Download or read book Pages from the Pizza Crows written by Evan Witmer and published by Odd Fiction. This book was released on 2019-11-27 with total page 323 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In exchange for pizza, a beautiful crow delivered stories to my windowsill. I've collected those stories, here, for your amusement and observation. The genres gravitate towards surrealist fantasy with a touch of horror and a thread of comedy."Bedfellows" follows the story of a boy and a girl who are attached at the hip by supernatural means. "Belligamy" tells the tale of a powerful curse forcing married men to fight one another in order to protect their brides. "Captured by Animals" details an author’s adventures spying on people in the woods to write his romance stories. "The Red Constellation" is Law & Order SVU meets Cosmic Horror. "Young Adult Series Simulator" tells the story of that date you went on at the bookstore. "F1" is about a pregnant horse. "Nine-Tenths An Ape" is the Monkey's Paw but in reverse. "Lethe" asks, how old were you when you had your first memory? Maybe a little too old? "The Bright Idea Room" reminds you that it's the environment that kills you in the end. Not the serial killer. "Satan's Spies" is about a friendly group of businessmen and their obsession with strip clubs.New for September 2020: The book has been reedited by professional editor Vincent Parisi.
Download or read book How To Burn This Book written by Evan Witmer and published by Odd Fiction. This book was released on 2021-12-15 with total page 377 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Step one of burning a book is finding a disagreeable premise within its interior to justify the act. In order to simplify this process for the reader, each short story in this collection is followed by a precise reason the short story should be immolated, opined by the author’s many critics. "Lucky Girl Noir" is about a hard-boiled cop solving the murder of a ‘Lucky Girl’, one of many powered women born with probability consistenly in their favor. Burning this story would be a much needed win in the war against plagiarism. "Three Days West" is an acid-Western about a pair of turophile cowboys exploiting their otherworldly connection in frontier Colorado. This story deserves burning for stealing the modesty of American pulp heroes. "Zantar" is Tarzan but with aliens and raccoons. Burning seems appropriate, as it acts as a continuation of the author’s insatiable hunger for theriocide. "Sea Creatures" is a sapphic love story between a siren and a mermaid. The story deserves to be burned for suggesting bras are a form of art. "Lizard People Take Orlando" tells the story of Zaffre Davis, a young grad student running for mayor of Orlando while keeping his double life as a scalie a secret. Burning should be considered due to its depictions of the furry fandom as solely affiliating with Democrats. "The Spirit Realm" is about the survivor of a mass party poisoning who wakes up to find he can talk to and interrogate bottles of alcohol. Not a single character is represented by a bottle of absinthe; a crime best punished by burning. "The Pimp That Slapped the Ripper" is about the fall of Jack the Ripper at the hands of a violent, young procurer who will protect her property at all costs. The author’s new softness has robbed the story of certain graphic, historical details; their omission begets burning. "Washed" is the story of a man who loses all his memories when he takes a shower. Burn this one to effectively eliminate the author’s ugly, stinky past. "An American Weekend" is about a boy’s considerably awful week, and his preceding visitation by the embodiments of Friday, Saturday and Sunday; who guide him out of his funk. Turn it to ashes; this interpretation of the weekend reeks of upper-class privilege. "Roadwork" is about the daily struggles of a lemurtologist, an exorcist working for the DMV whose job is to remove ghosts from the road after a horrific accident. Tossing this story into the fire could fracture the ego of a hate-filled author obsessed with smudging the good name of the DMV.
Download or read book Pages from the Pizza Crows written by Witmer and published by . This book was released on 2023-09-19 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Hardcover edition: A new version of my first novel made to celebrate my early successes. Includes new professionally done artwork [cover reveal 7/19]. Also includes bonus content in the back--an afterword highlighting my tumultuous relationship with sudden popularity and unavoidable infamy. In exchange for pizza, a beautiful crow delivered stories to my windowsill. I've collected those stories, here, for your amusement and observation. The genres gravitate towards surrealist fantasy with a touch of horror and a thread of comedy."Bedfellows" follows the story of a boy and a girl who are attached at the hip by supernatural means. "Belligamy" tells the tale of a powerful curse forcing married men to fight one another in order to protect their brides. "Captured by Animals" details an author's adventures spying on people in the woods to write his romance stories. "The Red Constellation" is Law & Order SVU meets Cosmic Horror. "Young Adult Series Simulator" tells the story of that date you went on at the bookstore. "F1" is about a pregnant horse. "Nine-Tenths An Ape" is the Monkey's Paw but in reverse. "Lethe" asks, how old were you when you had your first memory? Maybe a little too old? "The Bright Idea Room" reminds you that it's the environment that kills you in the end. Not the serial killer. "Satan's Spies" is about a friendly group of businessmen and their obsession with strip clubs.
Download or read book Hollow Kingdom written by Kira Jane Buxton and published by Grand Central Publishing. This book was released on 2019-08-06 with total page 288 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A finalist for the 2020 Thurber Prize for American Humor! "The Secret Life of Pets meets The Walking Dead" in this big-hearted, boundlessly beautiful romp through the Apocalypse, where a foul-mouthed crow is humanity's only chance to survive Seattle's zombie problem (Karen Joy Fowler, PEN/Faulkner Award-winning author). S.T., a domesticated crow, is a bird of simple pleasures: hanging out with his owner Big Jim, trading insults with Seattle's wild crows (i.e. "those idiots"), and enjoying the finest food humankind has to offer: Cheetos ®. But when Big Jim's eyeball falls out of his head, S.T. starts to think something's not quite right. His tried-and-true remedies—from beak-delivered beer to the slobbering affection of Big Jim's loyal but dim-witted dog, Dennis—fail to cure Big Jim's debilitating malady. S.T. is left with no choice but to abandon his old life and venture out into a wild and frightening new world with his trusty steed Dennis, where he suddenly discovers that the neighbors are devouring one other. Local wildlife is abuzz with rumors of Seattle's dangerous new predators. Humanity's extinction has seemingly arrived, and the only one determined to save it is a cowardly crow whose only knowledge of the world comes from TV. What could possibly go wrong? Includes a Reading Group Guide.
Download or read book Crow S Row written by Julie Hockley and published by iUniverse. This book was released on 2014-03-25 with total page 410 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: For college student Emily Sheppard, the thought of spending a summer alone in New York is much more preferable than spending it in France with her parents. Just completing her freshman year at Callister University, Emily faces a quiet summer in the city slums, supporting herself by working at the campus library. During one of her jogs through the nearby cemetery while visiting her brother Bills grave, Emily witnesses a brutal killingand then she blacks out. When Emily regains consciousness, she realizes shes been kidnapped by a young crime boss and his gang. She is hurled into a secret underworld, wondering why she is still alive and for how long. Held captive in rural Vermont, she tries to make sense of her situation and what it means. While uncovering secrets about her brother and his untimely death, Emily falls in love with her very rich and very dangerous captor, twenty-six-year-old Cameron. She understands its a forbidden love and one that wont allow her to return to her previous life. But love may not be enough to save Emily when no one even knows she is missing.
Download or read book Cowgirl written by G. R. Gemin and published by Nosy Crow. This book was released on 2014-03-06 with total page 178 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Growing up on the embattled Mawr Estate in South Wales, all Gemma sees are burglaries, muggings, sadness and boredom. With a dad in prison and a mum who has given up hope, she, like everyone around her, is holding on to memories of the times when happiness wasn't so hard to find. When her search for the scene of a perfect childhood day takes her up into the surrounding hills, Gemma is forced into a meeting with the legendary Cowgirl. Everyone at school knows she's a weirdo: six foot tall and angry, the only conversations she has are with the twelve cows on her dad's farm. But with her abrupt arrival in Gemma's life, everything starts to look different. And with her only friends in mortal danger of the abattoir, it turns out she and Gemma have a mission on their hands. A gently funny story of a community coming together, this is a tale of happy endings in unexpected places. Shortlisted for the Waterstones Prize Winner of the Tir na n-Og Award Cover illustration by Tom Clohosy Cole. Also by G. R. Gemin: Sweet Pizza "The warmth and charm of 'Sweet Pizza' are quite extraordinary; though there are some very moving moments, it is mainly a joyous and eccentric comedy." - Kate Saunders, Guardian Children's Fiction Prize Judge
Download or read book The Shadow Cipher written by Laura Ruby and published by Walden Pond Press. This book was released on 2018 with total page 476 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: It was 1798 when the Morningstarr twins arrived in New York with a vision for a magnificent city: towering skyscrapers, dazzling machines, and winding train lines, all running on technology no one had ever seen before. Fifty-seven years later, the enigmatic architects disappeared, leaving behind for the people of New York the Old York Cipher--a puzzle laid into the shining city they constructed, at the end of which was promised a treasure beyond all imagining. By the present day, however, the puzzle has never been solved, and the greatest mystery of the modern world is little more than a tourist attraction. Tess and Theo Biedermann and their friend Jaime Cruz live in a Morningstarr apartment--until a real estate developer announces that the city has agreed to sell him the five remaining Morningstarr buildings. Their likely destruction means the end of a dream long held by the people of New York. And if Tess, Theo, and Jaime want to save their home, they have to prove that the Old York Cipher is real. Which means they have to solve it.
Download or read book Turkey Trouble written by Wendi J. Silvano and published by Two Lions. This book was released on 2009 with total page 32 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: As Thanksgiving Day approaches, Turkey nervously makes a series of costumes, disguising himself as other farm animals in hopes that he can avoid being served as Thanksgiving dinner.
Download or read book Just Think Analysis Gr 5 written by Cindy Barden and published by Milliken Publishing Company. This book was released on 2000-09-01 with total page 9 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This packet is designed to teach critical thinking skills in conjuction with Benjamin Bloom's hierarchy of educational objectives. These engaging activities will teach students to collect and organize data, identify cause and effect, use analogies, make logically sound decisions, and more! Answer key is included.
Download or read book How Do Meerkats Order Pizza written by Brooke Barker and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2022-11-22 with total page 198 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this “pleasing and informative” (Kirkus Reviews) illustrated nonfiction book for middle grade readers, Brooke Barker of Sad Animal Facts introduces readers to incredible animals and the bizarre things human scientists do to understand them. Did you know that crows never forget a face? Or that jaguars have a favorite cologne? Have you ever wondered how to pet a yeti crab? Or whether dogs can tell if you’re smiling? And just what is a burrowing bettong? Meet these weird, wonderful animals and the equally weird and wonderful scientists who study them. From crafting fake poop to slurping up bugs with a straw, there’s nothing these amazing humans won’t do to help us learn more about the animals around us. Packed with fascinating facts, this hilarious book from the bestselling creator of Sad Animal Facts reveals secrets like why roosters crow and how meerkats make decisions as a group—and how humans can better understand the wild creatures we share the planet with.
Download or read book Just Think Evaluation Gr 5 written by Cindy Barden and published by Milliken Publishing Company. This book was released on 2000-09-01 with total page 10 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This packet is designed to teach critical thinking skills in conjuction with Benjamin Bloom's hierarchy of educational objectives. These engaging activities will teach students to make logical deductions, identify "the moral of the story," analyze criteria, decide what information is relevant and what is not, spot common attributes, and more! Answer key is included.
Download or read book Consider the Crows written by Charlene Weir and published by Minotaur Books. This book was released on 1993-07-15 with total page 272 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A phone call announcing murder rudely interrupts a quiet Sunday morning for chief of police Susan Wren. The body of Lynelle Hames, a quiet young woman newly arrived in Hampstead, Kansas, has been found near the isolated old house where she was living. Susan herself is a recent arrival in the small town. A former San Francisco cop, she chose to stay on as chief after solving the murder of her new husband one year before (The Winter Widow, SMP, 1992). With cold determination, Susan begins her investigation, but matters are soon complicated by the disappearance of a prominent citizen. As the vice-chancellor of Emerson College, Hilary Kalazar knew Lynnelle, who worked as a clerk-typist at the local school. Is Hilary's failure to arrive at the Dallas convention where she was scheduled to speak a coincidence, or is it somehow connected to Lynnelle's murder? The town begins to panic, with the mayor dogging Susan's every step and the townspeople arming themselves against a faceless danger. Hampered by treacherous weather, tangled lies, and small-town secrets, Susan investigates with street-smart persistence, knowing that unless she moves fast, the killer will strike again. Both poignant and wry, Consider the Crows is also a thoroughly entertaining puzzler of a mystery novel.
Download or read book Just Think Grade 5 eBook written by Cindy Barden and published by Lorenz Educational Press. This book was released on 2000-09-01 with total page 52 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The goals of the educational process were classified by Benjamin Bloom into a hierarchy of educational objectives. This classification system, known as Bloom's Taxonomy, divides cognitive objectives into subdivisions ranging from simple to complex. Although other systems have been proposed, Bloom's remains widely recognized by educators and utilized in Critical Thinking cirriculum. The six subdivisions include knowledge, comprehension, application, analysis, synthesis, and evaluation. This book is divided into six sections to match the subdivisions of Bloom's Taxonomy and designed to teach critical thinking skills by providing a variety of across-the-curriculum activities in math, language arts, science, social studies, history, geography, art, and music. An answer key is included.
Download or read book Pizza De Luxe written by Stefano Manfredi and published by Allen & Unwin. This book was released on 2018-07-25 with total page 144 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Discover how easy it is to create the healthiest, tastiest pizza this side of Naples. Pizza can be thin, thick, crisp, chewy, round, square, filled, fried or sweet - but the quality of the pizza is always defined by the quality of the flour, dough and toppings. Stefano Manfredi, Sydney's award-winning pizza maestro, takes the world's favourite fast food back to its origins - as a deliciously healthy and simple meal for everyone to enjoy.
Download or read book Directory of Chain Restaurant Operators written by and published by . This book was released on 2008 with total page 1580 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Download or read book Murder of Crows Lethal Lit Novel 1 written by K. Ancrum and published by Scholastic Inc.. This book was released on 2022-02-01 with total page 208 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Tig Torres investigates Hollow Falls' horrific history in this original novel based on the hit podcast Lethal Lit from Einhorn's Epic Productions and iHeartRadio! Lethal Lit follows Tig Torres, a Cuban American teen detective, in her hometown of Hollow Falls. In season one of the hit podcast, Tig used her smarts and fearlessness to track down the infamous "Lit Killer," a serial killer who staged his murders after death scenes from famous books. But there's no rest for courageous, mystery-solving teens in a place like Hollow Falls, and though the Lit Killer is now behind bars, his protege, Tig's classmate and crush Oly, has disappeared! And that's not the only game afoot. Tig has caught the attention of the town's local armchair detective group, the Murder of Crows. They're obsessed with Hollow Falls' dark past and fixated on a dangerous search for the missing body of the town's founder. There are rumors about what's buried with the body that could be life-changing for whoever finds it, and with a mission like that underway, it's not long before a member of the Murder of Crows turns up dead. Tig, along with her friends Max and Wyn, steps in to help, but the stakes are getting higher and the hunt more deadly. Someone's willing to kill to keep the town's secrets buried, and if Tig's not careful, she'll be the Murder of Crows' next victim. This original Lethal Lit story takes place between Seasons 1 and 2 of the podcast, and features a brand-new, never-before-told story starring Tig Torres and her sleuthing friends!
Download or read book A Murder of Crows written by David Rotenberg and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2013-04-16 with total page 323 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Since Decker Roberts' last run in with the NSA, he's been trying to remain off the radar, searching for his estranged son. His synaesthetic abilities, once a lucrative gift, are increasingly becoming a liability. When a vicious attack wipes out the best and brightest of America's young minds, devastating the country's future, Decker is forced to step out of the shadows and help track down the killer. And as the hunt brings him in contact with other people of "his kind, " Decker begins to realize that there may be depths to his gifts that he had never even imagined. Meanwhile, several parties are secretly tracking the progress of Decker's son, Seth, trying to determine if he has the same unique gift as his father. Decker is determined to go to any lengths to find his son, but along the way he will have to face down enemies, both old and new, as well as struggle with whether his son even wants to be found.
