend when they were in a bus accident together. All he has left of Eddie is the journal his friend wrote stories in. Tristan is dreading the month he's going to spend on his grandparents' farm in Alabama, where he's being sent to heal from the tragedy. But on his first night there, a sticky creature shows up in his bedroom and steals Eddie's notebook. Tristan chases after it--is that a doll?--and a tug-of-war ensues between them underneath a Bottle Tree. In a last attempt to wrestle the journal out of the creature's hands, Tristan punches the tree, accidentally ripping open a chasm into the MidPass, a volatile place with a burning sea, haunted bone ships, and iron monsters that are hunting the inhabitants of this world. Tristan finds himself in the middle of a battle that has left black American folk heroes John Henry and Brer Rabbit exhausted. In order to get back home, Tristan and these new allies will need to entice the god Anansi, the Weaver, to come out of hiding and seal the hole in the sky. But bartering with the trickster Anansi always comes at a price. Can Tristan save this world before he loses more of the things he loves?

Download or read book Ladies Who Punch written by Ramin Setoodeh and published by Macmillan. This book was released on 2019-04-02 with total page 248 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: THE INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES AND WALL STREET JOURNAL BESTSELLER Like Fire & Fury, the gossipy real-life soap opera behind a serious show. When Barbara Walters launched The View, network executives told her that hosting it would tarnish her reputation. Instead, within ten years, she’d revolutionized morning TV and made household names of her co-hosts: Joy Behar, Star Jones, Meredith Vieira and Elisabeth Hasselbeck. But the daily chatfest didn’t just comment on the news. It became the news. And the headlines barely scratched the surface. Based on unprecedented access, including stunning interviews with nearly every host, award-winning journalist Ramin Setoodeh takes you backstage where the stars really spoke their minds. Here's the full story of how Star, then Rosie, then Whoopi tried to take over the show, while Barbara struggled to maintain control of it all, a modern-day Lear with her media-savvy daughters. You'll read about how so many co-hosts had a tough time fitting in, suffered humiliations at the table, then pushed themselves away, feeling betrayed—one nearly quitting during a commercial. Meanwhile, the director was being driven insane, especially by Rosie. Setoodeh uncovers the truth about Star’s weight loss and wedding madness. Rosie’s feud with Trump. Whoopi’s toxic relationship with Rosie. Barbara’s difficulty stepping away. Plus, all the unseen hugs, snubs, tears—and one dead rodent. Ladies Who Punch shows why The View can be mimicked and mocked, but it can never be matched.

Download or read book Before We Were Strangers written by Renée Carlino and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2015-08-18 with total page 320 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the USA TODAY bestselling author of Sweet Thing and Nowhere But Here comes a love story about a Craigslist “missed connection” post that gives two people a second chance at love fifteen years after they were separated in New York City. To the Green-eyed Lovebird: We met fifteen years ago, almost to the day, when I moved my stuff into the NYU dorm room next to yours at Senior House. You called us fast friends. I like to think it was more. We lived on nothing but the excitement of finding ourselves through music (you were obsessed with Jeff Buckley), photography (I couldn’t stop taking pictures of you), hanging out in Washington Square Park, and all the weird things we did to make money. I learned more about myself that year than any other. Yet, somehow, it all fell apart. We lost touch the summer after graduation when I went to South America to work for National Geographic. When I came back, you were gone. A part of me still wonders if I pushed you too hard after the wedding… I didn’t see you again until a month ago. It was a Wednesday. You were rocking back on your heels, balancing on that thick yellow line that runs along the subway platform, waiting for the F train. I didn’t know it was you until it was too late, and then you were gone. Again. You said my name; I saw it on your lips. I tried to will the train to stop, just so I could say hello. After seeing you, all of the youthful feelings and memories came flooding back to me, and now I’ve spent the better part of a month wondering what your life is like. I might be totally out of my mind, but would you like to get a drink with me and catch up on the last decade and a half? M

Download or read book When You Reach Me written by Rebecca Stead and published by Wendy Lamb Books. This book was released on 2009-07-14 with total page 210 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Like A Wrinkle in Time (Miranda's favorite book), When You Reach Me far surpasses the usual whodunit or sci-fi adventure to become an incandescent exploration of 'life, death, and the beauty of it all.'" —The Washington Post This Newbery Medal winner that has been called "smart and mesmerizing," (The New York Times) and "superb" (The Wall Street Journal) will appeal to readers of all types, especially those who are looking for a thought-provoking mystery with a mind-blowing twist. Shortly after a fall-out with her best friend, sixth grader Miranda starts receiving mysterious notes, and she doesn’t know what to do. The notes tell her that she must write a letter—a true story, and that she can’t share her mission with anyone. It would be easy to ignore the strange messages, except that whoever is leaving them has an uncanny ability to predict the future. If that is the case, then Miranda has a big problem—because the notes tell her that someone is going to die, and she might be too late to stop it. Winner of the Boston Globe–Horn Book Award for Fiction A New York Times Bestseller and Notable Book Five Starred Reviews A Junior Library Guild Selection "Absorbing." —People "Readers ... are likely to find themselves chewing over the details of this superb and intricate tale long afterward." —The Wall Street Journal "Lovely and almost impossibly clever." —The Philadelphia Inquirer "It's easy to imagine readers studying Miranda's story as many times as she's read L'Engle's, and spending hours pondering the provocative questions it raises." —Publishers Weekly, Starred review

Download or read book Sucker Punched written by Kelley Martin and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2016-09-26 with total page 232 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Macy Dunham" is synonymous with "off-limits." Not only is she practically a virgin, but she's a walking, talking angel who's way too good for a devil like me. She's straight-up beautiful, and so far out of my league I want to cry. Did I mention she's also the godmother to my future niece or nephew? Now I have to play nice with "Aunt Macy" for the next 18 years. There's just one tiny problem-the first night I met her, I played with her a little too nice. Macy was only supposed to be a hook-up. I was supposed to show her a night she'd never forget-give her a little taste of what it's like to be bad-and then send her on her way. She wasn't supposed to stick around, and she damn sure wasn't supposed to become my best friend. Do you have any idea how hard it is to pretend like I don't know how soft her skin feels, how good her lips taste, or how perfect it feels inside her? It's torture. I'd give my left nut for another chance to sink inside Macy, but I can't afford to mess this up and that's exactly what would happen. It's too bad "Blake Whitmore" is synonymous with "screw-up." Macy's a sweet girl who deserves an epic love story. She deserves romance, and a knight in shining armor who slays dragons. I'm not the knight in this story. I'm the dragon.

Download or read book The Gone Away World written by Nick Harkaway and published by Vintage. This book was released on 2008-09-02 with total page 514 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A hilarious, action-packed look at the apocalypse that combines a touching tale of friendship, a thrilling war story, and an all out kung-fu infused mission to save the world. “A flat-out ferociously good novel.... Reads like a surrealist smashup of Pynchon and Pratchett, Vonnegut and Heller.” —Austin Chronicle Gonzo Lubitch and his best friend have been inseparable since birth. They grew up together, they studied kung-fu together, they rebelled in college together, and they fought in the Go Away War together. Now, with the world in shambles and dark, nightmarish clouds billowing over the wastelands, they have been tapped for an incredibly perilous mission. But they quickly realize that this assignment is more complex than it seems, and before it is over they will have encountered everything from mimes, ninjas, and pirates to one ultra-sinister mastermind, whose only goal is world domination.

Download or read book Don t Ever Punch a Rockstar written by Danny Marianino and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2012-11-16 with total page 266 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Documenting Danny Marianino's days as a metalhead from childhood into adulthood, Don't Ever Punch a Rockstar somehow rationalizes playing in a few hardcore/punk bands, touring, fighting, drinking, internet bullying, celebrity encounters, satanic curses, house fires, harassment and collecting an immeasurable amount of hate mail from some of the most illiterate human beings the world has to offer. Though Oprah will never add this into her book club, it's still a good lesson in accepting the negative with a laugh and gaining a new sense of temperance and humility. At the very least I will entertain you with a campy memoir and a detailed eye-opening account of the chaos that followed the infamous event that VH1 called one of the Most Shocking Moments in Rock and Roll. This is by no means the same old autobiography that you have read before. Don't Ever Punch a Rockstar combine elements of Get in The Van, Emails from and Asshole and Shit My Dad Says all in one hot mess of a story. Praise for the book - "Danny Marianino's Never Punch A Rockstar is a sock in the jaw to punk/metal scene conformity, and it hurts so good! Final score: North Side Kings 2, Danzig, 0." - STEVEN BLUSH, author/filmmaker, American Hardcore "As trenchant, sometimes funny, insightful and shocking as a punch in the face. WHICH is incidentally what started this whole ball rolling. A pretty potent look into the power of image and the punching of the face of arguably a legend of, well, face punching, Glenn Danzig, and the ensuing firestorm that followed. I'd give it 5 black eyes." -- EUGENE S. ROBINSON, singer for Oxbow & author of FIGHT: Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Ass Kicking But Were Afraid You'd Get Your Ass Kicked For Asking "With Don't Ever Punch a Rock Star author Danny Marianino has written an entertaining, humorous and humble autobiography. The often times laugh-out-loud recollections of Danny's life up to and following the infamous run-in with the drama-queen of dark metal is more than engaging and, with the inclusion of hate mail, zany rumors, message board threats and internet tough guys, you're sure to get a good giggle while learning what truly transpired that fateful night in Tuba City." - DUSTIN LAVALLEY, author of Spinner "As we have always said on the streets of NY - don't start none -there wont be none - and if you do, at least keep your hands up and guard your grill. Way to K.O. rock star attitudes Danny Boy!" - John Joseph author of The Evolution of a Cro-Magnon and Meat is For Pussies

Download or read book Punched written by Stacie Schaat and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2020-01-28 with total page 130 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Discover the primitive craft of punch needle as seen through the eyes of a contemporary artist giving the technique fresh, modern appeal. Yellow Spool's Stacie Schaat shares all you need to know to take a stab in Punched. With Stacie's guidance you'll learn: • Simple tools and basic techniques can make a range of trendy home goods. • Step-by-step mini-lessons that take you from beginner to pro in no time. • When to follow the rules and when to break them for knock out results. • How to combine quick, repetitive stitches with composition and color for a modern aesthetic with a dozen must-make projects. Explore the traditional and untraditional methods of punch needle with projects that can be displayed, used, and loved for generations. You're sure to be pleased as Punched.

Download or read book Minutes of Evidence written by and published by . This book was released on 1908 with total page 648 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: