Download or read book Our Dumb Century written by Scott Dikkers and published by Crown. This book was released on 1999 with total page 178 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Onion has quickly become the world's most popular humor publication, misinforming half a million readers a week with one-of-a-kind social satire both in print (on newsstands nationwide) and online from its remote office in Madison, Wisconsin. Witness the march of history as Editor-in-Chief Scott Dikkers and The Onion's award-winning writing staff present the twentieth century like you've never seen it before.

Download or read book Our Dumb World written by The Onion, Inc. and published by Little, Brown. This book was released on 2008-10-27 with total page 256 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: OUR DUMB WORLD is the world's most comprehensive fake atlas: a repository of all known information about the planet Earth (except where covered by clouds). In late 2007 the hardcover edition became one of the hottest books of the holiday season, entertaining and offending hundreds of thousands of readers around the globe. This new, easy-to-carry paperback edition is perfect for the intrepid traveler to any of the world's exotic locales--from Afghanistan, "Allah's Cat Box," to Ukraine, "the Bridebasket of Europe," to the USA's own Nevada, "Where Everyone's a Loser." Packed with beautiful full-color maps and framed with inaccurate essays about all the world's peoples and places, OUR DUMB WORLD is a gut-busting send-up in which no nation escapes unscathed. "Bottom line: laughed my head off." --Deirdre Donahue, USA Today

Download or read book The Onion Book of Known Knowledge written by The Onion and published by Little, Brown. This book was released on 2012-10-23 with total page 259 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Are you a witless cretin with no reason to live? Would you like to know more about every piece of knowledge ever? Do you have cash? Then congratulations, because just in time for the death of the print industry as we know it comes the final book ever published, and the only one you will ever need: The Onion's compendium of all things known. Replete with an astonishing assemblage of facts, illustrations, maps, charts, threats, blood, and additional fees to edify even the most simple-minded book-buyer, The Onion Book of Known Knowledge is packed with valuable information -- such as the life stages of an Aunt; places to kill one's self in Utica, New York; and the dimensions of a female bucket, or "pail." With hundreds of entries for all 27 letters of the alphabet, The Onion Book of Known Knowledge must be purchased immediately to avoid the sting of eternal ignorance.

Download or read book Dispatches from the Tenth Circle written by Robert Siegel and published by Random House Digital, Inc.. This book was released on 2001 with total page 178 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "The Onion is laugh-out-loud, go-tell-your-friends, get-angry-you-didn't-think-of-it funny." -Conan O'Brien "Outside of maybe Dario Fo, an Italian who few are sure exists, the Onion people make the most consistently perfect and excoriating social commentary we currently have. But will those Nobel bastards honor them, too? Only God, our merciless and just God, knows." -Dave Eggers "The funniest publication in the United States." -The New Yorker "This publication is tasteless and destructive to our shared values. Read it for yourself and you'll see what I mean. Seriously, what else could make me laugh-much less laugh uproariously-while being offended week after week after week?" -Al Gore "The Onion is the funniest thing in news since Dan Rather's spooky stare." -Matt Groening "Brutal satire that rushes into the far reaches of race, class, sexuality, and culture where many publications-and critics-fear to tread." -Chicago Tribune "The Onion, unlike any other entity in our media culture, offers a refreshingly honest look at our complicated life." -Ken Burns

Download or read book Our Front Pages written by The Onion and published by Scribner. This book was released on 2009-11-03 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From The Birth Of A Nation To The Death Of Journalism Since its founding by a bloodthirsty tyrant in 1756, The Onion has not merely changed the way we think about the news -- it has changed whether we think about the news at all. As the first decade of this new millennium draws to a close, Our Front Pages shows us the first thing that presidents, kings, prime ministers, and popes saw when they opened their eyes each morning for the last 21 years. Now you, the common reader and citizen, can see what they saw and be as informed as they were with this important retrospective of the past two decades. You, too, will realize what generations before have realized and generations yet unborn will some day realize in turn: The Onion is not merely the chronicle of America. The Onion is America.

Download or read book Our Dumb Century written by Scott Dikkers and published by Crown Archetype. This book was released on 2007-09-25 with total page 178 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The staff of The Onion presents a satirical collection of mock headlines and news stories, including an account of the Pentagon's development of an A-bomb-resistant desk for schoolchildren.

Download or read book How the News Makes Us Dumb written by C. John Sommerville and published by InterVarsity Press. This book was released on 2009-09-20 with total page 156 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: We who live at the end of the twentieth century are better informed--and more quickly informed--than any people in history. So why do we also seem more confused, divided and foolish than ever before? Some pundits criticize the news media for political bias. Other analysts worry that up-to-the-minute news reports on radio and television oversimplify complex realities. Still more critics point out that today's reporters can't possibly be experts on the wide variety of subjects they cover. Historian C. John Sommerville thinks the problem with news is more basic. Focusing his critique on the news at its best, he concludes that even at its best it is beyond repair. Sommerville argues that news began to make us dumber when we insisted on having it daily. Now millions of column inches and airtime hours must be filled with information--every day, every hour, every minute. The news, Sommerville says, becomes the driving force for much of our public culture. News schedules turn politics into a perpetual campaign. News packaging influences the timing, content and perception of government initiatives. News frenzies make a superstition out of scientific and medical research. News polls and statistics create opinion as much as they gauge it. Lost in the tidal wave of information is our ability to discern truly significant news--and our ability to recognize and participate in true community. This eye-opening book is for everyone dissatisfied with the state of the news media, but especially for those who think the news really informs them about and connects them with the real world. Read it and you may never again know the tyranny of the daily newspaper or the nightly news broadcast.

Download or read book The Onion s Finest News Reporting written by Scott Dikkers and published by Crown. This book was released on 2000 with total page 178 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Onion is the world's most popular humor periodical. Its first book, Our Dumb Century, was a New York Times #1 best-seller and winner of the 1999 Thurber Prize for American Humor. Now The Onion returns with Volume One of the paper's greatest, most hard-hitting stories, including: --Clinton Deploys Vowels to Bosnia: Operation Vowel Storm Will Make Countless Bosnian Names More Pronounceable --Jesus Christ Returns to NBA --Microsoft Patents Ones, Zeroes --I Can't Stand My Filthy Hippy Owner by Thunder the Ferret

Download or read book The Onion Presents Christmas Exposed written by The Onion Staff and published by Quirk Books. This book was released on 2011-10-25 with total page 148 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without impulse-priced holiday gift books—and now The Onion has unleashed its award-winning team of investigative journalists upon the genre. Christmas Exposed features more than one hundred shocking tales of Secret Santas, shopping mall mayhem, dysfunctional family dinners, and much, much more.

Download or read book The Onion Magazine written by The Onion and published by Little, Brown. This book was released on 2014-11-04 with total page 278 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From America's Finest News Source comes a compilation of the most important, most influential, and glossiest magazine covers ever produced by the hand of humankind. Seen by tens of billions worldwide, these are the unforgettable Onion Magazine covers that altered the course of human history and radically redefined your trivial life anew every weekend. Profound philosophical questions, the thoughts of leading cultural luminaries, harsh truths of existence, remorseless personal attacks -- you will encounter full-color graphical representations of all of these within this handsome volume. Whether you are a connoisseur of pretty pictures or are new to looking at images, The Onion Magazine: The Iconic Covers that Transformed an Undeserving World is sure to give you, the feebleminded consumer, far more pleasure than you have any earthly right to experience.

Download or read book You Are Worthless written by Scott Dikkers and published by Andrews McMeel Publishing. This book was released on 2009-01-01 with total page 242 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: You Are Worthless is the self-help book from hell. This bracing blast of negativity takes aim at the impossibly cheerful "inspirational self-help" books flooding the market and hits the bullseye, with chapters such as "Your Good-for-Nothing Friends," "Your Miserable Job," and "Life: What's the Use". This hilarious parody collects hundreds of tidbits of painful reality such as "You're no good, you're not great-looking, and you're going to die someday and it's probably going to hurt." Who among us isn't sick to death of the gushy, new-agey inspirational books that blindly assert that everyone is worthy? We all know the truth, and this book is as refreshing as a slap to the face. Just some of the depressingly humorous nuggets of truth include: * You don't really have any outstanding qualities. It's safe to say you're pretty much just like everybody else. * The only reason your pet likes you is because you feed it. * As you get older, you are going to have less and less control over your bladder. * If you take a big risk and follow your dream, chances are you're going to fall flat on your face. You Are Worthless also features a section called "Hopeless Role Models from History," including Helen Keller ("I've had it"), and Abraham Lincoln ("The only thing I'm good at is losing").

Download or read book Profiles in Ignorance written by Andy Borowitz and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2022-09-13 with total page 197 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER * WALL STREET JOURNAL BESTSELLER *WASHINGTON POST BESTSELLER * Andy Borowitz, “one of the funniest people in America” (CBS Sunday Morning), brilliantly “chronicles our embrace of anti-intellectualism” (Walter Isaacson) in American politics, from Ronald Reagan to Dan Quayle, from George W. Bush to Sarah Palin, to its apotheosis in Donald J. Trump. Andy Borowitz has been called a “Swiftian satirist” (The Wall Street Journal) and “one of the country’s finest satirists” (The New York Times). Millions of fans and New Yorker readers enjoy his satirical news column “The Borowitz Report.” Now, in Profiles in Ignorance, he delivers “a wittily alarming polemic that tracks the evolution of American politics from grounds for gravitas to festival of idiocy” (The New York Times). Borowitz argues that over the past fifty years, American politicians have grown increasingly allergic to knowledge, and mass media have encouraged the election of ignoramuses by elevating candidates who are better at performing than thinking. Starting with Ronald Reagan’s first campaign for governor of California in 1966 and culminating with the election of Donald J. Trump to the White House, Borowitz shows how, during the age of twenty-four-hour news and social media, the US has elected politicians to positions of great power whose lack of the most basic information is terrifying. In addition to Reagan, Quayle, Bush, Palin, and Trump, Borowitz covers a host of congresspersons, senators, and governors who have helped lower the bar over the past five decades. Profiles in Ignorance aims to make us both laugh and cry: laugh at the idiotic antics of these public figures, and cry at the cataclysms these icons of ignorance have caused. But most importantly, the book delivers a call to action and a cause for optimism: History doesn’t move in a straight line, and we can change course if we act now.

Download or read book Trump s America written by Scott Dikkers and published by Micro Publishing Media, INC. This book was released on 2016-04-15 with total page 170 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This book is important, and not just because it's about Donald Trump. It is essential reading for anyone who wants to discover the official Trump Brand Origin Story, to learn his positions on vital issues like the military—“Are These the Biggest Missiles We Have?", science— “If Einstein Was So Smart, Why Wasn't He Rich?" and good government—“ Of the Good People, By the Good People, and For the Good People”. Through hilarious stories, photo mashups, official documents, and future newspaper clippings, readers will experience life under the leadership of President Trump. This is the road map every citizen needs to thrive and survive in a "Trumpocalypse."Remember, it will be Trump’s America, but you have to live in it.

Download or read book The Onion Ad Nauseam written by Robert Siegel and published by Three Rivers Press (CA). This book was released on 2002 with total page 273 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An anthology encompassing hundreds of articles from September 2000 through September 2001 includes "No Jennifer Lopez News Today" and such post-September 11 works as "Hijackers Surprised to Find Selves in Hell."

Download or read book America the Book written by Jon Stewart and published by Grand Central Publishing. This book was released on 2004 with total page 248 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Amazon.com ExclusivesFeaturing a foreword by Thomas Jefferson, a Dress the Supreme Court layout, and, oddly enough, a profile of George "The Iceman" Gervin, America (The Book): A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction, from Jon Stewart and the writers of the Emmy Award-winning The Daily Show, is by far one the most irreverent and wittiest (and may we add smartest) political book you're likely to encounter. Amazon.com spoke with Jon Stewart a few days before the 2004 publication of America (The Book) and they discussed bald eagles, magical talking cats, Thor Heyerdahl, and much more • Read the Amazon.com Interview with Jon Stewart • Listen to the Amazon.com Interview with Jon Stewart • Watch a "vintage" Amazon.com Exclusive Video from Jon StewartMore from Jon Stewart Naked Pictures of Famous People America (The Book) [Audio CD] The Daily Show with Jon Stewart: Indecision 2004 [DVD]

Download or read book Peeling the Onion written by Günter Grass and published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. This book was released on 2008 with total page 452 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In this extraordinary memoir, Nobel Prize-winning author Günter Grass remembers his early life, from his boyhood in a cramped two-room apartment in Danzig through the late 1950s, when The Tin Drum was published. During the Second World War, Grass volunteered for the submarine corps at the age of fifteen but was rejected; two years later, in 1944, he was instead drafted into the Waffen-SS. Taken prisoner by American forces as he was recovering from shrapnel wounds, he spent the final weeks of the war in an American POW camp. After the war, Grass resolved to become an artist and moved with his first wife to Paris, where he began to write the novel that would make him famous. Full of the bravado of youth, the rubble of postwar Germany, the thrill of wild love affairs, and the exhilaration of Paris in the early fifties, Peeling the Onion--which caused great controversy when it was published in Germany--reveals Grass at his most intimate.

Download or read book Destined for Destiny written by Scott Dikkers and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2006-10-17 with total page 194 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In Destined for Destiny, George W. Bush offers readers an intimate, plainspoken, and often readable look at the character-shaping achievements that led to his inevitable rise to the office of President of the United States. Written from the heart, not from the brain, this definitive autobiography takes readers on a journey through the 43rd President's life, including his hardscrabble beginnings as the child of West Texas oil millionaires, the remarkable academic performance that earned him entry into the finest East Coast schools, and his proud service to the country as an occasional member of the National Guard sometime around 1972 or 1973. He proudly recounts his years as a successful oil-business failure and the owner of a baseball team. He even dares to dream the ultimate dream: to become Commissioner of Baseball. The great man we meet here displays his mother's steely resolve and vindictive temper, his father's keen mastery of language, and his own unique gift of deciding. His gripping life story deepens when a faith in God hits him one day "like a bottle of Jack on an empty stomach," and he has an encounter with the Prince of Peace that sets George W. Bush on a path to become the greatest War President in history. To help craft this lasting account of his life and leadership, George W. Bush turned to two writers who have earned not only his trust but his deep friendship: Scott Dikkers, editor-in-chief of The Onion and coauthor of the #1 bestseller Our Dumb Century, and Peter Hilleren, former producer for public radio and some of the nation's finest public-access cable-television stations. Dikkers and Hilleren call on their finely honed journalism expertise every week to write and record the President's weekly radio address on WeeklyRadioAddress.com. Their work on such stirring addresses as "June Terror Update" and "The Pope Is Dead" made them the ideal choice to meet the challenge of chronicling the visionary mark left on history by its shining light, President George W. Bush. * * * Free from all the filters, handlers, and facts . . . I tell the untold story of my inspirational life. You will struggle with me in my strugglesome youth. During the Vietnam War, you will be right there at my side as I face down the terrible enemy of my sinful partying. Together, we will meet and fall head over heels for the love of my life -- Jesus. And through me you will become a beloved, terror-fighting hero in the greatest hour of my presidency, September 11, 2001. I embarked upon this important and historical work against the advice of my advisors. Come what may, I wanted you to hear my story from me, in my own talking. God bless, George W. Bush