Download or read book Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat written by Jen Mann and published by National Geographic Books. This book was released on 2015-10-13 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: For fans of Laurie Notaro and Jenny Lawson comes an uproarious and oddly endearing essay collection for anyone trying to survive the holidays in one piece. When it comes to time-honored holiday traditions, Jen Mann pulls no punches In this hilariously irreverent collection of essays, Jen Mann, nationally bestselling author of People I Want to Punch in the Throat, turns her mordant wit on the holidays. On Mann’s naughty list: mothers who go way overboard with their Elf on the Shelf, overzealous carolers who can’t take a hint, and people who write their Christmas cards in the third person (“Joyce is enjoying Bunko. Yeah, Joyce, we know you wrote this letter.”). And on her nice list . . . well, she’s working on that one. Here, no celebration is off-limits. The essays include: • You Can Keep Your Cookies, I’m Just Here for the Booze • Nice Halloween Costume. Was Skank Sold Out? • Why You Won’t Be Invited to Our Chinese New Year Party From hosting an ill-fated Chinese New Year party, to receiving horrible gifts from her husband on Mother’s Day, to reluctantly telling her son the truth about the Easter Bunny, Mann knows the challenge of navigating the holidays while keeping her sanity intact. And even if she can’t get out of attending another Christmas cookie exchange, at least she can try again next year. Praise for Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat “Mann’s writing has transcended from witty anecdotes and complaints to notable satire. Hidden among the many laugh-out-loud zingers are lessons on how we relate to each other, and how ridiculous parenting culture has become.”—Associated Press “Following the success of her first book, she is now punching throats at holidays, starting from her being age two and continuing to the present, where she is a harried mother bemoaning not just Christmas but all holidays. . . . Harried holiday haters will chuckle and perhaps see themselves somewhere in Mann’s lifetime dislike of and misbehavior during America’s increasingly commercialized celebrations.”—Booklist “The cure for my cold holiday spirit this year is the sidesplitting new book by Jen Mann. . . . Mann delivers her signature punch lines and sharp critique on the oftentimes ridiculous shenanigans of the modern family. Her ability to make an otherwise boring subject come alive with colorful personalities, biting sarcasm, and impressively astute observations on suburban culture is what makes Mann so much fun to read and so easy to relate to.”—The Huffington Post “A lighthearted, laugh-out-loud book . . . with a feel of peeking into a diary.”—Mommy’s Memorandum “It really does make you laugh out loud.”—Shooting Stars Mag “A quick and delightful read that you can sneak in right before bed or when the kids are finally napping.”—FangirlNation “Grab a cup of hot cocoa, sit back and enjoy Jen’s latest collection of humorous rants dissecting the ‘most wonderful time’ of the year. She unleashes her biting wit and hilarious opinions on everything from cookie exchanges to annual humblebrag Christmas letters from overachieving moms to horrifying Christmases of her childhood.”—Creating Serenity “[Mann] has really mastered the short story format. . . . She packs the maximum amount of funny into the fewest words, and many of these essays are downright hilarious. . . . If you’ve read and liked her other books, you will definitely want to read this one, too.”—Bug Bug Book Reviews

Download or read book People I Want to Punch in the Throat written by Jen Mann and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 2014-09-09 with total page 226 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A debut collection of witty, biting essays laced with a surprising warmth, from Jen Mann, the writer behind the popular blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat People I want to punch in the throat: • anyone who feels the need to bling her washer and dryer • humblebraggers • people who treat their pets like children Jen Mann doesn’t have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, her fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of mothers’ night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship (the one you have with your cleaning lady), nothing is sacred or off-limits. So the next time you find yourself wearing fuzzy bunny pajamas in the school carpool line or accidentally stuck at a co-worker’s swingers party, just think, What would Jen Mann do? Or better yet, buy her book. Praise for People I Want to Punch in the Throat “People I Want to Punch in the Throat is so good that it’ll make you want to adopt all the cats in the world. I’m not sure about the correlation, but it’s that good. It should come with a warning.”—Jenny Lawson, author of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened “Jen Mann has an amazing way of telling stories that will make you cringe and burst out laughing at the same time. From swinger parties to racist toddlers, she makes the suburbs unbelievably funny.”—Karen Alpert, author of I Heart My Little A-Holes “Jen Mann says the things we’re all too afraid to say. Her honest and hilarious writing style reminds me of David Sedaris and Tina Fey.”—Robin O’Bryant, author of Ketchup Is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves “Jen Mann’s shrewd and unrelenting assault on the absurdity of suburban life is an honest peek into the occasional nightmare that is part of living the American dream. I love Jen. I wish she was my neighbor. It’s so refreshing to know that I’m not the only one who wants to punch almost everyone in the f***ing throat.”—Nicole Knepper, author of Moms Who Drink And Swear

Download or read book The Elf on the Shelf written by Carol V. Aebersold and published by . This book was released on 2012-02-01 with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Elf on the Shelf: A Christmas Tradition is an activity the entire family will enjoy. Based on the tradition Carol Aebersold began with her family in the 1970s, this cleverly rhymed children's book explains that Santa knows who is naughty and/or nice because he sends a scout elf to every home. During the holiday season, the elf watches children by day and reports to Santa each night. When children awake, the elf has returned from the North Pole and can be found hiding in a different location. This activity allows The Elf on the Shelf to become a delightful hide-and-seek game.

Download or read book Midlife Bites written by Jen Mann and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 2022-01-04 with total page 272 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A smart, personal, darkly funny examination of what it’s like to be a woman at the crossroads of a midlife crisis, from the New York Times bestselling author of People I Want to Punch in the Throat “I inhaled this book in one sitting; it’s a must-read for anyone over forty. This should become the gift all girlfriends give one another.”—Zibby Owens, host of the award-winning podcast Moms Don’t Have Time to Read Books Jen Mann had what appeared to be the perfect life: a successful career as a bestselling author and award-winning blogger, a devoted husband, teenage kids who weren’t total jerks, and a badass minivan. So imagine her surprise when, at forty-seven years old, a midlife crisis kicked her straight in the ladybits. Midlife Bites offers Jen’s trademark wit and honesty when it comes to important conversations and observations about women in midlife. Here, readers will be able to come together and find anecdotes and practical ideas to help navigate through this major point in their lives. For women who may feel isolated or overlooked, this collection of original essays offers valuable insights, takeaways, and, most important, a productive way forward. Jen shares her own story as well as advice and wisdom from the online community she built, tackling everything that bites about midlife, where nothing is off-limits: raging hormones; sex (after forty); finding your purpose; learning to make new friends (yes, even as a grown-up); moving out of your comfort zone; having conversations that count, no more small talk; and how to deal with rogue chin hairs (and other nuisances). Jen Mann is leading the movement to create a new space where middle-aged women can share openly and honestly with one another. This no-BS collection of essays will help start the conversation and keep it going, because as women, we all have a right to be happy, fulfilled, and whole, no matter what stage of life.

Download or read book I Love Jesus But I Want to Die written by Sarah J. Robinson and published by WaterBrook. This book was released on 2021-05-11 with total page 257 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A compassionate, shame-free guide for your darkest days “A one-of-a-kind book . . . to read for yourself or give to a struggling friend or loved one without the fear that depression and suicidal thoughts will be minimized, medicalized or over-spiritualized.”—Kay Warren, cofounder of Saddleback Church What happens when loving Jesus doesn’t cure you of depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts? You might be crushed by shame over your mental illness, only to be told by well-meaning Christians to “choose joy” and “pray more.” So you beg God to take away the pain, but nothing eases the ache inside. As darkness lingers and color drains from your world, you’re left wondering if God has abandoned you. You just want a way out. But there’s hope. In I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die, Sarah J. Robinson offers a healthy, practical, and shame-free guide for Christians struggling with mental illness. With unflinching honesty, Sarah shares her story of battling depression and fighting to stay alive despite toxic theology that made her afraid to seek help outside the church. Pairing her own story with scriptural insights, mental health research, and simple practices, Sarah helps you reconnect with the God who is present in our deepest anguish and discover that you are worth everything it takes to get better. Beautifully written and full of hard-won wisdom, I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die offers a path toward a rich, hope-filled life in Christ, even when healing doesn’t look like what you expect.

Download or read book Working with People I Want to Punch in the Throat written by Jen Mann and published by . This book was released on 2021-02-18 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you've ever toiled away in a cubicle or sat through the third meeting your boss scheduled to plan another meeting, then you can relate to this book. This is the third book in Jen Mann's New York Times best-selling People I Want to Punch in the Throat series and it will not disappoint!This is the book you'll want to accidentally on purpose leave on the desk of that blowhard in marketing. This is the book you'll just happen to drop next the microwave in the break room hoping that Jan in accounting reads it before she reheats last night's smelly leftovers for lunch. This is the book you'll mail anonymously to your micromanaging boss with certain passages highlighted.The Punch List:Company-wide happy hours. I barely want to work with you. I definitely don't want to have a beer with you.The Ivy Leaguers. You do know every sentence doesn't have to start with, "When I was at Princeton?"?The martyrs. You get sick days-use one. Stop dragging your sniffling, snorting, coughing, sneezing ass to work and infecting the rest of us. You're not that important.

Download or read book Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat written by Jen Mann and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 2015-10-13 with total page 225 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: For fans of Laurie Notaro and Jenny Lawson comes an uproarious and oddly endearing essay collection for anyone trying to survive the holidays in one piece. When it comes to time-honored holiday traditions, Jen Mann pulls no punches In this hilariously irreverent collection of essays, Jen Mann, nationally bestselling author of People I Want to Punch in the Throat, turns her mordant wit on the holidays. On Mann’s naughty list: mothers who go way overboard with their Elf on the Shelf, overzealous carolers who can’t take a hint, and people who write their Christmas cards in the third person (“Joyce is enjoying Bunko. Yeah, Joyce, we know you wrote this letter.”). And on her nice list . . . well, she’s working on that one. Here, no celebration is off-limits. The essays include: • You Can Keep Your Cookies, I’m Just Here for the Booze • Nice Halloween Costume. Was Skank Sold Out? • Why You Won’t Be Invited to Our Chinese New Year Party From hosting an ill-fated Chinese New Year party, to receiving horrible gifts from her husband on Mother’s Day, to reluctantly telling her son the truth about the Easter Bunny, Mann knows the challenge of navigating the holidays while keeping her sanity intact. And even if she can’t get out of attending another Christmas cookie exchange, at least she can try again next year. Praise for Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat “Mann’s writing has transcended from witty anecdotes and complaints to notable satire. Hidden among the many laugh-out-loud zingers are lessons on how we relate to each other, and how ridiculous parenting culture has become.”—Associated Press “Following the success of her first book, she is now punching throats at holidays, starting from her being age two and continuing to the present, where she is a harried mother bemoaning not just Christmas but all holidays. . . . Harried holiday haters will chuckle and perhaps see themselves somewhere in Mann’s lifetime dislike of and misbehavior during America’s increasingly commercialized celebrations.”—Booklist “The cure for my cold holiday spirit this year is the sidesplitting new book by Jen Mann. . . . Mann delivers her signature punch lines and sharp critique on the oftentimes ridiculous shenanigans of the modern family. Her ability to make an otherwise boring subject come alive with colorful personalities, biting sarcasm, and impressively astute observations on suburban culture is what makes Mann so much fun to read and so easy to relate to.”—The Huffington Post “A lighthearted, laugh-out-loud book . . . with a feel of peeking into a diary.”—Mommy’s Memorandum “It really does make you laugh out loud.”—Shooting Stars Mag “A quick and delightful read that you can sneak in right before bed or when the kids are finally napping.”—FangirlNation “Grab a cup of hot cocoa, sit back and enjoy Jen’s latest collection of humorous rants dissecting the ‘most wonderful time’ of the year. She unleashes her biting wit and hilarious opinions on everything from cookie exchanges to annual humblebrag Christmas letters from overachieving moms to horrifying Christmases of her childhood.”—Creating Serenity “[Mann] has really mastered the short story format. . . . She packs the maximum amount of funny into the fewest words, and many of these essays are downright hilarious. . . . If you’ve read and liked her other books, you will definitely want to read this one, too.”—Bug Bug Book Reviews

Download or read book The Overachievers written by Alexandra Robbins and published by Hachette Books. This book was released on 2006-08-08 with total page 549 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The bestselling author of Pledged returns with a groundbreaking look at the pressure to achieve faced by America's teens In Pledged, Alexandra Robbins followed four college girls to produce a riveting narrative that read like fiction. Now, in The Overachievers, Robbins uses the same captivating style to explore how our high-stakes educational culture has spiraled out of control. During the year of her ten-year reunion, Robbins goes back to her high school, where she follows heart-tuggingly likeable students including "AP" Frank, who grapples with horrifying parental pressure to succeed; Audrey, whose panicked perfectionism overshadows her life; Sam, who worries his years of overachieving will be wasted if he doesn't attend a name-brand college; Taylor, whose ambition threatens her popular girl status; and The Stealth Overachiever, a mystery junior who flies under the radar. Robbins tackles teen issues such as intense stress, the student and teacher cheating epidemic, sports rage, parental guilt, the black market for study drugs, and a college admissions process so cutthroat that students are driven to suicide and depression because of a B. With a compelling mix of fast-paced narrative and fascinating investigative journalism, The Overachievers aims both to calm the admissions frenzy and to expose its escalating dangers.

Download or read book Moms Who Drink and Swear written by Nicole Knepper and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2013-04-02 with total page 337 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you feel like your kids are killing you, you’ve come to the right place. This irreverant, hilarious guide to the trials of motherhood makes the perfect gift for mom—or any woman with a huge heart and a mouth that sometimes needs washing out with soap. Attention all potty-mouthed, cheap-wine-drinking mothers: Prepare to meet your match. Any bad thought you’ve had about your kids, Nicole Knepper has had worse. Much worse. It’s not that she doesn’t love her kids. It’s that she understands what a mind-f*?% it can be to try to civilize those wild little beasts. Based on her hugely popular Facebook page, “Moms Who Drink and Swear,” this book reveals why family dinners are like herpes, how to avoid smashing toys that are being fought over, and the joy of hearing that your son has murdered his imaginary friend. As Nicole rants and raves about caring for children (without crushing their souls), family togetherness (without too many tears), the saving grace of girlfriends (and vodka), and love and marriage (and all the baggage that goes with them), she gets to the heart of what every exasperated mom is thinking, just much funnier.

Download or read book Ask a Manager written by Alison Green and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 2018-05-01 with total page 306 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the creator of the popular website Ask a Manager and New York’s work-advice columnist comes a witty, practical guide to 200 difficult professional conversations—featuring all-new advice! There’s a reason Alison Green has been called “the Dear Abby of the work world.” Ten years as a workplace-advice columnist have taught her that people avoid awkward conversations in the office because they simply don’t know what to say. Thankfully, Green does—and in this incredibly helpful book, she tackles the tough discussions you may need to have during your career. You’ll learn what to say when • coworkers push their work on you—then take credit for it • you accidentally trash-talk someone in an email then hit “reply all” • you’re being micromanaged—or not being managed at all • you catch a colleague in a lie • your boss seems unhappy with your work • your cubemate’s loud speakerphone is making you homicidal • you got drunk at the holiday party Praise for Ask a Manager “A must-read for anyone who works . . . [Alison Green’s] advice boils down to the idea that you should be professional (even when others are not) and that communicating in a straightforward manner with candor and kindness will get you far, no matter where you work.”—Booklist (starred review) “The author’s friendly, warm, no-nonsense writing is a pleasure to read, and her advice can be widely applied to relationships in all areas of readers’ lives. Ideal for anyone new to the job market or new to management, or anyone hoping to improve their work experience.”—Library Journal (starred review) “I am a huge fan of Alison Green’s Ask a Manager column. This book is even better. It teaches us how to deal with many of the most vexing big and little problems in our workplaces—and to do so with grace, confidence, and a sense of humor.”—Robert Sutton, Stanford professor and author of The No Asshole Rule and The Asshole Survival Guide “Ask a Manager is the ultimate playbook for navigating the traditional workforce in a diplomatic but firm way.”—Erin Lowry, author of Broke Millennial: Stop Scraping By and Get Your Financial Life Together

Download or read book The New Guy The Kathryn Freeman Romcom Collection Book 1 written by Kathryn Freeman and published by HarperCollins UK. This book was released on 2020-03-13 with total page 349 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: ‘Amazing chemistry and a hero you’ll fall in love with’ Julie Caplin

Download or read book The Things I Didn t Say written by Kylie Fornasier and published by Penguin Group Australia. This book was released on 2016-05-02 with total page 279 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: I hate the label Selective Mutism - as if I choose not to speak, like a kid who refuses to eat broccoli. I've used up every dandelion wish since I was ten wishing for the power to speak whenever I want to. I'm starting to wonder if there are enough dandelions.' After losing her best friend that night, Piper Rhodes changes schools, determined that her final year will be different. She will be different. Then she meets West: school captain, star soccer player, the boy everyone talks about. Despite her fear of losing everything all over again, they fall in love without Piper ever speaking one word to West. But can a love mapped by silence last?

Download or read book Whispers and Wishes written by Heather Long and published by Independently Published. This book was released on 2020-06-05 with total page 420 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Everything changes. Even the things we didn't ask for. Jake, Archie, Coop, and Ian were my best friends and three of them still are and they're also now my lovers, my boyfriends, and pretty much the anchors keeping me from getting washed away. I've had great moments and I've had horrible ones. One thing is for sure, I'll never forget my senior year.It's the year everything changed. It's the year I found them. I lost one and now he wants me back, but I have no idea how to trust him again.I wish... I wish for a lot of things, but with Halloween right around the corner and the holidays coming, I gotta stay focused on the future even if part of me is still trapped in a night I can't remember.*Please note this is a reverse harem and the author suggests you always read the forward in her books. Contains some bullying elements, mature situations, and is recommended for 17+. This is the fourth in a series and the story will continue through future books.

Download or read book I Just Want to Pee Alone written by and published by Throat_punch Books. This book was released on 2013-02-27 with total page 196 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Subtitle on cover: A collection of hilarious essays about motherhood.

Download or read book Something to Remember Me by written by Saul Bellow and published by New Amer Library. This book was released on 1991 with total page 222 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Brings together three of Bellow's works of short fiction--"A theft," "The Bellarosa Connection," and "Something to Remember Me By."

Download or read book My New Roots written by Sarah Britton and published by Appetite by Random House. This book was released on 2015-03-31 with total page 585 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Holistic nutritionist and highly-regarded blogger Sarah Britton presents a refreshing, straight-forward approach to balancing mind, body, and spirit through a diet made up of whole foods. Sarah Britton's approach to plant-based cuisine is about satisfaction--foods that satiate on a physical, emotional, and spiritual level. Based on her knowledge of nutrition and her love of cooking, Sarah Britton crafts recipes made from organic vegetables, fruits, whole grains, beans, lentils, nuts, and seeds. She explains how a diet based on whole foods allows the body to regulate itself, eliminating the need to count calories. My New Roots draws on the enormous appeal of Sarah Britton's blog, which strikes the perfect balance between healthy and delicious food. She is a "whole food lover," a cook who makes simple accessible plant-based meals that are a pleasure to eat and a joy to make. This book takes its cues from the rhythms of the earth, showcasing 100 seasonal recipes. Sarah simmers thinly sliced celery root until it mimics pasta for Butternut Squash Lasagna, and whips up easy raw chocolate to make homemade chocolate-nut butter candy cups. Her recipes are not about sacrifice, deprivation, or labels--they are about enjoying delicious food that's also good for you.

Download or read book Eating Her Christmas Cookies written by Alina Jacobs and published by . This book was released on 2018-12-03 with total page 476 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Jack In my perfect world it would always be winter and never Christmas. I despise the holiday. I hate carols, shopping, and pretending to be a perfect family. I walked away from my family, or rather they walked away from me. My heart is like ice-- See it creeping up the walls. Oh, wait, no, that's royal icing. I never should have allowed The Great Christmas Bake-Off to film in my tower. And I never, ever, should have agreed to be a judge. Chloe I love Christmas! I love sparkly window decorations, heartwarming holiday movies, and themed coffee. Most of all I love Christmas baking. Even though his company is sponsoring the bake-off show, billionaire Jack Frost claims he hates sweets. But after he tastes my goods I know he'll come begging for more. And wouldn't you know it, that night Jack Frost asked me to come up to his penthouse and give him a special taste of my Christmas cookies. Against my better judgement I went... I baked him my signature gingerbread cookies and of course he ate them up! It should have been a Christmas miracle, but Jack Frost couldn't have come into my life at a worse time. Not only am I broke, but this was my first Christmas after my oma died. Someone is trying to sabotage me in The Great Christmas Bake-Off. I'm being stalked by a mall Santa. Sleeping with one of the judges is a disaster waiting to happen. I needed Jack and his washboard abs about as much as I needed that third sticky bun. But when he says in his deep, sexy voice, "Can you make me some more cookies?" well stick a candy cane in me I'm done. Eating Her Christmas Cookies is a standalone holiday novel. This full length steamy romance novel has no cliffhangers but does have a very happily ever after. The paperback version includes the full short story, Eating Her Baked Goods, which is available for free for newsletter subscribers.