Download or read book The Musician s Joke Book written by Jim Green and published by Omnibus Press. This book was released on 2010-06-07 with total page 132 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A side-splitting selection of one-liners, comic definitions, yarns and witty quotes from the world of music. Most professions have their own jokes, but musicians seem to have more than their fair share. Perhaps it's the insane travel schedule, the bad lodgings or just lack of sleep. But as Jim Green says in his introduction, "...it's not surprising we're a band apart (so to speak), outcasts who seek only our own company, rubbing two jokes together for warmth and trying to feel superior by sneering at one another's abilities and personalities." So maybe the reason musicians love poking fun at one another is nothing more than getting in first before everyone else does. Or perhaps choosing laughter is the only alternative to despair... Anyway, here is a truly great selection of jokes, quotes and stories from the world's second oldest profession. Enjoy! Q: What is the definition of perfect pitch in a piccolo? A: When you throw it in the toilet and it doesn't hit the rim. Q: What do you throw a drowning lead guitarist? A: His amp. Q: Why was the clarinetist staring at the orange juice bottle? A: Because the label said "concentrate." "I don’t know anything about music. In my line you don't have to." Elvis Presley

Download or read book The Musicians Joke Book written by Jim Green and published by Amsco Music. This book was released on 2005 with total page 127 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Most professions have their own jokes, but musicians seem to have more than their fair share. Perhaps it's the insane travel schedule, the bad lodgings or just lack of sleep. But as Jim Green says in his introduction, "it's not surprising we're a band apart (so to speak), outcasts who seek only our own company, rubbing two jokes together for warmth and trying to feel superior by sneering at one another's abilities and personalities."So maybe the reason musicians love poking fun at one another may be nothing more than getting in first before everyone else does. Or perhaps choosing laughter is the only alternative to despair...

Download or read book The Musician s Ultimate Joke Book written by Kevin M. Mitchell and published by . This book was released on 2004 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Humour.

Download or read book The Musician s Joke Book Knowing the Score written by N. J. Groce and published by Omnibus Press. This book was released on 1996-10-15 with total page 110 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The authoritative collection of music jokes, covering classical, pop, jazz, and folk, including everything from the truly stupid to the musically complex joke.

Download or read book Music Jokes written by Johnny B. Laughing and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2016-06-20 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Funny Jokes About Music! Are you looking for the most funny and hilarious music jokes online? Do you want to dominate joke battles and be the funniest person around? This joke book will make you giggle for hours with some of the funniest jokes about music and musicians in the world. Including 100+ jokes! The Joke King is back with another hilarious joke book full of funny, laugh-out-loud, crazy comedy about music and musicians. These jokes are for children of all ages, teens, and adults. This joke book contains a ton of laugh out loud jokes! WARNING: You will laugh a lot! From this Funny Joke Book... Q: How is a heart like a musician? A: They both have a beat! HAHA! Q: What do you get if you cross a lamp with a violin? A: You get light music. LOL! Q: Why did they arrest the musician? A: He got into treble. HAHA! Q: How do you know if there is a drummer at your door? A: The knocking always speeds up. LOL! Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get away from the bagpipe recital. HAHA! Q: What's the difference between an onion and an accordion? A: No-one cries when you chop up an accordion. Funny and hilarious music and musician jokes! Your musician friends might not think these jokes are that funny, but you will be rolling on the floor laughing. This collection of musical jokes is one of the funniest collections in the world! These jokes about music and musicians will make everyone giggle and erupt with laughter. This joke book is excellent for kids, children, teens, and adults. Johnny B. Laughing is the online comedy king! Scroll up and click 'buy' to start laughing today!

Download or read book Lives of the Musicians written by Kathleen Krull and published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. This book was released on 1993 with total page 108 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: What are musicians really like?

Download or read book The Great Rock N Roll Joke Book written by Dave Marsh and published by Macmillan. This book was released on 1997-09-15 with total page 116 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: How do you get a guitarist to stop playing? Put sheet music in front of him. What do you call guys that hang out with musicians? Drummers. Here it is the dirty, the absurd, the witty side of rock and roll as it turns 50. The love of young America's music in its purest form: The Joke.

Download or read book The Big Liszt of Music Jokes written by F. Adams and published by . This book was released on 2017-10-29 with total page 168 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Most professions have their own in-jokes but musicians, given to arrogance, pretension, bad housing, lack of sleep and far too much travelling, seem to have an *especially* large back-catalogue.Most music humour is self-deprecating, well perhaps not so much *self* deprecating as abusing other musicians who have committed the unforgivable folly of choosing a different instrument or genre.This book is a collection of well over 600 one liners, humorous lists and definitions spanning classical, rock, folk, jazz, country **and** western, mocking over 50 instruments and their players along the way. Not content with mocking musicians this book mocks drummers too.

Download or read book Musical Laughs written by Patricia H. Wheeler and published by . This book was released on 2021-06-10 with total page 222 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Scores and scores of musical jokes for everyone from athletes to zoologists. "Throughout her lifelong love of music, Pat Wheeler has lived up to her motto, 'No Fun without Music, No Music without Fun.' To that extent, she has compiled a plethora of musical jokes and anecdotes that will delight, surprise, shock and perhaps even appall her readers-but never bore them! Anyone who understands the humorous side of music making will be entertained for hours." -Art Himmelberger (Percussion), Past-President of the Association of Concert Bands; Recipient of Kappa Kappa Psi's Distinguished Service to Music Medal Award; Director of Music, Marist College, Poughkeepsie, NY

Download or read book Infinitum written by Tim Fielder and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2021-01-19 with total page 291 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Afrofuturism, a movement that began in the Black community during the early 20th Century as an escape from racial hostility, economic turmoil, and aggressive policing, is enjoying a renaissance witnessed by the record-breaking success of creative projects, including the Oscar-winning Marvel Studios film, Black Panther; Regina King’s Emmy-winning HBO superhero tale, Watchmen; Janelle Monae’s hit album, Dirty Computer; Jordan Peele’s provocative feature Get Out; Octavia Butler’s famed science fiction novel, Kindred; and Beyonce’s visual album Black Is King. Now comes Afrofuturist Tim Fielder’s beautifully written and rendered INFINITUM. In INFINITUM, King Aja Ọba and Queen Lewa are revered across the African continent for their impressive political and military skills. Yet the future of their kingdom is in jeopardy, for the royal couple do not have an heir of their own. When the King kidnaps his son born to a concubine, Obinrin, she curses Ọba with the “gift” of immortality. After enjoying long, wonderful lives both, Queen Lewa and the crown prince die naturally, leaving the ageless bereaved King Ọba heartbroken and alone. Taking advantage of Ọba’s vulnerability, enemy nations rise to power and kill the king – or so they think. King Aja Ọba survives the fatal attack, finally realizing the bitter fruit of Obinrin’s curse. For millennia, the immortal Ọba wanders the earth, mourning his lost subjects and searching for a new kingdom. His journey leads him across time, allowing him to witness the trans-Atlantic slave trade, the New World, and the American Civil Rights Movement. The expansion of global technology brings about intergalactic travel, first contact with an alien species, and conflicts within and ultimately outside the known universe. Thrust into these seminal events, Ọba, now known by many as “John,” faces harrowing decisions that will determine mankind’s physical and spiritual trajectory. In 280 plus stunningly emotional and evocative full-color images, INFINITUM presents a unique cosmic experience, addressing issues of racism, classism, gender inequity, the encroachment of technology and the spiritual cost of war, while exposing the history behind ancient mysteries.

Download or read book The Musicians Joke Book No 1 written by Michael Gillette and published by Surrey, B.C. : New Media Video Concepts. This book was released on 1996 with total page 40 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book The Silliest Joke Book Ever written by and published by Penguin UK. This book was released on 2003-09-04 with total page 106 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A hilariously funny book containing hundreds of jokes on every subject under the sun, as well as the favourite jokes of famous celebrities. All royalties will be going to the Jeans for Genes Appeal in association with Great Ormond Street Children's Hospital. The appeal funds research into genetic disorders in children. A Jeans for Genes Day is held every year when people are invited to wear their jeans for a £1 donation.

Download or read book Killing Joke written by Jyrki Hämäläinen and published by . This book was released on 2020 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The complete story of the post-punk originators Killing Joke. From squats of London to chart topping singles and recording in the Great Pyramid of Giza. New insight into the band's ground breaking, genre-defining albums with exclusive interviews from past and present band members, the producers including Grammy Award winning, Hugh Padgham, journalists, record label executives, film makers and contemporaries such as Public Image Limited. Interviews from the graphic artists give insight to the visual aspect of the musical geniuses. With over 20 interviewees the book gives unique insight to the band that influenced everyone from Nirvana to Metallica.

Download or read book The JOKE written by Milan Kundera and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 1993-02-26 with total page 340 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: All too often, this brilliant novel of thwarted love and revenge miscarried has been read for its political implications. Now, a quarter century after The Joke was first published and several years after the collapse of the Soviet-imposed Czechoslovak regime, it becomes easier to put such implications into perspective in favor of valuing the book (and all Kundera 's work) as what it truly is: great, stirring literature that sheds new light on the eternal themes of human existence. The present edition provides English-language readers an important further means toward revaluation of The Joke. For reasons he describes in his Author's Note, Milan Kundera devoted much time to creating (with the assistance of his American publisher-editor) a completely revised translation that reflects his original as closely as any translation possibly can: reflects it in its fidelity not only to the words and syntax but also to the characteristic dictions and tonalities of the novel's narrators. The result is nothing less than the restoration of a classic.

Download or read book The Best Musicians Jokes written by Bruno Kassel and published by Mel Bay Publications. This book was released on 2010-10-07 with total page 113 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Contains more than 400 hilarious jokes about all musicians' and their respective genres; foreword written by the famous drummer Pete York.

Download or read book The Funniest Joke Book Ever written by Editors of Portable Press and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2016-05-01 with total page 90 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Over 500 giggles, groans, and belly laughs! Kids can’t resist sharing jokes (even you try to stop them), so they always need a fresh supply. We’ve stuffed the pages of this little joke book with the funniest jokes we could find. Old favorites, new favorites, and a few festering stinkers, all guaranteed to make kids laugh out loud. You’ll find Q&A jokes, knock-knock jokes, riddles, and one-liners. And, of course, we’ve included entire chapters of those all-time kid-pleasers: elephant jokes, pirate jokes, and space jokes. Here’s a sampling: What's black and white, black and white, black and white? A penguin rolling down a hill. Why don’t zombies eat clowns? They taste funny. Why did the hen scold her chicks? They were using fowl language. What kind of books do skunks read? Best-smellers! How does Darth Vader like his toast? On the dark side. . . . and many more!

Download or read book The Best Ever Book of Musician Jokes written by Mark Geoffrey Young and published by CreateSpace. This book was released on 2012-07-16 with total page 106 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you've ever heard a Jewish, Italian, Irish, Libyan, Catholic, Mexican, Polish, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Musician jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Musician Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Musician Jokes is so unoriginal, it's original. And, if you don't burst out laughing from at least one Musician joke in this book, there's something wrong with you. This book has so many Musician jokes, you won't know where to start. For example: Why do Musicians wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured a Musician and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn't die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Musician brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! *** Did you hear about the Musician who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: "Put on two coats." *** Why do Musicians laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it. ***