Download or read book Stop Arguing Start Talking written by Susan Quilliam and published by Random House. This book was released on 2012-12-31 with total page 194 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: For some people, an argument with a loved one is a catastrophe, a sign that a relationship must surely be over, for others a heated discussion is a way of letting off steam, a way of ensuring that passion is kept alive. But what is 'normal' communication for couples? How can you get past the raised voices or silent disapproval, to listen and understand what is really being said by your partner? Relationships change over time, and the way we communicate does too. This practical, readable and sometimes humorous book, based on over 60 years of cumulative experience from Relate, the marriage guidance experts, will help couples to break free of old patterns of behaviour and avoid using words as weapons when the going gets tough. It will help encourage upfront discussion rather than resorting to nagging, and will give you the skills you need to understand what your partner is really trying to say to you - to bring discussion rather than confrontation back into your relationships.

Download or read book Why Couples Fight written by Mira Kirshenbaum and published by Citadel Press. This book was released on 2021-01-26 with total page 304 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: How do two well-meaning people who genuinely care about each other end up in a damaged, unsatisfying relationship? Every couple faces conflict. Most of the time, the root of the problem is that we’re not getting our needs met. And most of the time, we first try to remedy this with reasonable requests—or hints—and a kind tone. But when that fails, we feel disempowered, which leads to sighs, eye rolls, silences, subtle put-downs, insults, and even threats. These are power moves. And while we often use them without realizing it and without intention, the result is the same—our partner feels disempowered and will try to re-empower themselves. And so the endless, and endlessly destructive, dynamic takes hold. Relationship expert Mira Kirshenbaum, bestselling author of Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay, reveals a better way: a three-step method for conflict-free problem solving. By recognizing each partner’s power moves, we can instead find mutually satisfying ways to heal our hurts and meet each other’s needs. Non-judgmental, compassionate, and wise, this is an indispensable guide to help couples end the negative cycle and get back to the loving understanding that brought them together in the first place. “Mira Kirshenbaum’s words of wisdom are an inspiration to everyone who reads them.” —Deepak Chopra

Download or read book Clutter Free written by Kathi Lipp and published by Harvest House Publishers. This book was released on 2015-01-01 with total page 226 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you've ever wished you could clear out your clutter, simplify your space, and take back your life, Kathi Lipp's new book has just the solutions you need. Building off the success of her The Get Yourself Organized Project, this book will provide even more ideas for getting your life and your stuff under control. Do any of these descriptions apply to you? You bought a box of cereal at the store, and then discovered you have several boxes at home that are already past the "best by" date. You bought a book and put it on your nightstand (right on top of ten others you've bought recently), but you have yet to open it. You keep hundreds of DVDs around even though you watch everything online now and aren't really sure where the remote for the DVD player is. You spend valuable time moving your piles around the house, but you can never find that piece of paper when you need it. Your house doesn't make you happy when you step into it. As you try out the many easy, doable solutions that helped Kathi win her battle with clutter, you'll begin to understand why you hold on to the things you do, eliminate what's crowding out real life, and make room for the life of true abundance God wants for you.

Download or read book Fierce Marriage written by Ryan Frederick and published by Baker Books. This book was released on 2018-04-17 with total page 221 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Ryan and Selena Frederick were newlyweds when they landed in Switzerland to pursue Selena's dream of training horses. Neither of them knew at the time that Ryan was living out a death sentence brought on by a worsening genetic heart defect. Soon it became clear he needed major surgery that could either save his life--or result in his death on the operating table. The young couple prepared for the worst. When Ryan survived, they both realized that they still had a future together. But the near loss changed the way they saw all that would lie ahead. They would live and love fiercely, fighting for each other and for a Christ-centered marriage, every step of the way. Fierce Marriage is their story, but more than that, it is a call for married couples to put God first in their relationship, to measure everything they do and say to each other against what Christ did for them, and to see marriage not just as a relationship they should try to keep healthy but also as one worth fighting for in every situation. With the gospel as their foundation, Ryan and Selena offer hope and practical help for common struggles in marriage, including communication problems, sexual frustration, financial stress, family tension, screen-time disconnection, and unrealistic expectations.

Download or read book Why Are We Yelling written by Buster Benson and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2019-11-19 with total page 290 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Have you ever walked away from an argument and suddenly thought of all the brilliant things you wish you'd said? Do you avoid certain family members and colleagues because of bitter, festering tension that you can't figure out how to address? Now, finally, there's a solution: a new framework that frees you from the trap of unproductive conflict and pointless arguing forever. If the threat of raised voices, emotional outbursts, and public discord makes you want to hide under the conference room table, you're not alone. Conflict, or the fear of it, can be exhausting. But as this powerful book argues, conflict doesn't have to be unpleasant. In fact, properly channeled, conflict can be the most valuable tool we have at our disposal for deepening relationships, solving problems, and coming up with new ideas. As the mastermind behind some of the highest-performing teams at Amazon, Twitter, and Slack, Buster Benson spent decades facilitating hard conversations in stressful environments. In this book, Buster reveals the psychological underpinnings of awkward, unproductive conflict and the critical habits anyone can learn to avoid it. Armed with a deeper understanding of how arguments, you'll be able to: Remain confident when you're put on the spot Diffuse tense moments with a few strategic questions Facilitate creative solutions even when your team has radically different perspectives Why Are We Yelling will shatter your assumptions about what makes arguments productive. You'll find yourself having fewer repetitive, predictable fights once you're empowered to identify your biases, listen with an open mind, and communicate well.

Download or read book How to Win Every Argument written by Madsen Pirie and published by Bloomsbury Publishing. This book was released on 2015-03-12 with total page 241 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In the second edition of this witty and infectious book, Madsen Pirie builds upon his guide to using - and indeed abusing - logic in order to win arguments. By including new chapters on how to win arguments in writing, in the pub, with a friend, on Facebook and in 140 characters (on Twitter), Pirie provides the complete guide to triumphing in altercations ranging from the everyday to the downright serious. He identifies with devastating examples all the most common fallacies popularly used in argument. We all like to think of ourselves as clear-headed and logical - but all readers will find in this book fallacies of which they themselves are guilty. The author shows you how to simultaneously strengthen your own thinking and identify the weaknesses in other people arguments. And, more mischievously, Pirie also shows how to be deliberately illogical - and get away with it. This book will make you maddeningly smart: your family, friends and opponents will all wish that you had never read it. Publisher's warning: In the wrong hands this book is dangerous. We recommend that you arm yourself with it whilst keeping out of the hands of others. Only buy this book as a gift if you are sure that you can trust the recipient.

Download or read book Stop Arguing with Your Kids written by Michael P. Nichols and published by Guilford Press. This book was released on 2011-03-18 with total page 244 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: For parents fed up with constant challenges to their authority-but who dread becoming tyrants in their own homes-this book provides a powerful new alternative to "because I said so." Trusted family therapist and author Michael P. Nichols takes on the number-one problem of parents today with the insight and humor that has made his earlier The Lost Art of Listening an enduring bestseller. Presented is a simple, easy-to-follow, yet remarkably effective way to put an end to arguments by refusing to argue back. Instead, the techniques of responsive listening help parents open up better communication in the family; create an atmosphere of respect and cooperation; and take children's feelings into account-without giving in to their demands. Loads of realistic examples help parents defuse whining and defiance and manage common conflicts with preschoolers to teens.

Download or read book If He Had Been with Me written by Laura Nowlin and published by Sourcebooks, Inc.. This book was released on 2013-04-02 with total page 338 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If he had been with me everything would have been different... I wasn't with Finn on that August night. But I should've been. It was raining, of course. And he and Sylvie were arguing as he drove down the slick road. No one ever says what they were arguing about. Other people think it's not important. They do not know there is another story. The story that lurks between the facts. What they do not know—the cause of the argument—is crucial. So let me tell you...

Download or read book Arguing with Idiots written by Glenn Beck and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2009-09-22 with total page 338 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Glenn Beck, the New York Times bestselling author of The Great Reset, provides the ultimate handbook for tackling and winning life’s most important arguments. FUNNY. FRIGHTENING. TRUE. The #1 New York Times bestseller that gives you the right answers when idiots leave you speechless! It happens to all of us: You’re minding your own business, when some idiot* informs you that guns are evil, the Prius will save the planet, or the rich have to finally start paying their fair share of taxes. Just go away! you think to yourself—but they only get more obnoxious. Your heart rate quickens. You start to sweat. But never fear, for Glenn Beck has stumbled upon the secret formula to winning arguments against people with big mouths and small minds: knowing the facts. And this book is full of them. The next time your Idiot Friends tell you how gun control prevents gun violence, you’ll tell them all about England’s handgun ban (see page 53). When they insist that we should copy the UK’s health-care system, you’ll recount the horrifying facts you read on page 244. And the next time you hear how produce prices will skyrocket without illegal workers, you’ll have the perfect rebuttal (from page 139). Armed with the ultimate weapon—the truth—you can now tolerate (and who knows, maybe even enjoy?) your encounters with idiots everywhere! *Idiots can’t be identified through voting records; look instead for people who hide behind stereotypes, embrace partisanship, and believe that bumper sticker slogans are a substitute for common sense.

Download or read book Conflicted written by Ian Leslie and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2021-02-23 with total page 304 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Drawing on advice from the world’s leading experts on conflict and communication—from relationship scientists to hostage negotiators to diplomats—Ian Leslie, a columnist for the New Statesman, shows us how to transform the heat of conflict, disagreement and argument into the light of insight, creativity and connection, in a book with vital lessons for the home, workplace, and public arena. For most people, conflict triggers a fight or flight response. Disagreeing productively is a hard skill for which neither evolution or society has equipped us. It’s a skill we urgently need to acquire; otherwise, our increasingly vociferous disagreements are destined to tear us apart. Productive disagreement is a way of thinking, perhaps the best one we have. It makes us smarter and more creative, and it can even bring us closer together. It’s critical to the success of any shared enterprise, from a marriage, to a business, to a democracy. Isn’t it time we gave more thought to how to do it well? In an increasingly polarized world, our only chance for coming together and moving forward is to learn from those who have mastered the art and science of disagreement. In this book, we’ll learn from experts who are highly skilled at getting the most out of highly charged encounters: interrogators, cops, divorce mediators, therapists, diplomats, psychologists. These professionals know how to get something valuable – information, insight, ideas—from the toughest, most antagonistic conversations. They are brilliant communicators: masters at shaping the conversation beneath the conversation. They know how to turn the heat of conflict into the light of creativity, connection, and insight. In this much-need book, Ian Leslie explores what happens to us when we argue, why disagreement makes us stressed, and why we get angry. He explains why we urgently need to transform the way we think about conflict and how having better disagreements can make us more successful. By drawing together the lessons he learns from different experts, he proposes a series of clear principles that we can all use to make our most difficult dialogues more productive—and our increasingly acrimonious world a better place.

Download or read book Start Talking written by Kay Landis and published by . This book was released on 2015-04-01 with total page 256 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This book tells the story of a partnership between two universities that spent several years exploring productive ways to engage difficult dialogues in classroom and academic settings. It presents a model for a faculty development intensive, strategies for engaging controversial topics in the classroom, and reflections from thirty-five faculty and staff members who field-tested the techniques. It is intended as a conversation-starter and field manual for professors and teachers who want to strengthen their teaching and engage students more effectively in important conversations.

Download or read book Talk to Me Like I m Someone You Love written by Nancy Dreyfus, Psy.D. and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2009-12-24 with total page 171 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “The most crucial relationship advice book since Men Are from Mars.”—Erin Meanley, Glamour.com A groundbreaking, interactive relationship tool that literally places in the hands of couples the power to transform chronically frustrating relationship dynamics. We've all been there. A conversation with a loved one escalates into conflict. Voices rise to a fever pitch and angry, accusative words fly through the air. At times like these, it seems impossible to find the magic words that will lead to healing. Enter Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love. A psychotherapist with decades of experience in counseling couples, Nancy Dreyfus hit upon the revolutionary practice outlined in this book during a couples-therapy session in which a wife’s unrelenting criticism of her husband was causing him to become emotionally withdrawn. In the midst of this, Dreyfus found herself scribbling on a scrap of paper, “Talk to me like I'm someone you love,” and gestured to the husband that he should hold it up. He did and within seconds the familiar power differential between the two shifted, and a gentler, more genuine connection emerged. Dreyfus was startled, then intrigued, and then motivated to create a tool that could help others. This book features more than one hundred of Dreyfus's "flash cards for real life," written statements that express what we wish we could communicate to the person we love, but either can't find the right words or the right tone in which to say it. The statements include: • Taking responsibility: "I realize I'm overreacting. Can you give me a minute to get sane again?" • Apologizing: "I know I've really hurt you. What can I do to help you trust me again?" • Loving: "You are precious, and I get that I haven't been treating you like you are." A one-of-a-kind, practical relationship tool, Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love will help couples to stop arguing and begin healing.

Download or read book Stop the Fight An Illustrated Guide for Couples How to Break Free from the 12 Most Common Arguments and Build a Relationship That Lasts written by Michelle Brody and published by The Experiment, LLC. This book was released on 2015-10-27 with total page 330 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This Illustrated Guide for Couples Ends 12 Hurtful Arguments Once and for All! Conflict within relationships is complex and challenging to overcome. In her 20 years of working with couples, clinical psychologist Michelle Brody found a way to make change simpler. Her secret: clear and lighthearted illustrations that help couples literally see what’s driving their battles and blocking their bond, so they can chart a course together to stop the fights. The Money Fight “You’re such a cheapskate!” “You spend way too much!” The Sex Fight “Not tonight. I’m not in the mood.” “You haven’t been in the mood since 1975!” The Parenting Differences Fight “You’re too overprotective!” “Is skydiving next?!” Stop the Fight! includes more than 300 illustrations to help couples unlock the destructive cycles that drive the birthday fight, the difficult relatives fight, and other familiar battles. Going beyond common relationship advice, the tools in Stop the Fight! will help you understand the big picture and create lifelong change.

Download or read book The Argument Culture written by Deborah Tannen and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 2012-10-24 with total page 385 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In her number one bestseller, You Just Don't Understand, Deborah Tannen showed why talking to someone of the other sex can be like talking to someone from another world. Her bestseller Talking from 9 to 5 did for workplace communication what You Just Don't Understand did for personal relationships. Now Tannen is back with another groundbreaking book, this time widening her lens to examine the way we communicate in public--in the media, in politics, in our courtrooms and classrooms--once again letting us see in a new way forces that have been powerfully shaping our lives. The Argument Culture is about a pervasive warlike atmosphere that makes us approach anything we need to accomplish as a fight between two opposing sides. The argument culture urges us to regard the world--and the people in it--in an adversarial frame of mind. It rests on the assumption that opposition is the best way to get anything done: The best way to explore an idea is to set up a debate; the best way to cover the news is to find spokespeople who express the most extreme, polarized views and present them as "both sides"; the best way to settle disputes is litigation that pits one party against the other; the best way to begin an essay is to oppose someone; and the best way to show you're really thinking is to criticize and attack. Sometimes these approaches work well, but often they create more problems than they solve. Our public encounters have become more and more like having an argument with a spouse: You're not trying to understand what the other person is saying; you're just trying to win the argument. But just as spouses have to learn ways of settling differences without inflicting real damage on each other, so we, as a society, have to find constructive and creative ways of resolving disputes and differences. Public discussions require making an argument for a point of view, not having an argument--as in having a fight. The war on drugs, the war on cancer, the battle of the sexes, politicians' turf battles--in the argument culture, war metaphors pervade our talk and shape our thinking. Tannen shows how deeply entrenched this cultural tendency is, the forms it takes, and how it affects us every day--sometimes in useful ways, but often causing, rather than avoiding, damage. In the argument culture, the quality of information we receive is compromised, and our spirits are corroded by living in an atmosphere of unrelenting contention. Tannen explores the roots of the argument culture, the role played by gender, and how other cultures suggest alternative ways to negotiate disagreement and mediate conflicts--and make things better, in public and in private, wherever people are trying to resolve differences and get things done. The Argument Culture is a remarkable book that will change forever the way you perceive the world. You will listen to our public voices in a whole new way.

Download or read book Safe Happy Loved Simple Skills for Your Relationship written by Linda Nusbaum and published by 1580 Publishing. This book was released on 2014-02-11 with total page 86 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Popular Marriage & Family Therapist Linda Nusbaum brings her experience to the written word as she explores ways that couples can apply simple skills to get the fullest out of their relationships.

Download or read book A House United written by Nicholeen Peck and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2013-08-24 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This book shows parents the communication skills they need to teach their children to govern themselves. With the proper family environment and understanding of childhood behaviors homes can become happier.

Download or read book How to Argue with a Cat written by Jay Heinrichs and published by Penguin UK. This book was released on 2018-03-01 with total page 107 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you can persuade a cat ... you can persuade anyone. This is the essential guide to getting your way. Jay Heinrichs, award-winning author of Thank You for Arguing and advisor to the Pentagon, NASA and Fortune 500 companies, distils a lifetime of negotiating and rhetoric to show you how to win over anyone - from colleagues and bosses, to friends and partners at home (and even the most stubborn of feline adversaries). You'll learn to: Perfect your timing - learn exactly when to pounce Get your body language, tone and gesture just right Think about what your opponent wants - always offer a comfy lap Lure them in by making them think they have the power The result? A happy, hopefully scratch-free, resolution. 'Jay Heinrichs knows a thing or two about arguing' The Times 'A master rhetorician and persuasion guru' Salon 'You got a bunch of logical engineers to inject pathos into their arguments ... it works!' NASA engineer