Download or read book The Last Girlfriend on Earth written by Simon Rich and published by Profile Books. This book was released on 2013-01-31 with total page 135 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: It doesn't matter if you're a caveman, a time traveller or a regular person. Sooner or later, someone's going to break your heart. The sketches in Simon Rich's new book are bizarre, funny, and - if you've ever been in love - all too familiar. From the invisible man stalking his ex, to Sherlock Holmes' only blind spot, The Last Girlfriend on Earth is always enchanting, often sweet, though occasionally awkward. Just like love itself. 'The Last Girlfriend On Earthis silly, surreal, sometimes sad and always laugh-out-loud funny. This collection will have you giggling/crying/squirming in recognition, and wondering what exactly Simon Rich has eaten to dream all this stuff up ... pulls off the tough trick of being both heart-warming and hilarious - it's a must-read if you've ever so much as had a crush on someone' Heat 'Pithy, occasionally bonkers' Time Out 'Truly hilarious' Eva Wiseman, Observer

Download or read book Ant Farm written by Simon Rich and published by Random House. This book was released on 2009-11-11 with total page 162 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In Ant Farm, former Harvard Lampoon president Simon Rich finds humor in some very surprising places. Armed with a sharp eye for the absurd and an overwhelming sense of doom, Rich explores the ridiculousness of our everyday lives. The world, he concludes, is a hopelessly terrifying place–with endless comic potential. –If your girlfriend gives you some “love coupons” and then breaks up with you, are the coupons still valid? –What kind of performance pressure does an endangered male panda feel when his captors bring the last remaining female panda to his cage? –If murderers can get into heaven by accepting Jesus, just how awkward is it when they run into their victims? Join Simon Rich as he explores the extraordinary and hilarious desperation that resides in ordinary life, from cradle to grave. "Hilarious." –Jon Stewart

Download or read book The Last Girl on Earth written by Alexandra Blogier and published by Delacorte Press. This book was released on 2018-01-23 with total page 257 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Fans of The 5th Wave will devour this heart-pounding sci-fi novel about a girl with a secret: on a near-future Earth taken over by aliens, she is the only human left alive. “A celebration of what it means to be human.” —Katharine McGee, New York Times bestselling author of The Thousandth Floor RAISED AMONG THEM. Li has a father and a sister who love her. A best friend, Mirabae, to share things with. She goes to school and hangs out at the beach and carefully follows the rules. She has to. Everyone she knows--her family, her teachers, her friends--is an alien. And she is the only human left on Earth. A SECRET THAT COULD END HER LIFE. The Abdoloreans hijacked the planet sixteen years ago, destroying all human life. Li's human-sympathizer father took her in as a baby and has trained her to pass as one of them. The Abdoloreans appear human. But they don't think with human minds or feel with human hearts. And they have special abilities no human could ever have. FIT IN OR DIE. When Li meets Ryn, she's swept up in a relationship that could have disastrous consequences. How far will Li go to stay alive? Will she save herself--and in turn, the human race--or will she be the final witness to humanity's destruction?

Download or read book The One Year Book of Inspiration for Girlfriends written by Ellen Miller and published by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.. This book was released on 2010-10-05 with total page 386 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you’re living a perfect, charmed life . . . well, then this book isn’t for you. But if, like the rest of us, you are at times broken, confused, lonely, or scared—if you’re struggling with problems that you think “good Christians” don’t have—then welcome, girlfriend, and pull up a chair! This quirky, friendly, and gut-honest devotional comes straight from the heart of Ellen Miller (CEO, marketing executive, mom, and unapologetic “glorious mess”). Despite the serious struggles she’s faced, Ellen today lives a life of profound joy, and The One Year Book of Inspiration for Girlfriends contains 365 days’ worth of the principles and philosophies that have gotten her there. There’s no subject she’s afraid to tackle! Her quick, daily doses of encouragement will make you laugh, give you something to look forward to, help you to stay (somewhat!) sane . . . and remind you that you’re never alone.

Download or read book Life as We Knew it written by Susan Beth Pfeffer and published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. This book was released on 2008 with total page 324 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: I guess I always felt even if the world came to an end, McDonald's still would be open. High school sophomore Miranda's disbelief turns to fear in a split second when an asteroid knocks the moon closer to Earth, like "one marble hits another." The result is catastrophic. How can her family prepare for the future when worldwide tsunamis are wiping out the coasts, earthquakes are rocking the continents, and volcanic ash is blocking out the sun? As August turns dark and wintery in northeastern Pennsylvania, Miranda, her two brothers, and their mother retreat to the unexpected safe haven of their sunroom, where they subsist on stockpiled food and limited water in the warmth of a wood-burning stove. Told in a year's worth of journal entries, this heart-pounding story chronicles Miranda's struggle to hold on to the most important resource of all--hope--in an increasingly desperate and unfamiliar world. An extraordinary series debut Susan Beth Pfeffer has written several companion novels to Life As We Knew It, including The Dead and the Gone, This World We Live In, and The Shade of the Moon.

Download or read book Earth Star written by Janet Edwards and published by Pyr. This book was released on 2014-04-15 with total page 287 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Romance, science fiction, action, and a look at the false assumptions we make about others combine in this light-hearted, fun, and well-conceived science fiction future. Only She Can Save the World. Eighteen-year-old Jarra has a lot to prove. After being awarded one of the military’s highest honors for her role in a daring rescue attempt, she finds herself—and her Ape status—in the spotlight. Jarra is one of the unlucky few born with an immune system that cannot survive on other planets. Derided as an “ape”—a “throwback”—by the rest of the universe, she is on a mission to prove that Earth Girls are just as good as anyone else. Except now the planet she loves is under threat by what could be humanity’s first ever alien contact. Jarra’s bravery—and specialist knowledge—will once again be at the center of the maelstrom, but will the rest of the universe consider Earth worth fighting for? From the Hardcover edition.

Download or read book The Last Boy and Girl in the World written by Siobhan Vivian and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2017-02-28 with total page 432 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Originally published in hardcover in 2016 by Simon & Schuster BFYR.

Download or read book The Last Lover written by Can Xue and published by Yale University Press. This book was released on 2014-07-01 with total page 330 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: divIn Can Xue’s extraordinary book, we encounter a full assemblage of husbands, wives, and lovers. Entwined in complicated, often tortuous relationships, these characters step into each other’s fantasies, carrying on conversations that are “forever guessing games.” Their journeys reveal the deepest realms of human desire, figured in Can Xue’s vision of snakes and wasps, crows, cats, mice, earthquakes, and landslides. In dive bars and twisted city streets, on deserts and snowcapped mountains, the author creates an extreme world where every character “is driving death away with a singular performance.” Who is the last lover? The novel is bursting with vividly drawn characters. Among them are Joe, sales manager of a clothing company in an unnamed Western country, and his wife, Maria, who conducts mystical experiments with the household’s cats and rosebushes. Joe’s customer Reagan is having an affair with Ida, a worker at his rubber plantation, while clothing-store owner Vincent runs away from his wife in pursuit of a woman in black who disappears over and over again. By the novel’s end, we have accompanied these characters on a long march, a naive, helpless, and forsaken search for love, because there are just some things that can’t be stopped—or helped./DIV

Download or read book We All Looked Up written by Tommy Wallach and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2015-03-24 with total page 384 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The lives of four high school seniors intersect weeks before a meteor is set to pass through Earth's orbit, with a 66.6% chance of striking and destroying all life on the planet. Simultaneous eBook.

Download or read book Spoiled Brats including the story that inspired the major motion picture An American Pickle starring Seth Rogen written by Simon Rich and published by Hachette UK. This book was released on 2014-10-14 with total page 224 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The "hilarious" (New York Times Book Review) collection of short stories from the award-winning humorist Simon Rich includes the story that inspired the Seth Rogen comedy An American Pickle. Twenty years ago, Barney the Dinosaur told the nation's children they were special. We're still paying the price. From "one of the funniest writers in America" comes a collection of stories culled from the front lines of the millennial culture wars (Jimmy So, Daily Beast). Rife with failing rock bands, student loans, and participation trophies, Spoiled Brats is about a generation of narcissists -- and the well-meaning boomers who made them that way. A hardworking immigrant is preserved for a century in pickle brine. A helicopter mom strives to educate her demon son. And a family of hamsters struggles to survive in a private-school homeroom. Surreal, shrewd, and surprisingly warm, these stories are as resonant as they are hilarious.

Download or read book Golden Girl written by Elin Hilderbrand and published by Little, Brown. This book was released on 2021-06-01 with total page 384 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this #1 bestselling page-turner from "the queen of beach reads" (New York Magazine), a Nantucket novelist has one final summer to protect her secrets while her loved ones on earth learn to live without their golden girl. On a perfect June day, Vivian Howe, author of thirteen beach novels and mother of three nearly grown children, is killed in a hit-and-run car accident while jogging near her home on Nantucket. She ascends to the Beyond where she's assigned to a Person named Martha, who allows Vivi to watch what happens below for one last summer. Vivi also is granted three “nudges” to change the outcome of events on earth, and with her daughter Willa on her third miscarriage, Carson partying until all hours, and Leo currently “off again” with his high-maintenance girlfriend, she’ll have to think carefully where to use them. From the Beyond, Vivi watches “The Chief” Ed Kapenash investigate her death, but her greatest worry is her final book, which contains a secret from her own youth that could be disastrous for her reputation. But when hidden truths come to light, Vivi’s family will have to sort out their past and present mistakes—with or without a nudge of help from above—while Vivi finally lets them grow without her. With all of Elin’s trademark beach scenes, mouth-watering meals, and picture-perfect homes, plus a heartfelt message—the people we lose never really leave us—Golden Girl is a beach book unlike any other.

Download or read book Road Tripped written by Pete Hautman and published by Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers. This book was released on 2019-05-14 with total page 336 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this captivating story about loss, love, and changing your ways, National Book Award­–winning author Pete Hautman imbues the classic road trip novel with clever wit and heartfelt musings about life and death. Steven Gerald Gabel—a.k.a. Stiggy—needs to get out of Minnesota. His father recently look his own life, his mother is a shell of the person she used to be, and his sort-of-girlfriend ghosted him and skipped town. What does he have left to stick around for? Armed with his mom’s credit card and a tourist map of Great River Road, Stiggy sets off in his dad’s car. The only problem is, life on his own isn’t exactly what he expected and, soon enough, he finds himself at a crossroads: keep running from his demons, or let them hitch a ride back home with him.

Download or read book Girlfriend in a Coma written by Douglas Coupland and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2011-06-14 with total page 328 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: On a snowy Friday night in 1979, just hours after making love for the first time, Richard's girlfriend, high school senior Karen Ann McNeil, falls into a coma. Nine months later she gives birth to their daughter, Megan. As Karen sleeps through the next seventeen years, Richard and their circle of friends reside in an emotional purgatory, passing through a variety of careers—modeling, film special effects, medicine, demolition—before finally reuniting on a conspiracy-driven super-natural television series. But real life grows as surreal as their TV show as Richard and his friends await Karen's reawakening . . . and the subsequent apocalypse.

Download or read book Girlfriends Ghosts and Other Stories written by Robert Walser and published by New York Review of Books. This book was released on 2016-09-13 with total page 289 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Girlfriends, Ghosts, and Other Stories brings together eighty-one brief texts spanning Robert Walser’s career, from pieces conceived amid his early triumphs to later works written at a psychiatric clinic in Bern. Many were published in the feuilleton sections of newspapers during Walser’s life; others were jotted down on slips of paper and all but forgotten. They are strung together like consciousness, idiosyncratic and vulnerable, genuine in their irony, wistful in their humor. Some dwell on childish or transient topics—carousels, the latest hairstyles, an ekphrasis of the illustrations in a picture book—others on the grand themes of nature, art, and love. But they remain conversational, almost lighter than air. Every emotion ventured takes on the weight of a sincerity that is imperiled as soon as it comes into contact with the outside world, which retains all of the novelty it had in childhood—and all of the danger.

Download or read book Confessions of a Vampire s Girlfriend written by Katie Maxwell and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2010-11-02 with total page 258 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: More information to be announced soon on this forthcoming title from Penguin USA.

Download or read book The Last Girlfriend on Earth written by Simon Rich and published by Reagan Arthur Books. This book was released on 2013-01-22 with total page 224 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In "Center of the Universe," God struggles to balance the demands of his career with the needs of his long-term girlfriend. In "Magical Mr. Goat," a young girl's imaginary friend yearns to become "more than friends." In "Unprotected," an unused prophylactic recalls his years spent trapped inside a teen boy's wallet. The stories in Simon Rich's new book are bizarre, funny, and yet...relatable. Rich explores love's many complications-losing it, finding it, breaking it, and making it-and turns the ordinary into the absurd. With razor-sharp humor and illustrations, and just in time for Valentine's Day, Rich takes readers for an exhilarating, hilarious ride on the rollercoaster of love.

Download or read book Hits and Misses written by Simon Rich and published by Serpent's Tail. This book was released on 2018-07-26 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: WINNER OF THE 2019 THURBER PRIZE FOR AMERICAN HUMOR 'Genius ... Who could ask for more? You can give his books to people and just watch them laugh. Only after you've snorted through them yourself, though' Evening Standard From a bitter tell-all by a horse who made a man famous and then got left behind to a gushing magazine profile of one of your favorite World War II dictators, these stories trawl through history to skewer our obsession with fame and fortune - all the way from ancient Babylon to Hollywood. What father-to-be wouldn't feel a little jealous when his baby outstrips his success from the womb? And what happens when a film critic is forced to live in the movies he so cruelly damned? Loved in the UK by celebs, writers and readers alike, from Lauren Laverne to Matt Haig and Caitlin Moran, Simon Rich is back with his funniest and most personal collection of stories to date.