Download or read book The Onion Presents Christmas Exposed written by The Onion Staff and published by Quirk Books. This book was released on 2011-10-25 with total page 148 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without impulse-priced holiday gift books—and now The Onion has unleashed its award-winning team of investigative journalists upon the genre. Christmas Exposed features more than one hundred shocking tales of Secret Santas, shopping mall mayhem, dysfunctional family dinners, and much, much more.
Download or read book The Onion Presents Christmas Exposed written by The Onion Staff and published by Quirk Books. This book was released on 2011-10-25 with total page 148 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 100+ funny Christmas stories about secret Santas, dysfunctional families, epic blizzards, and much more—all from the pages of America’s finest (satirical) news source. Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without impulse-priced holiday gift books—and now The Onion has unleashed its award-winning team of investigative journalists upon the genre. Featuring entertaining illustrations and over 100 shocking holiday stories, Christmas Exposed is the perfect gift book for smart alecks everywhere.
Download or read book Dispatches from the Tenth Circle written by Robert Siegel and published by Random House Digital, Inc.. This book was released on 2001 with total page 178 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "The Onion is laugh-out-loud, go-tell-your-friends, get-angry-you-didn't-think-of-it funny." -Conan O'Brien "Outside of maybe Dario Fo, an Italian who few are sure exists, the Onion people make the most consistently perfect and excoriating social commentary we currently have. But will those Nobel bastards honor them, too? Only God, our merciless and just God, knows." -Dave Eggers "The funniest publication in the United States." -The New Yorker "This publication is tasteless and destructive to our shared values. Read it for yourself and you'll see what I mean. Seriously, what else could make me laugh-much less laugh uproariously-while being offended week after week after week?" -Al Gore "The Onion is the funniest thing in news since Dan Rather's spooky stare." -Matt Groening "Brutal satire that rushes into the far reaches of race, class, sexuality, and culture where many publications-and critics-fear to tread." -Chicago Tribune "The Onion, unlike any other entity in our media culture, offers a refreshingly honest look at our complicated life." -Ken Burns
Download or read book Insults Every Man Should Know written by Nick Mamatas and published by Quirk Books. This book was released on 2011-11-01 with total page 148 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A pocket-sized gift book guide to the best hard-hitting insults for every occasion. This handy little book is packed with insulting gestures, backhanded compliments, comebacks, all the things you should never say about someone's mama, and much more! Including: • Insulting Someone’s Intelligence • Insulting Someone’s Sexual Prowess • Insults for the Office • Insults on Game Day • Insults throughout History • Insults from around the World
Download or read book Our Dumb Century written by Scott Dikkers and published by Crown. This book was released on 1999 with total page 178 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Onion has quickly become the world's most popular humor publication, misinforming half a million readers a week with one-of-a-kind social satire both in print (on newsstands nationwide) and online from its remote office in Madison, Wisconsin. Witness the march of history as Editor-in-Chief Scott Dikkers and The Onion's award-winning writing staff present the twentieth century like you've never seen it before.
Download or read book Eleven Pipers Piping written by C.C. Benison and published by Doubleday Canada. This book was released on 2012-10-30 with total page 466 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The annual Burns dinner at Thornford Regis is an occasion for bagpipes, haggis and scotch. It ends up an occasion for tragedy when Will Moir, one of the pipers, is found alone, in a tower, dead of an apparent heart attack. Father Tom Christmas, the vicar of the town, is privy to all of the secrets of its inhabitants, and is one of the first to find out that Will Moir was poisoned. The town's suspicions go in many directions, and Christmas soon learns secrets that have been kept for generations--illicit trysts, even murders--the ramifications of which may have fallen onto poor Will Moir. Brimming with wit, laced with genuine surprise and featuring one of the most memorable (and unlikely) detectives in the cozy genre today, Eleven Pipers Piping mines the rich history of a small town to solve its most stunning crime.
Download or read book Welcome to JesusLand written by Chris Harper and published by Grand Central Publishing. This book was released on 2008-07-15 with total page 280 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In the sacred and honorable tradition of The Onion comes a hilarious and outrageous collection of "church newsletters" that gleefully skewer America's religious right. The Godly ministers at Landover Baptist Church (Guaranteeing Salvation Since 1612!) have been sending out their newsletters for years, helping save those headed for damnation from falling into the devil's clutches. Making sure that no Christian is left behind, and that all non-believers burn in Hell, Pastor Deacon Fred and his band of merry white preachers share such righteous wisdom as "How children can win a Playstation 3 by accepting Jesus Christ as their personal savior" and "How to prevent Santa from turning Macy's into Neverland Ranch." Complete with Bible Quizzes, Sacrilegious Sidebars, and mug shots of America's damned, WELCOME TO JESUSLAND! is sure to become a classic of religious and political humor-while cleansing heathens from the Earth (or at least from those pesky Blue States).
Download or read book Recipes Every Man Should Know written by Susan Russo and published by Quirk Books. This book was released on 2011-05-18 with total page 148 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Make some real man food with this handy pocket-sized reference. We’re mixing bacon with brownies! We’re pouring beer into chili! We’re stirring up tomato gravy so thick and tasty, we refuse to call it sauce! This easy pocket-sized companion shows you how to make all the food a man can’t live without, including: · Hearty Breakfast Classics · Sandwiches, Burgers, and Snacks · Meat and Potato Dinners · Beer, Bacon, and Bar Food · Chocolate, Cheesecake, and More Plus a quick, no-frills guide to culinary rules and tools. We break it all down so you can cook like a master!
Download or read book The Onion Book of Known Knowledge written by The Onion and published by Little, Brown. This book was released on 2012-10-23 with total page 259 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Are you a witless cretin with no reason to live? Would you like to know more about every piece of knowledge ever? Do you have cash? Then congratulations, because just in time for the death of the print industry as we know it comes the final book ever published, and the only one you will ever need: The Onion's compendium of all things known. Replete with an astonishing assemblage of facts, illustrations, maps, charts, threats, blood, and additional fees to edify even the most simple-minded book-buyer, The Onion Book of Known Knowledge is packed with valuable information -- such as the life stages of an Aunt; places to kill one's self in Utica, New York; and the dimensions of a female bucket, or "pail." With hundreds of entries for all 27 letters of the alphabet, The Onion Book of Known Knowledge must be purchased immediately to avoid the sting of eternal ignorance.
Download or read book Quotes Every Man Should Know written by Nick Mamatas and published by Quirk Books. This book was released on 2013-08-13 with total page 146 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This pocket-size gift book is a thinking man's arsenal of quotes, quips, and comebacks filled with wit, insight, and genius. Perfect for the guy who knows everything and wants the words to match! This little book offers in-depth investigations into "who said what," counterquotes for common clichés, and tips for citing sayings without sounding stupid. Never be at a loss for words again! Includes quotes from: · Aristotle · Abraham Lincoln · Nelson Mandela · George Carlin · And more!
Download or read book The Onion Magazine written by The Onion and published by Little, Brown. This book was released on 2014-11-04 with total page 278 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From America's Finest News Source comes a compilation of the most important, most influential, and glossiest magazine covers ever produced by the hand of humankind. Seen by tens of billions worldwide, these are the unforgettable Onion Magazine covers that altered the course of human history and radically redefined your trivial life anew every weekend. Profound philosophical questions, the thoughts of leading cultural luminaries, harsh truths of existence, remorseless personal attacks -- you will encounter full-color graphical representations of all of these within this handsome volume. Whether you are a connoisseur of pretty pictures or are new to looking at images, The Onion Magazine: The Iconic Covers that Transformed an Undeserving World is sure to give you, the feebleminded consumer, far more pleasure than you have any earthly right to experience.
Download or read book The Trump Leaks written by The Editors of the Onion and published by Harper Design. This book was released on 2017-10-24 with total page 256 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Onion, the nation's sole beacon of truth in an era besieged by darkness and lies, has fearlessly published hundreds of classified documents obtained from an anonymous whistleblower deep within the Trump White House. From top secret national security briefings hand-colored in crayon by President Trump, to encrypted e-mails sent by Kremlin operatives, to Vice President Pence's impure thoughts about the Morton Salt girl, the earth-shattering revelations contained within The Trump Leaks are all but certain to topple the president and alter the very arc of global history. With this soon-to-be Pulitzer-winning work of investigative reportage, America's Finest News Source has selflessly provided the world with its first and only glimpse inside the hidden workings and tortured minds of the Trump Administration.
Download or read book Stuff Every Husband Should Know written by Eric San Juan and published by Quirk Books. This book was released on 2011-04-05 with total page 148 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: For newlyweds, happily married men, and every husband in between, this pocket-sized gift book is packed with tips and tricks for marriage. This attractive handbook is perfect for the married (or soon to be married!) man. Great for engagements, weddings, or anniversaries, this little black book includes chapters on all the things a guy can do to make a good husband, including: • How to Make Decisions • The Ten Commandments of Laundry • How to Hire Handymen • How Not to Fight over Money • Side with Your Wife, Not Your Mother
Download or read book Interpreter of Maladies written by Jhumpa Lahiri and published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. This book was released on 1999 with total page 195 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In nine stories imbued with the sensual details of Indian culture, Lahiri charts the emotional journeys of characters seeking love beyond the barriers of nations and generations.
Download or read book Evvie Drake Starts Over written by Linda Holmes and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 2019-06-25 with total page 400 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Read with Jenna Book Club Pick as Featured on Today • “Everything a romantic comedy should be: witty, relatable, and a little complicated.”—People A heartfelt debut about the unlikely relationship between a young woman who’s lost her husband and a major league pitcher who’s lost his game. NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY NPR In a sleepy seaside town in Maine, recently widowed Eveleth “Evvie” Drake rarely leaves her large, painfully empty house nearly a year after her husband’s death in a car crash. Everyone in town, even her best friend, Andy, thinks grief keeps her locked inside, and Evvie doesn’t correct them. Meanwhile, in New York City, Dean Tenney, former Major League pitcher and Andy’s childhood best friend, is wrestling with what miserable athletes living out their worst nightmares call the “yips”: he can’t throw straight anymore, and, even worse, he can’t figure out why. As the media storm heats up, an invitation from Andy to stay in Maine seems like the perfect chance to hit the reset button on Dean’s future. When he moves into an apartment at the back of Evvie’s house, the two make a deal: Dean won’t ask about Evvie’s late husband, and Evvie won’t ask about Dean’s baseball career. Rules, though, have a funny way of being broken—and what starts as an unexpected friendship soon turns into something more. To move forward, Evvie and Dean will have to reckon with their pasts—the friendships they’ve damaged, the secrets they’ve kept—but in life, as in baseball, there’s always a chance—up until the last out. A joyful, hilarious, and hope-filled debut, Evvie Drake Starts Over will have you cheering for the two most unlikely comebacks of the year—and will leave you wanting more from Linda Holmes. Praise for Evvie Drake Starts Over “A quirky, sweet, and splendid story of a woman coming into her own.”—Taylor Jenkins Reid, New York Times bestselling author of Daisy Jones & The Six “Effortlessly enjoyable . . . [a] pitch-perfect . . . adult love story that is as romantic as it is real.”–USA Today “Charming, hopeful, and gently romantic . . . Evvie Drake is great company.”—Rainbow Rowell, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Eleanor & Park
Download or read book Our Dumb World written by The Onion, Inc. and published by Little, Brown. This book was released on 2008-10-27 with total page 256 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: OUR DUMB WORLD is the world's most comprehensive fake atlas: a repository of all known information about the planet Earth (except where covered by clouds). In late 2007 the hardcover edition became one of the hottest books of the holiday season, entertaining and offending hundreds of thousands of readers around the globe. This new, easy-to-carry paperback edition is perfect for the intrepid traveler to any of the world's exotic locales--from Afghanistan, "Allah's Cat Box," to Ukraine, "the Bridebasket of Europe," to the USA's own Nevada, "Where Everyone's a Loser." Packed with beautiful full-color maps and framed with inaccurate essays about all the world's peoples and places, OUR DUMB WORLD is a gut-busting send-up in which no nation escapes unscathed. "Bottom line: laughed my head off." --Deirdre Donahue, USA Today
Download or read book Trump s America written by Scott Dikkers and published by Micro Publishing Media, INC. This book was released on 2016-04-15 with total page 170 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This book is important, and not just because it's about Donald Trump. It is essential reading for anyone who wants to discover the official Trump Brand Origin Story, to learn his positions on vital issues like the military—“Are These the Biggest Missiles We Have?", science— “If Einstein Was So Smart, Why Wasn't He Rich?" and good government—“ Of the Good People, By the Good People, and For the Good People”. Through hilarious stories, photo mashups, official documents, and future newspaper clippings, readers will experience life under the leadership of President Trump. This is the road map every citizen needs to thrive and survive in a "Trumpocalypse."Remember, it will be Trump’s America, but you have to live in it.
