Download or read book The Sprouts of Wrath written by Robert Rankin and published by Random House. This book was released on 1993 with total page 292 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The fourth part of the "Brentford Trilogy". Amazing, but true, Brentford Town Council has agreed to host the next Olympic Games. However, something sinister is afoot in Brentford, and it is up to the regulars of The Flying Swan to save the world as we know it.

Download or read book The Antipope written by Robert Rankin and published by Random House. This book was released on 1992-02 with total page 292 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Fantasy-roman.

Download or read book The Japanese Devil Fish Girl and Other Unnatural Attractions written by Robert Rankin and published by Gollancz. This book was released on 2010-09-09 with total page 261 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The pickled Martian's tentacles are fraying at the ends and Professor Coffin's Most Meritorious Unnatural Attraction (the remains of the original alien autopsy, performed by Sir Frederick Treves at the London Hospital) is no longer drawing the crowds. It's 1895; nearly a decade since Mars invaded Earth, chronicled by H.G. Wells in THE WAR OF THE WORLDS. Wrecked Martian spaceships, back-engineered by Charles Babbage and Nikola Tesla, have carried the Queen's Own Electric Fusiliers to the red planet, and Mars is now part of the ever-expanding British Empire. The less-than-scrupulous sideshow proprietor likes Off-worlders' cash, so he needs a sensational new attraction. Word has reached him of the Japanese Devil Fish Girl; nothing quite like her has ever existed before. But Professor Coffin's quest to possess the ultimate showman's exhibit is about to cause considerable friction amongst the folk of other planets. Sufficient, in fact, to spark off Worlds War Two.

Download or read book The Book of Ultimate Truths written by ROBERT. RANKIN and published by Corgi. This book was released on 2017-06-29 with total page 352 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: He had walked the earth as Nostradamus, Uther Pendragon, Count Cagliostro and Rodrigo Borgia. He could open a tin of sardines with his teeth, strike a Swan Vesta on his chin, rope steers, drive a steam locomotive and hum all the works of Gilbert & Sullivan without becoming confused or breaking down in tears. He died, penniless, at a Hastings boarding house, in his ninetieth year. His name was Hugo Artemis Solon Saturnicus Reginald Arthur Rune, and he was never bored. Hailed as the 'guru's guru', Rune penned more than eight million words of genius including his greatest work, The Book of Ultimate Truths. But vital chapters of The Book were suppressed, chapters which could have changed the whole course of human history. Now, seventeen-year-old Cornelius Murphy, together with his best friend Tuppe, sets out on an epic quest. Their mission - recover the missing chapters. Re-publish The Book of Ultimate Truths. And save the world.

Download or read book Sprout Mask Replica written by Robert Rankin and published by Corgi. This book was released on 1997 with total page 350 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: It's all down to the butterfly His great-grandfather died at the Battle of Little Big Horn. He wasn't with Custer though. He was holding a sprout-bake in the field next door and went over to complain about the noise. His grandfather was a preacherman, who wore weighted shoes in the pulpit to avoid any embarrassing levitations during moments of extreme rapture. His father practised body-modification and once shinned up the inside of a drainpipe to win a bet with his mum. And then there was him. And he was the Chosen One. He had THE GIFT. You've heard of the Butterfly of Chaos Theory? The one that flaps its wings in the Andes and causes a thunderstorm in Penge? Well, he could do that. Shift a biro in his top pocket and cause the Tokyo Stock Exchange to rise twenty two points. Put a paperclip on his ear and make England win the World Cup. And with a gift like that, imagine what you could do. You could change this world into paradise. Or you could really screw up. BIG TIME!

Download or read book Plant a Little Seed written by Bonnie Christensen and published by Macmillan. This book was released on 2012-05-08 with total page 44 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Marcy and Miss Rosa start a campaign to clean up an empty lot and turn it into a community garden.

Download or read book Knees Up Mother Earth written by Robert Rankin and published by Hachette UK. This book was released on 2011-06-16 with total page 388 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Magic, time travel and football: not exactly your everyday combination - but the fate of mankind hangs upon the result. Of course. There's big trouble in little Brentford. Property developers are planning to destroy the borough's beloved football ground and build executive homes on the site. Shock! Outrage! Horror! The lads of The Flying Swan, Brentford's most celebrated drinking house, take up the challenge. Surely with these stalwarts working for the cause, Brentford's football ground can be saved? Would it were so, but this is Brentford and ancient forces of evil are forever stirring in the borough: Old Testament terrors, Lovecraftian loathsomes and beasties from the bottomless pit. And if the team make it through to the final, it's going to be a match that no one will forget. What with the fate of mankind hanging upon the result. And everything.

Download or read book Retromancer written by Robert Rankin and published by Gollancz. This book was released on 2009-12-17 with total page 308 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: There is big and evil magic abroad upon the face of the Earth. History has been changed. The Germans have won WWII. America is a nuclear wasteland. And worst of all, the breakfast menu at The Wife's Legs Café in Brentford is serving Bratwurst rather than the proper big boys' British banger. Something is Not Right. And when the world's all wrong and it needs setting right, who're you gonna call? Hugo Rune, that's who. A man who offers the world his genius, and asks only, in return, that the world cover his expenses. And so, with the aid of his faithful acolyte and companion Rizla, the guru's guru, also known as the hokus bloke, the Lad Himself and the Retromancer*, sets out to rewrite history the way it should be. Together they return to war-torn London, to solve the twelve cosmic conundra based on Hugo Rune's personal tarot deck, each one leading them closer to a final terrifying confrontation. They must match their wits against beautiful spies, advanced alien technology, killer robots and death rays, do battle with an ancient god, and come face to face once more with Hugo Rune's arch-enemy, the sinister Count Otto Black, all the while finding time to drink ale, talk the toot and dine out in some of London's swankiest eateries. Without ever paying the bill.

Download or read book The Brightonomicon written by Robert Rankin and published by Gollancz. This book was released on 2011-06-16 with total page 327 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Our teenage hero, having been thrown from Brighton Pier by the leader of The Canvey Island Mod Squad, narrowly escapes drowning thanks to the Perfect Master, Cosmic Dick and self-styled Logos of the Aeon (not to mention the reinventer of the Ocarina), Hugo Rune Himself. Our hero has lost his memory, and, in desperation, agrees to join The Lad Himself in the solving of twelve cases based upon The Brightonomicon, the new zodiac signs formed by the alignment of Brighton streets and discovered by Rune: carriageway constellations. And together they must find the Chronovision before it falls into the wrong hands and affords ultimate power to the would-be world dictator. And this being an adventure most exciting, they must find it before the sinister Count Otto Black, would-be World Dictator and all-round bad guy. Or the whole world will all go to pot.

Download or read book The Toyminator written by Robert Rankin and published by Hachette UK. This book was released on 2011-06-02 with total page 328 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Somewhere over the rainbow and just off the Yellow Brick Road stands Toy City, formerly known as Toy Town. And things are not going well for the city's inhabitants. There have been outbreaks of STC - Spontaneous Toy Combustion - and there are strange signs and portents in the Heavens. Preachers of Toy City's many religions are predicting that the End Times are approaching and that a Toy City Apocalypse will soon come to pass. But can this possibly be true, or is there a simple explanation - an alien invasion, for instance. With the body count rising and the forces of law and order baffled, it is the time for a hero to step forward and attempt to save the day. Well, two heroes actually, Eddie Bear, Toy City Private Eye and his loyal sidekick, Jack: our courageous twosome are about to face their biggest challenge yet, to save not only toykind, but the world of mankind too. Which should keep them out of the pub for a while.

Download or read book Eats Shoots Leaves written by Lynne Truss and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2004-04-12 with total page 119 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: We all know the basics of punctuation. Or do we? A look at most neighborhood signage tells a different story. Through sloppy usage and low standards on the internet, in email, and now text messages, we have made proper punctuation an endangered species. In Eats, Shoots & Leaves, former editor Lynne Truss dares to say, in her delightfully urbane, witty, and very English way, that it is time to look at our commas and semicolons and see them as the wonderful and necessary things they are. This is a book for people who love punctuation and get upset when it is mishandled. From the invention of the question mark in the time of Charlemagne to George Orwell shunning the semicolon, this lively history makes a powerful case for the preservation of a system of printing conventions that is much too subtle to be mucked about with.

Download or read book Nostradamus Ate My Hamster written by Robert Rankin and published by Random House. This book was released on 1997 with total page 324 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Robert wants to be a star in the movies. He has invented a system with his computer that could put the old stars back on the screen, alongside him. He has the script and the money, but Hollywood isn't keen. Could the perfect partnership lie with Ernest Fudgepacker of Fudgepacker's Emporium?

Download or read book Sex and Drugs and Sausage Rolls written by Robert Rankin and published by Random House. This book was released on 2000 with total page 388 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: He becomes funnier the more you read him.' Independent It has always been John Omally's secret ambition to become a rock star. In his youth he mastered air guitar and wardrobe-mirror posing, but he lacked that certain something. Talent. But at last an opportunity has arisen for John to get into 'The Industry'. A band called Gandhi's Hairdryer are looking for a manager, so all John has to do is persuade them that he is the new Brian Epstein. It should be a piece of cake. But - and there's always a but - there is something rather odd about this band. Something other-worldly. It might be the lead singer, whose voice has the power to heal. Might she be an angel, perhaps? Or could she be the Devil in disguise? Because, after all, the Devil does have all the best tunes. And this is Brentford. In this, his final offering of the twentieth century, Robert Rankin returns to the town of his birth, the friends of his youth and one of the loves of his life: Rock Music. 'Everybody should read at least one Robert Rankin in their life.' Daily Express

Download or read book The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse written by Robert Rankin and published by Hachette UK. This book was released on 2011-06-16 with total page 262 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A hilarious comic fantasy from the bestselling cult creator of the Brentford Triangle Trilogy Once upon a time Jack set out to find his fortune in the big city. But the big city is Toy City, formerly known as Toy Town, and it has grown considerably since the good old days and isn't all that jolly any more. And there is a serial killer loose on the streets. The old, rich nursery rhyme characters are being slaughtered one by one and the Toy City police are getting nowhere in their investigations. Meanwhile, Private Eye Bill Winkie has gone missing, leaving behind his sidekick Eddie Bear to take care of things. Eddie may be a battered teddy with an identity crisis, but someone's got to stop the killer. When he teams up with Jack, the two are ready for the challenge. Not to mention the heavy drinking, bad behaviour, car chases, gratuitous sex and violence, toy fetishism and all-round grossness along the way. It's going to be an epic adventure!

Download or read book Far Out Brussel Sprout written by June Factor and published by Far Out!. This book was released on 2017 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This collection of children's rhymes and chants were created by children, for children, and shared between children and across generations through their oral traditions. While being enormously fun and entertaining, these books have been shown to promote literacy through their use of rhythm and rhyme, encouraging children to recognize words and to predict what word/s might come next.

Download or read book Geektastic written by Holly Black and published by Little, Brown Books for Young Readers. This book was released on 2009-08-01 with total page 370 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Acclaimed authors Holly Black (Ironside)and Cecil Castellucci (Boy Proof) have united in geekdom to edit short stories from some of the best selling and most promising geeks in young adult literature: M.T. Anderson, Libba Bray, Cassandra Clare, John Green, Tracy Lynn, Cynthia and Greg Leitich Smith, David Levithan, Kelly Link, Barry Lyga, Wendy Mass, Garth Nix, Scott Westerfield, Lisa Yee, and Sara Zarr. With illustrated interstitials from comic book artists Hope Larson and Bryan Lee O'Malley, Geektastic covers all things geeky, from Klingons and Jedi Knights to fan fiction, theater geeks, and cosplayers. Whether you're a former, current, or future geek, or if you just want to get in touch with your inner geek, Geektastic will help you get your geek on!

Download or read book The Toyminator written by Robert Rankin and published by Gollancz. This book was released on 2011-06-02 with total page 329 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Somewhere over the rainbow and just off the Yellow Brick Road stands Toy City, formerly known as Toy Town. And things are not going well for the city's inhabitants. There have been outbreaks of STC - Spontaneous Toy Combustion - and there are strange signs and portents in the Heavens. Preachers of Toy City's many religions are predicting that the End Times are approaching and that a Toy City Apocalypse will soon come to pass. But can this possibly be true, or is there a simple explanation - an alien invasion, for instance. With the body count rising and the forces of law and order baffled, it is the time for a hero to step forward and attempt to save the day. Well, two heroes actually, Eddie Bear, Toy City Private Eye and his loyal sidekick, Jack: our courageous twosome are about to face their biggest challenge yet, to save not only toykind, but the world of mankind too. Which should keep them out of the pub for a while.