Download or read book Ultimate Book of Jokes written by Scott McNeely and published by Chronicle Books. This book was released on 2011-10-19 with total page 349 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From road-crossing chickens and classic knock-knock jokes to the naughty, nice, and totally soused, no subject goes unmocked in this collection of more than 1,500 jokes, packaged in a deluxe embossed board cover with two-color line art throughout.

Download or read book The Funniest Joke Book Ever written by Editors of Portable Press and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2016-05-01 with total page 90 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Over 500 giggles, groans, and belly laughs! Kids can’t resist sharing jokes (even you try to stop them), so they always need a fresh supply. We’ve stuffed the pages of this little joke book with the funniest jokes we could find. Old favorites, new favorites, and a few festering stinkers, all guaranteed to make kids laugh out loud. You’ll find Q&A jokes, knock-knock jokes, riddles, and one-liners. And, of course, we’ve included entire chapters of those all-time kid-pleasers: elephant jokes, pirate jokes, and space jokes. Here’s a sampling: What's black and white, black and white, black and white? A penguin rolling down a hill. Why don’t zombies eat clowns? They taste funny. Why did the hen scold her chicks? They were using fowl language. What kind of books do skunks read? Best-smellers! How does Darth Vader like his toast? On the dark side. . . . and many more!

Download or read book The Biggest Joke Book Ever written by Jack Jacoby and published by Trafford Publishing. This book was released on 2008-09 with total page 1315 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An amazing collection of thousands of jokes - great for any occasions or just to get a great belly-laugh.

Download or read book Based on a True Story written by Norm Macdonald and published by Random House. This book was released on 2016-09-20 with total page 245 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • “Driving, wild and hilarious” (The Washington Post), here is the incredible “memoir” of the legendary actor, gambler, raconteur, and Saturday Night Live veteran. When Norm Macdonald, one of the greatest stand-up comics of all time, was approached to write a celebrity memoir, he flatly refused, calling the genre “one step below instruction manuals.” Norm then promptly took a two-year hiatus from stand-up comedy to live on a farm in northern Canada. When he emerged he had under his arm a manuscript, a genre-smashing book about comedy, tragedy, love, loss, war, and redemption. When asked if this was the celebrity memoir, Norm replied, “Call it anything you damn like.”

Download or read book The McSweeney s Joke Book of Book Jokes written by McSweeney's and published by Vintage. This book was released on 2008-04-01 with total page 226 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: As John Hodgman says in this book's introduction, “We all know that books are funny. First, they are made of paste and cloth, which is funny, as is the fact that people still buy and read them.” With that in mind, the McSweeney's Joke Book of Book Jokes collects the best book-related humor from the humor-laden archives of McSweeney's Internet Tendency. Open it and be regaled by such sketches, lists, letters, and spoofs as: Postcards from James Joyce to his Brother Stan Winnie-the-Pooh is My Coworker Ikea Product or Lord of the Rings Character? Popular Children's Fairy Tales Reimagined Using Members of My Family The Very Unauthorized Biography of Steven Seagal Chuck Norris Erotica John Updike, Television Writer Jane Eyre Runs for President Cormac McCarthy Writes to the Editor of the Santa Fe New Mexican Holden Caulfield Gives the Commencement Speech to a High School Letters from Odysseus's College Roommate And many dozens more.

Download or read book Is This Anything written by Jerry Seinfeld and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2020-10-06 with total page 480 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The first book in twenty-five years from “one of our great comic minds” (The Washington Post) features Seinfeld’s best work across five decades in comedy. Since his first performance at the legendary New York nightclub “Catch a Rising Star” as a twenty-one-year-old college student in fall of 1975, Jerry Seinfeld has written his own material and saved everything. “Whenever I came up with a funny bit, whether it happened on a stage, in a conversation, or working it out on my preferred canvas, the big yellow legal pad, I kept it in one of those old school accordion folders,” Seinfeld writes. “So I have everything I thought was worth saving from forty-five years of hacking away at this for all I was worth.” For this book, Jerry Seinfeld has selected his favorite material, organized decade by decade. In this “trove of laugh-out-loud one-liners” (Associated Press), you will witness the evolution of one of the great comedians of our time and gain new insights into the thrilling but unforgiving art of writing stand-up comedy.

Download or read book The Best Christmas Pageant Ever written by Barbara Robinson and published by Samuel French, Inc.. This book was released on 1983 with total page 60 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The six mean Herdman kids lie, steal, smoke cigars (even the girls) and then become involved in the community Christmas pageant.

Download or read book World s Oldest Joke Book written by Dan Crompton and published by Sourcebooks, Inc.. This book was released on 2011-11 with total page 162 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Originally published as 'A funny thing happened on the way to the Forum' by Michael O'Mara Books Limited in London, 2010"--T.p. verso.

Download or read book Humor is Tremendous written by Charlie E. Jones and published by . This book was released on 1988 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This is a fun-filled collection of clean jokes, anecdotes, puns, wisecracks, quotations, and tall stories designed for speakers, teachers, pastors, businessmen, masters of ceremonies and everyone who likes to laugh. Arranged alphabetically.

Download or read book A Confederacy of Dunces written by John Kennedy Toole and published by Grove/Atlantic, Inc.. This book was released on 2007-12-01 with total page 414 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Winner of the Pulitzer Prize “A masterwork . . . the novel astonishes with its inventiveness . . . it is nothing less than a grand comic fugue.”—The New York Times Book Review A Confederacy of Dunces is an American comic masterpiece. John Kennedy Toole's hero, one Ignatius J. Reilly, is "huge, obese, fractious, fastidious, a latter-day Gargantua, a Don Quixote of the French Quarter. His story bursts with wholly original characters, denizens of New Orleans' lower depths, incredibly true-to-life dialogue, and the zaniest series of high and low comic adventures" (Henry Kisor, Chicago Sun-Times).

Download or read book It s a Book written by Lane Smith and published by Macmillan Children's Books. This book was released on 2018-02 with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A wry exchange between an IT-savvy donkey, a book-loving ape and a mouse forms this very funny picture book that's perfect for both digital natives and book lovers. With a subversive and signature Lane Smith twist, this satisfying and perfectly executed picture book has something to say to children and adults alike about the importance and joy of reading.It's a Book is another bold and funny story from the creator of the CILIP Kate Greenaway Medal-winning There Is a Tribe of Kids, Lane Smith.

Download or read book I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell written by Tucker Max and published by Citadel . This book was released on 2012-03-01 with total page 537 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The “highly entertaining and thoroughly reprehensible” #1 New York Times bestseller—now with sixteen pages of photos and a new introduction (The New York Times). My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole. I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, sleep with more women than is safe or reasonable, and just generally act like a raging dickhead. But, I do contribute to humanity in one very important way: I share my adventures with the world. --from the Introduction Actual reader feedback: "I find it truly appalling that there are people in the world like you. You are a disgusting, vile, repulsive, repugnant, foul creature. Because of you, I don’t believe in God anymore. No just God would allow someone like you to exist." "I’ll stay with God as my lord, but you are my savior. I just finished reading your brilliant stories, and I laughed so hard I almost vomited. I want to bring that kind of joy to people. You’re an artist of the highest order and a true humanitarian to boot. I'm in both shock and awe at how much I want to be you."

Download or read book Jokes for Minecrafters written by Michele C. Hollow and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2016-02-02 with total page 159 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Jokes for Minecrafters: Booby Traps, Bombs, Boo-Boos, and More is the first book in the new Jokes for Minecrafters series, which celebrate the humor in Minecraft from skeleton mobs to zombie pigmen. Be prepared to laugh! No ghast or blaze is safe from being the punch line of these jokes! Inside you will find hilarious jokes like: Why did the slime stay home? He had no place to goo! How did Steve know that the skeleton was lying to him? He could see right through him. For kids ages 5 and up, this is the perfect book for at home, at school, or really anywhere! You’ll love telling these silly jokes to your friends and family! As a bonus, you’ll find illustrations throughout for even more laughs! Sky Pony Press, with our Good Books, Racehorse and Arcade imprints, is proud to publish a broad range of books for young readers—picture books for small children, chapter books, books for middle grade readers, and novels for young adults. Our list includes bestsellers for children who love stories told with LEGO bricks, books that teach lessons about tolerance, patience, and the environment, and much more. We also publish books for fans of Minecraft and Pokemon GO, including books full of useful hacks, tips, and tricks, as well as Minecraft adventure stories for readers who love the fight of good vs. evil, featuring a magical academy similar to Hogwarts in the Harry Potter saga. While not every title we publish becomes a New York Times bestseller or a national bestseller, we are committed to books on subjects that are sometimes overlooked and to authors whose work might not otherwise find a home.

Download or read book The Best Joke Book Period written by William Donohue and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2014-10-03 with total page 208 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Discover hundreds of jokes for every occasion! Why was the limbo dancer shocked when his wallet was stolen right out of his back pocket? Because he didn't think anyone could stoop so low. The ultimate collection of the world’s greatest funnies, The Best Joke Book (Period) keeps you laughing for hours on end. Inside, you'll find hundreds of jokes that are guaranteed to stir up a room full of smiles, including knock-knocks, witty puns, and one-liners. Complete with hilarious quotes from celebrities like Jon Stewart, Lewis Black, and Jerry Seinfeld, everyone will revel in each gut-busting moment. So whether you’re looking to add a few jokes to your repertoire, impress your buds, or improve your banter, this sidesplitting book arms you with the perfect joke for any occasion!

Download or read book 101 Foolproof Jokes to Use in Case of Emergency written by Adam Kisiel and published by . This book was released on 2020-01-06 with total page 26 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Have you ever found yourself in a situation where a good joke was the best thing to say, but you could not remember any? Whether on a date, a family reunion or simply when hanging out with your friends, this handy collection of one hundred and one good jokes is what you need for that to never happen again.Keep it on your Kindle reader, and do not hesitate to use it in case of an emergency!--A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results."I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left.""Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "Give it to me straight, Doc. How long have I got?""Ten," the doctor says sadly."Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!""Nine..."

Download or read book It s Not About Me written by Edwin Silié and published by WestBow Press. This book was released on 2011-05-31 with total page 184 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Be. Be a lending hand. Be a shoulder for tears. Be a teacher. Be an ear that listens. Be a counselor for the weary soul. Be a friend to the needy. Be a money giver. Be a prayer warrior. Be a caregiver. Be a ministry leader. Be a courteous neighbor. Be a husband who cares. Be a coach who plays fair. Be a child who respects. Be compassionate to the weak. Be patient. Be content. Be a hugger. Be respectful of self. Be loyal. Be confident. Be responsible. Be humble. Be a speaker of truth. Be hopeful. Be a worshiper without shame. Be an actor of dreams. Be willing. Be a builder of wishes. Be a witness without words. Be a picture of Christ. Be a disciple of Him. Be a Christian. Be. Will you be? This book will help you realize what the Lord made you for. The truth will shock you, but the outcome will make you a happier person, a better follower of Christ, and a humble servant, ready for the world to come. It's Not About Me! takes a peek at the picture of God's love for His children and challenges us to do nothing less. Are you ready to be challenged? Are you ready to be stripped of self and commit your life to doing God's will? Just remember that it's not about you and it's not about me.

Download or read book Just Joking written by Andy Griffiths and published by Scholastic Inc.. This book was released on 2017-03-28 with total page 148 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Introducing a new series from the demented genius who brought you THE DAY MY BUTT WENT PSYCHO. Finally, the series that made Andy Griffiths an Australian publishing phenomenon is coming to America! Before he introduced the world to butts gone beserk, Andy Griffiths unleashed the JUST books: outlandish collections of silly stories that turned him into a bestselling sensation. Now Andy brings his insane brand of humor to this side of the Pacific -- and American readers won't believe what they've been missing!Ever skipped out on school by pretending you're dead? Ever convinced a friend that they're invisible? Ever been stuck in a gorilla suit and nearly put in a zoo? Andy has. In JUST KIDDING, join this joker as he attempts some of the best -- and worst -- practical jokes in history!