Download or read book The Funniest People in Comedy 250 Anecdotes written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2015-03-25 with total page 112 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Paperback edition. This book is one-half of my previous book "The Funniest People in Comedy and Relationships: 500 Anecdotes." This book contains 250 anecdotes about comedians, including this one: When Jack Benny was ill, he had to get shots in his backside twice a week. His nurse gave him his shots in alternate cheeks, but sometimes she had trouble remembering which cheek should receive the next shot. So finally Mr. Benny walked into the doctor's office, dropped his pants, and on one cheek was printed "Tues" and on the other, "Thurs."
Download or read book The Funniest People in Comedy and Relationships written by David Bruce and published by . This book was released on 2006 with total page 202 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book The Funniest People in Comedy and Relationships 500 Anecdotes written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2006-09-01 with total page 214 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This book contains such anecdotes as these: 1) In his Answer Man column, film critic Roger Ebert answered a question by Matt Sandler about who was the world's most beautiful woman by saying that she was Indian actress Aishwarya Rai. In a later Answer Man column, a reader stated that Mr. Ebert should have answered the question by saying, "My wife." However, Mr. Ebert had a good reason for not answering the question that way: "Matt Sandler asked about women, not goddesses." 2) To advertise its Razzles candy, Mars Candy decided to use a Cleveland, Ohio, show in which comedian Ron Sweed, aka The Ghoul, hosted several mostly bad horror movies. The Ghoul criticized the candy for weeks, and the more he criticized it, the more its sales went up. In gratitude, Mars Candy delivered a case of Razzles to The Ghoul. The case of candy remained on the set of The Ghoul's show for year--unopened.
Download or read book Jason and the Argonauts A Retelling in Prose of Apollonius of Rhodes Argonautica written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2014-10-23 with total page 172 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book William Shakespeare s 1 Henry VI aka Henry VI Part 1 A Retelling in Prose written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on with total page 164 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book The Funniest People in Sports and Neighborhoods written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2006-11 with total page 239 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This book contains such anecdotes as these: 1) Bob Zuppke coached the football Illini for years. In a discussion of football rules, someone described a play and asked whether the officials had made the right call. Before answering, however, Mr. Zuppke asked, "Which team made the foul-Illinois or the other one?" 2) At a Westminster Dog Show in Madison Square Garden, a woman was selling an expensive coat made for dogs. Saying "We want her dog to look as smart as madame," the saleslady held up a pink cocktail coat made out of embroidered silk with a lining of mohair. Sportswriter Robert Lipsyte asked her, "When would a dog wear that?" The saleslady replied, "After five o'clock." 3) Shannon Martin was six years old when she won an age-12-and-under roping contest, for which she was written up in the "Roping Sports News." Because she hadn't learned to read yet, she kept saying to her father, "Come on, Dad. Read it again."
Download or read book The Coolest People in Comedy written by David Bruce and published by . This book was released on 2022-09-13 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This is a short, quick, and easy read. Most of these anecdotes are probably just OK (humor is hard!), but there should be at least one or two that you will want to tell your friends. This book contains 250 anecdotes, including these: Starting out as a stand-up comedian can be tough. Dallas comedian Sherry Belle remembers getting laughs her first time on stage; unfortunately, the audience was laughing at all the wrong places. For example, she finished a joke, but the audience didn't laugh, so she said, "That was the punch line." That made the audience laugh. - While working at Darmstadt, Rudolf Bing knew a comedian who was completely bald, but had three wigs with different lengths of hair. The comedian would wear the short-haired wig for a while, then the medium-haired wig. When he finally put on the long-haired wig, he would tell everyone he needed a haircut. Whenever the comedian began to wear the short-haired wig again, everyone complimented him on his haircut. - Between 1935 and 1940, Buster Keaton was making films in foreign countries. Movies had sound then, so he recorded the movies in various languages, learning a sentence in one language and recording it, and then learning that sentence in another language and recording it, and so on. For one movie, he recorded the dialogue in French and in Spanish, and he did OK. But his German language instructor noticed a problem with his German: "Oh, I understand him very well, only he's speaking with a French-Spanish accent." - As a boy, W.C. Fields had a unique way of peddling newspapers. He juggled the folded newspapers, and he yelled out teasers about the stories inside the newspapers. However, he ignored regular news stories and instead boosted unusual stories, such as "Bronislaw Gimp acquires license for two-year-old sheepdog. Details on page 26."
Download or read book William Shakespeare s The Comedy of Errors A Retelling in Prose written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2014-09-08 with total page 101 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book The Funniest People in Families written by David Bruce and published by . This book was released on 2022-09-24 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This is a short, quick, and easy read. Some samples: 1) Just after the end of World War II, while country comedian Archie Campbell was still an enlisted man in the United States Navy, he hadn't seen his wife for a long time, so he asked Lieutenant Sam Bailey if a way could be arranged for him to see her. Therefore, Lieutenant Bailey asked Mr. Campbell to take an apparatus to Florida to have it repaired--of course, Mr. Campbell had his wife meet him in Florida. At the repair shop, Mr. Campbell asked how long it would take to have the apparatus repaired, and the technician assured him that it would be repaired by the very next day. This was bad news for Mr. Campbell and his wife, so he explained the situation to the technician, saying, "I haven't seen my wife in over a year. Take longer than that." The technician replied, "In that case, it will take at least a week." 2) One Christmas, Pope John XXIII went to a children's hospital to visit the patients. One child, Silvio Colagrande, had been blind, but could now see because a dying priest, Don Gnocchi, had willed his eyes to Silvio and the corneas had been transplanted. Upon seeing the Pope, Silvio called out, "I see you with Don Gnocchi's eyes." Another child, seven-year-old Carmine Gemma, had recently become blind as the result of an attack of meningitis. He told Pope John XXIII, "You're the Pope, I know, but I can't see you." The Pope held Carmine's hands for a while, then he murmured, "We are all blind, sometimes." 3) Anne Sexton once wrote a volume of poetry titled Love Poems. One poem was intended to be titled "Twenty-One Days Without You" because her career required her to spend that amount of time away from her husband. However, the title had to be changed to "Eighteen Days Without You" after her husband said to her, "I can't stand it any longer; you haven't been with me for days."
Download or read book The Funniest People Who Live Life written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2015-09-28 with total page 84 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Print edition. This book contains 250 anecdotes, including these: 1) Like other satirists, Mort Sahl is angry and he wants other people to be angry. (Certainly we have enough things to be angry about, and getting angry about them may result in change.) He once advised, "You know what I want you to do? I want you to blow out the candles and curse the darkness." Mr. Sahl was a good friend of jazz musician Paul Desmond, a sax player. Mr. Sahl once gave Mr. Desmond a cigarette lighter inscribed, "To the sound from the fury." 2) Comedian Pat Henning once toured England, then many years and a toupee later, toured England again. The toupee did its job-theater managers told him that he was much funnier than his father had been.
Download or read book Dante s Divine Comedy A Retelling in Prose written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2018-06-15 with total page 540 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This is a retelling in prose of Dante's "Divine Comedy." It includes his Inferno, Purgatory, and Paradise. In the "Divine Comedy," Dante journeys through the three parts of the afterlife.
Download or read book The Kindest People Who Do Good Deeds Volume 3 written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on with total page 150 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book The Kindest People Who Do Good Deeds Volume 2 written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2008-11-01 with total page 170 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This book collects 250 stories about good deeds, including this one: When the great 19th-century actor Sir Henry Irving discovered an old woman who needed money to survive but who couldn't work, he would hire her to take care of the cats in his theater. Later, he was going to hire an old woman to take care of the cats, but then he discovered that he had already hired three old women to take care of the cats. Therefore, he hired this old woman to take care of the three old women who took care of the cats.
Download or read book The Funniest People in Television and Radio written by David Bruce and published by . This book was released on 2022-09-06 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This is a short, quick, and easy read. Most of these anecdotes are probably just OK, but there should be at least one or two that you will want to tell your friends. Anecdotes are retold in my own words to avoid plagiarism. Most of these anecdotes are meant to be funny, but some are meant to be thought-provoking. - Star Trek: The Experience can be seen at the Las Vegas Hilton. Among other attractions are actors portraying characters from the various Star Trek series. Many of the actors are very good, and they stay in character. For example, a famous Ferengi is Quark. When a fan yelled "Quark!" at an actor in a Ferengi costume, the actor sighed and said, "Billions of Ferengi in the Universe, and they [Hu-Mans] all think we are Quark!" The Ferengi are a notoriously acquisitive species, and Star Trek fan Kevin Wagner was shocked that an actor playing a Ferengi agreed to pose for free for a photograph with a fan. Therefore, Kevin quoted the 13th Rule of Acquisition to the Ferengi: "Anything worth doing is worth doing for money." However, the actor playing the Ferengi knew his stuff: "Don't quote the Rules of Acquisition to me, Hu-Man. Free publicity!" - George Burns and Gracie Allen had years of experience performing in vaudeville before they started doing their radio show. This long experience came in handy when mishaps occurred on their show. One day, the lights in the studio went out, and no one could read the script. On another occasion, Gracie accidentally dropped her script, and the pages scattered everywhere. Both times, they ignored the script. George simply asked, "Gracie, how's your brother?" -- and Gracie started one of their well-memorized and very funny vaudeville routines. - Comedian Soupy Sales used to collect portraits of United States Presidents and American founding fathers. On his TV show for children, he once told his young viewers to go through Mommy's purse and Daddy's wallet and mail him "the little green pieces of paper with pictures of George Washington, Benjamin Franklin, Lincoln, and Jefferson on them." In return, he promised to send the children a postcard from Puerto Rico.
Download or read book Tarlton s Jests A Retelling written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2018-01-14 with total page 115 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This is an easy-to-read retelling of ""Tarlton's Jests, ""which tells anecdotes about Queen Elizabeth I's favorite jester. He is thought to have been the Yorick in Hamlet's famous soliloquy. This book contains the original ""Tarlton's Jests"" in addition to the retelling. 25. How Tarlton Deceived a Doctor of Physic [Medicine]. Tarlton, to satisfy the humors [moods] of certain gentlemen who were his familiar acquaintances, decided to test the skill of a simple Doctor of Physic, who dwelt not far from Islington, and this is what happened: Tarlton took a urinal, filled it half full of good wine, and carried it to this doctor, saying it was a sick man's urine. The doctor viewed it, and tossing it up and down, as though he had great knowledge, he said that the patient whose urine it is, is full of gross humors, and has need of purging, and needs to be bled some ten ounces of blood. "No, you dunce," Tarlton replied. "It is good p*ss," and he drank it all and then threw the urinal at the doctor's head.
Download or read book Ben Jonson s Bartholomew Fair A Retelling written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2018-01-05 with total page 332 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This is an easy-to-read retelling of Ben Jonson's classic comedy play "Bartholomew Fair."
Download or read book The Famous Victories of Henry V A Retelling written by David Bruce and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2018-02 with total page 110 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This is an easy-to-retelling of "The Famous Victories of Henry V," which is an important source for William Shakespeare's "Henry IV" and "Henry V" plays.
