Download or read book My Pug is STILL an Asshole written by Matt Shaw and published by . This book was released on 2022-01-10 with total page 106 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The extended cut of "My Pug is an Asshole" Four years after writing the first book, Matt Shaw decided to revisit his work and add more content which will warn you the dangers of owning such a breed. Read the book, learn about the breed in a fun, lighthearted manner and then - if you STILL want the dog afterwards - you'll be both prepared and know that a pug is the right dog for you. If you read the book and decide a pug isn't for you, Matt Shaw has saved you immense stress and also saved a dog from going to someone ill-prepared to look after it. Interesting fact since the release of the "My Pug is an Asshole" Some people took to social media when the book first came out. They judged the book by the cover and went on the attack, stating Matt Shaw should never have an animal. They entirely missed the point of the book. The book was written to highlight little known information about pugs (and other flat face breeds). It's not to poke fun of them, it's not to spread hate. It is to inform of all the issues you, as a new owner, might face IF you purchase such a dog. From the original blurb: 'I WANT A DOG!' Who hasn't heard that screamed from a child or partner? They want a dog but you don't want one because you know it will be your responsibility to look after it when they grow bored. Well, this book isn't necessarily for you. This book is for those who want a dog but have no idea what they're really letting themselves in for. You see, I wanted a dog. I was one of those annoying people ranting and raving how badly I wanted one. 'Now I am an adult, I should be allowed to get a dog! It's my house!' I got my dog. I got what I wanted. I even chose the dog. Now, as I sit here typing out this blurb, I weep. Why did I do this to myself? Why have I just committed to this little thing for God knows how many years? If you want a dog of your own. Read this book. Perhaps see things you didn't necessarily think of (on top of having to clean up its shit from when you go on walks or when it runs in your garden). Then, when you have read the book, make your decision again. Decide if it really is for you. Don't want a dog? Well this is about a pug called Chewie... Read about Chewie's first year and just laugh at my misadventures and misery... From Matt Shaw, author of 'Wasting Stamps', 'Plentyoffreaks' and 'Im fine' Reviews: "Spot on description of owning a dog" "So true on many, many levels" "Really funny insight on owning a dog" "Absolutely Adorable"

Download or read book My Pug Is an Asshole written by Matt Shaw and published by . This book was released on 2017-08-24 with total page 88 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 'I WANT A DOG!'Who hasn't heard that screamed from a child or partner? They want a dog but you don't want one because you know it will be your responsibility to look after it when they grow bored. Well, this book isn't necessarily for you. This book is for those who want a dog but have no idea what they're really letting themselves in for. You see, I wanted a dog. I was one of those annoying people ranting and raving how badly I wanted one. 'Now I am an adult, I should be allowed to get a dog! It's my house!'I got my dog. I got what I wanted. I even chose the dog. Now, as I sit here typing out this blurb, I weep. Why did I do this to myself? Why have I just committed to this little bastard for God knows how many years?If you want a dog of your own. Read this book. Perhaps see things you didn't necessarily think of (on top of having to clean up its shit from when you go on walks or when it runs in your garden). Then, when you have read the book, make your decision again. Decide if it really is for you.Don't want a dog? Well this is about a pug called Chewie... Read about Chewie's first year and just laugh at my misadventures and misery...From Matt Shaw, author of 'Wasting Stamps', 'Plentyoffreaks' and 'Im fine'

Download or read book Hyperbole and a Half written by Allie Brosh and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2013-10-29 with total page 288 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: #1 New York Times Bestseller “Funny and smart as hell” (Bill Gates), Allie Brosh’s Hyperbole and a Half showcases her unique voice, leaping wit, and her ability to capture complex emotions with deceptively simple illustrations. FROM THE PUBLISHER: Every time Allie Brosh posts something new on her hugely popular blog Hyperbole and a Half the internet rejoices. This full-color, beautifully illustrated edition features more than fifty percent new content, with ten never-before-seen essays and one wholly revised and expanded piece as well as classics from the website like, “The God of Cake,” “Dogs Don’t Understand Basic Concepts Like Moving,” and her astonishing, “Adventures in Depression,” and “Depression Part Two,” which have been hailed as some of the most insightful meditations on the disease ever written. Brosh’s debut marks the launch of a major new American humorist who will surely make even the biggest scrooge or snob laugh. We dare you not to. FROM THE AUTHOR: This is a book I wrote. Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative—like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it—but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book: Pictures Words Stories about things that happened to me Stories about things that happened to other people because of me Eight billion dollars* Stories about dogs The secret to eternal happiness* *These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness!

Download or read book My Kid Is an Asshole and So Is My Dog written by Diana Stefano and published by . This book was released on 2018-09-27 with total page 150 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: My Kid Is an Asshole, and So Is My Dog-- a comedic look at the drama of raising a teenage girl I just returned from the mall after school shopping with my soon-to-be sophomore and her friend. I now understand why fathers opt to go camping, roll around in elk urine, and shit in a hole rather than go to the mall three days before school starts. As if the crowds weren't bad enough, my girl decided to wear a flannel that hung lower than her shorts, making it appear that she was walking around naked from the waist down. She was flocked by sales people, who, I am sure, were calculating their commissions in their heads. I mean, why not? Everybody wants to help the girl who arrives pant-less. Obviously, she needs clothes.We're not home half an hour and the vodka I poured for myself is only half gone when she yells down from her room, "Mom, have you seen my push up bra? Maybe we need to go back to the mall."It's the moments like these where I'm convinced raising a teen is bullshit, and I wonder if we'll ever come out on the other side even speaking to one another. Pass the vodka.There aren't enough warnings in the world for raising teenage girls. Although my mom swears my daughter takes after me, so it's karma.Is it karma that I've got two barking dogs? It must be. Have you ever heard a shiu-tzu bark? I have. Over and over. They think they're coyotes. I swear. And right now, they're wrestling over some stuffed animal, which is surely about to fling open, so I can pick up little beads all over the carpet while drinking my vodka. No wait. They stopped. One of them had to drag its ass across the floor. Epic.It's in the little moments where I earn my parenting badges-the faded stretch marks.Ruff, ruff!If this is my karma for being such an asshole to my mom, maybe we can get through this too. And if she pays attention in English, instead of scouting for a prom date, she can learn to write her own book-the sequel to this: My Mom Is an Asshole, but Not My Dog.

Download or read book The Particulars of Peter written by Kelly Conaboy and published by Grand Central Publishing. This book was released on 2020-12-08 with total page 200 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "This might be one of the month’s, if not the year’s, sweetest books — zaniest, too.” ―The Washington Post "A hilarious addition to the dogoir canon.” ―People "Perhaps the greatest love story ever told.” ―Refinery29 "The feel-good book the world needs." —PopSugar From one of the Internet's most original voices, a hilarious journey through the odd corners of obsessive dog ownership and the author's own infatuation with her perfect dog Peter. The author met Peter in the spring of 2017. He -- calm, puppy-eyed, with the heart of a poet and the soul of, also, a poet -- came to her first as a foster. He was unable to stay with his previously assigned foster for reasons that are none of your business, but which we will tell you were related to frequent urination. The rescue needed someone free of the sort of responsibilities that would force her to regularly leave the house for either work or socializing, and a writer was the natural choice. Thus began a love story for the ages. The Particulars of Peter is a funny exploration of the joy found in loving a dog so much it makes you feel like you're going to combust, and the author's potentially codependent relationship with her own sweet dog, Peter. Readers will follow Peter and his owner to Woofstock, "the largest outdoor festival for dogs in North America," and accompany them to lessons in Canine Freestyle, a sport where dogs perform a routine set to music, creating the illusion that they're dancing with their owners. From learning about Peter's DNA, to seeing if dogs can sense the presence of ghosts, The Particulars of Peter will give readers a smart, entertaining respite from the harsh world of humans into the funny little world of dogs. Readers will accompany this lovable duo through exciting trips, lessons, quiet moments of connection, and probably a failure or two. By fusing memoir and infotainment, The Particulars of Peter promises to refresh the perennially popular dog lit category in a scrumptiously bighearted barnstormer of a book.

Download or read book Bright Lights Big Ass written by Jen Lancaster and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2007-05-01 with total page 404 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Jen Lancaster hates to burst your happy little bubble, but life in the big city isn't all it's cracked up to be. Contrary to what you see on TV and in the movies, most urbanites aren't party-hopping in slinky dresses and strappy stilettos. But lucky for us, Lancaster knows how to make the life of the lower crust mercilessly funny and infinitely entertaining. Whether she's reporting rude neighbors to Homeland Security, harboring a crush on her grocery store clerk, or fighting-and losing-the Battle of the Stairmaster- Lancaster explores how silly, strange, and not-so-fabulous real city living can be. And if anyone doesn't like it, they can kiss her big, fat, pink, puffy down parka.

Download or read book Denim Diamonds and Death written by Carole Nelson Douglas and published by Down & Out Books. This book was released on 2019-10-30 with total page 248 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Denim, Diamonds and Death offers a fine collection from authors supporting the 50th Anniversary of the Mystery Writers of America’s annual Bouchercon World Mystery Convention in Dallas, Texas. Here are fifteen stories that run the gamut from heists to revenge, intricate plots to secrets uncovered, and more than a few tales that defy easy classification. Proceeds from the sale of the book will go to the 2019 Bouchercon’s official charity, Literary Instruction for Texas (LIFT). Edited by Rick Ollerman with stories by Carole Nelson Douglas, John M. Floyd, Dana Haynes, Thomas Luka, Michael Allan Mallory, Angela Crider Neary, Laura Oles, Josh Pachter, John Shepphird, Debra Luttanzi Shutika, Julie Tollefson, Tim P. Walker, Robb White, Kenneth Wishnia, and Mark Wisniewski.

Download or read book Diary of a Neighbor written by Melody Reed and published by Booktango. This book was released on 2013-08-05 with total page 648 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A frustrated college student records her miserable days she spends in apartments with no-so perfect neighbors and a low income. She manages to keep her sanity by working on college studies and reading the bible.

Download or read book The Society of Misfit Stories Presents Volume One written by Milo James Fowler and published by Bards and Sages Publishing. This book was released on 2017-11-20 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Society of Misfit Stories Presents this eclectic collection of novelettes and novellas from some of the most unique voices in the speculative genres. This diverse anthology offers readers an enticing assortment of high fantasy, alien adventure, paranormal investigations, haunts both real and imagined, and more. CONTENTS By Force and Against the King’s Peace by James Dorr Provenance by Fred McGavran Propinquity by Brian Koukol The Barghest by Rafe McGregor On Sabbatical by O’Brian Gunn Bearwalker by Derek Muk Raising Mary (Frankenstein) by Ace Antonio Hall The Belladonna by Sonny Zae Desperate Measures by Deven Greene Little Green Men? By Paul Stansbury The Number of a Man by Tom Pawlowski Detached by Rohit Arora The Death of Dr. Dean by Jack Coey The Short End of the Stick by David Perlmutter Winona in the Window by Steve Passey The Squirming, Scarlet Madness by J.E. Bates The Man with the Golden Hair by Cam Rhys Lay Song of Ascents by Maxwell Zimon Grave Escape by Olga Godim No Way At All by Mike Sherer Idan's World by Milo James Fowler

Download or read book Milk in My Coffee written by Eric Jerome Dickey and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2000-05-01 with total page 384 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From Eric Jerome Dickey comes the New York Times bestselling book that stirred up controversy with its bold portrayal of racial identity and subtle understanding of sexual intimacy. Jordan Greene is in culture shock when he arrives in Manhattan from his Tennessee hometown. Still, he manages to keep the pace and stay in the race, with a Wall Street job, a Queens apartment, and a very sexy girlfriend named J'nette. But when Jordan meets Kimberly Chavers, what starts as a shared cab ride turns into something more. This girl is funny, fiesty, fine...and white. And for a man with Malcolm X's picture hanging on his office wall, that's a definite problem.... This brightly entertaining and emotionally complex novel demonstrates why Eric Jerome Dickey was “one of the most successful Black authors of the last quarter-century” (The New York Times).

Download or read book Banging the Enemy written by Lili Valente and published by Self Taught Ninja. This book was released on 2020-02-03 with total page 251 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Pop Quiz: You just banged a rock star you vowed to loathe until the end of time. What’s next? Hint: You don’t agree to be his fake girlfriend. And you certainly don’t fall in love… Once upon a time, Cutter Comstock was the hot older boy who tormented me in high school. Fast forward thirteen years and I find myself in his bed, riding him like the last stud at the sex rodeo… Needless to say, mistakes have been made… But as a chef, I turn food flops around all the time. I can turn this around, too. All I have to do is ignore the insufferably gorgeous (and generally insufferable) Cutter until he goes on tour. Too bad my nemesis has other plans. Cutter wants my help winning back the one who got away and he knows just the bait to dangle—the chance to open my own restaurant in a dream location. I can pull off pretending to be the devil’s devoted girlfriend in order to make my dreams come true. Right? But what happens when my dreams start to include the clever, funny, unexpectedly sweet man Cutter has become?

Download or read book The Bangover The Complete Series written by Lili Valente and published by Self Taught Ninja. This book was released on 2022-12-01 with total page 976 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Four steamy, feel-good, laugh out loud romantic adventures featuring swoon-worthy rock star heroes and the fabulous ladies who love them. Also includes a brand new holiday novella! THE BANGOVER Note to Self: Don’t bang your best guy friend—and bad boy rock star—in the back of the limo on the way to the swanky Vegas hotel. I give myself very good advice…too bad I stink at taking it. A best-friends-to-lovers, over-the-top, Vegas romp. BANG THEORY I just begged my rock star BFF to give me lessons in seduction. Now to convince my uber-protective tutor that we should keep being more than friends. A friends-to-lovers, sensual education, off-limits romance. BANGING THE ENEMY Pop Quiz: You just banged a rock star you vowed to loathe until the end of time. What’s next? Hint: You don’t agree to be his fake girlfriend. And you certainly don’t fall in love… An enemies-to-lovers, fake dating, second chance romance. THE ROCK STAR’S BABY BARGAIN Two days after my boyfriend dumps me and the sperm bank declines my credit card, a gorgeous rock star offers to whisk me away for two weeks of hot, steamy, all-expenses paid…therapy. And to knock me up while he’s at it. A friends-to-lovers, baby-making, only one bed romance. HOLIDAYS WITH BANG-IFITS The next generation of soon-to-be rock stars deals with a forbidden, age gap, friends-to-lovers romance in this fun and flirty holiday novella.

Download or read book Handbook of Applied Dog Behavior and Training Adaptation and Learning written by Steven R. Lindsay and published by John Wiley & Sons. This book was released on 2013-04-29 with total page 436 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Twenty-five years of study and experience went into the making of this one-of-a-kind reference. Veterinarians, animal scientists, dog owners, trainers, consultants, and counsellors will find this book a benchmark reference and handbook concerning positive, humane management and control of dogs. Reflecting the author's extensive work with dogs, this book promises thorough explanations of topics, and proven behavioural strategies that have been designed, tested, and used by the author. More than 50 figures and tables illustrate this unique and significant contribution to dog behaviour, training, and learning.

Download or read book Pug 66 written by Edmund Jones and published by AuthorHouse. This book was released on 2001-04 with total page 222 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The War of 1812 was raging and his youth was the time of covered wagons and stagecoaches. George W. Strong became a local giant in the era of steamships and the railroad. His path took him through the dark days of the Civil War and the brighter times of the brith of the Industrial Revolution. His life as an icon in a small town in the Midwest was all but forgotten as he passed into obscurity at the age of 92.

Download or read book Let s Pretend This Never Happened written by Jenny Lawson and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2013-03-05 with total page 385 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The #1 New York Times bestselling (mostly true) memoir from the hilarious author of Furiously Happy. “Gaspingly funny and wonderfully inappropriate.”—O, The Oprah Magazine When Jenny Lawson was little, all she ever wanted was to fit in. That dream was cut short by her fantastically unbalanced father and a morbidly eccentric childhood. It did, however, open up an opportunity for Lawson to find the humor in the strange shame-spiral that is her life, and we are all the better for it. In the irreverent Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, Lawson’s long-suffering husband and sweet daughter help her uncover the surprising discovery that the most terribly human moments—the ones we want to pretend never happened—are the very same moments that make us the people we are today. For every intellectual misfit who thought they were the only ones to think the things that Lawson dares to say out loud, this is a poignant and hysterical look at the dark, disturbing, yet wonderful moments of our lives. Readers Guide Inside

Download or read book The Other End of the Leash written by Patricia McConnell, Ph.D. and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 2009-02-19 with total page 289 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Learn to communicate with your dog—using their language “Good reading for dog lovers and an immensely useful manual for dog owners.”—The Washington Post An Applied Animal Behaviorist and dog trainer with more than twenty years’ experience, Dr. Patricia McConnell reveals a revolutionary new perspective on our relationship with dogs—sharing insights on how “man’s best friend” might interpret our behavior, as well as essential advice on how to interact with our four-legged friends in ways that bring out the best in them. After all, humans and dogs are two entirely different species, each shaped by its individual evolutionary heritage. Quite simply, humans are primates and dogs are canids (as are wolves, coyotes, and foxes). Since we each speak a different native tongue, a lot gets lost in the translation. This marvelous guide demonstrates how even the slightest changes in our voices and in the ways we stand can help dogs understand what we want. Inside you will discover: • How you can get your dog to come when called by acting less like a primate and more like a dog • Why the advice to “get dominance” over your dog can cause problems • Why “rough and tumble primate play” can lead to trouble—and how to play with your dog in ways that are fun and keep him out of mischief • How dogs and humans share personality types—and why most dogs want to live with benevolent leaders rather than “alpha wanna-bes!” Fascinating, insightful, and compelling, The Other End of the Leash is a book that strives to help you connect with your dog in a completely new way—so as to enrich that most rewarding of relationships.

Download or read book My Dog Is an Asshole Journal for Women Men Boss Coworkers Colleagues Students written by Dogs Lovers Gifts Journals and published by . This book was released on 2019-12-18 with total page 122 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Funny vintage looks like Notebook for dog lovers. Use it as a journal of dog training or a daily Notebook. Anyway, it's a nice gift idea for you or any dog owner in your life.It's Perfect for taking notes, jotting lists, doodling, brainstorming, prayer and meditation journaling, writing in as a diary, or giving as a gift. Not too thick & not too thin, so it's a great size to throw in your purse or bag!