Download or read book Stupid Movie Lines written by Kathryn Petras and published by Villard. This book was released on 2011-07-06 with total page 231 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The creme de la crud of screen history "War! War! That's all you think of, Dick Plantagenet! You burner! You pillager!" --Virginia Mayo as Lady Edith to George Sanders in King Richard and the Crusaders (1954) "Visits? That would indicate visitors." --Army captain learning of alien visits in Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959) "When I'm sitting here with you, I don't even think about the slime people." --Hero to heroine in The Slime People (1962) "Suck the coffin mushroom now." --The Ultimate Vampire (1991) "This is bad." --Leonardo DiCaprio as the you-know-what hits the you-know-what in Titanic (1997)
Download or read book I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell written by Tucker Max and published by Citadel . This book was released on 2012-03-01 with total page 537 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The “highly entertaining and thoroughly reprehensible” #1 New York Times bestseller—now with sixteen pages of photos and a new introduction (The New York Times). My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole. I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, sleep with more women than is safe or reasonable, and just generally act like a raging dickhead. But, I do contribute to humanity in one very important way: I share my adventures with the world. --from the Introduction Actual reader feedback: "I find it truly appalling that there are people in the world like you. You are a disgusting, vile, repulsive, repugnant, foul creature. Because of you, I don’t believe in God anymore. No just God would allow someone like you to exist." "I’ll stay with God as my lord, but you are my savior. I just finished reading your brilliant stories, and I laughed so hard I almost vomited. I want to bring that kind of joy to people. You’re an artist of the highest order and a true humanitarian to boot. I'm in both shock and awe at how much I want to be you."
Download or read book Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas written by Hunter S. Thompson and published by Turtleback Books. This book was released on 1998 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Records the experiences of a free-lance writer who embarked on a zany journey into the drug culture.
Download or read book Someone Who Will Love You in All Your Damaged Glory written by Raphael Bob-Waksberg and published by Vintage. This book was released on 2019-06-11 with total page 258 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A fabulously off-beat collection of short stories about love—the best and worst thing in the universe—written by the creator of BoJack Horseman with his hallmark scathing dark humor “Transcendent tragicomedy.... Prepare to be devastated and made whole again.” —The A.V. Club Featuring: • A young engaged couple forced to deal with interfering relatives dictating the appropriate number of ritual goat sacrifices for their wedding. • A pair of lonely commuters who ride the subway in silence, forever, eternally failing to make that longed-for contact. • A struggling employee at a theme park of U.S. presidents who discovers that love can’t be genetically modified. And fifteen more tales of humor, romance, whimsy, cultural commentary, and crushing emotional vulnerability.
Download or read book Born Standing Up written by Steve Martin and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2008-09-04 with total page 198 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Steve Martin has been an international star for over thirty years. Here, for the first time, he looks back to the beginning of his career and charmingly evokes the young man he once was. Born in Texas but raised in California, Steve was seduced early by the comedy shows that played on the radio when the family travelled back and forth to visit relatives. When Disneyland opened just a couple of miles away from home, an enchanted Steve was given his first chance to learn magic and entertain an audience. He describes how he noted the reaction to each joke in a ledger - 'big laugh' or 'quiet' - and assiduously studied the acts of colleagues, stealing jokes when needed. With superb detail, Steve recreates the world of small, dark clubs and the fear and exhilaration of standing in the spotlight. While a philosophy student at UCLA, he worked hard at local clubs honing his comedy and slowly attracting a following until he was picked up to write for TV. From here on, Steve Martin became an acclaimed comedian, packing out venues nationwide. One night, however, he noticed empty seats and realised he had 'reached the top of the rollercoaster'. BORN STANDING UP is a funny and riveting chronicle of how Steve Martin became the comedy genius we now know and is also a fascinating portrait of an era.
Download or read book I Ain t Got Time to Bleed written by Jesse Ventura and published by Turtleback. This book was released on 2000-01 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: James George Janos describes his experiences in the Navy SEALs, the professional wrestling career that made him "Jessie the Body" Ventura, and his first year as governor of Minnesota.
Download or read book Love Letters to the Dead written by Ava Dellaira and published by Farrar, Straus and Giroux (BYR). This book was released on 2014-04-01 with total page 337 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “Dear Ava, I loved your book.” —Award-winning actress Emma Watson For fans of Kathleen Glasgow and Amber Smith, Ava Dellaira writes about grief, love, and family with a haunting and often heartbreaking beauty in this emotionally stirring, critically acclaimed debut novel, Love Letters to the Dead. It begins as an assignment for English class: Write a letter to a dead person. Laurel chooses Kurt Cobain because her sister, May, loved him. And he died young, just like May did. Soon, Laurel has a notebook full of letters to people like Janis Joplin, Amy Winehouse, Amelia Earhart, Heath Ledger, and more—though she never gives a single one of them to her teacher. She writes about starting high school, navigating new friendships, falling in love for the first time, learning to live with her splintering family. And, finally, about the abuse she suffered while May was supposed to be looking out for her. Only then, once Laurel has written down the truth about what happened to herself, can she truly begin to accept what happened to May. And only when Laurel has begun to see her sister as the person she was—lovely and amazing and deeply flawed—can she begin to discover her own path.
Download or read book Napoleon Dynamite written by NA and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2005-08-05 with total page 98 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Pulled from the hit film that made a hero out of a tetherball-loving guy with glasses and stellar dance moves, the words, phrases, and speeches in Napoleon Dynamite: The Complete Quote Book capture the hilarious dialogue that worked its way into the hearts and mouths of millions of fans. Quirky, comical, and yet somehow perfect for any situation, the lines included here are sure to inspire exasperated sighs, bizarre conversations, and awkward exchanges in homes, high schools, and workplaces across the country. Sweet.
Download or read book Screenwriting is Rewriting written by Jack Epps, Jr. and published by Bloomsbury Publishing USA. This book was released on 2016-01-28 with total page 361 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If there is one skill that separates the professional screenwriter from the amateur, it is the ability to rewrite successfully. From Jack Epps, Jr., the screenwriter of Top Gun, Dick Tracy, and The Secret of My Success, comes a comprehensive guide that explores the many layers of rewriting. In Screenwriting is Rewriting, Epps provides a practical and tested approach to organizing notes, creating a game plan, and executing a series of focused passes that address the story, character, theme, structure, and plot issues. Included are sample notes, game plans, and beat sheets from Epps' work on films such as Sister Act and Turner and Hooch. Also featured are exclusive interviews with Academy Award® winning screenwriters Robert Towne (Chinatown) and Frank Pierson (Dog Day Afternoon), along with Academy Award® nominee Susannah Grant (Erin Brockovich).
Download or read book Deep Thoughts written by Jack Handey and published by Sphere. This book was released on 1996-09-05 with total page 96 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A collection of inspirations for the uninspired, this work offers an antidote to the meaningful muses of the New Age. Designed for the natural born cynic, it contains thoughts on children, literature and losing your keys.
Download or read book Based on a True Story written by Norm Macdonald and published by Random House. This book was released on 2016-09-20 with total page 245 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • “Driving, wild and hilarious” (The Washington Post), here is the incredible “memoir” of the legendary actor, gambler, raconteur, and Saturday Night Live veteran. When Norm Macdonald, one of the greatest stand-up comics of all time, was approached to write a celebrity memoir, he flatly refused, calling the genre “one step below instruction manuals.” Norm then promptly took a two-year hiatus from stand-up comedy to live on a farm in northern Canada. When he emerged he had under his arm a manuscript, a genre-smashing book about comedy, tragedy, love, loss, war, and redemption. When asked if this was the celebrity memoir, Norm replied, “Call it anything you damn like.”
Download or read book Unusually Stupid Celebrities written by Kathryn Petras and published by Villard. This book was released on 2009-04-22 with total page 274 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Greeks honored Zeus, the Romans revered Juno, but modern civilization worships a different sort of god: Celebrity. Face it, we follow the stars’ every move, fashion choice, and deliciously dishy affairs. Now Kathryn Petras and Ross Petras, authors of Unusually Stupid Americans, pull the demanding divas, screwball stars, and celebu-twits off their pedestals–and prove it doesn’t take a degree in rocket science to become famous. Cases in point: • Courtney Love misses an important court date relating to “possession of a controlled substance” because she can’t find a professional bodyguard at the last minute. • Mariah Carey’s entourage includes a skirt-from-touching-floor specialist, a towel hand-off person, and a professional drink holder/lifter. • Savvy traveler Paris Hilton concludes that all of Europe is, “like, French.” • Mensa candidate and rocker Tommy Lee is pretty sure that Winston Churchill was president during the Civil War, that the numeric equivalent of pi is “the two-equals-MC-squared thing,” and that an isosceles triangle is “somewhere in Bermuda.” Feuds, faith, family, money, sex, tantrums, travel–no star-studded stone is left unturned. Filled with jaw-dropping anecdotes, quirky quotes, and special stupid-celebrity awards, Unusually Stupid Celebrities provides a red-faced glimpse of the red carpet.
Download or read book Batman 2016 111 written by James Tynion IV and published by DC Comics. This book was released on 2021-08-03 with total page 38 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Mayor Nakano announces a crackdown on masked vigilantes just as the Magistrate moves against the Unsanity Collective. Batman attempts to avert a bloodbath, while the Scarecrow makes his final move..."Fear State" is about to begin! Backup: Ghost-Maker faces his most gruesome adversary yet...the horrific Razorline!
Download or read book The Martian written by Andy Weir and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 2014-02-11 with total page 335 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Nominated as one of America’s best-loved novels by PBS’s The Great American Read Six days ago, astronaut Mark Watney became one of the first people to walk on Mars. Now, he's sure he'll be the first person to die there. After a dust storm nearly kills him and forces his crew to evacuate while thinking him dead, Mark finds himself stranded and completely alone with no way to even signal Earth that he’s alive—and even if he could get word out, his supplies would be gone long before a rescue could arrive. Chances are, though, he won't have time to starve to death. The damaged machinery, unforgiving environment, or plain-old "human error" are much more likely to kill him first. But Mark isn't ready to give up yet. Drawing on his ingenuity, his engineering skills—and a relentless, dogged refusal to quit—he steadfastly confronts one seemingly insurmountable obstacle after the next. Will his resourcefulness be enough to overcome the impossible odds against him?
Download or read book Unusually Stupid Politicians written by Kathryn Petras and published by Villard. This book was released on 2009-03-12 with total page 306 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Kathryn Petras and Ross Petras, bestselling authors of the scathingly funny Unusually Stupid Americans and Unusually Stupid Celebrities, now set their bipartisan sights on the hallowed halls of the United States government. Unusually Stupid Politicians exposes the mind-boggling but true political mishaps, missteps, and miscues that have even the savviest spin doctors shaking their heads and saying “No comment.” Sections include • Extreme Hairsplitting–such as when Florida governor Jeb Bush, after being accused of hiding in a closet from rampaging Democrats, denied the allegation completely, stating that “it was actually a boiler room” • Brilliant and Innovative Ideas from The Pentagon– like their groundbreaking "Gay Bomb," their "Bad Breath Inducing" halitosis weapon and their plans to enlist The Three Stooges in the fight against terror. • Creative Political Excuses——such as “I just discovered I’m Jewish and it’s a Holy Day,”——used by Senator George Allen, who, after learning of his Jewish heritage, got out of a Senate hearing to “observe” Yom Kippur • The Most Egregiously Large Political Egos–measured in standard Chuck Schumer Ego Units (CSEUs) This hilarious and eye-opening exposé gives awards for “How I Blew My Campaign” and “Worst Campaign Ad,” and shares a list of candidates “endorsed by God,” as well as a list of those who lost because of Satan. So turn off C-SPAN and quit text-messaging congressional pages–you’re about to learn what the definition of “is” is.
Download or read book Unusually Stupid Americans written by Kathryn Petras and published by Villard. This book was released on 2007-12-18 with total page 305 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A hilarious collection of lists, statistics, news items, quotations, and facts detailing stupid acts of Americans from all walks of life—by the authors of the bestselling The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said Everyone knows that America is “the land of the free and the home of the brave,” but sometimes that means we’re free to be as bravely stupid as we want! In Unusually Stupid Americans, Kathryn Petras and Ross Petras assemble choice bits of stupidity, U.S.A.-style, including •the top seriously flawed American advertising moments, including Pacific Airlines’ brilliant “You’re scared of flying? So’s our pilot!” ad campaign, which led the airline to bankruptcy within two months of the campaign’s inception •the Martin Luther King, Jr., celebration in Florida, where a plaque was un-veiled that was intended to honor the actor James Earl Jones but instead read, “Thank you James Earl Ray for keeping the dream alive” (an unfortunate slip-up, as James Earl Ray was King’s assassin) •and much more!
Download or read book American Beauty written by Alan Ball and published by . This book was released on 2000 with total page 153 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Cast size: medium.
