Download or read book The Island of Broken Biscuits written by Peter Goulding and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2017-07-04 with total page 306 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In the Waterways Department of the Irish Government, an employee discovers that his last four Hobnobs have been stolen. At approximately the same time, twenty miles away, twenty three packets of Rich Tea biscuits have been lifted from a supermarket in Ashbourne. This is unprecedented in Irish and, indeed, world history. Chief Inspector Jacobs, who had helped to solve the infamous Chocolate Digestive theft of 1994, is summoned to solve the crime before the social order crumbles. Can Jacobs wrap up the case and drag Ireland back from the brink of anarchy? How do they get the figs into the fig rolls? And what is the lighthouse thing about? The Island of Broken Biscuits is a comic novel set over five days. It holds the World Record for mentions of Custard Creams (55) and has been rejected by many, many publishers.
Download or read book Bosoms bared poems to read poolside written by Peter Goulding and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2013-08-29 with total page 111 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The 125 poems contained in this collection were written on sunbeds on five different sun holidays and are about the experience of going on a sun holiday. They are intended to be read while on a sun holiday. Of course you can read it over the Christmas holidays if you prefer, or on the bus into work. Your call. Some of the poems are funny, some are reflective, some stray into the area of black humour. Most of them are crap. That's life.
Download or read book The arse end of the year written by Peter Goulding and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2018-03-08 with total page 160 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A look at the season of Christmas and winter through the medium of light verse, 'The Arse End of the Year' chronicles the build up to the festive season, the solstice, the day itself and the post-Christmas slothfulness, together with aspects of the cold and dreary winter season so beloved by, well, not many people actually. From the reindeer shaped blips on the air traffic controllers' screen, to the disappearing cheese portions; from forgetting auld acquaintance to the difficulty of burying dead bodies in frosty weather, Peter Goulding gives us a uniquely personal insight into the season in his inimitable style, not that many people would want to imitate it.
Download or read book Dining with Milton and Bunyan and other comic verse written by Peter Goulding and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2018-02-08 with total page 164 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Peter Goulding's fourth, or maybe fifth, (who's counting?) book of comic verse again delves the murky depths of the poet's imagination. There are still plenty of poems about murdering his wife and disposing of her body but there are darker poems too - the proliferation of tomatoes on Jupiter, the birth of Princess Charlotte and his critiques of the counties of Tipperary and Offaly, to name but four. His mind, which, to be frank, would be put to much better use, learning a trade or simply vegetating, is again employed solving many of the world's problems in rhyming couplets, villanelles and other fiendish weapons of mass destruction. Comes with a cultural health warning.
Download or read book My gal got eaten by a grizzly bear and other uplifting poems of the Wild Wild West written by Peter Goulding and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2015-10-15 with total page 114 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: It is a very rare publication that features an author who has absolutely no knowledge of the subject about which he is writing. From his safe suburban armchair in Dublin, Ireland, Peter Goulding has watched countless westerns featuring square-jawed heroes who have battled impossible odds to defeat injuns, outlaws and stampeding cattle. Based on these films and to the abject horror of the literary community, he has written numerous poems of questionable merit about life in the wild west (and indeed in the wild, wild west) and has decided to publish them in this slim volume. From botched gunfights to piles, from eating horses to losing children, this book of vaguely comic vignettes describes a side to the wild west (and indeed the wild, wild west) that probably never existed outside of the author's head.
Download or read book My Magic Islands written by Judith M. Brady and published by Xlibris Corporation. This book was released on 2014-03-13 with total page 67 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Judith grew up with family on the islands and Brisbane. Adult life took her around the world to experience living in Lae, New Guinea, Manila capital of the Philippines, Jakarta capital of Indonesia, and in the United Kingdom for six months. Retirement has brought her back to her islands enabling this memento of history to be recorded.
Download or read book Broken Biscuits written by Liz Kettle and published by . This book was released on 2007 with total page 237 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Agnes is senile; her granddaughter Jodie is an oddball. But how did they get that way? With a hurtling plot that moves between Jodiers"s life going forwards and Agnesrs"s life going backwards, welcome to the dark, hilarious world of the mad. Agnes is so far gone that shers"s been carted off and institutionalised. She was a liability with her steaming-hot flat, squashed flies and lifetime collection of sugar lumps and toenail clippings. As her memories play back marriages, wars, affairs and an Edinburgh childhood with seven brothers and sisters - there are plenty of things in her life that she really should say sorry for. Jodiers"s got her own problems shers"s eccentric, the sort of person that people cross the road to avoid. With advice from Dr Hassani and support worker June, she tries really hard to get care in the community to work and to make new friends. Trouble is she just doesnrs"t fit in. And now shers"s decided to spring Agnes from the old peoplers"s home with the help of willing accomplice Owen - a moody yo-yo himself. Funny, grim yet ultimately uplifting, this is a dark saga of family history and secrets, and a seaside love story of two misfits who find love in a hostile world.
Download or read book Broken Biscuits written by Liz Kettle and published by . This book was released on 2007-01 with total page 305 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Agnes is senile and her granddaughter Jodie is an oddball. But how did they get that way? This is a dark saga of family history and secrets, and a seaside love story of two misfits who find love in a hostile world.
Download or read book The Island written by and published by . This book was released on 1979 with total page 78 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book The Keys to the Street written by Ruth Rendell and published by Crown. This book was released on 2011-09-07 with total page 320 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From Edgar Award-winning author Ruth Rendell, quiet, pretty Mary Jago could never have suspected that a series of unspeakable murders in the park contained threads that tangled around her simple, ordinary life. Set near London's Regent's Park, where the city's wealthiest, poorest, kindest, and most vicious citizens all cross paths, The Keys to the Street reminds us how interconnected life can be and how we're often surrounded by people that we fail to see. Mary generously donates her bone marrow to save the life of a young man she doesn't know, which will change her life forever. It leads to her bitter break up with Alistair and then to a relationship with the young man whose life she saved, Leo Nash. But when the homeless who seek refuge in the park start turning up murdered and impaled on the spiked railings that surround it, Mary is closer to danger than she ever could have imagined.
Download or read book Wacky Eire written by Geraldine Comiskey and published by Liberties Press. This book was released on 2012-09-01 with total page 232 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Welcome to Wacky Eire - it's stranger than fiction. Imagine RTÝ's Nationwide crossed with the cult series Eurotrash, or BBC's Country File mixed with Father Ted . . . Now imagine it as a book of true stories, written by an insider who has travelled the length and breadth of Ireland seeking out the weird, the wacky, the raunchy and the downright shocking . . . this is Wacky Eire. In this hilarious account on modern Irish life, Sunday World journalist Geraldine Comiskey takes the reader on an outrageous romp through the real Ireland - where ancient traditions and modern obsessions make lively bedfellows and where people will constantly surprise you. From naughty farmers, animal antics and dodgy faith-healers to secret swingers and strippers, from scandalous exposés to charming vignettes of rural life, Wacky Eire is the naked face of modern Ireland.
Download or read book Rifled Sanctuaries written by Bill Pearson and published by Auckland University Press. This book was released on 2013-11-01 with total page 96 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Pacific Islands began to appear in Western literature soon after European navigators made landfall there. From the first, there was seldom a statement of plain facts. Explorers brought their own viewpoints while editors, poets and novelists went on to interpret and moralise the first accounts. Portraying Pacific peoples as sensual, indolent, childlike and &– frequently &– wicked, such stories implied the duty of Europeans to rule and of the natives to be grateful. Modified though it sometimes was by the more accepting attitudes of beachcombers, by the exploitative activities of traders, and throgh the romantic eyes of erotic novelists, this conception of Pacific Islanders persisted through the nineteenth century and well into the twentieth.
Download or read book Family Recollections of Lieut General E W Durnford etc written by Mary DURNFORD and published by . This book was released on 1863 with total page 274 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book Candy and the Broken Biscuits Candypop Book 1 written by Lauren Laverne and published by HarperCollins UK. This book was released on 2010-05-27 with total page 272 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A fabulously funny Rock Chick -lit series for teens from uber-cool celeb Lauren Laverne. Tune in for a hyper-real rollercoaster ride to Glasto and beyond!
Download or read book The Wonder of Woolies written by Derek Phillips and published by Andrews UK Limited. This book was released on 2016-08-10 with total page 226 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Do you remember Melba chocolate, spud guns, Embassy records, pick 'n' mix, broken biscuits, Homemaker china, Californian Poppy perfume, and Ladybird children's clothes? Then you will love the book that brings these, and many other memories, flooding back. The Wonder of Woolies is a celebration of that great British store - Woolworth's - in the words of people who worked and shopped there. In addition to memories from every corner of Britain, the book describes the rise of the '3d and 6d store' king, Frank Winfield Woolworth, and some of the dramatic events that marked Woolworth's history, such as the bombing of the Deptford store in 1944.
Download or read book The Old Stag written by Henry Williamson and published by . This book was released on 1927 with total page 370 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
