Download or read book Oh the Places You ll Eff Up written by Joshua Miller and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2014-04-01 with total page 41 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This hilarious graduation keepsake exposes the not-always-awesome realities of becoming an adult in bitingly satirical verse. Congrats! Congrats! You’ve made it so far. You’re an adult now, you’re even allowed in a bar. But long before you’re going to succeed, You’ll eff shit up, 100% guaranteed. This off-beat (and off-color) volume of illustrated comic verse offers an honest assessment of what’s in store for those with the misfortune of just entering the workforce. It is the perfect graduation present for any young adult who needs a dose of reality—or a good laugh.

Download or read book Oh the Places You ll Eff Up written by Joshua Miller and published by Ulysses Press. This book was released on 2014-04-01 with total page 40 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A HILARIOUS GRADUATION KEEPSAKE THAT GLEEFULLY EXPOSES THE NOT-ALWAYS-AWESOME REALITIES OF STARTING OUT IN THE ADULT WORLD Congrats! Congrats! You've made it so far. You're an adult now, you're even allowed in a bar. But long before you're going to succeed, You'll eff shit up, 100% guaranteed. This ultimate graduation present is sure to bring a nervous smile to the face of any young adult about to face the wide world.

Download or read book Goodnight Dorm Room written by Samuel Kaplan and published by Ulysses Press. This book was released on 2016-03-29 with total page 66 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A BITTERSWEET AND HUMOROUS GUIDE TO COLLEGE LIFE FEATURING PRACTICAL TIPS COMBINED WITH FUNNY, FULL COLOR ILLUSTRATIONS You're off to college--it's gonna be life-changing Follow this book's advice to make it amazing - What to pack, what to leave behind - Which classes to pick - How TAs can save your brain - Why flip flops are a must - How often to change your sheets - Where to make new friends - How to balance class and fun - And more

Download or read book Go the F k to Sleep written by Adam Mansbach and published by Akashic Books. This book was released on 2011-06-14 with total page 18 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The #1 New York Times Bestseller: “A hilarious take on that age-old problem: getting the beloved child to go to sleep” (NPR). “Hell no, you can’t go to the bathroom. You know where you can go? The f**k to sleep.” Go the Fuck to Sleep is a book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, it captures the familiar—and unspoken—tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night. Read by a host of celebrities, from Samuel L. Jackson to Jennifer Garner, this subversively funny bestselling storybook will not actually put your kids to sleep, but it will leave you laughing so hard you won’t care.

Download or read book How Shall I Know You A Short Story written by Hilary Mantel and published by Henry Holt and Company. This book was released on 2014-08-26 with total page 26 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "She looked up and smiled. She had a face of feral sweetness, its color yellow; her eyes were long and dark, her mouth a taut bow, her nostrils upturned as if she were scenting the wind." In "How Shall I Know You?," a melancholic and ailing writer reluctantly travels east of London to give a lecture before a literary society. Mr. Simister, the organization's secretary, lures the world-weary novelist turned biographer with promises of a modest stipend and lodging at a charming bed-and-breakfast for her trouble. Nevertheless, on that rainy day she meets Mr. Simister at the train station, she wonders why she ever agreed to come in the first place. Driving past steel-shuttered windows and Day-Glo banners, Mr. Simister takes the writer to her hotel for the evening, which turns out to be crumbling and isolated rather than picturesque. As she crosses the threshold into the dank stench of Eccles House she is faced with the feral porter, Louise, and suffers through an evening that may be more than she bargained for. From Hilary Mantel's brilliant and darkly comic collection of contemporary stories, The Assassination of Margaret Thatcher, comes a tale told with her distinctive blend of subversive wit and gimlet-eyed characterization. "How Shall I Know You?" showcases the extraordinary genius of Hilary Mantel, called one of our "greatest living novelists" (NPR).

Download or read book A Zombie s History of the United States written by Worm Miller and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2010-12-01 with total page 190 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Learn the American history they don’t teach in school—like colonial zombie massacres and undead Civil War heroes—in this horrifying and hilarious volume. “Americans have been taught that their nation is civilized and humane. But, too often, U.S. actions have been uncivilized and inhumane.” —Howard Zinn Shedding light on 500 years of suppression, this shocking exposé reveals the pivotal role in American history played by its most invisible minority—zombies. From colonization and revolution to World Wars and global hegemony, A Zombie’s History of the United States tells the powerful and moving stories of this country’s living-dead underclass, including: •The zombie massacre of European colonists at Plymouth Rock •The gruesome killing of a zombinated Meriwether Lewis by his fellow explorer William Clark •The doomed defense of the Alamo against hordes of the attacking undead •The heroic, platoon-saving charge into a hail of German fire by an undead Lt. Audie Murphy •The top-secret NASA missions that launched (and often lost) zombies into space •The anti-terrorist program to stop the weaponization of the zombie virus

Download or read book H M S Pinafore written by William Schwenck Gilbert and published by . This book was released on 1883 with total page 46 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:

Download or read book The World Reduced to Infographics written by Patrick Casey and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2011-12-13 with total page 111 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: LIFE'S MYSTERIES, WHY HOT WOMEN LOVE TACO BELL, AND MUCH, MUCH LESS ARE FINALLY EXPLAINED IN A WAY THE REST OF US CAN UNDERSTAND--WITH FLASHY COLOR GRAPHICS Respected academics agree that The World Reduced to Infographics is jam-packed with colorful illustrations. Now you can finally understand complex facts with the ease and enjoyment of eating an ice cream sandwich. After all, any information that can’t be explained with a hilarious infographic isn’t worth knowing. • Are You Pregnant? Flow Chart • Doomed Cities of U.S. Map • Human Anatomy of Vices Diagram • Reasons to Go Fishing Pie Chart • Bowling Score by Drunkenness Area Graph

Download or read book Hyperbole and a Half written by Allie Brosh and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2013-10-29 with total page 384 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: #1 New York Times Bestseller “Funny and smart as hell” (Bill Gates), Allie Brosh’s Hyperbole and a Half showcases her unique voice, leaping wit, and her ability to capture complex emotions with deceptively simple illustrations. FROM THE PUBLISHER: Every time Allie Brosh posts something new on her hugely popular blog Hyperbole and a Half the internet rejoices. This full-color, beautifully illustrated edition features more than fifty percent new content, with ten never-before-seen essays and one wholly revised and expanded piece as well as classics from the website like, “The God of Cake,” “Dogs Don’t Understand Basic Concepts Like Moving,” and her astonishing, “Adventures in Depression,” and “Depression Part Two,” which have been hailed as some of the most insightful meditations on the disease ever written. Brosh’s debut marks the launch of a major new American humorist who will surely make even the biggest scrooge or snob laugh. We dare you not to. FROM THE AUTHOR: This is a book I wrote. Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative—like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it—but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book: Pictures Words Stories about things that happened to me Stories about things that happened to other people because of me Eight billion dollars* Stories about dogs The secret to eternal happiness* *These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness!

Download or read book How It Feels to Float written by Helena Fox and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2019-05-07 with total page 386 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A Kirkus Reviews Best Book of the Year A Chicago Public Library Best of the Best of the Year "Profoundly moving . . . Will take your breath away." —Kathleen Glasgow, author of Girl in Pieces A stunningly gorgeous and deeply hopeful portrayal of living with mental illness and grief, from an exceptional new voice. Biz knows how to float. She has her people, her posse, her mom and the twins. She has Grace. And she has her dad, who tells her about the little kid she was, and who shouldn't be here but is. So Biz doesn't tell anyone anything. Not about her dark, runaway thoughts, not about kissing Grace or noticing Jasper, the new boy. And she doesn't tell anyone about her dad. Because her dad died when she was seven. And Biz knows how to float, right there on the surface—normal okay regular fine. But after what happens on the beach—first in the ocean, and then in the sand—the tethers that hold Biz steady come undone. Dad disappears and, with him, all comfort. It might be easier, better, sweeter to float all the way away? Or maybe stay a little longer, find her father, bring him back to her. Or maybe—maybe maybe maybe—there's a third way Biz just can't see yet. Debut author Helena Fox tells a story about love and grief, about inter-generational mental illness, and how living with it is both a bridge to someone loved and lost and, also, a chasm. She explores the hard and beautiful places loss can take us, and honors those who hold us tightly when the current wants to tug us out to sea. "Give this to all [your] friends immediately." —Cosmopolitan.com "I haven't been so dazzled by a YA in ages." —Jandy Nelson, author of I'll Give You the Sun (via SLJ) "Mesmerizing and timely." —Bustle "Nothing short of exquisite." —PopSugar "Immensely satisfying" —Girls' Life * "Lyrical and profoundly affecting." —Kirkus (starred review) * "Masterful...Just beautiful." —Booklist (starred review) * "Intimate...Unexpected." —PW (starred review) * "Fox writes with superb understanding and tenderness." —BCCB (starred review) * "Frank [and] beautifully crafted." —BookPage (starred review) "Deeply moving...A story of hope." —Common Sense Media "This book will explode you into atoms." —Margo Lanagan, author of Tender Morsels "Helena Fox's novel delivers. Read it." —Cath Crowley, author of Words in Deep Blue "This is not a book; it is a work of art." —Kerry Kletter, author of The First Time She Drowned "Perfect...Readers will be deeply moved." —Books+Publishing

Download or read book Morning Star written by Pierce Brown and published by Del Rey. This book was released on 2016-02-09 with total page 545 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Red Rising thrilled readers and announced the presence of a talented new author. Golden Son changed the game and took the story of Darrow to the next level. Now comes the exhilarating next chapter in the Red Rising Saga: Morning Star. ITW THRILLER AWARD FINALIST • “[Brown’s] achievement is in creating an uncomfortably familiar world of flaw, fear, and promise.”—Entertainment Weekly Darrow would have lived in peace, but his enemies brought him war. The Gold overlords demanded his obedience, hanged his wife, and enslaved his people. But Darrow is determined to fight back. Risking everything to transform himself and breach Gold society, Darrow has battled to survive the cutthroat rivalries that breed Society’s mightiest warriors, climbed the ranks, and waited patiently to unleash the revolution that will tear the hierarchy apart from within. Finally, the time has come. But devotion to honor and hunger for vengeance run deep on both sides. Darrow and his comrades-in-arms face powerful enemies without scruple or mercy. Among them are some Darrow once considered friends. To win, Darrow will need to inspire those shackled in darkness to break their chains, unmake the world their cruel masters have built, and claim a destiny too long denied—and too glorious to surrender. Praise for Morning Star “There is no one writing today who does shameless, Michael Bay–style action set pieces the way Brown does. The battle scenes are kinetic, bloody, breathless, crazy. Everything is on fire all the time.”—NPR “Morning Star is this trilogy’s Return of the Jedi. . . . The impactful battles that make up most of Morning Star are damn near operatic. . . . It absolutely satisfies.”—Tordotcom “Excellent . . . Brown’s vivid, first-person prose puts the reader right at the forefront of impassioned speeches, broken families, and engaging battle scenes . . . as this interstellar civil war comes to a most satisfying conclusion.”—Publishers Weekly (starred review) “A page-turning epic filled with twists and turns . . . The conclusion to Brown’s saga is simply stellar.”—Booklist (starred review) Don’t miss any of Pierce Brown’s Red Rising Saga: RED RISING • GOLDEN SON • MORNING STAR • IRON GOLD • DARK AGE • LIGHT BRINGER

Download or read book Into the Sweet Hereafter written by Kaye George and published by Lyrical Underground. This book was released on 2021-03-09 with total page 179 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Spring has sprung in the charming tourist town of Fredericksburg, Texas, and one of the tastiest attractions is a trip to Tally’s Old Tyme Sweets—until a bizarre burglary leaves a bitter aftertaste . . . Tally Holt is thrilled to see her new replicas of vintage sweets displayed in the window of Bella’s Baskets, a gift basket shop owned by her friend, Yolanda Bella. There’s just one problem—the creations appear to be melting. The ladies assume the culprit is the broiling heat of the Texas sun—until that night, the store window is smashed, and there’s only one thing missing: the replicas. Tally is positively stumped. Clearly, the useless fake candies are more special than she bargained for—but why? When a rash of seemingly unrelated burglaries sweeps through the area, Tally is determined to sleuth out the answer—and stop a thief from killing more than the town’s appetite . . .

Download or read book Two Can Keep a Secret written by Karen M. McManus and published by Delacorte Press. This book was released on 2019-01-08 with total page 338 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The "must-read YA thriller" (Bustle) from #1 New York Times bestselling author of One of Us Is Lying about a small town with deadly secrets. "When it comes to YA suspense, Karen M. McManus is in a league of her own..." --Entertainment Weekly Echo Ridge is small-town America. Ellery's never been there, but she's heard all about it. Her aunt went missing there at age seventeen. And only five years ago, a homecoming queen put the town on the map when she was killed. Now Ellery has to move there to live with a grandmother she barely knows. The town is picture-perfect, but it's hiding secrets. And before school even begins for Ellery, someone has declared open season on homecoming, promising to make it as dangerous as it was five years ago. Then, almost as if to prove it, another girl goes missing. Ellery knows all about secrets. Her mother has them; her grandmother does too. And the longer she's in Echo Ridge, the clearer it becomes that everyone there is hiding something. The thing is, secrets are dangerous--and most people aren't good at keeping them. Which is why in Echo Ridge, it's safest to keep your secrets to yourself. Fans of the hit thriller that started it all can watch the secrets of the Bayview Four be revealed in the One of Us is Lying TV series now streaming on NBC's Peacock!

Download or read book The Human Division written by John Scalzi and published by Tor Books. This book was released on 2013-05-14 with total page 339 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Following the events of The Last Colony, John Scalzi tells the story of the fight to maintain the unity of the human race. The people of Earth now know that the human Colonial Union has kept them ignorant of the dangerous universe around them. For generations the CU had defended humanity against hostile aliens, deliberately keeping Earth an ignorant backwater and a source of military recruits. Now the CU's secrets are known to all. Other alien races have come on the scene and formed a new alliance—an alliance against the Colonial Union. And they've invited the people of Earth to join them. For a shaken and betrayed Earth, the choice isn't obvious or easy. Against such possibilities, managing the survival of the Colonial Union won't be easy, either. It will take diplomatic finesse, political cunning...and a brilliant "B Team," centered on the resourceful Lieutenant Harry Wilson, that can be deployed to deal with the unpredictable and unexpected things the universe throws at you when you're struggling to preserve the unity of the human race. Being published online from January to April 2013 as a three-month digital serial, The Human Division will appear as a full-length novel of the Old Man's War universe, plus—for the first time in print—the first tale of Lieutenant Harry Wilson, and a coda that wasn't part of the digital serialization. Old Man's War Series #1 Old Man’s War #2 The Ghost Brigades #3 The Last Colony #4 Zoe’s Tale #5 The Human Division #6 The End of All Things Short fiction: “After the Coup” Other Tor Books The Android’s Dream Agent to the Stars Your Hate Mail Will Be Graded Fuzzy Nation Redshirts Lock In The Collapsing Empire (forthcoming) At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.

Download or read book Oh The Meetings You ll Go To written by Dr. Suits and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2017-04-18 with total page 26 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Every young grad needs this fun, snarky primer for the real world. You’ll meet the world’s brightest, you’ll hang with the best! And now that you’ve met them, you’ll work with the rest! If you’re looking for an inspirational book for young people starting life’s great adventure, you probably want to read Dr. Seuss’s Oh, the Places You’ll Go! But before your first day of actual work, you need to meet Dr. Suits for a dose of reality. You won’t learn this stuff in high school, college, or gift books by world-famous authors. But fear not! With his unique blend of hilarious verse and images, Dr. Suits can help young grads get a handle on what’s really about to hit them. Oh, the Meetings You’ll Go To! is a brutally honest, and ultimately uplifting, take on the struggles of post-grad life that every 20-something will relate to. Tough love never made you laugh so hard.

Download or read book Red Planet Blues written by Robert J. Sawyer and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2013-03-26 with total page 347 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Incorporating the Hugo & Nebula award–nominated novella “Identity Theft” The name’s Lomax—Alex Lomax. I’m the one and only private eye working the mean streets of New Klondike, the Martian frontier town that sprang up forty years ago after Simon Weingarten and Denny O’Reilly discovered fossils on the Red Planet. Back on Earth, where anything can be synthesized, the remains of alien life are the most valuable of all collectibles, so shiploads of desperate treasure hunters stampeded here in the Great Martian Fossil Rush. I’m trying to make an honest buck in a dishonest world, tracking down killers and kidnappers among the failed prospectors, the corrupt cops, and a growing population of transfers—lucky stiffs who, after striking paleontological gold, upload their minds into immortal android bodies. But when I uncover clues to solving the decades-old murders of Weingarten and O’Reilly, along with a journal that may lead to their legendary mother lode of Martian fossils, God only knows what I’ll dig up...

Download or read book The Hollow Places written by T. Kingfisher and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2020-10-06 with total page 352 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A young woman discovers a strange portal in her uncle’s house, leading to madness and terror in this gripping new novel from the author of the “innovative, unexpected, and absolutely chilling” (Mira Grant, Nebula Award–winning author) The Twisted Ones. Pray they are hungry. Kara finds the words in the mysterious bunker that she’s discovered behind a hole in the wall of her uncle’s house. Freshly divorced and living back at home, Kara now becomes obsessed with these cryptic words and starts exploring this peculiar area—only to discover that it holds portals to countless alternate realities. But these places are haunted by creatures that seem to hear thoughts…and the more one fears them, the stronger they become. With her distinctive “delightfully fresh and subversive” (SF Bluestocking) prose and the strange, sinister wonder found in Guillermo del Toro’s Pan’s Labyrinth, The Hollow Places is another compelling and white-knuckled horror novel that you won’t be able to put down.