Download or read book The Onion Presents A Book of Jean s Own written by Jean Teasdale and published by St. Martin's Griffin. This book was released on 2010-10-12 with total page 272 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A few words from the author and eponymous columnist behind The Onion's column, "A Room of Jean's Own," Jean Teasdale: Hi Jeanketeers and Jeanketeers-to-be!! As The Onion's very own Humor and Human-Interest columnist, I've been entertaining readers for 15 years with kooky tales of life with my hubby and our two feline children. Now for the first time, li'l ol' me shines front-and-center in a book of my very own! A Book of Jean's Own! features all-original, never-before-published material, and if that wasn't impressive enough, marks the very first Onion book by a solo writer! Historical, huh? My book is sure to find an eager audience among The Onion's ten-million-strong readership. Wait, ten million people? I had no idea! Frankly, that scares me a little. We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto! (Oh shoot, I should have put that hilarious phrase in my book!) A Book of Jean's Own! also marks a departure from past Onion books in that it isn't crammed with headlines and articles in teeny-weeny print! Instead, I write about the stuff that really matters: shopping, chocolate, part-time jobs, and hot Hollywood hunks! Whether you read my book on the bus, the beach, or the toilet, you're guaranteed to find something to chuckle at and deeply relate to! Among the many nuggets of fun: * I tell you the Twenty Things That Are Better Than Sex! * For the first time ever, you learn my maiden name! * I spill the secrets of my scrumptious chocolate-loaded desserts, such as Ooey Gooey Choco-Cocoa-Mocha Cupcakes With Raspberry Filling And Coconut-Cream Cheese-Cola Frosting! * Acquire valuable, real-world tips on coping with a job you dislike, getting through those rough teenage years, and styling a Jean hairdo of your very own! * Get a giggle out of my doodles and overdose on the words of wisdom that are my Jean Proverbs! * You've heard of pity parties—get my tips for throwing your very own self-pity party! * Check out my own cure for the blues, the Plush Jamboree! * Witness my nervous breakdown while writing this book (well, writing is hard, after all!) * Also for the first time ever, Hubby Rick speaks! (Spoiler: It's not entirely in grunts!) * Lots of exclamation points! (And phrases in parentheses!) I'm sure every single one of those ten million readers will buy my book! And who knows? They just may find something in it that will help them lead happier and better lives!
Download or read book The Onion Girl written by Charles de Lint and published by Macmillan. This book was released on 2002-08-03 with total page 512 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Charles de Lint's stunning new novel of magic and danger in the modern world.
Download or read book Onion John written by Joseph Krumgold and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 1984-04-04 with total page 260 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The story of a friendship between a 12-year-old boy and an immigrant handyman, almost wrecked by the good intentions of the townspeople.
Download or read book Our Dumb Century written by Scott Dikkers and published by Crown Archetype. This book was released on 2007-09-25 with total page 178 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The staff of The Onion presents a satirical collection of mock headlines and news stories, including an account of the Pentagon's development of an A-bomb-resistant desk for schoolchildren.
Download or read book Once Upon a Marigold written by Jean Ferris and published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. This book was released on 2004 with total page 292 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this witty spoof of fairy tales, Christian, a commoner, falls for Princess Marigold, and it's up to him to untwist an odd love triangle and foil a scheming queen who wants to take over the kingdom.
Download or read book Who Asked You written by Terry McMillan and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2015-08-04 with total page 466 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Trinetta drops off her two young boys with her mother, Betty Jean - and then pulls a disappearing act. BJ is a sassy, pull-no-punches, trademark McMillan matriarch, and she already has her hands full picking up the slack for her other kids, coaching her best friend Tammy through her own tribulations and dealing with two feuding sisters, all while holding down a job as a hotel maid. Who Asked You? raises questions about how we care for one another and how we set limits for those we love when the demands are too great.
Download or read book The Sharper Your Knife the Less You Cry written by Kathleen Flinn and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2008-09-02 with total page 308 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "...engaging, intelligent, and surprisingly suspenseful." —Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love The unforgettable New York Times best-selling journey of self-discovery and finding one's true calling in life Kathleen Flinn was a thirty-six-year-old middle manager trapped on the corporate ladder - until her boss eliminated her job. Instead of sulking, she took the opportunity to check out of the rat race for good - cashing in her savings, moving to Paris, and landing a spot at the venerable Le Cordon Blue cooking school. The Sharper Your Knife, the Less You Cry is the funny and inspiring account of her struggle in a stew of hot-tempered, chefs, competitive classmates, her own "wretchedly inadequate" French - and how she mastered the basics of French cuisine. Filled with rich, sensual details of her time in the kitchen - the ingredients, cooking techniques, wine, and more than two dozen recipes - and the vibrant sights and sounds of the markets, shops, and avenues of Paris, it is also a journey of self-discovery, transformation, and, ultimately, love.
Download or read book The Onion Book of Known Knowledge written by The Onion and published by Little, Brown. This book was released on 2012-10-23 with total page 259 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Are you a witless cretin with no reason to live? Would you like to know more about every piece of knowledge ever? Do you have cash? Then congratulations, because just in time for the death of the print industry as we know it comes the final book ever published, and the only one you will ever need: The Onion's compendium of all things known. Replete with an astonishing assemblage of facts, illustrations, maps, charts, threats, blood, and additional fees to edify even the most simple-minded book-buyer, The Onion Book of Known Knowledge is packed with valuable information -- such as the life stages of an Aunt; places to kill one's self in Utica, New York; and the dimensions of a female bucket, or "pail." With hundreds of entries for all 27 letters of the alphabet, The Onion Book of Known Knowledge must be purchased immediately to avoid the sting of eternal ignorance.
Download or read book In God We Trust written by Jean Shepherd and published by Crown. This book was released on 2010-10-27 with total page 274 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A collection of humorous and nostalgic Americana stories—the beloved, bestselling classics that inspired the movie A Christmas Story Before Garrison Keillor and Spalding Gray there was Jean Shepherd: a master monologist and writer who spun the materials of his all-American childhood into immensely resonant—and utterly hilarious—works of comic art. In God We Trust: All Others Pay Cash represents one of the peaks of his achievement, a compound of irony, affection, and perfect detail that speaks across generations. In God We Trust, Shepherd's wildly witty reunion with his Indiana hometown, disproves the adage “You can never go back.” Bending the ear of Flick, his childhood-buddy-turned-bartender, Shepherd recalls passionately his genuine Red Ryder BB gun, confesses adolescent failure in the arms of Junie Jo Prewitt, and relives a story of man against fish that not even Hemingway could rival. From pop art to the World's Fair, Shepherd's subjects speak with a universal irony and are deeply and unabashedly grounded in American Midwestern life, together rendering a wonderfully nostalgic impression of a more innocent era when life was good, fun was clean, and station wagons roamed the earth. A comic genius who bridged the gap between James Thurber and David Sedaris, Shepherd may have accomplished for Holden, Indiana, what Mark Twain did for Hannibal, Missouri.
Download or read book Anatole written by Eve Titus and published by Knopf Books for Young Readers. This book was released on 2006-11-14 with total page 34 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Anatole is a most honorable mouse. When he realizes that humans are upset by mice sampling their leftovers, he is shocked! He must provide for his beloved family--but he is determined to find a way to earn his supper. And so he heads for the tasting room at the Duvall Cheese Factory. On each cheese, he leaves a small note--"good," "not so good," "needs orange peel"--and signs his name. When workers at the Duvall factory find his notes in the morning, they are perplexed--but they realize that this mysterious Anatole has an exceptional palate and take his advice. Soon Duvall is making the best cheese in all of Paris! They would like to give Anatole a reward--if only they could find him...
Download or read book Thoughts Without A Thinker written by Mark Epstein and published by Basic Books. This book was released on 2013-07-30 with total page 272 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Blending the lessons of psychotherapy with Buddhist teachings, Mark Epstein offers a revolutionary understanding of what constitutes a healthy emotional life The line between psychology and spirituality has blurred, as clinicians, their patients, and religious seekers explore new perspectives on the self. A landmark contribution to the field of psychoanalysis, Thoughts Without a Thinker describes the unique psychological contributions offered by the teachings of Buddhism. Drawing upon his own experiences as a psychotherapist and meditator, New York-based psychiatrist Mark Epstein lays out the path to meditation-inspired healing, and offers a revolutionary new understanding of what constitutes a healthy emotional life.
Download or read book The Flavor Matrix written by James Briscione and published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. This book was released on 2018 with total page 327 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: One of Smithsonian Magazine's Ten Best Food Books of the Year A revolutionary new guide to pairing ingredients, based on a famous chef's groundbreaking research into the chemical basis of flavor As an instructor at one of the world's top culinary schools, James Briscione thought he knew how to mix and match ingredients. Then he met IBM Watson. Working with the supercomputer to turn big data into delicious recipes, Briscione realized that he (like most chefs) knew next to nothing about why different foods taste good together. That epiphany launched him on a quest to understand the molecular basis of flavor--and it led, in time, to The Flavor Matrix. A groundbreaking ingredient-pairing guide, The Flavor Matrix shows how science can unlock unheard-of possibilities for combining foods into astonishingly inventive dishes. Briscione distills chemical analyses of different ingredients into easy-to-use infographics, and presents mind-blowing recipes that he's created with them. The result of intensive research and incredible creativity in the kitchen, The Flavor Matrix is a must-have for home cooks and professional chefs alike: the only flavor-pairing manual anyone will ever need.
Download or read book The Winter of Frankie Machine written by Don Winslow and published by Vintage Crime/Black Lizard. This book was released on 2006-09-26 with total page 321 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: FROM THE BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF THE CARTEL. Frankie Machianno, a hard-working entrepreneur, passionate lover, part-time surf bum, and full-time dad, is a pillar of his waterfront community—and a retired hit man. Once better known as Frankie Machine, he was a brutally efficient killer. Now someone from his past wants him dead, and after a botched attempt on his life, Frankie sets out to find his potential killers. However, the list of suspects is longer than the California coastline. With the mob on his heels and the cops on his tail, Frankie hatches a plan to protect his family, save his life, and escape the mob forever. Then things get really complicated.
Download or read book Midnight Sun written by Stephenie Meyer and published by Little, Brown Books for Young Readers. This book was released on 2020-08-04 with total page 727 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: #1 bestselling author Stephenie Meyer makes a triumphant return to the world of Twilight with this highly anticipated companion: the iconic love story of Bella and Edward told from the vampire's point of view. When Edward Cullen and Bella Swan met in Twilight, an iconic love story was born. But until now, fans have heard only Bella's side of the story. At last, readers can experience Edward's version in the long-awaited companion novel, Midnight Sun. This unforgettable tale as told through Edward's eyes takes on a new and decidedly dark twist. Meeting Bella is both the most unnerving and intriguing event he has experienced in all his years as a vampire. As we learn more fascinating details about Edward's past and the complexity of his inner thoughts, we understand why this is the defining struggle of his life. How can he justify following his heart if it means leading Bella into danger? In Midnight Sun, Stephenie Meyer transports us back to a world that has captivated millions of readers and brings us an epic novel about the profound pleasures and devastating consequences of immortal love. An instant #1 New York Times BestsellerAn instant #1 USA Today BestsellerAn instant #1 Wall Street Journal BestsellerAn instant #1 IndieBound BestsellerApple Audiobook August Must-Listens Pick "People do not want to just read Meyer's books; they want to climb inside them and live there." -- Time "A literary phenomenon." -- New York Times
Download or read book The Onion Presents Homeland Insecurity written by Scott Dikkers and published by Random House Digital, Inc.. This book was released on 2006 with total page 322 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Hot off the reprint presses! Onion fans hear this! Homeland Insecurity is the largest collection of award-winning journalism from America's Finest News Source ever released, and that means you must buy it! Featuring every brilliantly biting article printed in The Onion between November 2004 and December 2005, a time in our country's history ripe for further examination by America's Finest News Source, Homeland Insecurity collects all the news reporting you were too lazy to read when it first appeared, now delivered in a handy single volume that will fit perfectly on the bookshelf of your dorm, ward, or cell. Homeland Insecurity is Volume 17 in the always bestselling and always entertaining Onion series. The Onion is the world's most popular humor publication, with more than 3.8 million weekly visitors to its website (theonion.com) and a print circulation of more than 500,000. More than a million copies of its various books have been sold to date, beginning with Our Dumb Century, which was a #1 New York Times bestseller and winner of the Thurber Prize for American Humor.
Download or read book Everyday Novelli written by Jean-Christophe Novelli and published by Headline Book Publishing. This book was released on 2007 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Over 100 mouth-watering recipes to savour and share.
Download or read book Music and the Renaissance written by Philippe Vendrix and published by Routledge. This book was released on 2017-07-05 with total page 700 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This volume unites a collection of articles which illustrate brilliantly the complexity of European cultural history in the Renaissance. On the one hand, scholars of this period were inspired by classical narratives on the sublime effects of music and, on the other hand, were affected by the profound religious upheavals which destroyed the unity of Western Christianity and, in so doing, opened up new avenues in the world of music. These articles offer as broad a vision as possible of the ways of thinking about music which developed in the fifteenth and sixteenth centuries.
