Download or read book The Extraterrestrials in an Adventure with the American Army written by Ken Patterson and published by iUniverse. This book was released on 2017-04-06 with total page 270 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Bored with the usual cattle mutilations and earthling abductions, The Alien Captain and his daring, gray explorers head to Kansas to participate in a crop circle contest. Unfortunately, due in part to a gray navigators poor self-esteem and hereditary earwax problems, another crewmates random Tourettes-driven outbursts, and The Alien Captains obsession with meeting William Shatner at an upcoming Star Trek convention, the grays unintentionally pilot their flying saucer into The Shite Black Hole. Transported back in time the hapless travelers crash in a remote spot in Americas southwest. Having no other options, the grays accept an offer from the Roswell Airfield intelligence officer, Major Marcel, to stay in the bases plush, underground quarters. It soon becomes apparent, however, that Marcels seemingly generous offer comes with a condition: the U.S. Army wants the grays to build a working flying saucer. Initially, they accept this offer, but soon find they are not up to the task of constructing an interstellar spacecraft. The grays also quickly discover they are not actually guests, but prisoners. Their hosts promise of free room and board and all the bowling they can handle is not everything it is cracked up to be. Wanting to return to their home planet of Gliese 581 c., the grays feign the need for a break from spaceship building. They convince Major Marcel to take them on a day trip to Carlsbad Caverns, where they commandeer an army air corps bus and escape to Santa Fe in hope of contacting Gliesean kinfolk manning The Emergency Earth Operations Center for Stranded Graynauts. This is a story of what happens when a happy-go-lucky space trip turns into a not-so-happy-go-lucky road trip. It is the story of barbecuing under a million stars with a ray gun. It is the story of visiting a roadside museum in the desert where sometimes visitors are put on display. It is the story of what it is like to make a mailbox that looks like a UFO. In short, it is the story of what it is like to be an alien in an alien world. But most of all, it is the story of what really happened at Roswell, New Mexico in 1947.
Download or read book Military Encounters with Extraterrestrials written by Frank Joseph and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2018-09-11 with total page 320 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The first, comprehensive military history of armed confrontations between humans and extraterrestrials • Includes documentation of incidents from World War I, World War II, the Korean War, the Vietnam War, the Gulf War, and the ongoing hostilities in the Middle East • Reveals the U.S. Navy’s defeat in Antarctica by ETs, the shoot-down of “flying saucers” at Roswell, alien sabotage of nuclear weapons, in-flight abductions of USAF and Soviet officers, and photographic evidence of the Battle of Los Angeles • Explains the link between the development of atomic bombs and ballistic missiles and the increase in extraterrestrial intervention in the 20th century Although close encounters with alien space craft are reported as far back as the reign of Pharaoh Thutmosis III in Egypt, it wasn’t until the 20th century that UFO sightings and extraterrestrial encounters were truly documented, due to advances in technology and record-keeping as well as the vast increase in incidents, particularly with military forces. Revealing his extensive research and the verifiable evidence he’s discovered, Frank Joseph presents a comprehensive military history of armed confrontations between humans and extraterrestrials in the 20th and 21st centuries. He explains how, with the development of atomic bombs and ballistic missiles, the frequency of extraterrestrial intervention in human affairs increased dramatically. He documents incidents both famous and little known, including the explosive demolition of U.S. munitions factories in 1916 by unearthly aerial vehicles, the Red Baron’s dogfight with a UFO during World War I, “foo fighter” sightings and battles with Allied and Axis combatants during World War II, and eye-witness reports from encounters during the Korean War, the Vietnam War, the Gulf War in Iraq, and the ongoing hostilities in the Middle East. He examines the evidence for the shoot-down of “flying saucers” at Roswell and Aztec, New Mexico, alien sabotage of nuclear weapons systems, and in-flight abductions of USAF and Soviet officers and airplanes. He explores the photo evidence for the Battle of Los Angeles, which occurred three months after Pearl Harbor, and the details of Operation Highjump, the U.S. Navy’s defeat in Antarctica by ET forces 17 months after the atomic bomb was dropped on Nagasaki, while also uncovering evidence of secret Antarctic German bases. The author also examines recent, 21st-century examples of alien interdiction in Earthly affairs, such as the meltdown of the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear plant in Japan and the fiery abort of Elon Musk’s Falcon 9 missile launch, both events accompanied by UFOs. Offering complete disclosure of the multitude of ET events over the past century, Frank Joseph gives us the first true reference book in the field of alien military encounters.
Download or read book Fantastic Tales from Out of This World written by Steven Robert Alexander and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2014-06-10 with total page 148 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Agua Diablo An extraterrestrial spacecraft comes through the atmosphere crashing in a mountain lake owned by the local city's water department. A creature emerges and makes his way through the miles of water pipe into a water treatment plant, which quickly becomes a location of death and mayhem. The Feds are brought in, NASA has a representative come to take a look. The military gets involved. A night janitor who remembers a horror from long ago tells the story. Noas Returns God always existed, and his first creation was Noas, who would have dominion over animals and their care and treatment. Noas complained to God, that after 10,000 years the humans on Areth did not deserve to have animals. Knowing the horrors, man inflicted on animals, God gave Noas the Go Ahead to come and save the animals on Areth. A giant fleet leaves Heaven and comes to Areth to save all animals. Kaleb, young member of the group, has more on his mind than just rescuing the millions of creatures; he will come to enact justice The 11-Mile Incident Just west of Colorado Springs is a mountain pass that leads out to the Continental Divide. On a July night when the remote area was full of campers and the Scouts down the road were conducting their activities, an Unidentified Flying Object entered the area. The North America Air Defense Command sees it, so does the nearby Space Command. Observers all over southern Colorado have seen the craft as well. Now this craft has landed. Desert Creatures 10,000 years ago, the Earth was used as a dumpsite by extraterrestrial travelers. They buried decades of space garbage in what ultimately became known as the Mojave Desert of California. In the Earth years of the 1940's and 1950's, the Army found the desert land north of Barstow California as the ideal place to train of soldiers in tanks, military vehicles.. Fighter and bomber aircraft could all practice their skills. The government and military buried tons of nuclear, biological and other ammunition type wastes on top of the materials left by the aliens. In those early days, the dumping of these materials was random and uncharted. The detailed maps disappeared and then it was a matter of "well, somewhere out there." When the Army went in and in depth, organized Fort Elwood, known as the National Training Center, they set up areas for where the troops trained. They also took an immense amount of land at the northern end of the base and made it what was called, an impact area, where the artillery would fire into, aircraft also conducting Close Air Support mission practice would drop bombs into the area. After decades of use, wear and tear, these old bombs broke into the old giant containers of the raw materials of the past. The large artillery, lethal went even deeper into the desert sand. That is what lead to all Hell breaking loose. The Delay to Gettysburg There are many stories as to why General Jeb Stuart and his cavalry arrived, late to Gettysburg. There was some truth to the idea that Jeb Stuart, and his cavalry had gone on a grand scouting mission. That mission, leaving General Lee to ponder where his cavalry was. Another truth that has never been told. On the night of 29 June 1863, Aliens abducted Confederate General Stuart, and seven members of his staff and command. He and they were returned to Earth on 1 July 1863 in the early hours of the morning. Pennsylvania farm boys all wanting to join the fight were witnesses. They met up with a Union officer from Pennsylvania. The boys were young, did not recognize rank, and told the Union regiment commander what they saw. He listened with sincerity and told the boys to never say another word or they could not come into the Army. The boys took an oath with that Colonel. That colonel on his deathbed in 1919 told his daughter the story. Nothing was ever said by the boys who, but one, all lost their lives at the battle known as the Battle of the Crater.
Download or read book Alien Hostiles written by Ian Douglas and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2021-11-30 with total page 362 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: New York Times bestselling author Ian Douglas delivers the action-packed second military sci-fi adventure in his Solar Warden series set in a wildly imaginative alternate present where conspiracy theories are terrifying realities and reptilian aliens team up with Nazis in space. By exposing the sinister Saurians, Navy SEAL Lieutenant Commander Mark Hunter and his team have more than proven themselves. Yet the war between humanity and the intergalactic aliens has only begun—now they must save themselves and all of civilization. The JSST—the Joint Space Strike Team Hunter has put together from all branches of the U.S. military—is again deployed on board the Earth starcraft carrier Hillenkoetter on a mission to probe a possible historical connection between the Saurians and the Nazi Third Reich. At a planet called Paradies orbiting the red giant star Aldebaran, they discover a long-rumored colony of expatriate Nazis... and the beginnings of a plan to enslave Earth under Nazi—and Saurian—rule. With Earth at stake, governments deeply compromised, and evil at the door, Solar Warden must fight together to end it all…even if it means sacrificing everything.
Download or read book The Aliens Are Here written by Fraser A. Sherman and published by McFarland. This book was released on 2022-10-06 with total page 252 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Aliens: They have taken the form of immigrants, invaders, lovers, heroes, cute creatures that want our candy or monsters that want our flesh. For more than a century, movies and television shows have speculated about the form and motives of alien life forms. Movies first dipped their toe into the genre in the 1940s with Superman cartoons and the big screen's first story of alien invasion (1945's The Purple Monster Strikes). More aliens landed in the 1950s science fiction movie boom, followed by more television appearances (The Invaders, My Favorite Martian) in the 1960s. Extraterrestrials have been on-screen mainstays ever since. This book examines various types of the on-screen alien visitor story, featuring a liberal array of alien types, designs and motives. Each chapter spotlights a specific film or TV series, offering comparative analyses and detailing the tropes, themes and cliches and how they have evolved over time. Highlighted subjects include Eternals, War of the Worlds, The X-Files, John Carpenter's The Thing and Attack of the 50-Foot Woman.
Download or read book Alien Empires Ascendant written by Neven Gibbs and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2012-12-02 with total page 229 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "The further story of Sam "Starman" Hoyt, his niece Jan Hoyt and their great GrandFather Jeremiah "Buck" Hoyt the Dragon slaying Cowboy. A tale of adventure, spycraft, Aliens and Apaches, oh yes... Cowboys too. Add a pair of brilliant Nerds, a Warrior Alien, A cute Army Military Police captain, a short stout Cherokee woman and the Pasty Faced Man in Black who loves her leads to a comic and wild ride across North America, a visit to Scotland and Alien planets. As in the first we get to visit Tom and Vacaro in the Plieadies to sample his Purple Pumpking and inventive excursions in brewing alcoholic beverages."--publisher's website
Download or read book Alien Secrets written by Ian Douglas and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2020-06-30 with total page 317 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In the first novel in New York Times bestselling author Ian Douglas’ Solar Warden series, government conspiracy theories, UFO history, and thrilling space combat come together in an unforgettable interstellar military science fiction adventure. THE TRUTH HAS ALWAYS BEEN HERE In the final days of World War II, the Allies ransacked Berlin. Third Reich scientists were highly sought- out prizes for Americans and Russians desperate to possess the Nazi knowledge of nuclear firepower. But they failed to capture one of the most vital members of Adolf Hitler’s inner circle: SS Obergruppenfuhrer Hans Kammler. One of the engineers of Auschwitz, Kammler was also a liaison with the Nazis’ silent partners whose technological wonders nearly helped the Axis win the war—the alien species the Germans called the Eidechse. More than seven decades later, U. S. Navy SEAL Lieutenant Commander Mark Hunter has witnessed the impossible. On a mission in North Korea, an unidentified flying object destroyed a compound developing weapons of mass destruction. Now, he has been recruited to join a government agency that has been harboring a secret alliance with extraterrestrials since 1947. Selected to lead an elite force of soldiers, Hunter will travel across the stars to help humanity stake its claim among greater intelligent life in the universe. But the aliens who have infiltrated Earth and guided war mongering nations since the twentieth century have their own agendas…
Download or read book Earth Invasion written by Sgt. Wayne Anthony Pope Sr. U. S. Army and published by . This book was released on 2015-06-20 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A battlefield soldier returns home to alcoholism while suffering from PTSD only to discover several mystifying nationality of escaping slave aliens. They accidently landed on earth while escaping from their planet as he befriends them only to finds himself incarcerated by his own government without trial jury or warning. Not long after America find themselves facing another Blood Thirty Predator Invader that brings our world to the brink of nuclear world war like never before. Another Alien Species known as Interspace Universal Protectors arrives, this alone could changes all that we ever knowns about ourselves forever. This world we call earth has no choice but to unit or wait for its own destruction until an oath among the world most powerful countries is taking. The once Invaded takes on an outer space adventure hoping to bringing death to its Invaders. This suspenseful intriguing heroic none stop action violent thriller of life-death and liberty...this defying story is unforgettable as we search for what exist beyond our own diseased imagination, for we are the Aliens in their Existence. "Are We Alone?" John 3:16
Download or read book Gust Front written by John Ringo and published by Baen Books. This book was released on 2001 with total page 427 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The choice was simple: send forces to fight and die against a ravening horde, or remain virtually weaponless and third in line for servicing. Thanks to raw human valor, Terrans fought the Posleen to a standstill. With the Posleen invasion only months away, only these shell-shocked survivors can save the Earth from devastation.
Download or read book Alien Rebirth written by Nick Snape and published by Independently Published. This book was released on 2023-07-07 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: How wrong can you be? Just when the squad think they've found a quiet solar system to pass on through, a new alien threat raises its tentacle. The reserve squad reach the Tiqsimuyu System, human-seeded and thriving, with the inhabitants spreading out from their home planet to begin in-system mining operations and the first steps of colonisation. On first contact, they are greeted with deep suspicion as the politicians recognise the Haven design of Yasuko's ship. Little do they know their arrival, and especially that of Zzind's ship, has awoken an ancient alien force on the outermost planet. As it rises from the depths of slumber, it begins to exert control, and subjugates every machine in its path. With the loss of contact, the Tiq Government pleads for the squad's help to transport TSD Space Marines to investigate. As the alien lays waste, Finn, Zuri, Smith and Noah are left impotent when the Marines come face to face with the dead remnants of their old allies. Ordered to stand down, their intervention unwanted by the politicians, they can only watch despite the rising threat. As the squad begin to understand the true enormity of the alien's disdain for life, they are forced into desperate measures, the weapons of choice taking on a new role, one that will change them for ever. While the squad fight for Nutu Allpa and the future of the system, Yasuko must face shocking revelations of her past. In the face of such a relentless onslaught, will the squad be able to hold themselves together? Read Alien Rebirth: Weapons of Choice Book 5 - Humans are back on the menu.
Download or read book Crucible of Victory An action packed science fiction adventure written by Steve P. Vincent and published by Steve P. Vincent. This book was released on 2023-11-24 with total page 208 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Continue this explosive science fiction series by USA Today Bestselling author Steve P. Vincent… A time for vengeance. A chance at victory. Sergeant Talon Stiler can hardly keep track of the threats he’s faced down - traitors, mobsters and, of course, the hated alien Dioscuri. But he knows the target that must be destroyed if humanity is to have a future. With the home world of the Dioscuri located at long last, Stiler and the exhausted Terran Union military plan a daring raid to annihilate their foe before the aliens can rebuild their strength. And wipe out humanity for good… If you like James S.A. Corey’s The Expanse series, or novels by Frank Herbert, Kevin J. Anderson or Iian Banks, you’ll be right at home in The Frontier Saga.
Download or read book Underwater Space Aliens written by Michael Joseph and published by . This book was released on 2009-06 with total page 312 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Th e adventure is about aliens who w The adventure is about aliens who want to make slaves out of humans by dominating and ruling along with inhabiting earth. These aliens implement their plan by using a weapon that starts to melt the South Pole and heat up earth's Gulf Stream in an attempt to cause havoc with earth's weather. The aliens believe this will make it easier to conquer earth. When earth's scientists realize that this weapon has been engaged, the president of the United States is informed, and he orders his top general to take care of the problem immediately. This general immediately calls in his top secret alien fighting team and their battle cruiser. The general's top secret team takes on the mission, and they find out that these aliens are called the Underwater Space Aliens. The general's team is also informed that these aliens are attacking military posts throughout earth's solar system and abducting military and non military personnel and equipment. The Underwater Space Aliens soon find out that earth's military is a formidable force. These aliens are also quite unprepared for the team's battle cruiser which has the capabilities to travel in space and underwater. The captain and team soon find out that these aliens are quite ruthless and sadistic. The captain and his team engage in battles with these aliens in space on land and underwater. The battles continue in an attempt to find the abducted personnel and the Underwater Space Alien's weapon. ant to make slaves out of humans by dominating and ruling along with inhabiting earth. Th ese aliens implement their plan by using a weapon that starts to melt the South Pole and heat up earth's Gulf Stream in an attempt to cause havoc with earth's weather. Th e aliens believe this will make it easier to conquer earth. When earth's scientists realize that this weapon has been engaged, the president of the United States is informed, and he orders his top general to take care of the problem immediately. Th is general immediately call in his top secret alien fi ghting team and their battle cruiser. Th e general's top secret team takes on the mission, and they fi nd out that these aliens are called the Underwater Space Aliens. Th e general's team is also informed, that these aliens are attacking military posts throughout earth's solar system and abducting military and non military personell and equipment. Th e Underwater Space Aliens soon fi nd out that earth's military is a formidable force. Th ese aliens are also quite unprepared for the teams battle cruiser which has the capabilities to travel in space and underwater. Th e captain and team soon fi nd out that these aliens are quite ruthless and sadistic. Th e captain and his team engage i Th e adventure is about aliens who want to make slaves out of humans by dominating and ruling along with inhabiting earth. Th ese aliens implement their plan by using a weapon that starts to melt the South Pole and heat up earth's Gulf Stream in anarth's wehhhTttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttthe abducted personell and the Underwater Space Alien's weapon.
Download or read book Starfist First to Fight written by David Sherman and published by Del Rey. This book was released on 1999-02-11 with total page 419 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “Hard to put down . . . Any book written by Cragg and Sherman is bound to be addictive, and this is the first in what promises to be a great adventure series. First to Fight is rousing, rugged, and just plain fun.”—Ralph Peters, New York Times bestselling author of Red Army “Marines, we have just become a low-tech deep recon patrol . . .” Stranded in a hellish alien desert, stripped of their strategic systems, quick reaction force, and supporting arms, and carrying only a day's water ration, Marine Staff Sergeant Charlie Bass and his seven-man team faced a grim future seventy-five light-years from home. The only thing between his Marines and safety was eighty-five miles of uncharted, waterless terrain and two thousand bloodthirsty savages with state-of-the-art weapons in their hands and murder on their minds. But the enemy didn't reckon on the warrior cunning of Marines’ Marine Charlie Bass and the courage of the few good men who would follow him anywhere--even to death. . .
Download or read book Bermuda Gold written by Edward Cerda and published by Xlibris Corporation. This book was released on 2011-11 with total page 304 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The adventure continues with sergeant Rock and his special squad of combat soldier's fighting for their survival. Once again the Rock and his men have been given an assignment by the higher echelon of command to retrieve not just lost American soldiers but the entire shipment of gold from Fort Knox that was lost en-route to a military base located within the Bermuda Triangle. In their efforts to retrieve this lost gold the sergeant and his men find themselves caught within a giant vortex that transports them deep within the core of the center of the Earth. Their adventure begins and the sergeant and his men find themselves amidst battles between hostile cavemen tribes and hungry dinosaurs trying to devour their prey as well as these human soldier's. Deep within the center of the earth these American soldiers find themselves involved in extraordinary circumstances that challenges their daily survival. Their survival skills are definitely put to the test and each soldier knows that the slightest mistake on their part could result in their death. Sergeant Rock takes his men deep into the center of the earth where adventure and death waits at every corner. The most dreaded adversaries are the meat eating dinosaurs whose only desire is to taste warm and fresh human flesh. In their search for that missing gold, the sergeant and his band of soldiers encounter alien space travelers. Their only objective is to collect more alien life trophies from planet earth. Countless surgical experiments are performed by the aliens on their captured trophies. Some of their trophies are the lost soldier's that sergeant Rock seeks. Now sergeant Rock has to battle with these aliens in order for him to free their human captives. Blood and guts on both sides will be spilled and many lives will be lost by both sides. So if you enjoy the excitement of the unknown and the thrill of the battle, then you will want to read this story of courageous combat soldier's trying to fulfill their responsibilities to their government. Go with sergeant Rock and his men into the unknown and live their adventures as your own. Every step that these courageous soldier's take, death waits with its arms wide open to exterminate their individual lives. Bermuda Gold is filled with action from start to finish. Wait for the next action packed adventure that these American soldiers take into the unknown in Blood South (coming soon).
Download or read book Shattered Union An action packed science fiction adventure written by Steve P. Vincent and published by Steve P. Vincent. This book was released on 2023-03-28 with total page 226 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Continue this explosive science fiction series by USA Today Bestselling author Steve P. Vincent… A final victory won. A new threat in the shadows. Sergeant Talon Stiler is finally back home, a hero after he sent the hated alien Dioscuri packing and saved humanity from the brink of disaster. But in his experience, peace doesn’t often last long in the great expanse of the galaxy. On Shellanth, one of the industrial powerhouses of the Terran Union, Stiler will soon find not everyone is keen on his newfound status. Facing threats in front of him - and from behind - he soon finds himself in another battle for the future of the Union. And this enemy makes the Dioscuri look tame… If you like James S.A. Corey’s The Expanse series, or novels by Frank Herbert, Kevin J. Anderson or Iian Banks, you’ll be right at home in The Frontier Saga.
Download or read book Yellow Eyes written by John Ringo and published by Baen Publishing Enterprises. This book was released on 2007-04-01 with total page 832 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Stand Against the Posleen Horde! Earth invaded! The Posleen aggressors eating what population they don't outright vaporize! Now the aliens are closing in on a vital choke point for the humans: the Panama Canal. No canal, no food. No food¾the North American resistance crumbles, and hope fades. What's worse, slimeball appeasers within the U.S. State Department (surprise!) are set to sell out the resistance to another race of would-be galactic overlords. One problem for our enemies: when the chips are down for humans, heroes have a habit of arising: A captain of industry who whips a corrupt and inefficient Central American kleptocracy into fighting shape within weeks. A retired Panamanian woman warrior who returns to the field of battle to rally her people in a last stand to save their children. And a battleship that is literally brought to consciousness by the echoes of ancient naval tradition (and a sentient A.I.) to fight ferociously for her country ¾ and the captain she's come to love. It's a rip-roaring epic of tactics, heroism, and survival as only two masters of military SF (both of whom served in Panama during their stint in the Army) can tell it. Multiple New York Times and USA Today best-seller John Ringo and Tom Kratman, collaborator with Ringo on the intriguing and controversial Watch on the Rhine, deliver another exciting entry in Ringo's hugely popular Posleen War series. At the publisher's request, this title is sold without DRM (Digital Rights Management).
Download or read book Indian Hill The Michael Talbot Adventures 1 and 2 written by Mark Tufo and published by Permuted Platinum. This book was released on 2014-08-26 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Alien warfare is no match for Michael Talbot and his best friend; from gladiator flights to amassing an army, they are a force to be reckoned with. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step and for Michael Talbot that step is taken at Indian Hill with his best friend Paul Ginson by his side. Together they grow up, meet girls, and go off to college. And that's where everything changes. While out on a date, Mike, along with thousands of others, are quite literally abducted by aliens. Known as the Progerians, their mission is to determine how best to conquer the human race. War is coming and nobody knows the enemy better than Michael Talbot. Knowledge alone won’t be enough to fight the Progerians though. Mike’s going to need an army. Individually, Paul Ginson and Michael Talbot are forces to be reckoned with. Reunited they are a match made in Progerian Hell.
