Download or read book Penguins Hate Stuff written by Greg Stones and published by Chronicle Books. This book was released on 2013-07-16 with total page 67 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the adorable to the absurd, these playful paintings are a penguin lover’s delight. Penguins hate zombies. They also hate serpents, bad haircuts, sock monkeys, leprechauns, Halloween, oil rigs, vampire penguins, and mermaids. They really hate clowns, but they really like capes, balloons, and free vacations. This quirky collection reveals the discriminating tastes of these adorable flightless Antarctic birds who encounter odd foes (snow sharks, beavers, cowboys, samurai . . .), but still manage to enjoy the little things in life. With wit, humor, and the occasional alien invasion, Greg Stones’s paintings capture the playfully absurd life of penguins. Praise for Greg Stones “Stones’s panels have a cool way of collectively turning a grin into a chuckle (and perhaps, dare it be said, into a hearty guffaw).” —Publishers Weekly

Download or read book Zombies Hate Stuff written by Greg Stones and published by Chronicle Books. This book was released on 2012-03-21 with total page 66 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Each of Greg Stones's paintings reveal funny and unexpected scenes of zombie disgruntlement, cataloging the stuff that really riles up the walking dead (astronauts, rain, bagpipes, re-gifting, and more) with wit, humor, and, of course, brains.

Download or read book Penguins Can t Fly written by Jason Kotecki and published by St. Martin's Griffin. This book was released on 2015-06-23 with total page 246 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Life is supposed to be fun. We knew this instinctively as kids, but somehow forgot on the way to adulthood. We got busy and overwhelmed, started valuing things that don't matter, and learned to follow the rules that don't even exist: hate mondays only celebrate when the calendar gives you permission don't make a mess don't play hooky hide your weirdness hide your wrinkles care what other people think Following these so-called rules is a terrific way to stress you out, sap your energy, and ensure a boring life. But there's a better way. In his enlightening book, author and artist Jason Kotecki uncovers some of the most useless rules so you can shift perspective and start seeing the world with wonder once again. It's time to stop living by someone else's rules. Your life is a story, and a short one at that. Make it a good one.

Download or read book F U Penguin written by Matthew Gasteier and published by Villard. This book was released on 2010-10-05 with total page 242 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Perfect for the Scrooge in your life—a profane, hilarious takedown of all things cute and cuddly, by the author of the blog sensation of (almost) the same name Attention, all you clumsy pandas, lovable puffins, huggable bunnies, and penguins that elicit ooohs and aaahs: The jig is up! We have lived under your furry fists for too long. There is a cute and present danger lurking out there–in the wild, in the zoos, and sometimes even in our very own homes. Spurred on by the Cute Industrial Complex, these cuddly animals have taken over blockbuster films, inspirational posters, and computer desktops everywhere, further weakening the innocent civilians who are beguiled by these fuzzy frauds. But you are stronger than them, aren’t you? Those soft bellies and wet noses are no match for you–and their free ride has just come to an end. F U, Penguin is the rallying cry for those who choose to fight these power-hungry cute-mongers. Loaded with color photographs and hilarious commentary, this book will have you laughing out loud while it simultaneously saves you from the tragic fate of tossing yarn with big-eyed kittens and bottle-nursing baby pandas forever. ___________________________ "Finally, a book for the rest of us! Most animals go about our business without playing to the audience like the elitists exposed in these chapters.I wasn't sure how many more times I could hear about those great penguins and pandas and kittens before I started eating people... well, more people, anyway."—Jerry the Shark "Penguins killed my parents, and they would not hesitate to kill me. I thank the Crustacean God for Matthew Gasteier, a true saint and a decent human being in a world filled with heartless penguin accomplices."—Dennis the Krill "It's all true. We're the worst."—Anonymous Penguin "The average dolphin is far beyond this level of vulgarity, but I could see how this would be a very enjoyable book for humans. I should remember to hand these out to some of my slower relatives at the common ancestor reunion."—Edward the Dolphin "Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, this style of book is not something we are currently looking for. However, we wish you the best of luck with your human publishers!"—Danielle the Bear, Editor-in-Chief, Random Cave Publishing

Download or read book And Tango Makes Three written by Justin Richardson and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2015-06-02 with total page 40 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The heartwarming true story of two penguins who create a nontraditional family. At the penguin house at the Central Park Zoo, two penguins named Roy and Silo were a little bit different from the others. But their desire for a family was the same. And with the help of a kindly zookeeper, Roy and Silo got the chance to welcome a baby penguin of their very own.

Download or read book Goodbye Penguins written by Greg Stones and published by . This book was released on 2007-08 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Fifteen penguins disappear one by one.

Download or read book Zombies Hate Stuff written by Greg Stones and published by Chronicle Books. This book was released on 2014-06-24 with total page 66 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Zombies hate clowns. They also hate hippies, not to mention zip lines, penguins, moon penguins, nudists, weddings, sharing, and kittens. They really hate unicorns, strangely don't mind Canadians, and love YOU. Each of Greg Stones's ghoulishly colorful paintings reveal funny and unexpected scenes of zombie disgruntlement, cataloging the stuff that really riles up the walking dead (astronauts, rain, bagpipes, re-gifting, and more) with wit, humor, and, of course, brains. Zombies Hate Stuff offers an unexpected and irresistible perspective on the zombie apocalypse and the pop culture phenomenon that will not die.

Download or read book 99 Stormtroopers Join the Empire written by Greg Stones and published by Chronicle Books. This book was released on 2017-07-25 with total page 100 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Ninety-nine Stormtroopers join the Empire, and then their troubles begin. One takes a lunch break in the carbon freezing chamber. Two underestimate a princess. One picks the wrong time to ask for a promotion. Another fails to show Jabba the proper respect. And one interrupts Lord Vader's private time, failing him for the last time. A lifelong Star Wars fan, Greg Stones brings a playful wit and sympathy for the plight of the troops as they meet their amusing ends, filling each colorfully painted scenario with fun Star Wars details and appearances by Han, Luke, Chewie, K-2SO, and many other characters. As the trooper count ticks down, how will the last one fare as he receives a very special assignment (on the Death Star)? © and TM Lucasfilm Ltd. Used Under Authorization

Download or read book Garden Gnomes Have Issues written by Greg Stones and published by Chronicle Books. This book was released on 2016-03-15 with total page 67 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Garden gnomes may be small, but their problems are often very big. They have issues with snowmen, magnets, bubblegum, and mimes. They really enjoy romance, skinny-dipping, and paper airplanes, but they have major issues with watermelons, mousetraps, trampolines, and teddy bears—and through it all they especially love one special thing. Artist Greg Stones turns his popular, playful illustration style to the tiny troubles of these beloved characters, presenting their inner lives with a warm and witty sense of the absurd.

Download or read book Please Say Please written by Margery Cuyler and published by Scholastic. This book was released on 2004 with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Penguin teaches his animal friends how to behave when they are invited for dinner.

Download or read book Networking for People Who Hate Networking written by Devora Zack and published by ReadHowYouWant.com. This book was released on 2010-12-30 with total page 242 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Shows how the networking-averse can succeed by working with the very traits that make them hate traditional networking Written by a proud introvert who is also an enthusiastic networker Includes field-tested tips and techniques for virtually any situation Are you the kind of person who would rather get a root canal than face a group of strangers? Does the phrase working a room make you want to retreat to yours? Does traditional networking advice seem like its in a foreign language? Devora Zack, an avowed introvert and a successful consultant who speaks to thousands of people every year, feels your pain. She found that most networking advice books assume that to succeed you have to become an outgoing, extraverted person. Or at least learn how to fake it. Not at all. There is another way. This book shatters stereotypes about people who dislike networking. Theyre not shy or misanthropic. Rather, they tend to be reflective - they think before they talk. They focus intensely on a few things rather than broadly on a lot of things. And they need time alone to recharge. Because theyve been told networking is all about small talk, big numbers and constant contact, they assume its not for them. But it is! Zack politely examines and then smashes to tiny fragments the dusty old rules of standard networking advice. She shows how the very traits that ordinarily make people networking-averse can be harnessed to forge an approach that is just as effective as more traditional approaches, if not better. And she applies it to all kinds of situations, not just formal networking events. After all, as she says, life is just one big networking opportunity - a notion readers can now embrace. Networking enables you to accomplish the things that are important to you. But you cant adopt a style that goes against who you are - and you dont have to. I have never met a person who did not benefit tremendously from learning how to network - on his or her own terms, Zack writes. You do not succeed by denying your natural temperament; you succeed by working with your strengths.

Download or read book Pirate Penguin vs Ninja Chicken Volume 1 Troublems With Frenemies written by Ray Friesen and published by National Geographic Books. This book was released on 2011-09-06 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Two best "frenemies" have tons of fun, fights, and frozen treats in this collection of comics featuring the funniest pair of fowl you've ever seen. Pirate Penguin and Ninja Chicken are friends. Or maybe they're enemies. Heck, if they can't keep track, then how can we!? Whatever they are, they're definitely hilarious. We think you'll like this book: there are about a bajillion jokes inside, and it's filled with action, adventure and arguments. Sometimes the stories are really teeny, about stuff like ice cream smoothies or making fun of your friends (just like real life!), and sometimes the story gets really epic-tastic, filled with spaceships and giant monsters and evil koalas and stuff (just like real life!). Plus, since it's about pirates, there are at least 17 swordfights (that's the rule with pirates). Perfect for friends, enemies, and "frenemies," this full-color collection of wacky adventures will keep you cracking up with no "troublem."

Download or read book City of Saints Thieves written by Natalie C. Anderson and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2018-05-08 with total page 434 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo meets Gone Girl in this enthralling murder mystery set in Kenya. In the shadows of Sangui City, there lives a girl who doesn't exist. After fleeing the Congo as refugees, Tina and her mother arrived in Kenya looking for the chance to build a new life and home. Her mother quickly found work as a maid for a prominent family, headed by Roland Greyhill, one of the city’s most respected business leaders. But Tina soon learns that the Greyhill fortune was made from a life of corruption and crime. So when her mother is found shot to death in Mr. Greyhill's personal study, she knows exactly who’s behind it. With revenge always on her mind, Tina spends the next four years surviving on the streets alone, working as a master thief for the Goondas, Sangui City’s local gang. It’s a job for the Goondas that finally brings Tina back to the Greyhill estate, giving her the chance for vengeance she’s been waiting for. But as soon as she steps inside the lavish home, she’s overtaken by the pain of old wounds and the pull of past friendships, setting into motion a dangerous cascade of events that could, at any moment, cost Tina her life. But finally uncovering the incredible truth about who killed her mother—and why—keeps her holding on in this fast-paced nail-biting thriller.

Download or read book Unicorn Being a Jerk written by C. W. Moss and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2011-11-08 with total page 126 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A Hilarious Expose of the Secret Lives of Unicorns, Based on the Popular Online Comic! In Unicorn Being a Jerk, author/illustrator C.W. Moss reveals - through approximately 55 colorful illustrations and accompanying captions - that unicorns are not the majestic creatures we think they are but are in fact jerks whose petty, selfish antics include stomping on children's sandcastles, feeding pigs to bacon, and parking in handicap spots at the mall. In the vein of The Book of Bunny Suicides, this humor book will be required reading for all those unsuspecting unicorn fans out there who will come face to face with the ugly reality of this mythical creature.

Download or read book Managing for People Who Hate Managing written by Devora Zack and published by Berrett-Koehler Publishers. This book was released on 2012-08-27 with total page 178 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Professional success, more often than not, means becoming a manager. Yet nobody prepared you for having to deal with messy tidbits like emotions, conflicts, and personalities—all while achieving ever-greater goals and meeting ever-looming deadlines. Not exactly what you had in mind, is it? Don't panic. Devora Zack has the tools to help you succeed and even thrive as a manager. Drawing on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, Zack introduces two primary management styles—thinkers and feelers—and guides you in developing a management style that fits who you really are. She takes you through a host of potentially difficult situations, showing how this new way of understanding yourself and others makes managing less of a stumble in the dark and more of a walk in the park. Her enlightening examples, helpful exercises, and lifesaving tips make this book the new go-to guide for all those managers looking to love their jobs again.

Download or read book The Street of Crocodiles written by Bruno Schulz and published by Penguin. This book was released on 1977 with total page 164 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Street of Crocodiles in the Polish city of Drogobych is a street of memories and dreams where recollections of Bruno Schulz's uncommon boyhood and of the eerie side of his merchant family's life are evoked in a startling blend of the real and the fantastic. Most memorable - and most chilling - is the portrait of the author's father, a maddened shopkeeper who imports rare birds' eggs to hatch in his attic, who believes tailors' dummies should be treated like people, and whose obsessive fear of cockroaches causes him to resemble one. Bruno Schulz, a Polish Jew killed by the Nazis in 1942, is considered by many to have been the leading Polish writer between the two world wars.

Download or read book Sock Monkeys Have Issues written by Greg Stones and published by Chronicle Books. This book was released on 2015-03-10 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Sock Monkeys have issues with moths. They also have trouble with pterodactyls, home improvement projects, kittens (who tend to unravel them), and paparazzi. They really like bananas, jet packs, sock puppies, and romance, but have MAJOR issues with clowns, embarrassing relatives (King Kong), and gym socks. Through it all, they really adore one thing. Author of the breakout hit Zombies Hate Stuff, Greg Stones turns his popular, playfully absurd illustration style and subversive humor to the lovable but issue-fraught world of sock monkeys, detailing their inner lives and misadventures with a playful wit that will appeal to cheeky monkeys of all ages.