Download or read book All Hat No Horse written by Willy Clement and published by Argenta Press. This book was released on 2012-10-25 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Howdy pard'ner! You might think us cowboys to be serious folk, but after a hard day's work there ain't nothin' better than relaxin' by the fire with a sarsaparilla and havin' a good laugh. And believe me when I tell you a cowboy could tell you a million stories that would have you splitting your sides. I took some time to scribble some of them jokes down for y'all, and I hope you enjoy them. Some of 'em are even true! Like the time this young whipper snapper was twirlin' his gun about and flappin' his chin about how tough he was and that if that famous outlaw was right beside him now he would shoot him dead between the eyes. Well, wouldn't you know it, that tough, old outlaw happened to show up, and that little greenhorn dang near peed his pants. If you like that, I got way more fer ya! If 'n there's one thing we cowboys love to talk about and have plenty to say on, it's the critters. We probably spend more time around them beasts than people. Horses especially, and they can impart wisdom to your life. Ya know what? A horse ain't trying to be polite when he comes to a fence and allows you to go over first! And when we ain't got no more stories, the classic one-liner always keeps us laughing. Try these: What's the nearest thing to silver? The Lone Ranger's bum. Why did the cowboy sleep with his saddle on? In case he caught any nightMARES! And my favorite (cause it's true): What's the last thing you hear before a cowboy dies? "Hey y'all! Watch this!"

Download or read book Cowboy Practical Jokes written by Robert M. Miller and published by . This book was released on 2015-11-02 with total page 136 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The American cowboy is an icon recognized all over the world. There is, however, an aspect to the lifestyle that's rarely mentioned, which is a proclivity for practical jokes. Isolated ranch life, long hours, and the boredom that occurs at day's end serve as fodder for ingenious and diabolical pranks. This book celebrates the cowboy sense of humor and memorable highjinks from author/cartoonist Dr. Robert M. Miller's own days as a wrangler, as well as those of his colleagues.

Download or read book Metal Cowboy written by Joe Kurmaskie and published by Three Rivers Press (CA). This book was released on 2002 with total page 338 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This heartwarming collection of true stories reveals the thrill and the freedom of traveling America's back roads on a bicycle, and the joy of discovering unforgettable characters along the way.From the moment he borrowed his big sister's banana-seat bike and careened down the neighborhood hill at the age of five, Joe Kurmaskie has known the intoxicating freedom and power of the bicycle. In this big-hearted collection of stories, Joe -- dubbed the Metal Cowboy by a blind rancher he encountered one icy morning in Idaho -- tells of his whimsical, wild adventures through the American landscape.

Download or read book The Cowgirl s Guide to Life written by Gladiola Montana and published by Gibbs Smith. This book was released on 2019-03-05 with total page 488 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Straight talk from the lassoin’ lady—from knowing the best time to hold your tongue to using the right bait when you’re fishing for compliments. This sassy cowgirl and her sidekick cowboy partner capture the feminine perspective on life. This common-sense wisdom in humorous form is all about living and loving. Women will laugh about it—from the boardroom to the suburban book club. Gems include: “It is better to be a widower’s second wife than his first.” “If you’re fixin’ to get yourself a good stallion, don’t go lookin’ in the donkey corral.” “High steppers give bumpy rides.” “If you’ve done it, it ain’t braggin’.” “Always say ‘please’ when you tell somebody to shut up.”

Download or read book How to Be a Cowboy written by Jim Arndt and published by Gibbs Smith. This book was released on 2009-10-01 with total page 225 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Explore every facet of being a cowboy with essays and colorful photos in this guide from the author of Buckaroo Boots and Art of the Buckle. How to be a Cowboy is a compendium of knowledge and insight, wit and wisdom, and all-around resource for every aspect of cowboy life. It includes the least you need to know about ranching, rodeoing, cooking, music, dancing, yodeling, lingo (like “dude,” “bronc,” and “hoss”), cowboy poetry, hats, boots (like boot history and how to choose a pair for yourself), spurs, shirts, horses, hats, buckles, denim, and also how to walk like a cowboy. Discover the top twenty cowboy movies and top western novels. You’ll even find advice from cowboy icon Will Rogers. “It’s the rich color camerawork that really compels, and Arndt’s classy shots of elaborately designed boots, shirts, blue jeans and hats, plus peripheral cowboy gear, are enough to make a guy chuck the 9-to-5 and head out to the wild, wild West.”—Martin Brady, BookPage

Download or read book Tall Tales of the Wild West written by Eric Ode and published by Meadowbrook. This book was released on 2007-06-26 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A collection of funny tall tales featuring cowboys, cowgirls, and other characters from the Wild West.

Download or read book Cowboys Are My Weakness Stories written by Pam Houston and published by W. W. Norton & Company. This book was released on 2011-02-14 with total page 180 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Exhilarating, like a swift ride through river rapids with a spunky, sexy gal handling the oars."—Washington Post Book World In Pam Houston's critically acclaimed collection of strong, shrewd, and very funny stories, we meet smart women who are looking for the love of a good man, and men who are wild and hard to pin down. "I've always had this thing for cowboys, maybe because I was born in New Jersey,” says the narrator in the collection’s title story. “But a real cowboy is hard to find these days, even in the West.” Our heroines are part daredevil, part philosopher, all acute observers of the nuances of modern romance. They go where their cowboys go, they meet cowboys who don't look the part – and they have staunch friends who give them advice when the going gets rough. Cowboys Are My Weakness is a refreshing and realistic look at men and women – together and apart.

Download or read book The Cowboy Wally Show written by Kyle Baker and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2016-03-14 with total page 130 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: IT'S A ROOTIN', TOOTIN', RAUCOUS RIOT OF SHOW BIZ REVELRY! STAY TOONED FOR THE COWBOY WALLY SHOW! Television legend, star of stage and screen, and a successful entrepreneur. Not to mention a fat, obnoxious, beer-swilling loudmouth.of questionable morals and taste. Yes, it's Cowboy Wally, star of 8 time Eisner Award-winning creator Kyle Baker's groundbreaking first graphic novel, so sit down for a wild look at at the ins and outs of the craziest rodeo on Earth: THE ENTERTAINENT INDUSTRY! Follow the career of television and film's most outrageous figure, a man willing to stuff unscrupulous, unwholesome and downright unhealthy diversions down the throat of an all-too-eager audience. Witness "Sands of Blood," his French Foreign Legion spectacle and tapestry of rampaging historical inaccuracy! See the timeless work of the Bard mercilessly violated in the unthinkable 20-minute, rewritten, bargain basement version of Shakespeare's "Hamlet!" Stare slack-jawed at the blasphemy of "A Cowboy Wally Christmas!" There's all that and more in THE COWBOY WALLY SHOW, straight from the twisted mind of EISNER, and HARVEY AWARD WINNER and New York Times Bestselling writer-illustrator Kyle Baker (WHY I HATE SATURN, YOU ARE HERE, KING DAVID). "Kyle's artwork spoils the reader with accessibility and fun - while his writing challenges, teases, and tickles their intellect. He is without debate the best in the graphic novel business. The absolute best. Aaron McGruder, cartoonist, THE BOONDOCKS"

Download or read book Going Cowboy Crazy written by Katie Lane and published by Forever. This book was released on 2011-05-01 with total page 227 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: USA Today bestselling author Katie Lane welcomes you to the small town of Bramble, where you will fall in love with "handsome cowboys with hearts as big as Texas" (Lori Wilde, New York Times bestselling author). Faith Aldridge wants answers. Bramble, Texas is the only place she can find them . . . as well as Hope, the identical twin sister she never knew she had. But the townsfolk reckon that shy city-girl Faith is really her long-lost sister Hope, back in Bramble at last. And they're fixin' to do whatever it takes to heat things up between her and Hope's long-time flame, Slate Calhoun. If that means rustling her car, spreading rumors like wildfire, and reining in some explosive secrets, well, there's no way like the Lone Star way . . . But Slate's no fool. The woman in his truck may look like Hope, yet the way she feels in his arms is altogether new. He's determined to keep this twin in his bed and out of his heart. Trouble is, the real Hope is headed home, and she's got her own designs on Slate. If Faith wants to avoid heartbreak, she'll have to show a certain ruggedly handsome cowboy that this crazy-impossible love is worth fighting for.

Download or read book Cowboy in My Pocket written by Kate Douglas and published by Beyond The Page. This book was released on 2012-04-09 with total page 165 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you like your cowboys sexy, your heroines forgetful and your marriages convenient, this gentle parody of cowboy romances will leave you with a smile on your face and a sigh on your lips. Discover romantic comedy at its best in this captivating tale of a woman who finds her one true love and the cowboy hero afraid to give his heart. Michelle Garrison is a prolific romance writer whose career is suddenly on a downslide. Her plots are boring, her writing is stale and her readers are fleeing for greener pastures. Desperate to revive her career, Michelle sets out to write a bestseller, and who could make a more worthy hero than a cowboy. Force-marched to a dude ranch by her editor, Michelle soon finds herself trudging along a mountain road with no memory of who she is or where she's going, but thanks to the quintessential sexy cowboy hero, Michelle is saved. Swept up in her cowboy's arms, even Michelle can see the parody in her own story: "Everything she'd read about cowboys must be true, she thought, almost hysterically. No wonder they made such popular heroes in romances." This is a revised author’s cut reissue—Cowboy in My Pocket was originally published by Hard Shell Word Factory in 2001 "Kate Douglas bills her romance as a 'gentle parody of contemporary category romance' but in doing so creates a delightful love story that proves there's a good reason why certain plot devices become cliches—they really work on an emotional level . . . the author might have thought she was poking fun, but the romance reader has the last laugh with this sparkling romantic comedy!" —Gerry Benninger for Romantic Times Magazine

Download or read book A Cowboy Never Lies 2 written by Dan Burnett and published by . This book was released on 1999 with total page 204 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The adventures continue in this second collection of funny short stories about the author's experiences as a professional rodeo rider and working cowboy.

Download or read book Pretty Good Joke Book written by Garrison Keillor and published by Blackstone Publishing. This book was released on 2021-08-10 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Over 2,200 Jokes from America’s favorite live radio show A treasury of hilarity from Garrison Keillor and the cast of public radio’s A Prairie Home Companion. A guy walks into a bar. Eight Canada Geese walk into a bar. A termite jumps up on the bar and asks, “Where is the bar tender?” Drum roll. The Sixth Edition of the perennially popular Pretty Good Joke Book is everything the first five were and more. More puns, one-liners, light bulb jokes, knock-knock jokes, and third-grader jokes (have you heard the one about Elvis Parsley?). More religion jokes, political jokes, lawyer jokes, blonde jokes, and jokes in questionable taste (Why did the urologist lose his license? He got in trouble with his peers). More jokes about chickens, relationships, and senior moments (the nice thing about Alzheimer’s is you can enjoy the same jokes again and again). It all started back in 1996, when A Prairie Home Companion fans laughed themselves silly during the first Joke Show. The broadcast was such a hit that it became an almost-annual gagfest. Then fans wanted to read the jokes, share them, and pass them around, and the first Pretty Good Joke Book was born. With over 200 new and updated jokes, the latest edition promises countless giggles, chortles, and guffaws anyone—fans of the radio show or not—will enjoy.

Download or read book The Feminist and the Cowboy written by Alisa Valdes and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2013-01-03 with total page 305 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The bestselling author of The Dirty Girls Social Club returns with an engrossing memoir about how falling in love with a sexy cowboy turned her feminist beliefs upside down. Feminism was a religion in Alisa Valdes’s childhood home. Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinem took the place of Barbies and left Valdes impressed with a feminist ideology that guided a prolific writing career—at twenty-two Valdes was named one of the top feminist writers under thirty by the editor of Ms Magazine. Yet despite her professional success, Valdes hit forty-two a single mom and a serial dater of inadequate men in tweed jackets—until she met the Cowboy. A conservative rancher, the Cowboy held the traditional views on gender roles that Valdes was raised to reject. Yet as she falls head-over-spurs for him and their relationship finds harmony, she finds the strength, peace, and happiness that comes from embracing her femininity. From their first date the Cowboy makes her pulse race, and she discovers that “when men… act like men rather than like emasculated boys, you as a woman will find not only great pleasure in submitting to them but also great growth as a person.” Told with plenty of humor and candor, The Feminist and the Cowboy will delight the many readers who made The Pioneer Woman a bestseller—not to mention every woman who dreams of being swept away by a rugged cowboy.

Download or read book Cowboy Life written by George Philip and published by South Dakota State Historical Society. This book was released on 2007 with total page 565 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Rattlesnakes and ornery horses, the dreaded Texas Itch, midnight rambles in graveyards, trips to Mexico, and hard riding on the last open range: George Philip recounts all these adventures and more with wit and humour. George Phillip arrived in South Dakota from Scotland in 1899. For the next four years, he rode as a cowboy for his uncle's L-7 cattle outfit during the heyday of the last open range. But the cowboy era was a brief one, and in 1903 Philip turned in his string of horses and hung up his saddle to enter law school in Michigan. In these candid letters, Philip provides fascinating insights into the development of the West and of South Dakota. His writing details the cowboy's day-to-day work, from branding and roping to navigating across the palins by stars and buttes, as the great open ranges slowly closed up.

Download or read book Humor Drama of Early Texas written by George Hubbard and published by Taylor Trade Publications. This book was released on 2002-11-30 with total page 305 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This large collection of historical vignettes focuses on the human interest aspects of the people and events of frontier Texas.

Download or read book Cowboy Songs Jokes Lingo n Lore written by Wayne Erbsen and published by Native Ground Books & Music. This book was released on 1995 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Oozing with old-time cowboy wisdom and advice, this handy book combines 30 classic cowboy songs of the Wild West, along with historic photographs and drawings, cowboy insults and one-liners. Fans of the Old West are treated to such vital information as Cowboy Poetry, Camp Cook Rules, a Recipe for Cowboy Coffee, and 33 uses for a Neck Scarf! The perfect companion to the recording "Cowboy Songs of the Wild Frontier."

Download or read book Cowboy Wisdom written by Gerd De Ley and published by Hatherleigh Press. This book was released on 2019-03-26 with total page 57 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An inspiring collection of over 200 favorite quotations about the Old West. From Roy Rogers to Will Rogers, Gene Autry to John Wayne, cowboys have always been a part of America. Now, Cowboy Wisdom collects over 200 essential quotes from history, myth and culture about the defining era of the Wild West, including humor, wise words, and powerful quotations. Cowboy Wisdom is great for the lover of the cowboy days, western movies, and Americana. Cowboy Wisdom presents a carefully curated collection of fun, ribald, and classic quotes celebrating the spirit of the days gone by.