Download or read book The Princess Beard written by Kevin Hearne and published by Del Rey. This book was released on 2019-10-08 with total page 379 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This princess can shave herself! The hilarious bestselling authors of Kill the Farm Boy and No Country for Old Gnomes are back with a new adventure in the irreverent world of Pell. Once upon a time, a princess slept in a magical tower cloaked in thorns and roses. When she woke, she found no Prince Charming, only a surfeit of hair and grotesquely long fingernails—which was, honestly, better than some creep who acted without consent. She cut off her long braids and used them to escape. But she kept the beard because it made a great disguise. This is not a story about finding true love’s kiss—it's a story about finding yourself. On a pirate ship. Where you belong. But these are no ordinary pirates aboard The Puffy Peach, serving under Filthy Lucre, the one-eyed parrot pirate captain. First there’s Vic, a swole and misogynistic centaur on a mission to expunge himself of the magic that causes him to conjure tea and dainty cupcakes in response to stress. Then there’s Tempest, who’s determined to become the first dryad lawyer—preferably before she takes her ultimate form as a man-eating tree. They’re joined by Alobartalus, an awkward and unelfly elf who longs to meet his hero, the Sn’archivist who is said to take dictation directly from the gods of Pell. Throw in some mystery meat and a dastardly capitalist plot, and you’ve got one Pell of an adventure on the high seas! In this new escapade set in the magical land of Pell, Delilah S. Dawson and Kevin Hearne lovingly skewer the tropes of fairy tales and create a new kind of fantasy: generous, gently humorous, and inclusive. There might also be otters.
Download or read book Kill the Farm Boy written by Kevin Hearne and published by Del Rey. This book was released on 2018-07-17 with total page 411 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In an irreverent series in the tradition of Monty Python, the bestselling authors of the Iron Druid Chronicles and Star Wars: Phasma reinvent fantasy, fairy tales, and floridly written feast scenes. “Ranks among the best of Christopher Moore and Terry Pratchett.”—Chuck Wendig “When you put two authors of this high caliber together, expect fireworks. Or at least laughs. What a hoot!”—Terry Brooks Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, a hero, the Chosen One, was born . . . and so begins every fairy tale ever told. This is not that fairy tale. There is a Chosen One, but he is unlike any One who has ever been Chosened. And there is a faraway kingdom, but you have never been to a magical world quite like the land of Pell. There, a plucky farm boy will find more than he’s bargained for on his quest to awaken the sleeping princess in her cursed tower. First there’s the Dark Lord, who wishes for the boy’s untimely death . . . and also very fine cheese. Then there’s a bard without a song in her heart but with a very adorable and fuzzy tail, an assassin who fears not the night but is terrified of chickens, and a mighty fighter more frightened of her sword than of her chain-mail bikini. This journey will lead to sinister umlauts, a trash-talking goat, the Dread Necromancer Steve, and a strange and wondrous journey to the most peculiar “happily ever after” that ever once-upon-a-timed. Praise for Kill the Farm Boy “A rollicking fantasy adventure that upends numerous genre tropes in audacious style . . . a laugh-out-loud-funny fusion of Monty Python–esque humor and whimsy à la Terry Pratchett’s Discworld.”—Kirkus Reviews “Dawson and Hearne’s reimagining of a traditional fairy tale is reminiscent of William Goldman’s The Princess Bride and William Steig’s Shrek! Irreverent, funny, and full of entertaining wordplay, this will keep readers guessing until the end.”—Library Journal “Will have you laughing out loud until strangers begin to look at you oddly.”—SyFy “A smart comedy . . . nuanced, complicated, and human.”—Tordotcom “[Delilah Dawson and Kevin Hearne] make fun of the typical ‘white male power fantasies,’ and in that, they succeed, with their heroes all characters of color and/or falling somewhere under the LGBTQ umbrella.”—Publishers Weekly
Download or read book No Country for Old Gnomes written by Kevin Hearne and published by Del Rey. This book was released on 2019-04-16 with total page 435 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Go big or go gnome. The New York Times bestselling authors of Kill the Farm Boy welcome you to the world of Pell, the irreverent fantasy universe that recalls Monty Python and Terry Pratchett. “A complete delight, as fluffy and fun as The Lego Movie and as heartfelt as Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone.”—Locus War is coming, and it’s gonna be Pell. On one side stand the gnomes: smol, cheerful, possessing tidy cardigans and no taste for cruelty. On the other side sit the halflings, proudly astride their war alpacas, carrying bags of grenades and hungry for a fight. And pretty much anything else. It takes only one halfling bomb and Offi Numminen’s world is turned upside down—or downside up, really, since he lives in a hole in the ground. His goth cardigans and aggressive melancholy set him apart from the other gnomes, as does his decision to fight back against their halfling oppressors. Suddenly Offi is the leader of a band of lovable misfits and outcasts—from a gryphon who would literally kill for omelets to a young dwarf herbalist who is better with bees than with his cudgel to an assertive and cheerful teen witch with a beard as long as her book of curses—all on a journey to the Toot Towers to confront the dastardly villain intent on tearing Pell asunder. These adventurers never fit in anywhere else, but as they become friends, fight mermaids, and get really angry at this one raccoon, they learn that there’s nothing more heroic than being yourself. In No Country for Old Gnomes, Delilah S. Dawson and Kevin Hearne lovingly tweak the tropes of fantasy and fairy tales. Here you’ll find goofy jokes and whimsical puns, but you’ll also find a diverse, feminist, and lighthearted approach to fantasy that will bring a smile to your face and many fine cheeses to your plate.
Download or read book Moldylocks and the Three Beards written by Noah Z. Jones and published by . This book was released on 2014 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: After falling through the refrigerator into the Land of Fake Believe, Princess meets a girl named Moldylocks who takes her to the home of the Three Beards for chili--but when the Beards capture her friend, Princess must come up with a plan to save her.
Download or read book Princess for Hire written by Lindsey Leavitt and published by Disney Electronic Content. This book was released on 2011-05-04 with total page 256 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When Desi Bascomb gets discovered by the elite Façade Agency--royalty surrogates extraordinaire--her life goes from glamour-starved to spectacular in a blink. As her new agent Meredith explains, Desi has a rare magical ability: when she applies the ancient formula Royal Rouge, she can temporarily transform into the exact lookalike of any princess who needs her subbing services.
Download or read book Hatshepsut written by Ellen Galford and published by National Geographic Books. This book was released on 2007 with total page 68 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Biography of Hatshepsut's palace childhood and her adult life as Egypt's female pharaoh.
Download or read book From the Notebooks of a Middle School Princess written by Meg Cabot and published by Feiwel & Friends. This book was released on 2015-05-19 with total page 192 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Return to the world of Meg Cabot's bestselling and beloved Princess Diaries series in From the Notebooks of a Middle School Princess—this time through the illustrated diary of a spunky new heroine: Princess Mia's long lost half-sister, Olivia! Olivia Grace Clarisse Mignonette Harrison is a completely average twelve-year-old: average height, average weight, average brown hair of average length, average brown skin and average hazel eyes. The only things about her that aren't average are her name (too long and princess themed), her ability to draw animals (useful for her future career as a wildlife illustrator), and the fact that she is a half-orphan who has never met her father and is forced to live with her aunt and uncle (who treat her almost like their own kids, so she doesn't want to complain). Then one completely average day, everything goes wrong: the most popular girl in school, Annabelle Jenkins, threatens to beat her up, the principal gives her a demerit, and she's knocked down at the bus stop . . . Until a limo containing Princess Mia Thermopolis of Genovia pulls up to invite her to New York to finally meet her father, who promptly invites her to come live with him, Mia, Grandmère and her two fabulous poodles . . . . Maybe Olivia Grace Clarisse Mignonette Harrison isn't so average after all!
Download or read book The Princess Diaries Volume V Princess in Pink written by Meg Cabot and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2004 with total page 276 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: With the release of Disney's sequel to the Princess Diaries movie in August, the princess phenomenon will be in full swing in 2004. Girls will be overjoyed with this hilarious addition to their favorite series, which involves seven minutes in heaven, citywide strikes, and Mia's mission to get asked to the senior prom.
Download or read book The Princess and the Fog written by Anthony Lloyd Jones and published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers. This book was released on 2015-06-21 with total page 47 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Bronze Medal Winner in the Picture Books, Early Reader category of the 2015 Foreword Reviews' INDIEFAB Book of the Year Awards Once upon a time there was a Princess. She had everything a little girl could ever want, and she was happy. That is, until the fog came... The Princess and the Fog is picture book to help sufferers of depression aged 5-7 cope with their difficult feelings. It uses vibrant illustrations, a sense of humour and metaphor to create a relatable, enjoyable story that describes the symptoms of childhood depression while also providing hope that things can get better with a little help and support. The story is also a great starting point for explaining depression to all children, especially those who may have a parent or close family member with depression. With an essential guide for parents and carers by clinical paediatric psychologists, Dr Melinda Edwards MBE and Linda Bayliss, this book will be of immeasurable value to anyone supporting a child with, or affected by, depression, including social workers, psychologists, psychiatrists, counsellors, arts therapists, pastoral care workers and school staff, as well as parents and carers.
Download or read book Fresh Princess written by Denene Millner and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2019-04-02 with total page 36 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Based on The Fresh Prince created by Will Smith, Destiny is the Fresh Princess. Meet Destiny—a cool, energetic, and strong-willed young girl who approaches every day with her own signature style! That is, until she moves to a brand-new neighborhood, where nothing looks quite the same as it did at her old house. Even with new challenges and new friends to make, Destiny always has a plan. With a few reminders from her loving family and after remembering what being the Fresh Princess is all about, she may just take the leap and jump right in! Written by celebrated author, blogger, and editor Denene Millner and illustrated by Gladys Jose, Fresh Princess is the perfect book to encourage kids to proudly stand out and be themselves!
Download or read book The Constant Princess written by Philippa Gregory and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2006-09-06 with total page 432 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A fictional portrait of Henry VIII's first wife, Katherine of Aragon, follows her through her youthful marriage to Henry's older brother, Arthur, her widowhood, her marriage to Henry, and the divorce that led to Henry's marriage to Anne Boleyn.
Download or read book Santa s Beard written by Matilda Tristram and published by . This book was released on 2014 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Help Santa's Beard on a hilarious adventure to find the right face.It's summer and Santa's Beard is far too fluffy and warm on Santa's sweaty face. "Don't worry, Santa, I'll just find a new face," says his Beard, and off he flies straight on to ... the face of someone new! But neither the baby in the pram, the princess in her castle or the pirate at sea seem to want a beard. Will Santa's Beard ever find someone who wants him? In this completely hilarious novelty book illustrated in Nick Sharratt's bold and distinctive style, help guide Santa's Beard page by page on its adventure to find its rightful face.
Download or read book Victorians Undone written by Kathryn Hughes and published by JHU Press. This book was released on 2018-02 with total page 441 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In lively, accessible prose, Victorians Undone fills the space where the body ought to be, proposing new ways of thinking and writing about flesh in the nineteenth century.
Download or read book Princesses Wear Pants written by Savannah Guthrie and published by Abrams. This book was released on 2017-09-12 with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From NBC’s TODAY coanchor Savannah Guthrie and educator Allison Oppenheim comes an empowering fairy tale with a twist. In the tradition of Not All Princesses Dress in Pink and Princess in Black, Princesses Wear Pants follows the unflappable Princess Penelope Pineapple, who knows how to get the job done while staying true to herself. Princess Penelope lives in a beautiful palace with a closet full of beautiful dresses. But being a princess is much, much more than beauty. In fact, every morning Princess Penelope runs right past her frilly dresses to choose from her beloved collection of pants! What she wears each day depends on which job she has to do. Will she command the royal air force sporting her sequined flight suit? Will she find her zen in her yoga pants and favorite tee? Or, will she work in the kingdom’s vegetable garden with pocketed overalls for all of her tools? Unfortunately for Princess Penelope, not everyone in the Pineapple Kingdom thinks pants are always appropriate princess attire. When the grand Lady Busyboots demands that Princess Penelope must wear a gown to the annual Pineapple Ball, the young royal finds a clever way to express herself. Penelope’s courage (and style choices) result in her saving the day! In their debut children’s picture book, Savannah Guthrie and Allison Oppenheim team up for a savvy and imaginative story that celebrates fashion and girl power. Perfect for fans of Nickelodeon’s Nella the Princess Knight, Princesses Wear Pants challenges gender stereotypes in the name of individuality, showing girls it’s not how they look but what they do that matters.
Download or read book Don t Mess with a Princess written by Rachel Valentine and published by Penguin UK. This book was released on 2019-08-22 with total page 36 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An AWFUL OGRE is on the loose and threatening the kingdom! Can Thea, Juno and Leaf, three fiery princesses, save the day? (You bet they can - but who will save the ogre!?) There are surprises in store in this empowering, funny, roller-coaster ride of an adventure . . . It's Frozen meets Indiana Jones with energy-fuelled artwork from a highly talented debut picture book illustrator.
Download or read book The Princess Nun written by Gina Cogan and published by Harvard University Press. This book was released on 2014 with total page 344 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The first full-length biography of a premodern Japanese nun, The Princess Nun is the story of Bunchi (1619-1697), daughter of Emperor Go-Mizunoo and founder of Enshōji. The study incorporates issues of gender and social status into its discussion of Bunchi's ascetic practice to rewrite the history of Buddhist reform and Tokugawa religion.
Download or read book Priscilla the Princess of the Park written by Pat LaMarche and published by Priscilla. This book was released on 2023-02-19 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An endearing novel about five young children, a charismatic compassionate woman, and the perils of homelessness. As the children fall madly in love with Priscilla, they begin to wonder about the story of their mentor. The children's homes are filled with everyday drama and excitement. Priscilla teaches life lessons that help them cope and find joy - as well as a sense of community.
