Download or read book Santa Steps Out written by Robert Devereaux and published by Deadite Press. This book was released on 2011-11 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Sex, Death, and Santa Claus ... His generosity is legendary. He has a devoted wife, a crack team of sky-borne reindeer, hordes of industrious elves, and the love of good little boys and girls around the globe. But what unholy desires now propel him into the lascivious clutches of a certain fairy? And who was he before the sleigh and workshop, in times forgotten? ... She munches on molars, summons drowned sailors to her pleasure, and recalls, sharp as a pinprick, her life as the most savage of ash nymphs. Why then is she stuck, night after night, hovering above pillows to leave coins for gap-toothed brats? More important, how quickly can she captivate the jolly old elf to the north? ... He's huge, fluffy, lonesome, and unbearably horny. On his Easter rounds, he contrives, as often as possible, to get a grip on himself and peer into interesting bedrooms. But who in the world will throw him down and ravage him as the lovers under his gaze ravage one another? ... Deadite Press is proud to bring back the ultimate erotic Christmas story from Robert Devereaux

Download or read book Santa Claus Conquers the Homophobes written by Robert Devereaux and published by Deadite Press. This book was released on 2011-11 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "I wish I could hope to ever attain one-thousandth the perversity of Robert Devereaux's toenail clippings." -Poppy Z. Brite Santa Claus is back. And flying beside him is Wendy, his freshly minted stepdaughter, who can peer into the future of selected children and offer them glimpses of the wonders ahead. But with that power come horrific visions of the turmoil and trouble the less fortunate among them are fated to suffer. Can Wendy and her stepfather prevent the suicide of Jamie Stratton in his teen years, as he grows up gay in a homophobic household and community? God the Father grants them three Thanksgiving visits to Jamie's tormentors, in hopes of bringing about a change of heart in them and eliminating their ingrained prejudices. Beyond the challenge of rescuing one precious child lies the far more daunting task of expunging entirely this brand of bigotry from the human race, as Santa and Wendy strive to remake the world in compassion and generosity. Along the way, they enlist the aid of the Easter Bunny, a highly persuasive fellow indeed. But the Tooth Fairy and her loathsome imps are hell-bent on doing all they can to stop Santa and Wendy-nay, to heighten mortal fear and hatred of anyone whose orientation strays even the slightest from the norm.

Download or read book Are You Grumpy Santa written by Gregg Spiridellis and published by Hyperion Books for Children. This book was released on 2008-09-16 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Sometimes even the merriest, most cheerful guy on the planet wakes up on the wrong side of the bed… First, after a restless night due to Mrs. Claus's snoring, Santa awakes on Christmas morning and stubs his toe. Then the elves shrink his suit, his sleigh gets buried in a snowdrift, and he gets stuck in a chimney. Santa’s had just about enough! But just in the nick of time, he discovers a very special gift of milk and cookies waiting for him. As he munches on the delicious snack, Santa's remembers what Christmas is all about—the gift of love—and, merrily, his grumpies melt away. Now available as a board book, this merrily irreverent Yuletide story, brought to life by Gregg and Evan Spiridellis, will tickle funny bones and touch hearts far and wide.

Download or read book Santa Claus Saves the World written by Robert Devereaux and published by Deadite Press. This book was released on 2013-12-01 with total page 176 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: It's that time of year again - when Santa Claus has to save the world! After conquering the homophobes, Santa Claus believes that humans can finally be nice instead of naughty. But dark forces from across history and mythology have other plans. One couple and their disintegrating marriage may just cause a chain reaction that will plunge the world into darkness and terror. So Santa and his pals begin an adventure from the North Pole to the Heaven and Hades to save the soul of humanity. Robert Devereaux returns once again to the Santa Mythos that made him an underground horror fan favorite. The sequel to "Santa Steps Out" and "Santa Claus Conquers the Homophobes" combines pagan gods with holiday cheer and a large dose of sex and violence. "Santa Claus Saves the World" is a present for sickos of all-ages!

Download or read book Dear Santa Please Come to the 19th Floor written by Yin and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2011-09-29 with total page 44 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Willy wants to cheer his best friend, Carlos, up. And what better way to do so than a Christmas visit from Santa Claus himself? But when Santa answers Willy's e-mail pleading with him to visit the 19th floor of their inner-city apartment building, he doesn't quite know what is in store for him. Yin and Chris Soentpiet, the author-illustrator pair who created the ALA notable Coolies, bring us a heartwarming and modern Christmas story with the lush illustrations that Soentpiet fans have come to love.

Download or read book When Santa Fell to Earth written by Cornelia Funke and published by Scholastic Inc.. This book was released on 2011-10-01 with total page 182 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A crash-landing puts Christmas in peril in this quirky, funny, and heartwarming holiday classic from the New York Times–bestselling author of Inkheart. Scared by a storm, Twinklestar, the least reliable reindeer, bolts—causing Santa and his sleigh to crash-land. And though Santa has dropped into a friendly neighborhood, he’s not safe: Jeremiah Goblynch, the ruthless new leader of the Council of Yuleland, is determined to put an end to children’s wishes and turn the holiday season into his own personal moneymaking scheme. As the last REAL St. Nick around, only Santa stands between Goblynch and his grinchlike plan. With the help and hope of kids Charlotte and Ben, Santa must face Goblynch and his Nutcracker goons to save Christmas! “Wonderfully imaginative details, adventure, danger, and a brave young Santa who fights to preserve all that is magical and special about Christmas make this a perfect read over a mug of hot chocolate on a cold winter’s night.” —School Library Journal “The humor, plus some unusual character types, sets this apart from the general run of holiday tales.” —Kirkus Reviews

Download or read book When Santa Was a Baby written by Linda Bailey and published by Tundra Books. This book was released on 2015-10-13 with total page 39 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A sweet, tongue-in-cheek look at Santa's formative years as a jolly, one-of-a-kind kid, sure to become a new Christmas classic. Santa's parents think their little one is absolutely wonderful, even though he has a booming voice instead of a baby's gurgle, loves to stand in front of the refrigerator, gives his birthday presents away, trains his hamsters to pull a matchbox sleigh ... and has an unusual interest in chimneys. The adorably funny portrait of an oddball kid who fulfills his destiny - and two very proud parents.

Download or read book Santa Claws written by Mary Conover Mellon Professor in the History of Architecture Nicholas Adams and published by HarperPrism. This book was released on 1991-10-24 with total page 196 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Cory is puzzled about how he had Chrissie's gold bracelet. There were no human footprints around Chrissie's body only animal prints.

Download or read book Secret Agent Santa written by Carol Ericson and published by Harlequin. This book was released on 2015-11-01 with total page 224 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Christmas was supposed to be about joy and hope…not about thwarting terrorist plots Most covert agents weren't blessed with long careers. Mike Becker wasn't like most agents. On the cusp of early retirement, he's given one final assignment: babysit a single mother with a reputation for coming up with conspiracy theories. Except the bullets flying Claire Chadwick's way can't be dismissed. Now Mike will do anything to protect her and her son, and uncover the truth. A truth that places them at the center of a terrorist attack on Christmas Day. Mike's career may be coming to a blazing finish, but in this woman he finally has a shot at the redemption that's eluded him for so long.

Download or read book Secret Santa written by Andrew Shaffer and published by Quirk Books. This book was released on 2020-11-10 with total page 218 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Office meets Stephen King, dressed up in holiday tinsel, in this fun, festive, and frightening horror-comedy set during the horror publishing boom of the ’80s, by New York Times best-selling satirist Andrew Shaffer. Out of work for months, Lussi Meyer is desperate to work anywhere in publishing. Prestigious Blackwood-Patterson isn’t the perfect fit, but a bizarre set of circumstances leads to her hire and a firm mandate: Lussi must find the next horror superstar to compete with Stephen King, Anne Rice, and Peter Straub. It’s the ’80s, after all, and horror is the hottest genre. But as soon as she arrives, Lussi finds herself the target of her co-workers' mean-spirited pranks. The hazing reaches its peak during the company’s annual Secret Santa gift exchange, when Lussi receives a demonic-looking object that she recognizes but doesn't understand. Suddenly, her coworkers begin falling victim to a series of horrific accidents akin to a George Romero movie, and Lussi suspects that her gift is involved. With the help of her former author, the flamboyant Fabien Nightingale, Lussi must track down her anonymous Secret Santa and figure out the true meaning of the cursed object in her possession before it destroys the company—and her soul.

Download or read book The Real Santa written by Nancy Redd and published by Dragonfly Books. This book was released on 2023-10-03 with total page 33 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Join one Black family on their journey to discover what Santa looks like in this joyous tale celebrating identity, family and holiday cheer! It’s not Christmas without Santa! But what does Santa truly look like? Does he match the figurines on the mantel, or the faces on our favorite holiday sweaters? Does he look like you or like me? Find out in this joyous and cozy celebration of family, representation, and holiday spirit! Destined to be a new classic, and perfect for any child looking to see some of themself in Santa Claus.

Download or read book Santa Vs Krampus written by Jim Hodgson and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2017-05-27 with total page 206 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Magic is real. Santas are wizards. Krampus is a jerk. The Santa Claus myth we know and love is just a cover for a secret order of wizards. They wield a system of magic that draws on the power of swear words. Daniel is a college kid who needs a job. He finds work at the mall Santa kiosk but almost loses his life on his first day when Krampus's minions attack. There's an ongoing battle against evil for the fate of the world. Can Daniel take up the fight? Can he learn to do magic too? Will the Santas survive the onslaught of the forces of Krampus? Find out in ... this book, obviously!

Download or read book Santa s Husband written by Daniel Kibblesmith and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2017-10-10 with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Offering a fresh twist on Kris Kringle, a clever yet heartfelt book that tells the story of a black Santa, his white husband, and their life in the North Pole. Everyone knows that Santa Claus is jolly, but in Santa’s Husband, this cherished symbol of the holiday season is also black and gay, and married to an equally cheery man. In this witty and sweet illustrated Christmas tale, humor writer Daniel Kibblesmith introduces us to Mr. and Mr. Claus, and gives us a glimpse of their lives together. We see the Clauses sitting by the fire at their cozy North Pole home, vacationing at the beach, having an occasional disagreement, celebrating their wedding day, and comforting each other when some loudmouth people on television angrily dispute Santa’s appearance and lifestyle. In the weeks before Christmas, Santa’s husband helps with all the pre-Christmas work, from double-checking lists, to feeding the reindeer (organic gluten-free grains, of course), to negotiating labor disputes with the restive workshop elves. At the height of toy-making season, he even fills in for his busy hubby at the mall to ensure every child can meet the Big Guy in the red suit, and give him their wish list. As this charming book reminds us, Santa Claus can come in all shapes and colors and sizes—just like the children and families he visits all over the world each Christmas eve. Featuring beautiful watercolor pictures drawn by artist AP Quach, Santa’s Husband is a delightful gift for readers of all ages.

Download or read book Santa s Son written by David S. Scott and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2016-12-22 with total page 100 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: What do you think of when you picture elves? Could they be real? What about other fantasy beings? What about... Santa Claus? Shawn is accustomed to living life the way he wants to. He has no responsibilities, no one to answer to. He comes and goes as he pleases, traveling the world, looking for fulfillment. But all that is about to change... Santa's sick and getting old. This year, he'll be replaced by his son. Will you be on the naughty list?

Download or read book The Writer s Guide to Weapons written by Benjamin Sobieck and published by National Geographic Books. This book was released on 2015-07-09 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: When it comes to writing weapons, most authors shoot from the hip--and miss. The Writer's Guide to Weapons will help you hit your target every time. Firearms and knives have starring roles in a wide range of genres--crime, thriller, war, mystery, Western, and more. Unfortunately, many depictions of weapons in novels and film are pure fiction. Knowing the difference between a shotshell and a slug, a pistol and a revolver, or a switchblade and a butterfly knife is essential for imbuing your story with authenticity--and gaining popularity with discerning readers. Inside you'll find: • An in-depth look at the basics of firearms and knives: how they work, why they work, what they look like, and how to depict them accurately in your stories. • The biggest weapons myths in fiction, TV, and film. • A surefire guide for choosing the correct weapon for your characters, no matter their skill level, strength, or background. • A review of major gun and knife laws, weapons safety tips,and common police tactics. • "The Hit List," showcasing the most popular weapons for spies, detectives, gunslingers, gangsters, military characters, and more. • Examples highlighting inaccurate vs. accurate weapons depictions. • An insightful foreword by David Morrell, the award-winning creator of Rambo. Equal parts accessible, humorous, and practical, The Writer's Guide to Weapons is the one resource you need to incorporate firearms and knives into your fiction like a seasoned professional.

Download or read book When Santa Learned the Gospel written by Simon Camilleri and published by . This book was released on 2017-07-22 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An original Christmas fable about when Santa first learns about Jesus' message of grace.Unexpectedly, Santa finds himself on a his own spiritual and philosophical journey full of humour, self-reflection, wonder and redemption.Complemented by the beautiful and engaging illustrations of Matt Boutros, this book hopes to inspire many a conversation about faith, philosophy and the messages of Christmas, between adults and children alike.

Download or read book Santa s Zany Wacky Just Not Right Night Before Christmas written by D K Simoneau and published by . This book was released on 2014-10-01 with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Santa's (Zany, Wacky, Just Not Right) Night Before Christmas is a whimiscal tale of Santa's jouney through a Christmas Eve that doesn't go as he expects. One small event leads to a series of surprises that change Santa and Christmas as we know it. It's a story to spark the imagination, make kids giggle, and bring a smile even to a grownup's face!