Download or read book The Chester Chasuble written by Howard of Warwick and published by The Funny Book Company. This book was released on 2019-04-24 with total page 277 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: History, hilarity and some horrible goings on. Howard of Warwick, the No 1 Best Selling author who brought you The Bayeux Embroidery, has fabricated yet another outing for the world's most medieval detective. At the request of some rather peculiar monks, Brother Hermitage and his companions, Wat and Cwen the weavers, travel to Chester to try and work out who has suffocated a priest with his own chasuble. They've even been recommended for this job by some very important people, but of course it starts to go wrong even before they arrive. Chester appears to be full of some very strange people and some even stranger religious institutions, all of whom detest one another with fervour. There are Saxon Nobles who have run away from the Normans and townsfolk for whom corruption is what they do best. Brother Hermitage must find out if the man who got killed is all he seems to be. Then there's a number of reasons why he could have been killed. And the list of who could have done it is a bit too long, even for Hermitage, who likes a list. Why does Brother Merle seem so keen on dead people? Who is the mysterious monk in the tower? How many Saxons does it take to change a kingdom? Be warned, Howard of Warwick has history: "very good indeed, brilliant," BBC Coventry and Warwick "5* Hilarious" "5* Laugh out loud" "5* Like Pratchett does 1066

Download or read book The Bayeux Embroidery written by Howard of Warwick and published by The Funny Book Company. This book was released on 2019-02-24 with total page 261 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Bayeux Tapestry is no laughing matter. Well, apart from the rude bits, obviously. The nuns of Kent have been commissioned by Earl Odo to create a great tapestry telling the glorious history of the Norman conquest of Britain. But when they start dying, one man must be sent for; Brother Hermitage, the King’s Investigator. Who would commit such a heinous crime? Odo himself? Another nun, perhaps? Some Saxons? The Archbishop of Canterbury? The people of the marshes? Well, it could be anyone really, and that’s generally a problem for Brother Hermitage. With Wat and Cwen, erstwhile weavers of “adult” tapestry themselves, he must solve the crime or face the consequences; as usual. The best plan is probably to wander around Kent rather hopelessly, and trust that something occurs to him right at the end; also as usual. At least in this tale the truth of the Bayeux Tapestry will be revealed: (well, a truth, perhaps) How did it come to be? Who made it? And who thinks that they should have been given the job instead? It’s the lucky 13th Chronicle of Brother Hermitage The man who barely survives his own investigations. The sleuth who seldom asks anyone the right questions. The monk who is firmly medieval and slightly detective. People have said things: ‘Hilarious’ ‘Laugh out loud’ ‘Like Pratchett does 1066’

Download or read book The Investigator s Kingdom written by Howard of Warwick and published by The Funny Book Company. This book was released on 2022-08-24 with total page 247 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The world’s best-selling medieval crime comedies - and the most persistent. Howard of Warwick produces yet more nonsense mystery from days gone by. Just not gone by quite far enough. The Normans are coming, the Normans are coming. And they’re looking for Brother Hermitage. This cannot go well. It’s never gone well in the past so why should this time be any different? King William’s own messenger has come all the way from London looking for Brother Hermitage, the investigator. It can only mean one thing; a really important murder. Running away or hiding are obviously options, but the king’s messengers don't take “not available” for an answer. Hermitage hears the message and asks for it to be repeated, but still doesn't understand. He is easily confused but seldom so quickly. At least he has company. Wat the Weaver and Cwen are just as lost this time. Bart, the would-be investigator’s apprentice, is the only one who sees this very strange situation as an opportunity. And that’s a worry in its own right. Forced to travel to the far north, some fifteen miles away, Hermitage and the others make some alarming discoveries that go so far back in history, even Hermitage didn't see them coming. Still, meeting new people and hearing about their ways broadens the mind. Or threatens the life, one or the other. As usual, death is always close at hand, and it keeps looking at Brother Hermitage in a funny way. Then one character turns out to have a secret no one would have guessed. Not even if the threat of death made you guess really hard. “Very good indeed, brilliant” BBC 5* How on earth do you keep writing hilarious medieval murder mysteries? Ask Howard of Warwick’ 5* Always a Delight 5* Marvellous, laughed all the way through 5* This sorry world is in dire need of Brother Hermitage.

Download or read book Not Another Murder written by Howard of Warwick and published by The Funny Book Company. This book was released on 2024-06-24 with total page 243 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Not Another Murder. A question? A statement? Or the despairing sigh of a monk convinced that Death's scythe must have caught in his habit? Escape from Gernesey and a return to Derby is on everyone's mind, but events have spotted Brother Hermitage, and they're up to their usual tricks. This time, they've put him in a priory. What could be better? And what could possibly go wrong? The cloistered life has called him back and so all will be well. There will be no murder here, even though he's the King's Investigator. No one will die, ignoring the deaths that seem to follow him around. And anyway, this is only temporary. There won't be time for anything untoward to happen. Brother Hermitage hasn't been reading his own chronicles, has he? While Wat and Cwen try to make the best of things and work out who to bribe to get out of this place, Hermitage doesn't even make it through the first night before the body turns up. How it was done is a complete mystery, never mind why. And there is certainly something odd about this priory and its monks, who don't seem at all concerned that one of them is now dead. But a route off the island quickly opens up before them, and so there might not be time to solve some murder. With any luck, they'll be miles away before long. All they need is some money; considerably more money than they currently have. That priory seemed to have a lot of treasure... Embark on Chronicle number thirty-two, and your mind will be filled with wonder. (Wondering why, mainly.)

Download or read book The King s Investigator Part II written by Howard of Warwick and published by The Funny Book Company. This book was released on 2020-11-24 with total page 252 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Medieval Crime Comedy is not supposed to be a thing, yet here is book No 20. 100,000 sales and 1000 reviews including things like 5* "hilarious and fun". And now there's more investigation for Brother Hermitage just when you thought he’d given up that sort of thing. The King's Investigator Part II, surprisingly following on from Part I, finds that things have not improved. But this time it’s a missing person and there isn’t a murder at all; well, perhaps just a little one. And this is a Very Important Missing Person who needs urgent investigation, whether Hermitage likes it or not. Following a completely blatant trail that even Hermitage can track, he has to call upon the help of people he'd really rather not call upon at all. He has to go to places he'd rather not go and face consequences better not faced. A chase upriver means a boat - and we all know who that means. And worst of all, there’s the suggestion that someone might be after Wat’s money! Of course, the Normans are making things as difficult as ever but now he has people harassing him from all sides. There are more forces at play than seems decent for one investigation. And who’s this hiding in the woods? Surely not…. Read Part II and rest assured that there is no Part III. People have talked about the King’s Investigator before they even knew it was only Part I. 5* Side-splitting, laugh a minute addition to the series. 5* Please, Howard of Warwick, give us more 5* Wonderful, laughing aloud as I was reading this. 5* Another masterpiece from the quill of Howard of Warwick, gut-bustingly funny from start to finish 5* Another winner from our master of comedic medieval murder mysteries! Unlike most, we also report the lowest rating! 3* I would like a longer story and it felt like this was the end of the series, which made me sad.

Download or read book The Hermes Parchment written by Howard of Warwick and published by The Funny Book Company. This book was released on 2019-06-24 with total page 278 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Where goes the King’s Investigator, there goes death; by murder, usually. The author of the Best Selling The Heretics of De'Ath and other tales too numerous to be polite, does not know when to stop. Despite his protestations that disaster is inevitable, Brother Hermitage travels to Lincoln to sort out a library. It’s the task of his dreams, even if he’s reasonably confident that someone will get murdered in the process. And there are several candidates. One of those troublesome Norman soldiers in the tavern? The king’s tenant-in-chief, Lord Colesvain, who has just forced the whole town to build his house for him? Colesvain’s objectionable son, Picot, who has a rather unhealthy interest in “illustrated” literature? But a library should be safe enough; apart from the librarian obsessed with books on sorcery and magic, obviously. Delving in the bottom of a box of books delivered from a long-lost monastery, Hermitage discovers the great Hermes Parchment and the whole world goes mad. Hermitage, Wat and Cwen become embroiled in events that were pretty embroiled to begin with.There are wise men of the woods who turn out to be no such thing, and suggestions of an evil secret hidden in the parchment’s pages just waiting to be released. And a dead body turns up. Just as Hermitage said it would. Told you so. It’s yet another outing for the world’s most medieval detective. "very good indeed, brilliant," BBC Coventry and Warwick 5* Hilarious 5* Like Pratchett does 1066 5* Laugh out loud with a good mystery. 1* Stupid

Download or read book The Case of The Curious Corpse written by Howard of Warwick and published by The Funny Book Company. This book was released on 2017-05-24 with total page 288 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: More medieval crime comedy; the genre that hides in the bushes and makes strange noises. Brother Hermitage is compelled to yet another investigation by the sight of a most curious corpse. Helpful compulsion also comes in the shape of a dozen well-armed Norman soldiers and the King’s man Le Pedvin, who will probably stab him if he doesn’t get on with it. Clearly this a Very Important Victim. Suspicions are raised by a host of fascinating characters, including Hereward the Wake, all of whom claim to have loved the victim dearly, but who all benefit from the death in one way or another. It’s also a bit odd that King William insists that he is not to blame, despite boasting about being the killer of an awful lot of other people. On top of all that there is even a rival for the role of Investigator. As Hermitage doesn’t want to be an investigator that’s good, isn’t it? Ploughing in with Wat and Cwen at his back, side and sometimes in front, Brother Hermitage relies on his well established methodology (hoping something occurs to him at the last minute). With all that's going on around this particular death, that might not be enough... The mysteries of Brother Hermitage have been variously described as “hilarious”, “laugh out loud funny”, “side-splitting”, and “stupid” - which is a bit of mystery in its own right. Go on, give it a try…

Download or read book Hermitage Wat and Some Druids written by Howard of Warwick and published by The Funny Book Company. This book was released on 2015-12-20 with total page 281 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Brother Hermitage is at it again - this time with druids. Is it a murder mystery? Is it a thriller? Is it just something gone horribly wrong? When his nemesis, the Norman conqueror Le Pedvin orders him to Wales, Brother Hermitage knows it is going to go wrong. He's had a prophecy it's going to go wrong. And from his first steps on the road it strides firmly in that direction. Brother Hermitage, Wat, weaver of pornographic tapestry and Cwen, weaver in her own right and the fiercest of the lot, are commanded to find one dead Norman in the whole of Wales - as usual under pain of death. Add to that some treasure and a druid curse or two, and we have the recipe for a laugh out loud historical tale like no other. (Apart from the other Chronicles of Brother Hermitage) It's all complicated enough, but when what seems like the whole of the country wants to join in, things get very messy. And then there are the druids, and stone circles, and sacrifices.... "he who has laughter on his side has no need of proof" Theodore Adorno

Download or read book The Case of The Clerical Cadaver written by Howard of Warwick and published by The Funny Book Company. This book was released on 2016-10-27 with total page 268 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: It’s new, it's medieval and it’s all very silly…. A hidden monastery in the depths of England’s depths? A secret that could rock the church to its core? A trail of clues that can only be interpreted by an expert? This all sounds rather familiar…. Except the expert is Brother Hermitage, so I wouldn’t get your hopes up. Called once more by King William - who doesn’t even know what he’s calling for - Hermitage, Cwen and Wat the weaver set off to deal with the greatest mystery of all. A mystery that has been protected and guarded for years by a secret brotherhood sworn by awful oaths. A mystery only known to a priest who now happens to be dead. A mystery hidden in a monastery that isn’t even supposed to exist. A mystery of such value that the unscrupulous and greedy are also after it, and these particular unscrupulous and greedy know Brother Hermitage very well indeed. Will all be revealed in a satisfactory manner? Will the convoluted trail lead to a revelation of staggering significance? Hardly. This is a Chronicle of Brother Hermitage, after all…. CAUTION: Not for the historically humourless. Howard of Warwick has previous form... “Absolutely hilarious” 5* “I laughed, I had tears running down my face” 5* “Stupid” 1* Need I say more... you have been warned.

Download or read book The Heretics of De Ath written by Howard of Warwick and published by The Funny Book Company. This book was released on 2010-12-12 with total page 253 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Medieval mystery for people who laugh starts here.... England's most famous date 1066: At the monastery of De'Ath's Dingle, during a completely pointless theological debate, there is a mysterious death. Routine business for the average investigative medieval monk. Unfortunately, this isn’t a tale of average monks. Anyone who would put the idiot Brother Simon in charge of a murder investigation is either one chant short of a plainsong or is up to something. When Brother Hermitage, innocent in every way, including bystanding, is lined up for execution, he begins to wonder if something might be going on. Perhaps his new companion Wat, weaver of pornographic tapestry, can figure out what it is. Before it's too late. If you are a lover of the historical detective genre, if you have a deep respect for the worlds created, don’t read this book. It’ll only upset you. Now available in a massive box set with The Garderobe of Death and The Tapestry of Death; for those with a lever-arch Kindle. People have commented on the whole sorry business: 5* Such a good writer, it's a whole new slant on medieval mystery. The truth is out there, sort of! Always makes me laugh, love these books, love this author. More please as soon as possible, just keep writing... 5* Like Cadfael meets Clouseau. 5* The usual mayhem, confusion, murder and laughs! 5* Always makes me laugh, love these books, love this author. 1* Stupid! Be warned, there are now 31 Chronicles of Brother Hermitage

Download or read book Brother Hermitage s Christmas Gift written by Howard of Warwick and published by The Funny Book Company. This book was released on 2017-11-30 with total page 120 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In a modest little tale for the season, Brother Hermitage heads for London. William Duke of Normandy is to be crowned King of England on Christmas day 1066 and he expects presents. For reasons beyond reason, the monastery of De'Ath's Dingle is invited to the ceremony and the only ones who can be let out on their own are Brother Hermitage and Wat the Weaver. But it will be a rush to get there. With only 7 days to travel over 100 miles, the pair must cross a frozen and largely lawless country if they are to make it to Westminster alive. And then there's the problem of Wat's attitude towards gifts in principle. He doesn't mind a reasonable exchange but simply giving sounds like a very poor deal. Perhaps the days of the journey will give Brother Hermitage the opportunity to breathe the spirit of the season into his weaving friend. Or perhaps not. Recent reviews for Howard of Warwick continue a theme: 5* "Very funny" 5* "Another demented tale" 5* "Briiiiiliant as always."

Download or read book How Many Monks written by Howard of Warwick and published by The Funny Book Company. This book was released on 2023-08-23 with total page 235 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From Howard of Warwick, top 20 author with 18 No 1 Best Sellers, comes yet more murderous medieval nonsense. 5* Hilarious 5* Like Cadfael meets Clouseau 5* Another hysterical masterpiece. Very good indeed, brilliant. BBC Not content with being King William's investigator of murder, and he is not content with that at all, Brother Hermitage is now having his trouble delivered. The floods of Derby wash up something very specific and there is only one monk for the job. But who would do that to an abbot? And where did he come from? Not only will Hermitage have to discover a killer, he'll also have to find a monastery where there is none. Perhaps some detestable monks will be able to throw light on the situation. Could the Norman obsession with record-keeping turn out to be useful? At least this murder is only a short walk away, and Hermitage, Wat and Cwen traipse through a soggy countryside to discover more about monks and monasteries than the weavers ever wanted to know. The 30th - yes 30th Chronicle of Brother Hermitage continues the theme of a medieval detective monk who really shouldn’t be

Download or read book The Investigator s Apprentice written by Howard of Warwick and published by The Funny Book Company. This book was released on 2022-02-24 with total page 257 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Howard of Warwick; the best-seller with sole responsibility for the medieval crime comedy genre. “Like Cadfael meets Clouseau” "very good indeed, brilliant," BBC Now contains added history. Brother Hermitage does worry. Even when there hasn’t been a murder, he worries that there probably has. It can’t do any harm to check, surely? Well, of course, it can. Has the King’s Investigator learned nothing from his previous 23 chronicles? No, of course he hasn’t. When word of death is brought from Derby, Hermitage is concerned this may be more than the usual weekly toll. A simple check should suffice, while a more complex and thorough one would be more satisfying. And this turns up quite a list. The Alodie family, who supposedly succumbed to plague; Maynard the Mighty who sweated to death and old Athlot; a ninety-year-old who fell off his roof. Hm, which one sounds a bit odd? And every good tale deserves a meanwhile… Meanwhile, off in the eastern marshes, a lone escapee from the Norman terror seeks Brother Hermitage with murder in mind. But the journey to Derby will be troublesome, including having to travel with a small band of Norman soldiers. But remember, in 1066 not all Normans took those first boats to Hastings. Some stayed behind to guard the territory. Others ensured that the land continued to flourish. Still more were too old or infirm to partake in the great adventure; And then one or two were simply best kept away from anything sharp. And everything is converging on the King’s Investigator. 5* If you've not read any of them then do yourself a favour and start right away… 5* This series, and Howard of Warwick’s books about what ‘really’ happened at Hastings in 1066, are hilarious 5* Such a good writer, it's a whole new slant on medieval mystery. The truth is out there, sort of! 5* History at its most hilarious

Download or read book Murder Most Murderous written by Howard of Warwick and published by The Funny Book Company. This book was released on 2021-11-24 with total page 257 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From Best-Selling Howard of Warwick stumbles yet more medieval mystery that doesn't know when to stop. Warning: If you like your medieval detectives sombre and serious, this is not the place for you. It is Murder Most Murderous. “Aha” on page 1? This can’t be right. When Brother Hermitage starts the latest investigation by working out who did it, you know that things are bound to be going wrong by page 2; nothing in Hermitage’s life is that easy. And surely, William the Conqueror hasn’t dragged Hermitage, Wat the Weaver and Cwen across the country just to idle away the passing moments? There’s a dead Norman noble to be considered, and quickly because William hasn’t got all day. But what Hugues d’Auffay, owner of the body in question, was up to is a mystery in its own right. His father behaved strangely enough; he fought in the battle near Hastings, conquered the country and then went home again. Why would any self-respecting Norman conqueror do that? Hugues himself had plans but no one is talking. Perhaps the servants can be persuaded to spill the turnips? But they’ve got their own world to organise; entirely to their advantage, and so will need some persuasion. The Saxon servants are keeping a dark secret in a locked trunk, one that the Normans are very keen to get their hands on. Is there a bargain to be made? Is the curse on the d’Auffay family to be believed? Can Brother Hermitage really use questionable methods to get information? And why do people keep dying? All of life is here: tapestries that dare not show their faces; a curse from an old wise-ish woman; a physick who is surprised at the number of dead bodies one investigation can produce. Read the 23rd Chronicle of Brother Hermitage and you’ll wonder why the King’s Investigator still hasn’t got the hang of it. Chronicle No. 22 garnered comment aplenty: 5* Outright Laughter 5* Laughed till my sides ached. (The Funny Book Company cannot accept responsibility for injured sides.) 5* If you're into history, crime thrillers or humour this is the series for you. 5* What fun.

Download or read book A Murder of Convenience written by Howard of Warwick and published by The Funny Book Company. This book was released on 2021-06-24 with total page 247 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Medieval Crime Comedy continues unabated as Howard of Warwick refuses to be abated. From the Best-Selling author of this very peculiar genre comes yet more medieval murder with the usual dash of nonsense. This time, there’s murder in the air; and in the bushes, the castles, the highways and byways. And Brother Hermitage is caught in the middle of the lot; as usual. Even though he’s expecting a murder to be dropped in his lap at any moment, the arrival of this one and the manner of its delivery take him completely by surprise. As the tale unravels, a simple murder and an investigation to discover the culprit would be a bit of a relief. But the Normans seem to be at the bottom of this and their intentions are wholly dishonourable. When the church puts its nose in the mix, Wat the Weaver concludes that they are completely out of their depth. But there is a victim, or there might be, and action must be taken. A journey to Nottingham reunites them with some old friends, well, friends-ish, but they seem as confused as everyone else. At least Cwen finds an ally, which gives Wat plenty to worry about. When the weaver gets drunk and comes up with the most ridiculous suggestion for a murder investigation that any of them have ever heard, it’s clear that things have gone downhill very quickly. With very important people showing a great interest in this business, Hermitage has to be very careful with his, “aha”; if he can even come up with one that makes sense. Who did whatever it is that might have been done? Will everyone live happily ever after? Were they living happily to begin with? Read A Murder of Convenience and there’s a small chance you might find out. And then there’s the crime of Mrs Grod’s cooking. Reviews for previous volumes: 5* Brilliant tale of mayhem and murder 5* Genius, funny, endearing and a proper page turner 5* Howard of Warwick never fails to deliver a good laugh

Download or read book The 1066 via Derby written by Howard of Warwick and published by The Funny Book Company. This book was released on 2020-04-24 with total page 265 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Normans are in town; beware, be careful or be dead… From multiple Best Selling author Howard of Warwick comes more medieval mystery, but not as we know it. First there was medieval fiction, then there was the medieval detective, now the whole business has simply got ridiculous. And Howard of Warwick must be held to account. Medieval crime comedy didn’t even exist until he started interfering... An old wise woman of Derby is dead, and Brother Hermitage has been asked to deal with her. Which means she must have been murdered; people only die of murder when Brother Hermitage is in town. And if she was murdered, who on earth would do that to an old wise woman in her own hovel, for goodness sake? The Norman soldiers camping just down the road? Quite likely. The local people who seem to have good reason to hate her? Quite possibly. Anyone who wanted to steal her ill-gotten gains? Quite feasibly. Very well, quite a few people would want to kill an old wise woman in her own hovel, Brother Hermitage just has to work out which one. Can’t be hard, surely? But this is Brother Hermitage, and the characters of Derby are being less than helpful - as well as pretty peculiar. In The 1066 via Derby Brother Hermitage is once more disappointed by the moral standards of the average 11th Century killer. Stumbling through a host of conclusions, one of which must be right, surely, and a small host of extra murders just for completeness, Hermitage uncovers crime of a truly despicable nature. The guilty must face the consequences of their actions and pay the price - but that’s someone else’s business, Hermitage only does investigation. Comments are consistent: 5* Another Fun Filled Advemture 5* OH MY! 5* And Howard of Warwick has done it again!!! 5* Ha, ha, ha! Aha! Brother Hermitage does it again. 5* Excellent work 5* Please Sir when is the next one coming? 5* Another success 5* Another masterpiece from Howard! 5* Top marks as usual

Download or read book The 1066 To Hastings written by Howard of Warwick and published by The Funny Book Company. This book was released on 2020-01-27 with total page 245 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 1066; coming to the seaside near you; whether you like it or not… It’s more hilarity and death from Howard of Warwick, the best selling author who doesn’t know the meaning of “enough is enough”. If ever there was a bad time to be an Anglo Saxon noble in England it was October 14th 1066. Avoiding the Hastings area was also advisable. When Saxon noble Lady Gudmund demands that the murder of her husband be investigated, Brother Hermitage feels obliged to help. When she reports that he headed south with King Harold and hasn’t come back, he thinks this might not take long. But life is never simple for the King’s Investigator, and neither is death. Uncovering things that people have gone to a lot of trouble to cover up in the first place, Brother Hermitage, Wat the Weaver and Cwen embark on an exploration of some of the more deplorable aspects of human nature; along with several pretty deplorable humans. From workshop to manorial hall they chase the most blatantly obvious murder they have ever had to deal with. And if that’s the case, why does it all start going wrong so quickly? It’s a strange murder when the investigator knows perfectly well who did it, but no one will believe him… It’s yet more medieval mystery of-a-sort, and people have spread the word; 5* Hilarious 5* Laugh out loud 1* Stupid